He looks down at me and then his eyes slowly run down my exposed chest. I watch as his eyes follow the pattern of the bruises from the seatbelt and then down to my scar from the surgery.
“Slade,” I whisper feeling my throat tighten. “Don’t…” I swallow nervously. “You love your job. It’s your life. It’s who you are.”
He shakes his head quickly and places his hands on my face. “You’re my life. Our child is my life. That was just a job.”
I can’t help but feel like I’m taking his dream away from him. “You will hate me. Regret what you did,” I try to make him see. “You’ll wake up one day and see that you gave up your life for…”
He interrupts my rambling. “The only thing I will ever regret is what happened to you.” He gives me a soft smile. “I could never hate you.”
I place my hand over my mouth and my eyes widen. “Oh my God,” I whisper. “Your dad. He’s going to hate me,”
“Stop, Angel,” he demands pulling my hand away from my mouth. “No one hates you for my decision. I chose to leave.”
“But why?” I just don’t understand.
He sighs and then places his hand down on my growing belly. “Because that’s not the person I want to be.” He looks me in the eyes. “I want to be the type of father who teaches their child the difference between right and wrong.” He pauses. “Yes, you were the one to show me the difference. Before you came into my life, I only looked for gray areas where people could slide through and walk away without taking responsibility for their actions. You. Our child.” He shakes his head. “Now everything is black and white. They either did it or they didn’t. How can I defend a person who hurt someone else’s loved ones?”
“But it’s never bothered you before,” I point out, and he closes his eyes as if he’s remembering something.
He opens them and looks up at me. “You’re right. It didn’t.” He looks down to his hand now resting on my hip. “I did some very bad things when Jax took you. Things that I will never regret.” He looks up at me. “I would kill for you. Die for you. Anything to know that you were safe, and then I would take my punishment. But when you were taken.” He looks away. “I had to see a man who had information about where you were.” His jaw tightens. “I knew him,” he whispers.
“What?” I ask in shock.
He nods once. “I had defended him once for his drug use.” He shakes his head in disgust. “And he was probably the same guy that Jeremy and Jax got the stuff they used on you from.” I watch his expressions as his emotions get the best of him. The anger. The hate. He wears it for everyone to see now.
His hand grips my hip, and he swallows. I know he’s remembering what he went through, and I don’t want him to have to keep going through that. He feels bad for what I went through but I can’t remember most of it. He’s the one who continues to suffer from it.
I try to change the subject somewhat. “Were all of your clients like that?” I ask quietly making him frown. “Drug dealers? Or did they do things to others?” He tilts his head in confusion.
I sigh. “You never talk about your job to me. So I thought that you handled cases like drunk driving, maybe drugs…” I trail off when I see his jaw tighten.
“Come here.” He pulls me over into the bedroom and sits me down on the bed as he kneels down in front of me. He runs a hand nervously through his messy hair. “I did defend those who had such cases. I have even defended people charged with murder,” he says slowly to gauge my reaction, “but when I first started out I felt I had to prove something to…well everyone. Even myself.” He pauses. “There was a case where a man was acquitted of murdering his ex-wife.”
I sit motionless, just listening to him finally open up about his job. The one he quit, the life he just gave up like that, for me and our baby.
“She had remarried just months before she was found…” He clears his throat. “The ex-husband came to my dad wanting him to represent him. My dad then asked me to help out on the case. He swore he was innocent.” He shakes his head. “Said he had done some digging on her new husband and had found that he had several domestic disputes against him. One lady had even went as far as a restraining order.” He sighs. “So I started doing some research as well and found where the wife had been to the hospital for a broken arm a month after her wedding. On paper it all looked like a solid case. The current husband was in fact guilty.” He shakes his head.
“What happened?” I ask rubbing the tears off of my face. How can someone kill the one person they vow to protect and love?
He looks up to me and searches my eyes. “It was just an illusion. He was guilty. I found messages where she was still seeing him.”
“How did the new husband not see all the bruises?” I ask shocked.
“He was a pilot for a major airline. Always out of town,” he shrugs guessing. “Maybe that’s why she kept seeking out the ex.”
“So what did you do? Did you turn him in?”
His answer is cold and sends a shiver up my body. “No,” he says simply.
“No?” I ask frowning. “But you knew…”
“But knowing wasn’t my job, Angel. My job was to defend him no matter what the situation was,” he explains flatly.
“So you let a man walk who killed his ex-wife?” I ask in horror.
He continues to kneel down in front of me and stares into my eyes. “That right there is why I will never look back and regret quitting my job,” he says slowly. “I don’t want you to look at me that way.”
“What…? No…”
“Don’t try to deny it. You’re looking at me like I’m evil.” He sighs. “And I was.” He places a hand one either side of my belly. “I did this for you and our baby. But I…” He pauses and closes his eyes tightly. When he opens them they are filled with tears. “I needed to do it for me. For what I want to be.” He blinks and a tear runs down his cheek.
