A shadow passed over us, and as I looked up I caught a glimpse of one of the eagles gliding far above. No brambles for them!
Ly must have seen the expression on my face, for he laughed and shook his head, curls bobbing. “Not yet, Princess! A few more sun-crossings of walking, then we make camp. But when we leave, we will all fly.”
Arran grinned, and slapped Ly playfully on the shoulder. I wished I had their confidence. Up above, the eagles floated serenely.
We stopped briefly to eat the parcels of food in our pockets, then carried on. As the afternoon wore away, the forest began to be more open, with massive oaks spreading their branches far above our heads and little growing beneath them in the gloom. We walked in a cavernous hall with great trunks like pillars supporting the green roof, our boots making no sound on the dry earth. Somewhere up above, the eagles flew on in the light, and once or twice I skipped into Sunshine’s head to look down on the unbroken green of the forest. But the light dazzled my eyes, and I found it hard to walk in the half-light below while looking at so much brilliance above. Besides, the endless trees were depressing. When would we ever escape them?
Late in the afternoon, Ly turned aside and led us surely to the banks of a little stream, with a patch of level ground to one side and a welcome glimpse of sky above.
“We will camp here tonight,” he said.
While he and Arran gathered wood and set about making a fire, I scrabbled round in my pack for the food we’d brought to sustain us on the journey. Once we fixed on a camp, Ly would hunt and cook for us, but for now we had to make do with the supplies we carried. Laying it all out on a flat stone, I gazed at the assortment of packages and bags and small flasks, opening this and that. All of it had been chosen and wrapped by Ly, and many items I couldn’t even identify. Too much for one meal, but what to choose? A little of everything, or just one or two things? It was too difficult.
Ly laughed when he came back, arms full of wood. “Are you having trouble, Princess?”
“I have no idea what we should eat. And what is this?”
“Grains. Very tasty stuffed into a game bird or a hare with a few berries, but no use to us tonight.”
“The cheese, then…”
“No, the cheese has a wax rind,” he said, without impatience. “It will keep for a long time. We will eat the bread, that cold meat there, and one each of those pastries. I picked a few berries on the way, but there is not much ripe fruit yet.”
“Why that meat, rather than the other types?”
“This one is salted, and this is dried, so they will keep for longer. The duck is fresh, so we should eat it first.”
“You see, this is why I should leave the meals to you. Next time, I will gather wood, and you can sort out the food.”
He smiled at me. “As you wish.”
We sat companionably round the fire, eating, drinking some hot concoction of Ly’s and chatting idly about the weather and the camp we would share. Or rather, the two men did. I lay back in the grass and heather, eyes closed. Sunshine and her friends had been hunting, and were currently devouring a couple of goats, so I wasn’t interested in watching the world through her eyes. Instead, I tried Ly’s head, and to my delight, it was open to me. I had the pleasure of watching Arran’s face as he talked, alive with enthusiasm for the camp they would build, and how he could help. It brought home to me everything he’d said about being useful. It pleased me so much that he was happy in our little adventure, but I couldn’t shake the nagging fear in my heart.
After a while, the damp grass chilled me, and I reached for a little of Ly’s magic to warm me. And then a little more, because it felt good and he had plenty to spare now. So relaxing, the sensation of magic flowing through me, soothing my aching legs and seeping into my very bones. It was hard to worry about the future when the present was so restful and pleasant. For a while, there would be no meetings, no disgruntled nobles to be appeased, no Yannassia summoning me, no tedious formal dinners with visiting dignitaries, no threat of war. Just walking through wild forest with the two men I loved best in the world. I took a little more magic and then, exhausted, I fell asleep.
I woke once in the darkness, only the dull embers of the fire giving any light. Someone had covered me with a blanket. I could detect Ly’s magic somewhere just on the far side of the fire. But Arran was invisible to my senses. Rolling over, I discovered him lying next to me, curled up in a cloak, only his blond hair visible. Contented, I wrapped the blanket more tightly around me, and went back to sleep.
