Tremaine stepped in front of her and pulled her into his arms. He murmured into her hair, “Anything I can do to help?”
“No.” Liz leaned into him a moment before taking a step back. Her expression had gone blank. She hadn’t resorted to that in years, and he felt like hell because he couldn’t even reassure her that the bastard was dead.
He swept her hair behind her ear, and murmured. “Come on Liz, we should go.”
“I know.” She put on a brave smile and followed him down to his car. The ride was silent. She was brooding, and he was too busy feeling guilty to say much. Then he saw Robert’s Lexus and bit back a groan.
The night was about to plummet right into the shitter when she caught on.
* * * *
Liz eyed the silver Lexus with a sneer. It was something Robert would drive, but that was ridiculous. He never once called, never once showed up in twenty-one fucking years. And she still missed him so damned bad she didn’t know if she would fall into his arms or run away crying.
She didn’t trust herself around Robert after nearly killing him. Leaving was the right decision, at least until she could do a little healing, but her heart never fully healed.
There were days she wished she could have Robert erase every last one of her memories. Maybe she wouldn’t wake up crying over the hole he left in her heart, or worse, screaming when she was sober and the dreams played back everything James took from her.
Forcing away every last thought of Robert, she stalked toward the door. At least until her hand brushed the silver paint and her knees gave out as images of Robert in this very car played through her mind.
Tremaine was right there to catch her. He hauled her against his body. “Shh, Liz. It’s okay.”
She shoved him away. “You knew. You fucking knew,” she cried. “Why tonight?”
His eyes narrowed and he stepped closer. “You’re going to have to listen to him. I know you don’t want to, doll. Trust me on this. You know I wouldn’t lie to you.”
“Shit, shit, shit,” she cried, still trying to back away, but Tremaine banded his arms around her waist, lifting her off her feet.
Memory slammed down on her.
She was twelve, and had just finished her chores. After putting the broom away, she turned and Sinclair wrapped his arm around her waist, picking her up as he turned and pinned her against the wall.
She screamed, but his hand covered her mouth as his curse flowed through her. All the beatings flooded her memory, the pain flashing though her body. That was the night he took her innocence.
Liz panicked, trying to twist away. She knew she couldn’t rein in her magic when the past haunted her. That terrified her beyond anything.
“No, not like this, no.” Her voice broke, but he held on.
“It’s me, Liz. I’ve got you. You know I won’t hurt you.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” she whispered. Calming down was easier said than done, but she tried for his sake. Her heart was racing, her breath coming in gulps, and she couldn’t get away without hurting Trem which she refused to do.
He took her chin, forcing her gaze to his. “I don’t know the whole story Liz, but James is alive, and Robert is terrified for you.”
“Put me down, just put me down,” she squeaked out, trying to force back the rush of magic that wanted to burst free.
There was a pop and she felt the shift of air behind her. She went frantic, flailing and thrashing. Robert pressed in on her, trapping her between both of them. “Let me go,” Liz screamed. “I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
“Liz, listen to me, it’s bad, it’s really bad,” Robert’s voice was rough like he was upset. He was trembling, and she knew he was right, but she was seconds from losing it completely
His hands wrapped around her waist, his fingers gliding over her belly.
Tears sprang free, leaking down her face. That morning played back through her head. Him dead on the floor because she made a mistake.
“Go, just go. I can’t,” Liz begged on the verge of a breakdown.
Brody and Slater came running out and saw her trapped between the two bigger mages. She knew how it had to look.
Before she could think to say anything, Robert wound his arms around both Tremaine and Liz and took them back to her house in a blink of an eye. The same house, in that same damned dining room.
Tremaine and Robert both backed away leaving her trembling and alone. She turned on Robert, glaring daggers at him. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Scaring the shit out of the Alpha and his Second?”