I swallow the lump in my throat and reach out to wrap my arms around him. “I would never see you as anything evil, Slade. I love you,” I whisper.
He runs his hand down my back slowly. “I love you too, baby.”
I pull back and sigh. “But Micah and your dad. They are still going to defend the guilty,” I say softly. “You can’t keep our child from them. They will grow up around that.”
He nods. “And that’s okay. If our child decides to take that path, I will support them one hundred percent. I will love them no matter what they decide to do with their life. But that life is no longer for me.”
I smile, and he smiles back at me. Then I ask the question that bothers me. He hasn’t been to work in two weeks. “When did you quit?”
“The day you came home from the hospital,” he says as he intently watches me.
I frown and my shoulders slump as I ask. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He sighs. “I didn’t want you to see me as a failure or a quitter.”
I take his face in my hands. “Slade,” I breathe, and he smiles. “You want to better your life for our family. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
*****
SLADE
I lie awake in bed next to Angel as she sleeps later on that night. I place my hands behind my head and look up at the ceiling thinking over everything I told her earlier this morning. That murder case was really the only case that ever bothered me, and I wasn’t even the main attorney on it. My father was.
What I didn’t tell her about was the breakdown the current husband had in the courtroom. He screamed, cried, and started throwing stuff when his wife’s murderer was pronounced innocent. He was arrested at the time, bailed out by his sister, and then weeks later he went to prison for life for shooting my father’s client.
Back then, I didn’t quite understand. I mean, I’ve always known love can make you do crazy things. I had witnessed it with friends plenty of times. But he killed a man who also had a family. He was by no means innocent, but he had loved ones as well. Wouldn’t the current husband know what it’s like for
that guy’s family to find out he had been killed as well? Why would he throw his life away? Why was he willing to kill someone who was just on trial for the same thing?
Now? Now, I know what he felt like. I know how much madness he must have felt. Now I know how much you can love someone so much that you don’t see anything but revenge. To make things right when the justice system fails.
And that’s why I can no longer do my job. I have to leave that behind and start fresh. Angel deserves that, our baby deserves that, and I deserve that.
*****
“You’re joking, right?” Parker asks as he sits in his and Tate’s living room holding that fat black and white cat of his.
I shake my head. “I quit,” I say for the third time. “How many times do I need to repeat myself?” I ask sitting back in the couch. I haven’t felt this relaxed in months. It’s been four weeks since Angel was involved in the accident. I quit my job right after that but am just now telling the guys. Angel is doing much better and told me to get out today. Go see the boys, she had said.
“Until my mind processes it,” Parker retorts.
“So what are you going to do now?” Tate finally speaks. He’s just been watching me, and he did not seem surprised when I sat down to tell them I had quit the firm.
I smile. “I want to start my own security company,” I say with a smile. I told Angel this this morning and she cried, which isn’t unusual, but the smile on her face and the way she said she was proud of me had me pulling her into me.
Tate arches an eyebrow.
“You know,” I say rubbing my hands together. “I think I am going to need an assistant,” I say arching mine as well.
“Oh,” Parker says with excitement. “I know this girl, Tiffany. She would be perfect. She would wear those low cut shirts with little short skirts.” He then throws his hand up. “I mean, she would be for me when I come up to visit, because obviously you’re married,” he finishes.
I can’t help but smile as I continue to stare at Tate. “I might know of someone,” he finally says before he runs a hand over his unshaven face.
“Well, I guarantee she’s not hotter than Tiffany.” Parker shakes his head looking from Tate then to me.
“I’m talking about me you dip shit.” Tate rolls his eyes.
Parker frowns and quits petting his cat. “You want to play the doting assistant who does all the bitch work?” he asks frowning.
I place up my hand to stop him from talking before I end up throwing my beer at him. “I want him to be my partner,” I shrug trying to make it sound less than what it really is.
“Is this like a favor because I’m your wife’s brother?” Tate asks skeptically.
I smile. “No, it’s because you don’t mind to get a little dirty. We’re gonna need that.”
He nods his head with a smile. “I’m in. Just let me know what I need to do to help get it on its feet.”
“Wait?” Parker says with a frown. “Why didn’t you want me as an assistant?”
“Because you would be trying to hump every damsel in distress,” Tate adds laughing.
“You are just as bad as I am.” Parker points the tip of his beer at him.
“Oh, no.” Tate laughs. “I’m much more discreet than you.”
“You were not discreet last night when you pulled up with that redhead who was practically already naked.”
Tate rolls his eyes. “She was not,” he argues.
“She was topless and her pants were already undone by the time she got out of truck in the driveway.” He looks at me. “She had a nice set of implants on her.”
I stand up. “Stop,” I say placing my hands up. “Parker do you want in as well?”
“Of course,” he says before he crosses one leg over the other as if he’s a little fucking diva getting his way.
I sigh. “Okay. Then I will start getting things put into place.”
I throw what’s left of my beer away before I say my goodbyes and walk out of the house.
