“I can’t believe this!” She shouted. “You are the King! Are you crazy?”
“King? I’m useless! The Guide runs everything,” he stood and turned away.
“So you want more power, is that it?”
“No!” he spun around. “The truth is, I don’t really know what’s going on and no, I don’t want power. But I do know bad things happen to people who ask questions…”
He tried to stop himself from spilling too many words.
“…the banished are not released to live a free life in the wilderness. They are executed to guarantee they don’t ever come back. And it happens a lot.”
He didn’t break eye contact. From her intense stare he knew she was at least considering his words. Had he been the least bit unsure of himself, he couldn’t have held his gaze. He would have looked away. But he was sure of this and needed her to know it. It helped. The fire in her eyes cooled.
“How do you know that?”
“I can’t tell you.”
She looked hurt. “So now you don’t trust me?”
“No, it’s not that…I can’t tell you, I’m sworn to secrecy by powers that stop me. If you really want to know I can arrange it. You can take the same vows that I have.”
“No.” She turned the ring on her finger. “So you no longer believe in our way of life?”
“I believe and feel the same way I always have about you and our life. I just think there is a better way for Gardone.”
“Is it that you are unwilling to sacrifice for the sake of others because you don’t want to lose our daughter?”
She didn’t sound sarcastic, or he might have blown up at her. “No, I felt this way long before Delorah was chosen.”
“How long?”
“For years.”
“You have been teamed up with others scheming against the Guide for years?” The fire was back.
“No, I’ve felt this way for years. I only met the—”
A knock silenced Len. He turned and stared at the closed door across the room. He had said too much but not enough. She didn’t have enough details to understand what was happening. He spun around, terrified.
“I know this is a lot, but please, promise me you won’t say anything. Once I explain everything I know you’ll understand.”
“You think I would do that? The last thing I want is to lose my entire family.”
“It’s been a confusing day, I don’t know what to think either,” he said, relieved. “They would lock me up if they knew what I’ve told you.”
“Len, you are the most important thing to me, especially on days like this.” She smiled, not a happy smile, but a comforting one.
Another knock. He stood tall and faced the door. “Enter!”
It creaked open and a small figure emerged from the shadow. Migun’s face appeared in a ray of sunlight leaking from the window.
She fixed her gaze on Len. “I’m sorry, I’ll come back later.”
“It’s fine, Migun,” Tari said from behind him. “Come in.”
She stepped into the room and quietly closed the door behind her. “I just wanted to know how Jasper is.”
Tari slid off the bed and walked across the room to her. “I don’t know what is going to happen to Jasper—” she said.
“—He wasn’t banished?”
“He was banished,” Tari said.
Migun turned away and although she was trying to hide her face, Len could tell she was crying.
“It’s not right,” Migun said.
“I know ,” Tari said, “and I agree with you.”
Migun spun around. “You do?”
Len nodded, although Migun wasn’t looking at him.
“I want to go with him. I don’t want to stay here,” Migun said.
“We are trying to help him, maybe stop it, but you can’t do or say anything. You have to act normal or they might get suspicious,” Tari said.
“And he’ll be alright?”
“I hope so, but you’ll only make it worse if you do anything. There are people trying to help him but we have to stay out of their way.”
“But I want to help too.”
“You are, by not doing or saying anything,” Len said. He was impatient and his voice showed it. Migun looked at him and nodded.
Tari ushered Migun to the door. After a quick hug Migun slipped back into the hall. Tari closed the door and walked back to the bed.
“So is she one of your cronies?”
He shook his head. “No, but she’s got fight in her, and that’s good.”
“You can save him, can’t you?”
“I need to hurry.” He walked to the window and looked outside. The sun was getting low. “I need to leave now or there won’t be time.”
“Will you be in danger?”
“No,” he shook his head.
“We still have a lot to talk about.”
“I know. There’s a lot I want to tell you.”
“I don’t know how I feel about all of this,” she sounded like she might cry.