~~~~~
By the time we camped for the third night, the endless forest had become a tedious chore. I was heartily sick of trees and their wayward habits. Just when we thought we’d found a clear path for a change, there would be a clearing full of thorn bushes, or a stream, or a line of fallen trees to be climbed over or detoured around. But for several hours now we had been climbing steadily, the trees changing to spindly upland varieties, and I knew from Sunshine’s view that we were not far from open country.
Arran and I collected wood while Ly dug a firepit and sorted out food for us. He’d speared one of the tiny woodland deer that morning, so we had fresh meat to look forward to, and the forest supplied a hundred different varieties of mushroom to choose from. The bread and pastries were gone, but there was plenty of cheese and dried fruit. Not a feast, but Ly’s skills with herbs and sprinkles of this and that managed to make even the plainest meal tasty. I would have loved a glass of decent wine to wash it down, though. That and my books were the only aspects of civilisation that I missed.
Again, I was so tired that I fell asleep almost as soon as we’d finished eating. This time I woke again while it was still light, the moon filling the sky. I turned my head to find Arran’s face a hand-span from my own. He was wide awake, gazing solemnly at me.
“What is it? Why aren’t you asleep?” I whispered.
“No reason. Well, nothing important, anyway.”
“If it keeps you awake, it’s important. Do you want to talk about it?”
He laughed a little sheepishly. “Just… you know.”
“Oh, that.” I laughed too, but the idea was appealing. “Would you like to cuddle?”
“With Ly sleeping only a stone’s throw away?”
“I think he knows what we get up to at night. Besides, we’ll be camping together for a moon. That’s a long time to go without.”
“Yes, but…”
“Wait…” I shifted my consciousness to Ly’s mind, to find him wakeful, too. “Wait here,” I said to Arran.
Tossing the blanket aside, I jumped up and walked around the campfire. Ly was lying still, his back to me, but as I drew near he turned and sat upright. The amber necklace at his throat glimmered as he looked up at me.
“Princess?”
“Would you mind disappearing for a while? Arran and I could do with some time alone.”
“Alone? I— oh!” He flushed. “I beg your pardon. That was inconsiderate of me. Now that we are in my own land, my mind is back in Clan ways. I had forgotten that you prefer to be private for such occasions.”
“And your people don’t?” But even as I asked the question, I remembered the skin tents, clava, that the Clanfolk lived in. Not much privacy there, with only a thin curtain to shield a couple from view.
“It is of great interest to everyone how husband and wife get along,” he said, taking the question seriously. “The elders will make enquiries if there are no signs of pleasuring.” He must have seen the distaste on my face, for he laughed. “I daresay it sounds strange, but there are no secrets in a Clan village. Everything that happens is known, everything is shared. That is the way we are.”
“Well, I’m glad I’m Bennamorian, then,” I said. “I don’t like the sound of so much intimacy. Some things should be kept private, surely?”
He chewed his lip thoughtfully, gazing up at me with his head tilted to one side.
“It disappoints me to hear you say so. For you must realise, Princess – when we
are blood-bonded, you will be as much Clan as I am, and Arran too. We will be… joined together, not entirely separate. When we go deeper into Clanlands, we will be expected to follow Clan customs.”
“Oh. Sharing a clava, you mean?”
“Sharing furs. We will all three of us sleep together. And we will start at our bonding camp.”
14: The Nameless Hills
I waited until we’d had our time alone, and Arran was relaxed, sprawled on his back while I snuggled against him, before mentioning the idea of bed-sharing.
“Well, that is not going to happen,” was his first reaction. “I do not care what Clan customs may be. I am Bennamorian, and we do not do that sort of thing.”
I tried not to laugh at his outrage. “Don’t we? I’ve heard of some odd situations. And honestly, I’m not sure what is so different about what we’re doing now. We sleep this side of the fire, he sleeps the other, we might as well all be in bed together.”
