by Radclyffe
*
Candace, wearing a tight pink T-shirt, baggy jeans, and strap-sandals, flopped onto the nearly threadbare sofa in front of the open windows in Bren’s West Philadelphia Victorian and propped her feet up on the steamer trunk that stood in for a coffee table. She’d arrived with her blond curls still damp from the shower half an hour after Bren had called.
“God,” Candace sighed, balancing a glass of wine on her stomach. “Sometimes I wish I still lived here. I think I might have had some of the best sex of my life on this sofa.”
“Thank you for that image,” Bren said, curling up with a cup of coffee in an equally worn armchair across from the sofa. It wasn’t yet noon and a bit early for her and wine. She had changed out of her holey sweats into a decent pair before Liz had arrived, but hadn’t bothered with shoes.
“Well it’s no secret,” Candace scoffed. “You walked in on me in the throes enough times.”
“I kept my eyes closed.” Bren grinned mischievously. “Most of the time.”
Sometimes, Bren agreed with Candace about turning back the clock. The three of them had rented the house for four years until Liz and Candace could afford to move into their own places. Bren had purchased the house then and renovated it to suit her needs. She’d kept some of their old furniture for her office, a tall-ceilinged room with walnut floors and deep bay windows, a fireplace on one wall, and a view of the brick-walled rear garden. She made enough money from her book royalties that she could have re-furnished the entire house, but she didn’t want to. The office, where she slipped into another world to write and dream, was her sanctuary and her favorite room in the whole house. Sometimes she’d look up from her computer, expecting to see Candace wrapped up in her latest flame on the sofa and Liz bent over a lawbook, a glass of red wine in one hand. Seeing the empty room always hurt a little until she remembered they would always be there.
“Some memories never go away,” Bren teased.
Carrying a glass of iced tea, Liz sat down next to Candace and nudged her with her knee. “And you still hog the couch. Move over.”
Candace shifted an inch and patted Liz’s thigh. “So let’s hear it. I can’t imagine how you managed to get yourself into trouble since we just saw you…” She glanced at her Piaget. “Thirteen hours ago.”
“I won’t ask what you’ve been doing for the last thirteen hours,” Liz grumbled.
“I’ll be happy to tell you. In detail. But you first.”
“You don’t have to tell us,” Bren cut in. “You’ve got a love bite on your neck.”
“I don’t. God damn it. Where? I told her not to…” Candace broke off, her eyes narrowing as she lasered in on Bren. “That is not funny, Brenda Louise.”
“Sorry.” Bren glanced apologetically at Liz. “So what happened?”
Candace had made Liz promise on the phone not to say anything until she arrived, and the wait hadn’t helped Liz clear up her confusion. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“Okay,” Candace said brightly. “Let’s start with rough and rowdy Reilly. Would that be a good guess?”
“She isn’t.” Liz thought of how Reilly always seemed to know exactly what she needed without her even asking. Without her even knowing, sometimes. “She’s tender and thoughtful.” At Candace’s raised eyebrows, Liz said, “I mean it. She’s a lot more gentle than she looks.”
When Candace feigned a yawn, Bren kicked the bottom of her foot. “Cut it out.”
“Okay, sorry. Sorry,” Candace said, looking not the least bit chagrined. “But really—with the way she came on last night? All sweaty and aggressive and competitive?”
“She is,” Liz said, “but that’s not all she is.” She sipped her tea and added quietly, “This morning she kissed me.”
“Wow,” Bren said, genuinely surprised.
“Really,” Candace said coolly. “And just how did that come about.”
“Cand,” Bren said with a bit of heat in her voice, “do you think you can be quiet long enough for Liz to tell us?”
Candace shot her a look, but obediently pressed her lips together.
“After breakfast I—”
“You spent the night with her?” Candace shot upright.
“No,” Liz said patiently. “I drove her home last night because she had too much to drink. When I offered to bring her back to her car this morning, she wanted to take me out to breakfast. Are you with me so far?”