He crossed the room and took her hand. “I know. But I’ll explain it, I promise.”
She leaned on his shoulder and he put his arms around her. She squeezed him. It felt good to be close, especially now that she knew.
“Be careful, Len,” she said. “I can’t lose you.”
“You won’t.” The fragrance of her hair beckoned and he lowered his head. When his nose touched her ear, he took a deep breath. “And I won’t lose you?” he whispered.
“Never,” she replied.
He straightened to face her. Her eyes were turned up, waiting for him. He turned his head down and pulled her closer until he felt her lips against his. And he knew everything would be fine.
“I’ll be back late tonight, I’ll try not to wake you,” he said.
“I won’t be sleeping.”
He stepped back, holding her hand until the growing distance pulled them apart. Then he turned and hurried to the door. He looked back one last time and she melted him with her wide eyes and tender smile. Oh how he loved her.
* * * Tari’s vision blurred as her eyes filled with tears. She leaned against one of the posts supporting the bed canopy above her.
One night. It had taken one night for her world to crumble. Yesterday she achieved a dream; the ultimate honor and reward for a lifetime of hard work. Her daughter was the chosen one and her family strong. Today it all slipped away. The thought of Delorah going to serve Nix had always hurt, but she understood the higher cause. Their sacrifice was for the good of the kingdom, and Delorah would live a gratifying life in the service of Nix. It was unbearable to think about losing her daughter, but she knew they would be reunited again. They would be rewarded in the next life for their loyalty. Wouldn’t they?
Why, if she truly believed, were her hands trembling? Jasper’s banishment and Len’s troubling words were good reasons. But there was more. She started to shiver like an icy breeze had touched her skin. There was so much more. She clenched her teeth and tried to stop herself, but she couldn’t. She knew the truth. She didn’t want to lose them either. Pain and fear exploded from inside and she burst into wailing cries of sorrow. It was too much: Jasper banished and Delorah next year. Why had the Guide done this to her? Why had she let him? She gasped for air only to throw it back out in another moan that tapered into weeping as her body trembled. And when the breath was gone, she sucked in more with loud croaking gasps. And she repeated this, again and again until her stomach ached, her eyes burned, and the faint glow of her lamp was the only light left.
Exhaustion saved her. With her body unable to continue, she released her white knuckled grip on the bed post and fell to her side on the bed. She did not want to send her daughter away. Not for Nix, not for anyone. How could she have ever agreed to such insanity? And not just agreed, but desired? She pounded the bed with her fist.
She had to find Delorah. She took her lamp and stumbled through the dark room. At the vanity, a distraught mess
of a woman looked back from the mirror. Her entire face was red and wet. Her eyes were almost purple. She grabbed a kerchief and dabbed her eyes, reeling in pain when it touched her raw skin. Throwing her hands into the basin, she splashed fresh water on her face, which helped. Now, dabbing her face seemed to restore some of her natural color. She fanned herself, trying to blow away the tearstains, but it didn’t help. She looked like a woman who had been crying for weeks.
“Mother?”
Tari turned and through the darkness saw Delorah’s white nightgown floating in the doorway.
“Mother!” Delorah said, running across the room. “What’s wrong?”
Tari felt Delorah’s hand on her back. “What happened?” Delorah asked, her voice shaking.
Tari ran her fingers through Delorah’s short curly hair and embraced her. “Delorah, I want to leave the castle. Let’s go home.”
Delorah pushed back. “Leave? What do you mean? Everything is perfect.”
“I don’t want to lose you and Jasper. I just want our life back.”
“Why would you lose Jasper?”
“He’s been banished. He didn’t want you to be taken next year and they banished him. Let’s just leave, right now. Let’s pack up and go home.”
Delorah dropped Mother’s hand and backed away. “I’m not leaving. I won’t shame our family.”
Her scowl shocked Tari. “But you don’t want to leave us, do you?”
“Yes. It’s my duty, my calling. You know that. It is an honor. I can’t believe you would say that.”
“Do you know Jasper has been banished?”
