The sanctuary of Fallon’s apartment was looking better and better because she really didn’t think she could deal if she had to pick. Choosing neither was so much safer for her already battered heart.
Pretending it didn’t happen wasn’t an option.
And how the hell am I not hung-over?
She’d had enough alcohol to put her into a coma, and yet she felt as sober as ever, hence the nightmares.
“Liz, don’t you dare shut down on us,” Robert demanded as he strolled into the bathroom like he owned the place.
Her eyes narrowed at him. “I’m not shutting down. I’m allowed a shower. I’m always sweaty and shaky after the nightmares. Besides, last night… well, I don’t know what that was.” Yeah, she did, hot as hell, but it couldn’t happen again, it couldn’t work. It was a fluke, an act of insanity, or just dumb luck.
“You better not regret it. You were the one who kept Tremaine with us.” Robert’s hand was on his hip as he glared right back.
God, he was so gorgeous that her mouth watered.
And then Tremaine stepped into the room, just as naked as Robert, but he wore a sexy little grin. “Oh, she doesn’t regret that part. She doesn’t trust herself with her feelings, or with where this is going.”
“No shit,” she growled back. “Look, can we discuss this after breakfast. I’m not kicking anyone out, I’m not shutting you down. I just need to think a little. Okay? Besides, we need to deal with James. Right?”
“Fine,” Robert sighed and closed his eyes. “Your stomach is growling so we need to get you fed.”
“Fuck, I’m an adult. I already mentioned breakfast before the shower. I needed a fucking shower.” She rinsed off and climbed out to find a towel, but each of them grabbed one and took over drying her body.
“Hey,” she squealed, “I can do that.”
Tremaine pulled her back and nipped her ear. “Stop arguing. We want to take care of you, and make sure you aren’t going to run away when we all know this is right.
Damn him. Damn them. Why couldn’t they let her be? The more they played this game, the worse she would break.
Holding on to her anger, she snarled, “You going to pick out my clothes? Tell me what to wear?” she challenged.
Tremaine licked up the column of her throat as her head fell back on his shoulder.
She squeezed her eyes shut. “Stop that,” she groaned. “I need to go get dressed so I can fix something to eat.”
“No,” Robert growled, more feral than she had ever heard him. Then he pressed into her, shoving her harder against Tremaine who groaned as he pressed his hardened flesh against her ass. Robert lowered his voice. “You can go get dressed, but we’re taking you to Jess’ bar. Jamie made me promise to bring you in so she can make sure you’re all right. She saw you pass out, and Tremaine carry you away.”
“Fine,” she shoved Robert back and slipped out from between them before she started begging for a repeat. She glared back at them before stepping into her room.
They weren’t going to make forgetting easy. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do. Choosing one of them was impossible. They would only find her if she ran.
It was time to be an adult, and deal with her shit, but she felt fragile. With a sigh she pulled on a pair of cargo pants and a loose t-shirt.
Robert may have worshiped her scars the night before, but they still made her feel damaged and broken. She wanted to hide them.
The water came on, and she wondered if they were both in there. God, how hot would that be?
That was the last thing she needed to think about because she couldn’t keep them both. It couldn’t work no matter how much she needed them, both of them. That meant distancing herself and rebuilding her walls in order to survive.
Lacing up her boots, she pulled a sweater on and combed her hair before sitting on the bed to wait. That only lasted a minute before she stormed into the bathroom and found them drying off.
She shouldn’t have barged in. All she could think of was the night before and how they all fit together.
What a fucking disaster.
“Can we hurry? I’m starving,” and ticked off because she felt really fucking stupid standing there all covered up when they were damp and naked, watching her like they were starved for her.
Tremaine wore his cocky little grin, but Robert rolled his eyes. Man, when he remembered how much they always argued, he was going back to South Carolina whether or not James was dealt with.
One corner of Robert’s delectable mouth lifted. “Don’t worry, love. We’ll pull some clothes on and we can go.”
“Good.” She turned and marched out to find her keys.