Candace made a hurry up motion with her hand.
“Well, that’s it really. I drove her to her car and she kissed me.” Liz shrugged. “I guess it really isn’t that big of a deal.”
“Except for the fact that you hardly know her,” Bren pointed out reasonably.
“And she’s not your type,” Candace added quickly.
“And you just broke up with Julia—the bitch,” Bren chimed in.
“And you’re pregnant,” Candace said darkly.
Liz sighed. “Okay. Reasonable points.”
She pulled her legs up onto the old, nappy sofa and curled her arms around them. Resting her cheek against her knees, she wished she were back in law school, still living here, when everything had seemed so critical but in retrospect had been far simpler than she’d ever realized. Candace had been fresh-faced and so filled with life and spirit that even when she was breaking hearts, including her own, Liz couldn’t help but love her. Bren had always been there, sturdy and solid and strong. She was the rock, despite being the smallest of all of them in size. And Liz had known just what she wanted in life. A career, a partner, a family. It had never occurred to her that the things she wanted would be at odds.
“Was it a good kiss?” Candace asked grudgingly.
“Terrific,” Liz muttered.
“Do you like her?” Bren asked
“Yes.” That was one thing Liz was certain of. She knew there were things about Reilly she didn’t know, almost certainly important things. Things about Annie, for sure. Whenever Reilly spoke of her something dark, something more than the pain of loss, surfaced in her eyes. But even though Liz knew there were secrets, she trusted her.
“Let’s look at this logically,” Bren suggested.
“Have you ever considered that kind of approach might be the reason you never accept a date?” Candace said. “There’s nothing logical about lust. You see, you want, ergo, you screw.”
Liz laughed wryly and Bren smiled.
“That’s your formula,” Bren replied. “Some of us actually think about things like who and why and what happens the next day.”
Candace tilted her head contemplatively. “That sounds a lot like pouring cold water on flames to control a fire. If you’re not careful, all you end up with is ashes.”
“Maybe.” Bren couldn’t disagree too strongly, because she had a feeling under the right circumstances she just might take Candace’s route. If she’d had the opportunity to take the blonde’s place in the bathroom a few nights before, if she could have been the nameless woman dictating her needs, controlling the events, she would have done it.
“You know,” Liz said wearily, “I wish I could be more like you, Cand. I actually even thought about you this morning, when I was kissing Reilly and what I really wanted to do was tear her clothes off—or have her tear off mine. I knew you would do it, and love it, and I wished I could too.”
“You wanted to tear her clothes off?” Candace sounded stunned.
Liz nodded. “For a few seconds, yeah. I did. God, she’s got a beautiful mouth.”
“Uh-oh,” Bren murmured.
“What?” Liz said, turning to Bren.
“I never heard you say anything like that about Julia.”
“Sure I did. When we first met. I said she was hot and sexy and—”
“No you didn’t,” Bren and Candace said simultaneously.
“Well, I’m sure I meant to.”
Candace ran the tip of her open-toed sandal up and down Liz’s calf. “You did used to say that I had a great tongue.”
“In the positive column,” Bren interjected, “what do we have besides the fact that she’s…ah…got a beautiful mouth.” Silently, she contemplated the phrase and found it perfect. She couldn’t wait to find a place for it in her next chapter.
“She looks really good when she sweats,” Candace supplied helpfully.
“She’s smart and listens and…” Liz laughed. “She turns me on.”
“Debit column?”
Liz sighed. “I just came out of a long, complicated, unsatisfying relationship with Julia, and that’s not even really over. And of course,” she placed her hand on her abdomen and smiled crookedly, “there’s the little matter of Junior or Junior-ess.”
“So what do we have,” Bren said thoughtfully. “You’re attracted to her but there are complications.” She glanced at Liz’s hand where it still lay on Liz’s belly. “That pretty much changes everything, doesn’t it?”
“It certainly does,” Liz admitted.
