by Ilima Todd
Kai.
I gasp. My heart. Stops. Beating.
He stands against the wall in the corner of the room. One foot is lifted, resting on the wall behind him. He holds a fruit in his hand, peeling away at the skin that surrounds it. He looks . . . tired.
He hasn’t seen me yet.
My brows narrow and my eyes pierce him. He left me. I am so angry because he left me. I ball my fists and march toward him. I will punch him. Punch him and kick him and slap his face for leaving me alone like that. I don’t care who sees me do it.
Kai lifts his head and sees me coming. He drops his fruit and takes a step toward me. And when I see it, I break into a run. All thoughts of hurting him vanish, and I fly into him, knocking him to the ground. I am lying on top of him, holding him so tight, I doubt he can breathe.
It reminds me of the day at the waterfall, when I thought I had killed him. When I thought he had drowned. I didn’t care that he had played a joke on me. I was so glad he was alive, I didn’t care what he did. I hold him and grip his shoulders hard. I will not let him get away from me again. Never, ever again.
He presses his arms into my back and pulls me to him so fiercely there’s no space left between us.
I finally pull away enough to look at his face. I touch the bandage behind his right ear. His eyes are moist with tears. Why is he crying?
“Kai, you are such a jerk. Why are you crying?”
“I was so afraid . . . afraid I’d never see you again.” He shakes, squeezing my arms so hard.
I sit up on him, straddling his waist. Anger slips past my resolve, and I slap at his chest. “You left me, you idiot. You left me.” I punch him and yell. “I hate you.”
He sits up and kisses me so hard I feel like I will burst into flame, right there. I pull back. “No! You don’t get to kiss me, you scab. I hate you.”
His smile is so wide, so warm despite my outburst. Is he laughing? His eyes burn deep into mine. Full of wanting. Full of love.
I press my mouth hard onto his and pull him close. Crying and laughing, hitting and hugging.
“I love you,” he says when his mouth is free. “I love you I love you I love you.”
“I don’t love you,” I say, shaking my head. “I don’t love you so, so much.”
Kai laughs and kisses the side of my head.
I grab his collar with both of my hands and shake him hard. “Why did you leave?”
His hands touch my face, my hair, my shoulders. His eyes see all of me. “You needed to choose.” His voice shakes. “Between Freedom and the Rise—without me as a factor. I needed to know you were choosing for the right reasons and not just because of me. You needed to know that.”
I throw my arms around him. “I chose the Rise,” I say into his neck. “I left Freedom—I left Theron—to choose it.”
“I know you did,” Kai says. “You are so brave.”
Yes. I am.
This book. THIS BOOK. Who knew a story I managed to write in a few short weeks would end up being So Much Work? And not just for me. It took a village to raise this baby, and this is the part I thank everyone involved in bringing it to life.
So great big awkward-hug-thanks go to:
My husband, Daniel, who believed in me even when I didn’t. You always said I could do it, and ta-da . . . you were right, of course. You are my hero, my happiness, my best friend. I love you a hundred.
Emma, Parker, Stirling, and Hailey. You are the most well-behaved, patient, smart, kind, and loveable children on the planet. And you are all mine. Which makes me the luckiest mama on the planet.
My dad who raised me to be a reader, and my mom who loves him enough to pretend she doesn’t notice when he sneaks another bookshelf into the house. I write about the joy of families because of you. And my siblings and in-laws—thank you for reading and loving my stories and telling me I’m the coolest writer ever. You’re the best.
M83 for being my writing muse. Your music is behind every word I write. Thanks for being so cool. When are you coming to Utah? No, seriously.
My Plums. Emily Prusso, the day you asked me to lunch changed my life forever, and despite your “ugly kids” and sailor mouth, you will toads be my BFF until those Livermore scientists build a star and beyond. Robin Hall, you’re the only person in the world who has read every story I’ve written and will forever be my first reader—you are the super mom I want to be. Katie Purdie, we’ve fought, cried, laughed, cheered, and swooned together. You are like a sister to me, and I’m privileged to call you a kindred spirit. You girls are more than my CPs, you’re my best friends, my sisters, my heart. There aren’t enough heart emoticons in the world to tell you how much I love you.♥♥♥
Christy Petrie, Taryn Albright, and Kelley Lynn—you’ve been with me from the start, and Remake wouldn’t be where it is without you. No lie. Thank you. And to my readers: Janell, Nicole, Julee, Coral, Michelle, Daisy, and Ashley. Your love kept me going. Also Elana Johnson and everyone in our LDStorymakers Primer group, and Ann Dee Ellis and my WIFYR Boot Camp class. You all helped me rock this manuscript. To my Mom’s Night posse and the entire online writing community—thanks for your endless support.