* * * *
The door slammed shut and Robert’s eyes narrowed. “I forgot how stubborn she always was.”
“But you wouldn’t trade her for the world.” Tremaine glanced over at Robert with an arched brow.
“No,” he sighed. “I’ve missed her too much, for too long.” Robert closed his eyes and pushed his fingers through his wet hair. “She thinks I’m going to get fed up with her and leave. I saw the doubt in her eyes.”
“Then go talk to her, but it’s going to take some time to convince her that you will never leave again.”
“Why didn’t I listen to you?” Robert groaned, but he was going to make things right.
“Don’t ask me.” Tremaine snorted.
He took a quick trip in a blink of his eye to his house across the country. A few minutes later he wore a fresh suit, and had a few changes of clothes before he was once again in her room. He hung the bag in her closet before going to find her.
Liz sat on the counter drinking a bottle of water.
Robert smiled. “You ready, Liz?”
“Yeah.” She rolled her eyes. “Why do you think I snapped at you both?”
He grinned. “You like to be difficult, so maybe it’s a good thing I love you.”
Liz shook her head and looked away. “Look, Robert, it’s been a really long time, and you don’t know that anymore. Maybe you loved what I was, but it wasn’t enough.”
That was a knife twisting in his heart. He closed the distance and took her face in his hands, looking deep into her eyes. “Why do you say that?”
Tears filled her eyes. “If you loved me, you would have fought for me. You didn’t. You let me walk away, Robert. You didn’t even try, so you must not love me as much as you thought you did.”
“I love you so damned much that I did what you told me to do even though it shattered my heart.” Her eyes closed. He stepped between her legs, and brushed a gentle kiss over her trembling lips. “I love you, Liz, so much it shattered me to let you go, but you told me that’s what you needed and I gave it to you like a fool. You told me to let you go, not to follow, that was what you wanted and needed.” His voice broke and he put his forehead against hers. “Every day since then has been hell. I never stopped loving you, never stopped needing you, I never stopped wishing you still loved me, even as I watched from a distance.”
When she finally looked up at him, her voice was so small. “Really?”
“Really, love. I’m not leaving you again. I can’t, not now. No matter how many times you beg me to leave, I’ve learned my lesson and I’m not leaving your side.”
Her tears spilled over. “And what about Tremaine?” She closed her eyes, and he heard the desperation in her voice. “I won’t shut him out. I…,” she only hesitated a second, “I love him every bit as much as I love you. I think I always have. I can’t let him go for you, even if you walking away would break me beyond mending. I can’t have one of you without the other, not anymore.”
Tremaine stepped in beside Robert. His voice was soft. “You do, Liz?” Robert looked over to find him looking as lost as Liz had only a moment before.
A sad smile lifted her lips as she nodded. He took her hands. “I’m not leaving you, Liz. Hell, I’ve never left you since I found you. I’ll always be here for you.”
“See, we aren’t letting you go. You have nothing to worry about.” Robert nodded toward the door. “Now let’s get some food in you before your stomach starts to growl again.”
There was a hint of a smile on her mouth. “Good, I’m starving.”
* * * *
Tremaine locked up while Liz climbed in the driver’s seat of her Land Cruiser. Robert grabbed something from his car, so Tremaine took shotgun. His eyes swept to her as he stole her hand with a grin.
Liz met his gaze with a smile. “It’s true. I love you, Trem.”
“I love you too, doll. Maybe I should have said it sooner.”
Her eyes slid away. “I thought you knew, but didn’t feel the same. I thought maybe our circumstances were all wrong in your head.”
He shook his head. “It wasn’t that. I wasn’t sure what you felt for me, and I knew you couldn’t be whole without Robert,” he admitted. “It’s why I’ve always pushed the two of you together.
“Maybe it’s selfish, but I need you too.”
He pulled her hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to her palm. “You have me.”
Robert climbed into the back seat and squeezed Liz’s shoulder before sitting back to buckle his belt.
Liz took her hand back and backed out of the driveway.