Delorah sighed. “No, I didn’t.” She sat next to Tari. “I’m sorry. I know this is hard for you, but if Jasper was banished it was his choice. Just like it is my choice to serve. You have prepared me all my life for this. We are being tested and we have to stay strong.”
If she was to have a chance at saving Delorah, this wasn’t the way to do it. There was a year to plan. Tonight, Jasper was in danger. “You are right, I’m just sad.”
Delorah wrapped her arms around Tari and the two embraced. “I’m sad, too. Everything will be fine if we have faith. We have to be strong.”
As Tari held her daughter close, she felt the distance between them. She’d raised her too well.
Chapter 4
The Windmill
“Banished?” Endell said, again.
“That’s what I said, how many times to I have to say it?” Migun said, sudden anger spilling out harsh words. She wiped a tear from her cheek; it was hard enough to say it the first time, but infuriating to repeat it again and again. She wasn’t mad at Endell, but she was frustrated and it spilled out onto him; especially when he kept asking the same question.
“Who told you?” Endell said.
“The queen,” her voice was sullen.
Endell sat down and leaned against the barn. His mouth hung open, his eyes glossed over, and Migun instantly regretted snapping at him. “I’m sorry I got mad…” Her voice cracked and she turned away.
She hated when her emotions made her say mean things, especially to people who cared. She took a deep breath, looked around, and her anxiety drained like a slow leaking bucket. The sun was low, bathing the countryside in a light so golden she could almost hold it in her hands. A breeze pushed through the green meadow that stretched before her making the tall grass ripple like waves on a lake. Beyond the meadow leaves rustled, sounding like a small creek. She missed the forest. No, she missed playing in the forest with her best friends: Jasper, Endell, and Delorah. She wasn’t angry after all, she was sad.
She looked at Endell, his head was buried in his hands and he was crying. She rushed over and knelt at his side, resting her hand on his shoulder. His body was shaking. She wanted to comfort him but couldn’t think of an appropriate thing to say so instead sat there, feeling awkward.
He looked up at her, eyes full of tears. “It’s my fault...” He put his head back in his hands and his sobbing became audible.
“No it’s not, how could this possibly be your fault?”
“You don’t understand,” he said, head still buried in his hands.
He took a heavy breath and Migun, confused, waited for him to continue. He wiped his cheeks on his sleeve and looked at her.
“Last night he was saying things against Nix. I didn’t know what to do.” He shook his head slowly. “I was so stupid. I thought it was a chance to get Jasper back so I told my father about it. He asked if anyone else knew but I wasn’t sure. Then he asked what we should do and I told him we should do what’s right. I mean, what else was I supposed to say? But my mother overheard and we had no choice, she made us report it.”
Migun slowly removed her hand from his shoulders, now feeling extremely awkward.
“We went to the castle…” he picked up a rock from the dirt next to him and chucked it into the field. “I wish I hadn’t said anything. I tried to tell them it wasn’t anything to worry about but then Len reported it to the Guide.”
Turning again to Migun, he spoke sternly, “I never thought he’d be banished. Believe me, I wouldn’t have said a word. I really thought…I don’t know what I thought. I was just so mad he left us. New friends, fancy food, horses, parties…I hadn’t even seen him for a month.”
Now it all made sense. She spent most of her time working in the castle where she saw Delorah and Jasper almost every day. Endell had been abandoned completely. Uncomfortable from kneeling, she pulled out her legs and sat on the ground. She leaned against the barn and sighed. “I don’t think anyone thought he’d end up banished,” she said.
The rustling trees filled the long silence that followed.
“I have to find him,” Endell said. “He will go away and always think I turned him in. He won’t know that I didn’t mean it. Where is he now?”
“I don’t know, but even if I did, he can’t see anyone.”
“When will they take him away?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Probably tomorrow.”
Endell’s eyes became intense and his face looked tight and determined. Panic swept through her. Tari had told her to act normal and keep quiet and she had run right to Endell and spilled everything. To make it worse, now he wanted to interfere. She couldn’t let that happen.