“Slade?” I stop and turn to face Parker as he calls my name.
“What’s up?” I ask pulling my cell out of my pocket to text Angel.
He sighs and looks down the ground. “I just want you to know that I’m still looking for White.” Then he looks up at me. “I will find him. I promise you.”
I nod my head. “I know you will, Parker.” And with that, I turn around and get into my car.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
SAMANTHA
Mark and Vivian have been so gracious to allow us to stay here. One of the best things about living with them is their kitchen. It’s so freaking huge, and I love it.
We have been here going on six weeks now and to be honest, I’m going to hate the day we have to say goodbye and move out.
“How are things coming along with the bakery?” Vivian asks handing me some flour as I start to make a chocolate cake.
“It’s coming along.” Since everything has happened, Missy stepped up and helped me out a lot. She’s actually been around a lot more than usual and when I ask her about school, she either dodges my question or comes up with some excuse to why she’s not going that day. I still think she feels bad about the time she missed out on. “Everything should be ready in the next couple of weeks,” I say.
“When is the grand opening?”
“Next month,” Courtney answers from the kitchen table. She is eating the brownies I had baked only an hour ago.
I start to mix the batter as I speak. “I’ve been thinking about my mom, and I want to do something for her,” I say with a smile as I continue to mix. Sitting in a hospital bed for ten days and then pretty much being on bed rest for weeks after that gets your mind to wandering. I wish she was here to see that Slade turned our dream into a reality.
When I notice the room is silent I look up and turn around. “What?” I ask when I see them both staring at me.
“What were you thinking?” Courtney asks through a mouthful of brownie.
“I want to start a foundation in her name and give fifteen percent of the profits of opening month. Plus I’ll match whatever it makes,” I say with a smile on my face.
Courtney sniffs. She places what’s left of her brownie on the kitchen table and then walks over to me, throwing her arms around me. “That is a great idea,” she cries.
I can’t help but laugh as I hug her back.
*****
“Give me two minutes,” I yell to Missy as I stand in the kitchen of the bakery.
Angel’s Dream officially opened today. I let Slade decide on the name of the bakery. I rolled my eyes when the first words came out of his mouth were Angel’s Dream. But then he explained why he chose that. You’re my Angel. Your mother is also an angel watching over you. And this was both of your dreams, it just makes sense.
Let’s just say with my emotions the way they are now, I cried to the point where he felt bad. But I kept that name because he was right. My mother is an angel watching over me, and I know today she is smiling as she witnesses our dream come true.
“Two minutes is too long. There’s a line,” she says peeking her head through the door.
“Well, then start serving them,” I say with a smile.
Missy sighs.
“I won’t keep her long,” Slade says as he stands in front of me.
Missy closes the door as she mumbles about us having sex back here. “I like how her mind works,” Slade says pulling me into him.
I look up and smile. “Thank you for everything.” I run my hands up his muscular arms feeling the muscles tighten as he pulls his arms around me tightly.
“You deserve it, Angel.” His voice comes out as a whisper, and I take in a deep breath.
Saying I have been horny is an understatement. I want sex all the time. They say most women don’t feel sexy or have sexual wants when they are pregnant. I have not had those problems yet. I love my growing belly. I love the way Slade looks at it and caresses it. He always has his hands on it. I usually wake u
p to him talking to it, and it’s the most precious thing I have ever seen. And since my car wreck put our sex life on pause for a while, I’m ready to get back on the saddle.
His hands glide down my back, and he cups my butt. “You’re gonna make me horny,” I whine knowing we don’t have time for this.
He smirks. “You’re already horny,” he says knowingly.
The door flings open to the kitchen and Parker walks in smiling at us. “No time for that.” He grabs my arm and pulls me away from Slade.
“What are you doing?” I question with a smile.
He spins me around and starts patting down my hair.
“Whoa,” I jump back from him. “Why are you touching me?” I laugh.
He gives me a big cocky smile as his light brown eyes look me over. “Don’t worry. Once I tell you what I did, you will be begging me to fix it.”
Slade comes up from behind me wrapping his arms around me from behind. “She will not be begging you,” he says matter-of-fact.
“Well, then you’ll be thanking me.” He places his hands on his hip.
“Why? What did you do?” I narrow my eyes at him. If Parker thinks I’ll be thanking him, I’ll probably be screaming at him.
Just then then door opens again and in walks a man dressed in a black suit with a red tie. His hair is longer on top and he has it combed back. His light brown eyes shine as she gives me a friendly smile.
“Mayor O’Hare,” I say in surprise. Parker and Braxton’s father.
He reaches out this hand to mine. “Please. Call me Richard.”
Parker snorts. “He really prefers Dick,” he quips before giving his dad a fake smile.
I gasp as I shake the Mayor’s hand.
Richard looks over to his son. “Now that is no way to speak in front of a lady.” He frowns then turns to face Slade. “Slade.” He holds out his hand to him. “It’s good to see you, Son.”
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