“Will we be able to plan at In 2 Deep?” Robert asked.
“Yeah,” Liz answered. “I can cast a confusion spell and no one will actually hear what we say.”
“That will work in a busy bar?” Robert asked thoughtfully.
Liz harrumphed, “It’s the same principle as my hiding spots.”
Robert nodded. “You’re the only one I know who can create one.”
She shrugged.
Tremaine grunted. “She has several, and even though she showed you how to access them, she won’t show me.”
“You have a habit of getting rid of my Voodoo,” she snapped back.
“Only when I know you’ve drunk enough at the bar to put a normal person into a coma.”
She sighed. “It’s the only thing that keeps the nightmares at bay. Remember, I’m a mess.”
Tremaine reached over and twined his fingers with hers. “You aren’t a mess. You have a rough patch every year, but you always get through it. Last night was a lot to take in, and honestly, it could have gone worse.”
“Could have gone worse?” She growled at Trem and glanced back at Robert. “I am sorry, Robert. I don’t blame you for having to leave that night. I really don’t.”
“You should,” Robert muttered.
“No. I knew it was James and I gave him my back like a fool. I should have blasted him out the door and locked the wards down.”
Robert shook his head. “He would have still come for you. For some damned reason, he always had his sights set on you.”
“My magic is more potent. He wanted it. He went dark in case you hadn’t figured it out.” She shrugged. “It’s not your fault either. It kills me to know that I nearly killed you because I couldn’t tell you apart after your brother took our baby.”
“I know, but you shouldn’t blame yourself. You weren’t awake, you didn’t know, and I scared you. I had no clue what was wrong, but I saw the blood and rushed to you.”
“No, I wasn’t awake. I was still in so much pain and grieving, I reacted without thinking. I can’t forgive myself for what I did.”
“You need to because I never once blamed you. I have you now. I’m not going anywhere.”
She nodded, but wouldn’t shift her gaze from the road.
“My biggest regret is that I let you walk out that door.” There was a desperate quality to Robert’s voice as he reached forward to wrap his hand around Liz’s shoulder. “I didn’t know about the rest, and if I had, I never would have let you go.”
“Shut up,” she snarled. “I’m the idiot who was afraid to be around you. Shit, your heart stopped, Robert. You weren’t breathing. I lost it. Sure, I healed you, but those handprints….” She bit her lip and shook her head. “You could have let Emily fix you the rest of the way. I tried, I couldn’t do better. You did what I asked, and I’m the one who should have fixed it, but I didn’t know how.”
“Stop, both of you.” Tremaine’s eyes flashed first to Liz, and then Robert. “Either one of you could have done things differently. And I may be a selfish bastard because I’m glad you didn’t. If you had, I would still be loving Liz with no hope of hearing the words on her lips.” Tremaine looked back at Robert with wide eyes. “Sorry, that makes me sound like an asshole, but to be fair, I tried for years to get both of you to man up and fix your shit. It’s not like I planned it this way, nor did I ever think we’d be here.”
“I know, Trem. I get it,” Robert half smiled.
“I was willing to love Liz from a distance my entire life, but now I can’t go back to how it was.” He closed his eyes and sat back in his seat.
Liz reached over and caressed Tremaine’s face. “I know you didn’t. I don’t think I could have Robert without you now.”
“You don’t have to,” Robert told her, locking gazes with Tremaine. “We’re where we need to be.”
She parked the Land Cruiser and turned in her seat. “We have a sadistic, dark mage coming. Let’s focus on the sick fuck before we discuss us.” Liz climbed out of the Land cruiser without waiting for them.”
“It shouldn’t surprise me that she never stops to relax,” Robert muttered.
“Not with a looming threat. What did you expect? Her to get all mushy when you waltzed back twenty-one years later?”
“No, honestly no. I wish I could spend some time making up for everything.”
“You’re here for her now. That’s the important part.”
Chapter 20
Jamie looked up as Liz stepped into In 2 Deep. The concern melted from her baby blue eyes as she bounced around the counter with her blond ponytail swinging.
