*****
SAMANTHA
I wake up seeing a pink wall in front of me. I blink a few times trying to get my eyes to focus. Once I can see clearly, I turn over. There, lying next to me is Slade. I still feel a bit disappointed that he left yesterday without explaining to me what happened between us in the kitchen. It’s not like him to keep things bottled up. That is usually what I do. He has always told me how he felt.
I need to clear my head. I have no right to think that way.
I sigh as I think of all the stuff I have to do today. I climb out of bed, careful not to wake him. I throw on a bra, a tank top, and a pair of cotton shorts. I put my hair up in a messy bun and slide on a pair of flip-flops. I don’t bother with makeup, I’m sure I will end up crying it off sometime later.
I check the clock and see that it’s six thirty-four in the morning. I’m already behind. In all honesty, I probably should have never gone to bed last night. I should have started packing. But I needed the rest, and although my brain feels sluggish, my body actually feels well-rested.
I make my way out of the room and head down to get some coffee. When it’s ready, I venture into my mom’s room with my cup in hand. I figure this is the best place to start. I had looked around in here yesterday trying to find the dress from her wedding, but I made it quick. There were no remnants of glass from broken memories on the hardwood floors. I felt bad that I made the mess, knowing that Slade was probably the one to clean it up.
I walk over to the closet and open the door. I step in and run my fingertips over the clothes hanging up. My mother was petite. She was about an inch shorter than me but weighed around the same. While in the bathtub last night, I wondered about what I would give away, and I knew there were quite a few things I wanted to keep. Like the sweater dress that she wore every Valentine’s Day. My dad had gotten it for her their first year together and it became a tradition for her to wear it every year. I don’t remember exactly how old I was when I asked her why.
She had said, “Your father and I were shopping one day and I spotted it through a store window. I just stared at it, thinking it was so lovely. It was two days before Valentine’s Day. I was so shocked when I opened the pretty box wrapped in red paper with a white bow and saw it. He said he had gone back the next morning on his way to work and bought it for me. He wanted me to put it on right then, said he couldn’t wait to see what it looked like on me.” Her face had the biggest smile on it while recalling that memory.
She didn’t talk about my father much, but every now and then she would bring him up and it always made her smile. I always thought that she loved my dad more than she let on. But now I guess he had loved her more. He stayed in love with her even when she had taken his trust and love for granted and went into someone else’s arms. I guess his love wasn’t enough for her. Will my love be enough for Slade?
I come to the end of her closet, on the back wall where there is a set of shelves. I smile as I look at her jewelry box. It’s dark cherry wood and the lid opens to reveal compartments that hold her rings and bracelets.
I open it and see my grandma’s wedding ring. She had passed before I was even born but my mom said they got along really well. She loved her son but also loved my mother just as much.
My brow crinkles as I look around, not seeing my parents’ wedding rings. I open the bottom drawers and still don’t find them.
Hmmm, I wonder where they are.
I know my mom had them. I shut the lid and turn around. I need to start getting stuff done. I can look for the rings later. I need to go through this entire house today. I begin by pulling her scarves out of drawers. I want to keep them; she and I had a fascination when it came to accessories: scarves, shoes, and purses. She taught me everything there was to being a lady, while my dad taught me it was okay to be a lady that could kick some ass.
“Do you need any help?”
I look up to see Holly standing there with her own cup of coffee in hand. I smile at her. “That would be great, thanks.” I scan the room and frown.
“What’s wrong?” Holly takes a step toward me.
“I don’t know what I’m going to put everything in.” I hadn’t even thought about that yesterday. Maybe some trash bags. That seems kind of tacky though.
“Use the boxes,” she says simply as she takes of sip of her coffee.
“What boxes?” I look around once again. Did I miss something?
“The boxes Slade bought.”
I just stare at her, clearly confused. She lets out a puff of air. “When Slade came in last night he said he had bought boxes to pack with today.”
I feel a smile tug at my lips. Is that where he had gone? I thought he just needed some time away from me, and really, he was just thinking ahead. “Did he bring them in?” I ask her, walking out of the closet.
“I didn’t see him bring any in. They must still be in his rental car. I’ll go grab as many as I can.”
“I’ll go with you.” We both set our coffee mugs down on the dresser and head out of the room to go retrieve the boxes.
About two hours later, Holly and I had accomplished quite a bit. I sit on my mom’s bed as Holly holds up a shirt of hers. If I shake my head no, she throws it in the box by her feet. If I nod, she throws it to me and I fold it, placing it into the box by me.
“I’m excited about you moving in with Slade,” she says as she holds up a blouse.
“Yeah,” I mutter, trying not to sound hurt about the subject.
“He loves you, Sam.”
“I know.”
“Honestly, I think he is afraid to say anything right now.” She holds up a shirt and I nod.
“I was just so excited and he acted like it was no big deal.”
“I know this is a big deal to him. I know he has never been this happy.” She gets up from the closet floor and comes to sit beside me. “I just think he’s afraid to show any happiness. He thinks you’re hurting. He doesn’t want to walk around smiling and laughing, knowing you are not doing the same.”