“There isn’t anything we can do. What’s done is done,” she told him hoping to get the crazed look out of his eyes.
He frowned hard, obviously disgusted. “How can you say that? We’ll never see him again. We have one chance…there will never another.”
“Anything we do will get us in trouble—”
“—You don’t have to do anything,” he interrupted and jumped to his feet. “But I’m going to.” He walked up the path towards his house in the distance.
“Wait,” Migun stood and ran to catch him.
He turned around and she grappled for words. “I wasn’t supposed to tell you all this, Tari and Len are trying to do something. If you do anything, you might mess it up.”
“Len sent him to the Guide in the first place. Why would he do anything?”
“They had me slip a note in Jasper’s pocket so he wouldn’t say too much to the Guide. They really are trying to stop it.”
“Note?” he asked.
Her stomach churned, warning that if she wasn’t careful her secret feelings for Jasper would spill out. “Tari made it sound like it was from me but said he’d know it was from her. It told him that we care about him and don’t want him to leave. It wasn’t about me at all.” Oops, that last part slipped out, too much denial. She held her breath, hoping he couldn’t see through her.
“That’s good for you but doesn’t help me. I have to get him my own message.” He started walking again.
“Wait!” she yelled.
“I don’t have time,” he yelled back over his shoulder.
“I want to help you.” She sprinted forward and grabbed his shoulder, he spun around. “I want to see Jasper, too. Maybe even go with him,” she
said.
Endell stared at her.
“Just get banished then,” he said.
She scowled and rolled her eyes.
“You would leave Gardone to go with him?” he asked.
She nodded…he smiled.
* * * The light in the windmill surprised Thamus because he’d expected more time. He hadn’t decided yet. He knew what he should do, but he was scared and uncertain. It sickened him to think about the people he would betray. If he went to the meeting tonight there would be no turning back. He would be asked to do things that might hurt those he loved, and, after tonight, he couldn’t refuse.
But maybe the setting sun was teasing him. Holding up his arm, he shielded the sun and focused on the windmill isolated on a hill across the fields. He wasn’t sure. He grabbed the handle of the empty water bucket next to the house and watched his feet as he followed the worn path through the meadow. Within moments he would know for sure whether it was the signal or a just a reflection. At the sound of footsteps, he looked up and saw Endell and Migun walking toward him.
“Your mother is looking for you. Did you feed the chickens?” He suddenly felt guilty for not acknowledging Migun and without pausing continued, “How are you Migun? Is your family well?”
Migun and Endell both began to speak at once, “Yes, Yes, and he, thanks and, was out of, how are, water, you?” they both stopped and Migun laughed nervously.
“My family is doing well, thanks,” she said.
Endell didn’t wait for Thamus to respond to her. “Yes, and I filled the water tray too.”
Thamus nodded at Endell, “good,” and turned back to Migun, “I’m glad to hear that. Tell your father I’m sorry I didn’t show up last week. I wanted to go…I had planned on going.” He stopped. Anger tried to surface but this wasn’t the time or place. “I had to watch the sheep…there have been wolves in the night.”
Migun nodded, “I’ll tell him.”
Thamus stepped aside, into the deep grass.
“We’ll be eating soon Endell, you best get washed up.”
“I will,” Endell nodded.
As Endell walked past, Thamus instinctively reached out and gently squeezed his son’s shoulder. Then with the kids behind him, he continued down the path. Although he’d pushed back the anger, it still left him bitter. He didn’t care about betraying her…the tyrant who ran his life. The sheep would have been fine. There was no wolf. It wouldn’t have mattered for him to take one night off to join Rudolpho for ale. All she wanted was wool…anything to get more…everything to get more. His whole life was about producing more so she would be happy. But she was never happy, always wanting more. He shook his head and his bottom lip tensed. He turned and looked at the windmill. It was a light; now he was certain. And of course he would go.
Mandala's Catalyst (Gardone Trilogy) Page 5