“Liz,” Robert whispered, anguish bleeding into his dusky blue eyes. “Liz, please listen to me. You told me to go, and I was a fool to believe that was what you wanted. I found the letter.” A sob tore from her before he continued. “I know I’m too late, that’s not why I came, but Emily…,” his voice broke.
He wasn’t there for her. All this time and he still wasn’t there for her. If she wasn’t already beyond shattered she would fade into nothing.
His sister though, whatever happened to Emily had hurt him. That much was obvious. Liz knew Emily was the only family he had left… or not, as the case may be.
What James did to her was bad enough, but what did he do to Emily? Robert’s pain was too much. She wanted to take it away. Without thinking, she stepped toward him, taking his face in her hands as she looked into his eyes. His hands came up to cover hers.
“What did James do?” her voice was soft and tender. He shook his head and she asked, “Is Emily okay?” No matter how much Emily always tore Liz down, she understood why, which was why she ignored it.
Robert shook his head.
“What happened to her, Robert?”
Tears fell down his face. “She’s in bad shape. I think James cursed her. I don’t know what to do.” He closed his eyes. “I found her journal. He’s coming for you, and Jarvis is involved. He wants your power, he wants to tear it from your body, Liz. I can’t let him do that.”
“Shh, shh, Robert. I’m sorry about Emily, really I am. We’ll take care of James, and we’ll figure out what to do for her,” she promised. There was nothing she wouldn’t do to take his pain from him. “What can I do?” she murmured.
Robert wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a tight embrace. He cried into her hair. His embrace felt like home, and even though she knew it would tear her apart later, she couldn’t pull away. “I can’t lose you to him. I won’t let him touch you again. I’m so sorry Liz. I didn’t know she brought him back, I didn’t know she healed him. I didn’t know.”
“It’s okay, baby,” she murmured, rubbing his back as Tremaine came up beside them to put his arm around each of them. It made her feel a little safer, but if James was alive, she wasn’t sure anyone was safe. “Robert, we’ll figure this out.” Even if it shredded her soul, she would endure it to keep him safe and kill James once and for all.
Her phone rang. “Shit, I need to take this. We don’t need the wolves hunting you down.” She stepped away and hit talk. “Hey Slater.”
“You okay, Liz?”
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
“I know that neither Robert, nor Tremaine would ever hurt you, but you were freaking the fuck out, and then you were gone. Talk to me.”
“They won’t.” Not physically, but she didn’t think she would survive when Robert walked out of her life this time. She sighed heavily. “We’re okay, and we’ll be back to the party soon. Robert has some terrible news, and we have shit to deal with.”
“You know, we’re here for you if you need it. You have friends here. Whatever is going on, we’ll be behind you,” Slater promised.
“I appreciate that, but I’m not sure you can help. Tell everyone we’ll be there soon.”
“Right. See you then.” Slater hung up and she stared at the ground, trying to figure out how to cope with the news that her worst nightmare was back and that the man who let her walk away was going to rip her open all over again.
* *
* *
Robert hated himself for hurting Liz, the one woman he had given his heart to. She was so completely selfless, and he realized for the first time that was why she left. She was afraid of hurting him again.
Robert didn’t understand how Liz could forgive Emily. His sister had done everything in her power to send Liz away, and Emily may have changed her mind about her, but Liz didn’t know that. Then, his sister brought back the man who finally broke what Robert and Liz shared.
Liz was a hundred times better than him. She forgave Emily instantly, when he couldn’t. Hell, she never even blamed Emily.
She stood there, staring out the window with no expression on her face. He knew that look. She was hurting, but hiding pain.
Robert moved to her and tipped her face up. “Liz, what is it?”
“Your sister,” she whispered.
He growled “If she hadn’t brought James back, we wouldn’t be in this position.” Liz flinched and looked away. He wrapped his hands around her shoulders, but she wouldn’t meet his gaze. “The only one I’m worried about is you,” Robert admitted.
