I ignore him as I lift the bottle and take another swig, hoping I black out and he will just go back to bed.
Braxton continues to pound on the door as I close my eyes. Blocking out his voice and the noise, I slowly slide further down so that I’m lying flat on my back and roll over onto my side trying to ignore the tightness in my chest. Tate has no idea what he has done to me. What that one night cost me. Hell, he probably can’t even remember that night. And that has me crying out as I wrap an arm around my stomach.
“I’m fine, Braxton,” I say turning in the front seat to look at him. That was ten months ago. “Truly. I’m okay,” I reassure him.
He nods his head but doesn’t look away from the road. I’m lying to him but the part that hurts the most is that I’m lying to myself. I’ve already had one breakdown, I don’t want to have another one.
He pulls down the street to my apartment and I let out a long sigh when I see my mother’s car sitting outside of my building. What is she doing here?
I should have gone to his house.
“Missy,” she says cheerfully as I exit his car, but I know she’s not happy with me. To anyone else her smile and my name would sound friendly, loving even. But I haven’t spoken to her much in the last year. My mother has a way of reading me, and I don’t want her to discover the truth. She will be so disappointed in me. And I’m not sure I can handle that.
“Mother,” I say walking up to her and giving her a quick hug.
“Who’s this?” she asks releasing me and looking over at Braxton as he stands behind us with his hands in the pocket of his dress pants.
He takes a step toward her and stretches out his right hand. “Hello, Mrs. Freeman. I’ve heard so many great things about you.” Liar. “I’m Braxton.”
Her smile brightens as she reaches out and shakes his hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Braxton. But, please, call me Tricia.”
He nods his head to her and then turns to me. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he states before leaning down and placing a kiss on my cheek. I then turn and face her once he gets back into his car and drives off.
“How long have you two been dating?” she asks placing her hands on her hips. She frowns as she looks me over while she waits for me to answer. “What have you been doing? You’ve lost some weight.” Her dark blue eyes narrow behind her red-rimmed glasses. “And your hair.” She reaches up and grabs a loose strand. “What have you done to it? It’s so blond,” she says with a frown. “It’s gonna start breaking off soon. And where are your glasses? Did you lose them again?”
I love my mother to death but she lives in a different era. She never wears much makeup besides the occasional mascara and lipstick. She keeps her dirty blond, straight hair short, and she never dresses up. She prefers to live in jeans and loose-fitting shirts that don’t show off her small frame. But no matter what she’s in or what she looks like, she has confidence. She keeps her head held high and her shoulders back. She wears my father’s love for her as if it were a flashy ring for all to see. I have always felt like the oddball. The one who doesn’t fit into this family. I’ve never felt pretty or had confidence. Changing what I didn’t like about myself makes me feel better.
“What are you doing here, Mom?” I try to ask without sounding hateful. I wanted to come home so I could be alone not visit with my mother. And I refuse to answer any of those questions.
“I called you earlier, and you didn’t answer. I thought I would come over and see you,” she says sounding more concerned than anything now. “You never have invited me over.” Now I regret ever even telling her my address. Maybe I should have moved out of state.
“My phone is on silent. Braxton and I were having dinner,” I explain.
She lets out a long sigh as she looks me up and down once again. I shuffle uncomfortably under her gaze. “I…” She stops and frowns. “I don’t hear much from you anymore. Is everything okay?” she asks looking more worried as she pushes her glasses up on her nose.
I let out a sigh of my own and walk over to the steps of my apartment building. I sit down knowing she isn’t going to leave until I give her something. And if I invite her up she may never leave. “Yes, Mom, everything is fine,” I say looking down to my hands knotted in my lap.
“Then why did you quit school?”
My head snaps up to look at her in horror. How does she know I quit?
She softly smiles down at me before she seats herself on the stairs beside me. “I went up to the college today to see if you wanted to have lunch but I didn’t have your schedule. I just happened to run into a girl who knows you and she told me you dropped out.”
Just my luck. “Who was it?” I ask confused. Why isn’t she yelling at me? Why isn’t she looking at me with disappointment?
“Her name was Katherine.” She lets out a soft laugh. “I kinda screamed and told her that I was your mother and that I would have known if you dropped out of college months ago.” I swallow nervously and she continues. “She started apologizing. She had no idea I was your mother or she probably would have lied for you.” She looks over at me with a smile on her face.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” I whisper feeling guilty for living a lie.
She turns her body on the stairs to face me. “Why didn’t you come to us? Were you failing?”
“No. I just...” I let out a long sigh. I love her and I know she wants to know what’s happened but I can’t tell her. I just can’t do it. I don’t want to relive that again. Not now, maybe never.
“I just didn’t want to waste your money anymore. I no longer wanted to be a nurse,” I say shrugging carelessly. “I got a job at the bakery and I love it there. Sam pays me really well and it just became more important.” I try to think of the same words I told Braxton at dinner earlier. Gotta keep my stories straight.
She looks at me and tilts her head as if in thought. “You know I don’t believe you, right?” I let out a nervous laugh. “It’s not drugs is it?” she asks with concern.
“No, Mom. No drugs,” I say with a small smile as I shake my head. Drugs might have been easier. At least they would numb the pain.
“Alcohol?” she adds.
“No.”
“Hmm,” she says in thought. She stares at me for a few seconds before she stands up and looks down at me. “I want to know what’s going on with you, Missy, but I won’t push it. I want you to come home for dinners and answer your phone when I call to just say hello and have a good day. You’re my daughter…”
“Mom…”
She places her hand up stopping me. “I believe it when you say it’s not drugs or alcohol. And I don’t think that you’re in any serious danger but if I promise not to ask you about it, will you please come around more?” She sniffs as her dark blue eyes start to get watery. I hate that I’ve made her feel so badly. “Just because you have your own place and have grown up doesn’t mean you can’t come home sometimes,” she says softly.