“But not… doing anything,” he said. “Sleeping… well, I suppose I could put up with that, if I have to. But cuddling together when he is right there? Or, even worse, me being right there while you and he are—” He stopped, and when I rolled over to look at his face, his lips were tightly clamped in distress.
“I’ve been sharing Ly’s bed for four years,” I said softly. “You were the one who decided it was time. I thought you were comfortable with the idea.”
“I am. I was. But that night at Lakeside…” He ran his fingers gently down my face, and then over my lips. “Ah, sweetheart, I never minded when you were far away at the other side of the apartment. Not much, anyway. And I used to go out on those nights – have evening board with friends, sleep at the barracks, anything to distract me. Then in the morning you would be mine again, smiling and happy to see me, and all was well. But at Lakeside, you were just the other side of the bedroom door. There was no escape. And you enjoyed it so much, I could tell.”
“That was the magic. I’d taken everything from the new byan shar, remember, and then there was Ly. You know what I’m like when I’m full of magic – the sex is always amazing.”
“Yes, but he can make that happen whenever he wants. He has so much magic in him now, enough to share with you and still be very powerful. He can give you a night like that every night, if he wants to. I cannot possibly compare.”
“Every night? That sounds exhausting,” I said with feeling. “And it’s not a competition between you. I’m not going to toss you aside just because Ly can give me more magically-driven sex. I’m not going to toss you aside at all, ever. I love you, you idiotic man.”
I leaned down to kiss him. For a moment his lips were unyielding, but then he responded with something close to his usual enthusiasm. Even so, it was a long time before either of us slept.
~~~~~
If I’d thought the forest was dreary and dispiriting, the open country we came to now was worse. It was uphill, for a start, which made it even more of a trudge, and as we walked, the land became increasingly broken, with unexpected fissures and odd rocky outcrops. There were no more fallen trees to negotiate, but there were just as many thorn bushes, and even more widespread bogs. Well, they might have been streams or lakes, it was hard to tell, but my feet were just as soaked.
It started to rain, as well, to add to our misery. We’d long since exhausted our interest in the unfolding countryside or the odd birds and plants we saw here, so mostly we plodded along in silence, Ly ahead, confidently picking a route, then me trailing behind, and Arran at the back. That was a change, too. Up to now, Arran had often walked with Ly, plying him with questions about the landmarks we saw, but Ly had answered vaguely. Questions about his people were deflected, in his usual way. I still couldn’t decide whether he was intentionally secretive, or whether he really didn’t have definitive answers.
The rain got worse as the afternoon wore on. Even the eagles had vanished from our view, settled on a crag some distance away.
“We will make camp early tonight,” Ly said. “There is a sheltered spot down this way.”
We’d been working our way steadily around a low hill, but now we turned aside and headed into a boulder-strewn gully. As a potential campsite, it didn’t look promising, so it wasn’t a surprise when Ly led us on and downwards, and then aside into another, wider, gully. But when that opened into a broad canyon, almost entirely taken up by a rushing stream, I began to wonder.
Arran stopped with a huff of annoyance. “Hey, Ly!”
He stopped, turning to face us.
“Is it much further?”
“I do not know,” he said. Spinning round, he set off again.
“Fine,” Arran muttered. “Don’t tell me, then.”
The canyon swerved first one way, then another, the walls rising ever higher on either side. But on the second swerve, floods had carved out an overhang of rock, not quite a cave but roomy enough to provide shelter for the three of us.
“We will camp here,” Ly said. “There are trees further on for firewood, and a patch of hill berries just beyond that. We will need stones from the river for the firepit.”
Silently, we split up to do the camp chores. The rain meant it took an age to get a fire going, and by the time Ly had found some rodents and eggs to cook, I was starving. I sat dispiritedly against the back wall of the overhang, fingers idly playing with the sandy soil at its base. In Bennamore, there was a tingle of magic in the soil, but here it was empty and inert. My clothes clung damply to me, chilling me to the bone. So I reached out for some of Ly’s magic. Just a little, something to warm me up.