I fold the shirt, placing it in my keep box, and look up at her brown eyes. “Holly.” I reach out and take her hand in mine. I know if there is anyone I can get through to, it’s Holly. “I did break, I was lying broken on this floor, crying my eyes out, trying to breathe. I thought I was going to die and all I could think of was Slade and how much I loved him.” I take in a deep breath as she smiles. “If my mom’s death taught me anything, it is that a person can misunderstand a situation. When I was lying on this floor, I realized I wanted him to know how much I loved him, no matter if he didn’t feel the same. I just had to tell him. Then he showed up and I became terrified. I thought it was a mistake, that my mind was playing tricks on me. That, like my mother, I had been given the chance to make something right only for it to end.
“Then when he held me, I didn’t want to let him go.” I shrug. “When I realized that he was really here, I told him how I felt, and I couldn’t be happier that he feels the same.” I stare down at her hand squeezing mine. “But I don’t know why he’s keeping his distance from me now.”
“Like I said, Slade has never experienced something like this. He’s clearly confused on how to react.”
“Thanks, Holly.” She leans over, pulling me in for a hug. “Let’s get this finished up.”
It only takes thirty more minutes to get all of the boxes taped, labeled, and in the hallway.
“What if these boxes won’t fit in the Tahoe?” I place my hands on my hips looking down at them. I don’t plan on keeping much but they are pretty big boxes and the Tahoe can only hold so many.
I feel two strong arms wrap around me from behind and a face nuzzle my neck. “I will rent a U-Haul trailer to pull behind the Tahoe if we need to,” Slade says in that deep voice that makes me break out in goose bumps.
I smile, bringing my arms up to hold onto his tightly. Then my face drops. “Crap,” I whisper.
“What?” Slade says letting go of me. I turn around and look at hi
m.
“We will have to drive separately. Do you want to drive the Tahoe or my dad’s car?”
“I thought of that last night. Holly and Micah are going to follow us in your dad’s car.” He nods over to Holly.
“Oh.” Guess he got a lot figured out last night. “Okay.”
“Is that okay? We don’t have to if you don’t want Micah driving it,” Holly says.
“Oh no, that’s very nice of you guys. Thank you. I just hadn’t thought of that.” I give her a small smile. It is a very good idea.
The doorbell rings, breaking up our conversation. “I’ll go get that for you,” Holly offers, walking past us in the hallway.
I look up at Slade and he is frowning. I remember what Holly told me and I give him a little grin. I want him to know he doesn’t have to walk on eggshells around me. I hate what happened, but that does not change the fact that I love Slade and I want him to know how much.
“Sam,” I hear Holly yell from the front door.
I walk down the hallway with Slade following behind me. I come to the entryway and see a man standing outside the front door. A very nice looking man. He has on a tight black t-shirt, a black leather jacket, a dark pair of jeans, and black boots. He has a chain that’s connected to his belt loop, hanging against the side of his pants’ leg, and dipping into his back pocket. He has dark hair, about the same color as Slade, but not as long on top. His eyes are dark blue and his defined jaw is outlined with what looks to be a few days of stubble.
“Can I help you?” I ask as I come to stand in front of the door.
The man looks at Slade for a second, and then down to me. I see his eyes soften as his face breaks into a small smile. “Sam,” he says politely.
“Do I know you?” I question, tilting my head to the side. He doesn’t look like anyone from school. The only person I have stayed in contact with from Tulsa is Courtney.
His smile drops off his face and he clears his throat. “I, ah, need to speak to you,” he says not taking his eyes off of mine.
Slade comes to stand beside me. “She asked you a question!” His voice is hard.
“Yes.” He nods, still looking at me. “You know me. You just don’t remember me.” I feel a chill run up my spine. I know this man? Where do I know him from?
“Sam,” he begins, placing his hands behind his back. He must know that Slade has a tendency to punch first, ask questions later. “I won’t keep you long. Holly said you were busy packing. I just needed to come by and see that you were okay.” How does he know Holly’s name? Did she introduce herself? His eyes leave my face and flash to Slade’s before finding their way back to mine.
“I’m fine,” I say, unsure of what this man is doing on my mom’s porch when I have no idea who he is.
“Look.” His eyes shift to Slade again. “I don’t mean to keep you guys, I just came to see you, Sam.” His gaze drops back to mine. “I need to have a conversation with you. I need to tell you some things.”
My back stiffens over how close those words sound like something my mother would say. “What do you need to tell me?” I ask cautiously. How could this man, whom I don’t know, need to tell me something?
“Do you really not remember me?” He frowns as if disappointed.
I shake my head.
He takes a deep breath. “It’s me, Tate.”
I feel a small smile creep up on my face. “Tate?” I whisper. How the hell was I supposed to know what he looked like now? Last time I saw him I was ten, and that was over thirteen years ago. He had long shaggy hair and was built like a scrawny kid. Those are not the words I would use to describe him now.