Her eyes flashed to his, and there was heat in her words. “She’s your sister. She may not be my favorite person, but I would never wish James on anyone. She doesn’t deserve being cursed.”
“She brought James back. James, the same man who broke something between us and made you walk away from me.” His voice broke and a tear ran down his face.
“He’s not the one who nearly killed you. I thought you were him. I couldn’t tell after…,”She shook her head, her eyes slamming shut as her tears trickled down her face. “I’ve learned to strip illusions without fail, but I’ll never forgive myself for what I did that morning.”
Tremaine moved behind her, pulling her back against his chest. “Liz, you can’t blame yourself, doll. After what he did, anyone would have panicked. The important part is that you brought Robert back. You saved him. No one else.”
Her hands clenched into fists. “But I didn’t stop James. I went after him, and I couldn’t stop him. He’s still alive.”
Robert took her face in his hands and dried her tears. “Stop. I don’t hate you, Liz. I’ll never hate you. There was blood everywhere. I was so scared. I should have woken you first. You’ve always had such bad nightmares.”
She laughed bitterly. “He ruined me, Robert. He ruined us.” She took a shaky breath and then walked to the bathroom. The door slammed shut and then the water came on.
Robert turned to Tremaine. “Why didn’t you tell me she was such a mess?” It wasn’t an accusation.
Tremaine snorted. “Yeah, because that’s exactly what she wants everyone to think, and I did tell you she needed you. I told you she missed you.”
“She’s afraid of me.” Robert pinched the bridge of his nose. “Of me.” He wanted to scream because it was his fault.
“No. She’s afraid of herself.” Tremaine glanced toward the bathroom door. “She could have killed you, Robert. She nearly did. She blames herself.”
“She shouldn’t.”
“Yeah, well you and I both know she takes the blame too damned much. Sort of like some other kid I know.” Tremaine jabbed his finger into Robert’s chest.
That was the problem. It was Robert’s fault. He could have done a hundred things differently and they wouldn’t have been in that position.
* * * *
Tremaine walked away as he plowed his hands through his hair. As much as Liz needed Robert and vice versa, it was going to kill him to see them together when things had been slowly falling into place for Liz and Tremaine.
Who am I fooling? Liz is never going to stop loving Robert. And who in their right fucking mind would ever stop loving Liz?
He knew she was a mess, but a beautifully broken mess who had picked up the pieces, glued herself together and carried on to spite everyone. Tremaine loved that about Liz. She never stopped and she never gave up. Leaving Robert had been the hardest thing she had ever done, and out of some twisted misguided notion, she thought she was doing the right thing.
Tonight was going to be an epic disaster. There were too many things that were bound to come out, and no easy way to do it.
“I’m such a fool,” Robert’s voice was tortured. “I’ve torn her apart, and she must hate me after staying away so long.
“Shut the fuck up,” Tremaine whispered urgently. “I’ve told you for years that you needed to get your ass in gear and fix shit. She’s been hurt too damned bad to come to you. She doesn’t think she’s worthy of your love. She is, always was, but she doesn’t get that.”
“How do I fix this, Tremaine? You’ve been there for her for twenty-one years. How do I make up for being a fool? How do I make her understand how sorry I am for not fighting for her?” Robert’s fists clenched. “I did as she asked even though it broke my heart, but I thought that’s what she needed.”
Tremaine took a deep breath. They were both so damned stubborn, and in a way they both did the right thing, even if it was exactly opposite of what either one of them needed.
“You’ll fix it, Robert, I know you will. Right now you need to make her see you aren’t leaving for anything. Not ever.” Tremaine knew he wouldn’t, but Liz was going to be harder to convince.
Robert walked to the kitchen to wash his face. At least Liz and Robert could finally work their shit out. It was good, he was happy for them, but it fucking hurt because he had started to believe that he could be what Liz needed.
Liz came back, looking refreshed for the most part. He could see the anguish in her big hazel eyes. Tremaine would wind up carrying her out of the bar.