He looked up at once. He always knew when I took magic from him. “You must be hungry, Princess. Have some dried meat – or would you prefer cheese? Arran has brought some fresh berries.”
I couldn’t summon the energy to move, so I just shook my head.
Ly was there at once, crouched down beside me. “Are you unwell?”
That brought Arran over, too, dropping the pile of wood he’d been chopping and stacking. “Drina? What is it, sweetheart?”
It was so long since I’d felt that way that I almost failed to recognise it. The tiredness, the lassitude and behind all of that, the gnawing desire for magic. I’d been taking small amounts from Ly as we walked, but it wasn’t enough. He was so overflowing with power, yet when I reached out my mind for it, only tiny amounts filtered through to me.
“I need magic,” I whispered. “Please…” How I hated begging for it, like an infant crying for milk. Yet my need was just as great. Without it, I would weaken and perhaps die, eventually.
“I am not preventing you from taking whatever you want,” he said in surprise. “At Lakeside… yes, I did not wish to lose my power, and you had no need of it then, so I kept it tight within me. But since we left Kingswell, I have not done so. You may take what you wish.”
Again I tried, but only the merest trickle came through. A tear coursed down my cheek. “I can’t… It isn’t working. Will you touch me? Please?”
Ly’s face softened, and he stretched his hand towards my face. So close! But then he stopped, his face etched with anxiety.
“By the gods, Ly!” Arran said. “What is the matter with you? She needs your help, can you not see that?”
Still he hesitated.
“Please!” I said again.
“I do not know… what will happen when I touch you,” he said. “Do you want to try it anyway?”
I knew what he meant, that we might be drawn in by the magic again, the way it had happened when we first met. My need for magic combined with his innate power was an explosive mixture, and the results had been traumatic for both of us, forcing us to couple against our will. He hadn’t touched me once since our Lakeside coupling. Yet what could I do? The only alternative was to return to Bennamore, and the sources of magic there, which would mean abandoning our mission to find the new byan shar.
I looked at Arran, but he was still glaring at Ly. “By the gods, you make such a performance out of
everything. You tell us nothing, you lead us all round the world and everything has to be done your way, because you are the great byan shar, and we are nothing and nobody, apparently. And here we are, we have followed you to the far side of nowhere, we have done everything you wanted and now Drina is sick and you are quibbling about helping her? What sort of a man are you, anyway? She is your wife, by the gods! Do you not care?”
Ly jumped up and hissed in Arran’s face, “Do not dare to speak so to me!”
“I will speak to you however you like,” Arran began, but I waved a hand feebly at them.
“Please,” I whispered. “You mustn’t fight.” Tears trickled down my face.
Instantly, they knelt beside me, one either side, and Arran took my hand. “Sorry, so sorry, my sweet. I think this rain is wearing me down. That and… other things.” Another glare at Ly.
I’d never seen so much tension between them. I supposed it had always been there, but having separate rooms within the apartment had helped. Here there was no avoiding the issue, but, as always, the two men had to sort out their own differences.
Ly was flushed, his lips tightly compressed. “I am sorry to distress you, princess, but I cannot touch you until we have resolved the question of… what happens afterwards.”
I was too exhausted to work out his meaning, but Arran said gruffly, “Oh. I see.” He touched Ly lightly on one arm. “She needs your help, Ly. Do whatever you have to do.”
“Even if…?”
Arran shrugged, with a slight smile. “It is about your turn anyway.”
There was no answering smile from Ly – he was such a serious man – but he nodded, and, with just one finger, stroked my cheek.
His magic blazed into me like fire. I closed my eyes, letting it wash through me, warming my flesh and lifting my spirits. A giggle escaped me. After a while, I became aware that the flow had stopped, and opened my eyes. Ly was kneeling in front of me, smiling, head tipped to one side.
“Do you feel better, Princess?”
I nodded, with another giggle bursting from me, like a hiccup. But I wasn’t compelled to leap onto him, nor he onto me, it seemed. That was a relief.
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