Jennifer Skutelsky, who loved my world and characters enough to take a chance on this newbie writer and worked to help me whip this baby into shape. And to Katherine Boyle for being a rock-star agent in selling this bad boy and making me feel so blessed to be a part of the Veritas family.
Heidi Taylor and Chris Schoebinger, for believing in me and my writing. Your tireless devotion to Nine and her story means so much. To Lisa Mangum for making my writing look much better than it really is, and to everyone at Shadow Mountain for making my publishing dream come true. I’m so excited to be joining this awesome family.
And to God. Because while I’ve no idea where most of this story came from, I think you do. I’m forever grateful for the opportunity to do what I love.
And you, the reader. You win twenty trillion cool points for reading my book. Thank you.
In Freedom One, citizens are given the opportunity to change everything about their appearance. Nine wants to get rid of her freckles and red hair, but is unsure about her other choices. Have you ever wished you could change how you look? If you could change something, what would it be and why? Have you ever wanted to change solely to fit in with others?
Nine goes by her given Maker number until she chooses a name for herself. What significance, if any, does this have for Nine and her character’s journey? Is your name an important part of who you are? How did you get your name? Does it have special meaning for you or your parents? Do you wish you could change it? If so, to what . . . and why?
One of the Remake decisions Nine struggles with is her gender choice. Do you think there’s more to being male or female than the obvious physical differences? If so, what? Are these traits learned or inherent? Can artificial hormones change this, or is gender a part of who you are no matter what you alter?
Nine doesn’t think she is courageous, and she admires Theron for his natural strength and bravery. Is bravery something you can be born with? Is it something that can be learned? Have you ever admired someone so much you wished you could become like them? While Nine doubts her own bravery throughout the story, there are several instances where she shows the reader the opposite is true. Can you name a few of them?
Freedom One wants its batchers to be raised as equals and have the freedom to choose whatever they want. What does it mean to be equal? Can people be different yet still be equal, or is equality impossible to obtain? What are the dangers of having no consequences for our actions? Do you think people can truly be happy living this way? Why or why not?
When Nine first washes up on the island, Kai is suspicious of her, while the rest of his family is not. Why do you think that is? At what point does he start thinking differently? Do you think their journey from hate to indifference to romance is a believable one?
Nine must learn to adjust to life witho
ut electricity on the island. What would you miss if you didn’t have electricity? How would your life change?
When Nine returns to Freedom, her perception of the people and society has changed, mostly because of what she learned on the island. Have you ever revisited a place from your childhood that isn’t quite how you remembered? Have you ever encountered someone from your past who had vastly changed from who they used to be? How much do you think our experiences shape who we are and how we view the world? How have you changed from one, five, or ten years ago?
Theron tends to be protective of Nine, while Kai pushes her into difficult situations to grow. Which approach is better for Nine? Do you think it would be the same for all people, or would it depend on their character? Which works better for you? Do you think Kai does the right thing by leaving Nine and making her choose the Rise for herself? Would she have had the same conviction if he had stayed with her and they escaped Freedom together? What could he have done differently?
In the end, Nine has to choose between two different love interests, lifestyles, and beliefs—two different versions of herself. Do you think she makes the right choice? Have you ever had to choose between two things you thought could be right for you? Do you think Nine could have been happy if she stayed with Theron?
In today’s society, for the most part, children are raised in family units. This might consist of two parents, a single parent, children raised by other family members or by foster or adoptive parents, etc., but the nurturing nature of a family community is at our society’s foundation. Freedom One attempts to raise children without any form of family or parental figures. Do you think a society like this could ever prosper, let alone survive for very long? Do you think an individual can succeed without the influence of a family? What strengths or benefits come from living in a family, both within the family unit and in the outside community? How important are parental figures in the lives of children?
Are you on Team Theron or Team Kai?