“What are you going to do?” Bren asked.
“The only thing I know for sure is that I’m going to apologize and explain to her why I cut and ran in the middle of a kiss I let go too far.”
“You don’t have to see her again, you know,” Candace said.
“Yes I do. She kissed me first, but I kissed her back. That’s reason enough to explain.” Liz felt better for having made the decision. “There’s a game tomorrow. I’ll talk to her afterwards. Parker is probably playing, Candace.”
“Probably,” Candace said casually, “but I don’t plan on seeing her again. We had our night of ecstasy. I’ll go to keep you company, though.”
“Me too,” Bren said, wondering if Jae, as she now routinely thought of the dark-haired stranger, would be there.
Liz took Candace’s hand and stretched the other out to Bren, who took it.
“Thanks. I think I’m going to need you two tomorrow.”
Chapter Eleven
Liz tucked the Audi into a narrow spot between a Hummer and a Harley hog. “Gotta love lesbians,” she murmured.
“I’m doing my part,” Candace said from the passenger seat.
Bren leaned forward between the bucket seats. “Everybody’s on the field. Did we miss the start?”
“It’s warm-ups, I think,” Liz replied, cutting the engine and checking her watch. She’d wanted to arrive early enough to talk to Reilly. She hadn’t been able to think of anything else for the last twenty-four hours, and she’d slept poorly. Unfortunately, traffic had been backed up along the River Drive because of an early evening concert at the open air theatre in the park, and it had taken longer than anticipated to reach Belmont Plateau. Now, cranky and anxious to find Reilly, she exited the car and shaded her eyes as she scanned the playing fields.
“Can you see where the Angels are playing?”
“There’s a team with black jerseys right over there,” Candace pointed to her left.
“I don’t see…no, that’s not them. The Angels’ shirts have white lettering.”
“Parker’s team is straight across from us,” Bren noted.
Candace looked disinterested. “There’s Reilly’s team—on the far side, just down the hill from the building.”
“Right next to the field where Parker’s playing,” Bren added, searching the figures stretched out on the slope behind the playing fields and seated in groups under the scattered trees, hoping to see a familiar stranger.
“I’m going to see if I can catch Reilly before the game,” Liz said, starting onto the grassy expanse that stretched for a quarter of a mile in all directions.
Bren grabbed her arm. “You can’t cut across the fields, not while they’re warming up. You could get hit with a ball or run into by a fielder who isn’t looking where—”
“I can see,” Liz said irritably. “And the last time I checked, my legs were working. I can get out of the way.”
“Bren’s right,” Candace put in. “You need to walk around the outside of the fields.”
“It’ll take an extra ten minutes,” Liz griped.
Bren patted her arm soothingly. “Reilly is going to be here all night.”
“All right,” Liz acquiesced. “Fine. But can we get go—”
“Isn’t that Parker?” Bren asked, indicating two people coming toward them with a large cooler swinging between them.
“Go ahead you two,” Candace said. “I’ll catch up in a minute.”
“Sure?” Liz asked.
Candace shrugged nonchalantly. “Go.”
Liz and Bren waved to Parker, then hurried off.
“Hey,” Parker said, slowing as she drew alongside Candace. “We’ve got cold beer here thanks to Mandy, if you’re ready for one.”
Candace glanced at the young blonde wearing skimpy shorts and a bikini top that barely covered her nipples, who she assumed was Mandy. “Looks like you’ve got a little bit more than beer.”
“Yeah well, maybe.” Grinning, Parker shrugged, but her eyes searched Candace’s intently.
“I’ll pass,” Candace said. It was always important to establish the rules, and the rule had always been one night, and one night only. Oh, she’d broken her own rule a few times and gotten away with it, but it was never smart. She had learned very quickly not to trust a woman who said she didn’t want anything other than a good time, because too often, the next morning she wanted more. Liz had been the only woman with whom she’d been tempted to change the game, but she hadn’t been able to. She’d fucked it up and almost lost one of the most important people in her life. She wouldn’t make that mistake again.