“What are you doing here? I thought you lived in Alaska.” His mother was my mom’s best friend. His dad had abused his mother. One day she left him, took Tate, and headed off to Alaska to live with her sister. As far as I knew, my mom had never spoken to her again, but I have also been absent for the last five years.
I step closer and give him a hug. The smell of leather from his jacket fills my nose as he wraps his arms around me, gently returning my embrace before he pulls away.
“I wish Mom was here to see you,” I say with a sad smile. She took care of him a lot. She felt bad that his dad was a drunk and beat on his mother. I don’t know if he ever hit Tate or not, I never asked.
He looks over to Slade then back at me. “How did you find out that my mom had passed?”
“Well….” He pauses like he’s trying to find the right words. “That’s another reason why I’m here.” He inhales deeply.
I instantly know this reunion is not going to go well. I have had enough bad news to last a lifetime and I have a sickening feeling about this one. “What is it?” I ask cautiously.
He stays silent for a few seconds. “I was helping take care of your mother.”
“What? When?” Was she up in Alaska?
“Sam, you have to understand, it was what she wanted,” he starts, defending her.
“What are you talking about, Tate?” I snap.
“She wanted me to make sure you were safe.”
I just stand there, stiff as a board. What the hell is he talking about? “Just say what you came to say, Tate.”
He keeps his dark blue eyes on mine as he inhales another deep breath. “I was the one who kept her informed on how you were doing.” He takes a step toward the door, and I instantly step back, still not breathing. This has to be a nightmare. How has he been able to keep tabs on me? How did he ever find me? What all has he seen? Why would he report back to my mother and not inform me that she was dying?
“How could you?” I whisper as tears start to fill my eyes, making him a blurry vision.
His dark blue eyes bore into mine. “I’m sorry, Sam. I want to explain it all to you.” He shoots a nervous glance at Slade and then to Holly, who haven’t spoken. “But I think we should do it in private.”
I feel Slade take a step toward him, but I place my arm out to stop him.
“That’s not necessary. I’ve heard enough.” My voice cracks and it makes me want to cry harder.
He reaches in his jacket pocket and pulls out a card. I don’t know why, but I find myself reaching out with numb hands to take it. “Please call me. I want you to know.” Then he turns around and walks to the curb, slides a pair of dark sunglasses over his eyes, and climbs onto his motorcycle.
He drives off and I stand there, still holding my hand out with the card in it. What the hell just happened? Why does this shit keep happening? Anger flares and I take in a deep breath as a tear falls down my cheek. I have to hold myself together. Who cares if he was going behind my back? He knows what he did was wrong, or he wouldn’t have told me that he wanted to explain. Well, to hell with him, he can live with his guilt.
I reach out and slam the front door, making Holly jump. I spin around, passing her and Slade, and race down the hallway to the kitchen. I shred the card and throw it in the trash. I grab an empty box out of the living room and storm up the stairs. I have shit to pack. I want to get out of this God forsaken town and back to St. Louis as soon as possible. All I want is to be in Slade’s bed, while he holds me tight, leaving this town and these horrible memories behind.
CHAPTER FIVE
SLADE
I stand there looking at the front door.
“Did that just really happen?” Holly asks in disbelief.
I don’t know how to answer that question. I saw it with my own eyes but I can’t comprehend it. Some strange man just told my Angel that he has pretty much been stalking her.
I want to beat the fuck out of him.
How long has he been following her? Her mother told me that she was always there watching over her. I shake my head. Marie could barely walk. How in the fuck would she have been able to follow her around in another state?
“Fuck,” I growl. “The shit just keeps coming, right when I think I have it figured out, just when I think she is going to be okay, someone new throws something in the mix.” I run a hand throu
gh my hair.
“How does she know him?” Holly questions. “Neither one of them explained that part.”
“What did he say when you answered the door?” Right now, I don’t care how he knows her. I care why in the fuck he showed up here, pissing her off.
“He just asked to talk to Sam.” She gives an apologetic shrug. “I thought that maybe he was a neighbor coming to give his condolences.”
“Well there is obviously something there. They must have been friends once.”
“I don’t think they are friends anymore,” she whispers.
I turn around and head to Angel’s room. “Angel.” I walk in and she is all over her room. She’s throwing some stuff in a trash bag and other things are tossed into a box on the floor. She’s wrapping picture frames in shirts before putting them into yet another box.
“What Slade?” she asks without even turning in my direction.
“Are you okay? Do you want to talk about what just happened?”
“No,” she replies flatly.
I sigh and she spins around to face me, balling her fist at her sides. “I want out of this town. I want out of this house. I just want to get all this stuff packed up and head home as soon as possible.”
I can see the tears in her eyes. I feel so helpless. I want to protect her from everything, but I can’t as long as people keep showing up and hurting her. I walk up to her and pull her into a hug. Her body goes slack against mine and she wraps her arms around my stomach. “I know, Angel.” I lean down and kiss her head. “What do you need me to do?”
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