She was too damned chipper as she hurried over to Liz. “Stop scowling. I can read you. I know you left with both of them and you’re happy, horny and in love. So, what the hell happened?”
Liz blinked at Jamie. “Can we not go there right now?” Shit, Liz was blushing and that wasn’t normal.
“Told you that you were feeling both of them, and from the look on your face, you’ll be feeling a whole lot more.”
“Fuck off, I’m not going there. Just let me sit down and order. I’m starving. I was sick last night.”
“Not this morning. You aren’t even hungover,” Jess giggled impishly.
Liz plopped down in a seat and glared back. “Menu, please.” She was done talking about it in the bar.
Grumbling as she walked away, Jamie grabbed a menu from the bar. Tremaine and Robert slid into the booth across from her.
Liz laid her head down on the table. She no longer wanted to ditch both of them, but she wasn’t sure how to deal with their… relationship in public. It wasn’t that she was ashamed, she wasn’t, but she wasn’t big on PDA, and she wasn’t trying to flaunt it.
Jamie dropped into the booth beside her. “I’m right, aren’t I?”
“Yes, for the love of God, yes. Now drop it before Lincoln comes over and turns purple, because he’s coming this way.” The kid was beyond sheltered. Kid was the wrong word, he was older than Christian by a good five or six years.
Jamie laughed out loud. “He may be a little disappointed. He was working up the courage to ask you out.”
Liz’s gaze snapped to Jamie. “Seriously, don’t. I’m way too old for the kid.”
“He’s twenty-seven, and it’s not about age. It’s not like you look yours.” Jamie snickered. “Besides, there’s nothing wrong with being a cougar when you’re as hot as you are.”
Liz sat up and crossed her arms over her chest. “Seriously, drop it. I can’t get over the age difference.”
“Oh, come on, it’s not any worse than Christian and his fantasies about you,” Tremaine teased.
Liz cringed. “Okay, seriously, that
creeps me out. He’s like family.”
Robert’s eyes went wide as he turned to Tremaine. “My nephew fantasizes about Liz?”
“Uh, yeah.” Trem chuckled. “He’s told me all about it.”
“Can we not go there?” Liz pleaded. “He’s perfect with Delilah, and aren’t two pushy men enough in my life?”
“I knew it,” Jamie squealed. “I want details.”
Lincoln coughed, and Liz’s gaze snapped up to find his face magenta, his pale green eyes wide, and his mouth hanging open like a damned fool.
“You are such a prude.” Jamie shook her head, a smirk twisting her lips. “You just need someone to ride you into tomorrow.”
“Sorry, Lincoln.” Liz sighed. “I tried to spare you, but they won’t shut up.”
He nodded dumbly and she ordered. The guys did the same and Lincoln left the table, still blushing.
“Details, woman,” Jamie insisted.
“Fine,” Liz grumbled. “Nightmares woke me up, I puked. Tremaine started the shower, and then things got steamy. I never expected what happened. I was a crying mess, covered in vomit, but with the three of us in the shower things got heated.”
Jamie’s brow arched as she took another look at Robert and Tremaine. “Yeah, I’ll admit it. I’m jealous. You’ve got the best of both worlds. Rough and tumble with smooth and suave.”
“Robert can be rough and tumble,” Liz blurted out with a grin before slapping her hand over her mouth.
“Do tell,” Jamie pleaded.
“Go get your own man.” Liz nudged Jamie’s shoulder.
“I know. I’m waiting for someone I can’t resist.” Jamie sighed, looking away.
“What about Preston? I thought you couldn’t resist his cocky grin. I haven’t seen him around in what… two months?”
Jamie sighed and looked away. “He finally figured out he was in love with Amethyst. He couldn’t be with me after that. Besides, it wasn’t love, just a good time while it lasted.”
“Sorry. You two had a good thing.’
“Yeah, but it’s not the same as what you have.” Jamie got up. “I’m fine though. I’ll know my man when I see him.”
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