“You sure?” Parker asked. “I can save you one. Come collect it later.”
“No,” Candace said, careful to keep her voice light and her smile friendly. “Something tells me you’ll have plenty of takers. Have a good game, Parker.”
“Thanks, I will.” Parker turned her grin on Mandy. “Ready to haul this across the field, baby?”
“Anything ya want, ya got it.”
Candace watched them go, Mandy’s tight little ass swaying with every step. “Anything ya want.” I’ll just bet. God, Parker, have all your brains dropped into your crotch? Jesus.
Annoyed as much with herself as with Parker’s undiscriminating tastes, Candace headed off in the direction Liz and Bren had disappeared. A hundred women waited on the other side of the field, and one of them would be perfect to take her mind off Parker.
*
Reilly fielded a ground ball and underhanded it to second for the first out in a double play just as she saw Liz settle onto a wooden bench on the sidelines. Fortunately, it was only warm up and not the first inning, because her concentration immediately went all to hell. She hadn’t thought she would ever see Liz again. She’d been watching the parking lot and the adjoining fields for the last hour, and had eventually decided that Liz wasn’t coming. Why should she? Liz had made it pretty clear that Reilly had gone somewhere Liz didn’t want to go with that kiss.
There wasn’t any reason for Liz to come back to the field. Except she had. Reilly squinted, trying to make out if Liz was watching her.
“Reilly, heads up!”
A ball whizzed past her ear.
“Reilly, get your head in the game,” Sean yelled from center field. “You almost got it taken off.”
“Gonna get a drink,” Reilly yelled to no one in particular and hustled off the field. She sprinted down the outside of the third-base line, behind the backstop, and toward Liz.
Liz watched her coming, hoping she’d see a smile or some other sign of welcome. What she saw instead was worry and uncertainty. She hated knowing she put that look there. She’d had plenty of practice in court ordering her thoughts and speaking under pressure, swaying othe
rs to her opinion, but as she stood to meet Reilly, everything she planned to say went right out of her head.
“Hi Liz,” Reilly said.
“I was hoping I’d get here sooner.” Liz noticed several women watching them, and stepped a few feet further away from the bench. Reilly followed. “I need to talk to you. I want to explain about yesterday.”
“Liz,” Reilly sighed. “You don’t need—”
“Yes I do. It’s important to me. Please.”
“Hey,” Reilly murmured, reaching out as if to touch Liz’s arm, then drawing back. “Okay. Sure. That’s fine. We can talk.”
Liz wished Reilly would touch her. She didn’t usually crave physical connection, which is probably why she hadn’t noticed that she and Julia hadn’t shared much for months. But the memory of the barely restrained tension in Reilly’s body as she’d held her yesterday, the tight hard feel of Reilly’s arms around her, kept intruding on her thoughts. For all her gentleness, Reilly was physically commanding, and Liz liked it.
“Can I take you out for a drink after the game?” Liz asked, even though that hadn’t been her plan. Now that they were face to face and the game was about to start, Liz wanted, no needed, more than just a few minutes. She wanted to be alone with her.
Reilly rocked back on her heels, her arms folded across her chest. For a second, she gazed past Liz with a distant expression, and Liz was afraid she was going to say no. Liz held her breath.
“How about pizza at my place?” Reilly asked.
Liz felt her smile stretch across her face. “Yes. Yes, that would be perfect.”
*
Candace jostled the strangers who crowded around her in front of the Angels’ bench, trying to see over their heads to the next field where Parker’s team played. Now and then she caught glimpses of Parker on the mound, stretching her long body, rolling her shoulders, strutting. She smiled to herself, recalling the pleasure of that body moving sensuously over hers and just exactly what those long sensitive fingers could do to her hot and ready flesh. When she caught herself in the midst of an erotic daydream starring herself and Parker, she resolutely looked away.