Robert walked to Liz and Tremaine stepped beside him. “We should go back to the party.”
Her brow arched as she looked to Robert but took his hand. Tremaine grabbed his arm and then they were standing next to the cars.
Liz tipped her head in a slight nod, but her grief had slipped toward anger. She turned then and walked straight to the doors.
Tremaine sighed. “Yup, she’s going to go straight for the Voodoo. You’re not getting anywhere with her tonight.”
Robert’s mouth fell open as his gaze shot to him. “Voodoo? What?”
“Rum, not magic.” Tremaine pushed his fingers through his hair. “Look, she drinks to blackout so she doesn’t have the nightmares. It’s the only thing that keeps them away.”
“Why?” Robert whispered.
“Think about the date, Robert.”
Robert slammed his fist into his car and clenched his jaw. “I never meant to hurt her. I never should have helped Emily that night.”
“You were the only one who could have helped your sister. Emily could not have handled Christian on her own. God knows where he would have wound up. You gave him a chance, and he turned out to be a good kid.”
“But I lost Liz because I couldn’t protect her.”
“No, she doesn’t blame you. So stop.”
Robert shook his head before looking him straight in the eye. “I need to ask you something.”
Tremaine knew the question was coming, and as much as he wanted to avoid it, he nodded.
“Why aren’t you with her? It would take a blind man to miss the way you look at her. God, I see the way she responds to you too. Why aren’t you with her?”
His eyes narrowed to slits. “You’re a damned fool. She’s always been yours. Don’t be stupid and fuck this up again.”
“What if it’s too late? What if it’s you who can make her happy? I wouldn’t take that from either of you, Trem. You have to know that. I’ve always expected her to wind up in your arms, ever since the day I let her walk out of my life.”
“Shut the fuck up. She doesn’t see me that way. Trust me. She’s still in love with your dumb ass. So man up and fix your shit. I want to see you both happy.” Even if it guts me to watch it happen.
Chapter 17
Liz dropped onto an empty stool at the end of the bar and waved to catch Jamie’s attention. She groaned inwa
rdly. Just what I need, to be analyzed by an empath.
One pale brow arched, but there was concern in Jamie’s baby blue eyes. “How you doing, Liz?”
She shook her head, “I need a big glass of Voodoo, since I know you won’t give me the bottle.”
Jamie’s face twisted in a grimace. “Another of those nights?” Then her eyes went wide as she mouthed, “You love two men?”
Her eyes slammed shut as she took a deep breath in and then let it out slowly. When Liz opened her eyes, she glared at Jamie. “Keep out of my fucked up emotions.”
“Habit.” Jamie shrugged, and slid the glass over.
With a snort, she wrapped her hand around her rum, and then gulped it down. Seconds later, she slid the glass back to Jamie.
Fallon leaned against the counter beside her. “You okay, Liz?”
“No, no I’m not. Please do me a favor and make sure your man and Slater know Robert and Tremaine did nothing wrong.” She let out a heavy sigh. “Robert had some bad news to tell me.”
Fallon gave her a long look. “They know. Jess told them it was fine.”
Jamie pushed her glass back, full to the brim and tossed the empty bottle. “Good thing Jess ordered more Voodoo. You seem to be trying to drown yourself.”
Liz gave her a nod and took another long drink. “Please leave it be. Tonight is not the night to talk about anything. Just keep this coming, and put in an order for a cheeseburger and fries. I need something in my stomach so I don’t get sick when all this hits me.” She guzzled the rest down and pushed the glass back to Jamie.
“You know,” Fallon started.
Liz cut her off. “I can’t. I just can’t.” Talking about any of it was only going to make the nightmares worse. She didn’t think there was enough alcohol to drown out the memories, especially with Robert there. “Just please tell me Christian’s not on his way over. I need to get my shit together before I wish the kid a happy birthday.”
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