I stand up and hug her tightly. When I pull away she wipes a tear from her eye. “I’m sorry, Mom. I will come around more.” I place my hands on her shoulders. “But believe me when I say I’m okay.”
She nods her head before pulling me in for a hug this time. “I love you,” she says before she turns and walks away.
“I love you too,” I call out before I watch her drive away. I make my way up to my quiet apartment and find myself running a hot bath. Before I get in, I pull my phone out of my purse and check it. Three missed calls from my mother and one text from my friend Katherine.
Kat: Hey girl. I’m so sorry but I think I told your mother that you quit school. Actually, I know it was your mother because she yelled it at me. I’m such a bitch. So sorry. Don’t hate me. <3 you
I let out a little laugh at her message before I place my phone on the charger and then sink down into the lukewarm water in my tub. The talk with my mother actually makes me feel better. It’s hard keeping up with secrets and lies.
CHAPTER TWO
TATE
I sit
on my couch as I think about Missy’s upcoming birthday. It’s in two days and I am getting more and more nervous by the second. I mean, I see her often up at the bakery, and I used to speak to her after we got back from Vegas. Small talk, of course, but she just ignored me. So, I quit trying. Doesn’t make it any easier though.
I first met Missy three years ago when I got a part-time job at her father’s repair shop. I still remember the first time I ever saw her. She had come by on a weekend, and she was the total opposite type of what I usually went for. You have to understand a guy like me wants the type of women who you don’t take home to your mother. You want the ones like Ginger, who wear their skirts too short and let their cleavage hang out of the top. The ones who want attention through sex. The ones who you know will spread their legs on any given day and not ask questions or constantly call you wanting to know where you’re at or who you’re with. You want someone who is as easy as possible, no wine and dine necessary.
Missy was none of that.
She was young and innocent. You could just tell by looking at her that she hadn’t ever seen a man like me before. A man tattooed and scarred—inside and out. The first time I met her, she was wearing a light blue t-shirt and a pair of worn-out jeans. Her dirty blond hair was up in a messy bun and even though she wore black-rimmed glasses, I could still see her pretty blue eyes. She instantly made my throat dry and my dick hard, which was crazy. She was too young for me, and I was working for her father.
I watch the beautiful blonde from behind the glass inside the shop as I continue to wipe off the wrench in my hands with the grease rag. She walks up and places a few Subway bags on the counter. My boss smiles as he looks down at her. She pushes up her glasses as she nods her head to him a few times.
“Quit staring.”
I spin around to see the owner’s son, Jacob, looking at me with a smile on his face.
“I wasn’t,” I say tossing the wrench into the tool box that sits next to me. And I tuck the nasty grease rag into my back pocket.
He chuckles. “Oh, you were. And my father would kill you if he saw that look on your face,” he adds.
“Your father?” His father is my boss. “Why would he care?”
He nods his head over back to the window. I spin around to watch the blonde pick up two of the Subway bags. “Because that is my little sister.”
Before I get a chance to respond, she walks through the back door with the two Subway bags in her hands. She pauses for a second when she sees me and I stand there like an idiot staring back.
Her eyes lower to my knuckles as she examines the scars from fights I have gotten into from the past. They slowly trail up my arms and they widen as she takes in the tattoos that my wife beater allows her to see. Tribal work all done in black ink.
“Missy,” Jacob says, making her jump. “This is Tate.” He gestures to me with a smile on his face.
“Tate,” he turns to me, “this is my little sister. Missy.” He then walks past me and grabs one of the Subway bags out of her hands, leaving us alone.
We stand there for a few more seconds before she takes a step toward me and holds up the last bag to me.
“For me?” I ask confused.
She nods. “I brought you guys lunch,” she says softly. “I always bring my dad and brother lunch on the weekends,” she explains, before looking down to the floor shyly.
I smile to myself. She’s a breath of fresh air that is unlike any woman I’ve ever been this close to. The smell of coconuts and sunshine makes me feel alive and hopeful for something better than beer, cigarettes, and bar whores. But even if she were my age, she’s way out of my league. And for that, I allow the darkness to swallow me up once again. Hope will only make you weak. And weak is the last thing I will allow her to make me feel.
We ended up becoming friends, though. Then, as the years went on and she graduated high school, she got a fake ID. I started seeing her out at clubs and bars and I became her big brother; making sure she was safe and no one tried to take advantage of her. While at the same time I wondered what it would like to be with her. Her shy smile and blue eyes had me wanting more from her but I knew she was innocent. How could I protect her and want to have her at the same time? I’ve never been one to do things the correct way though. But when I saw her in Vegas I couldn’t hold myself back any longer. And I figured by then she had been with other men. I figured she had turned into what I thought of as the stereotypical woman. But I knew better. I was lying to myself. Missy will never be that type of girl. If she hadn’t been drunk, she never would have let me touch her.
My thoughts are interrupted as Parker sits on the couch across me and calls for his cat. As I watch the black and white cat come from the hallway, the doorbell rings. I get up and make my way to the door to see my brother-in-law, Slade, standing there with a smile on his face and a bottle of water in his right hand.
“What’s up?” I ask pulling the door open more so he can enter.
“I found us a building,” he says excitedly. Slade was once one of the biggest defense attorneys here in St. Louis. He made the decision to quit a few months back after he and my sister went through some hard times due to his career. Being a defense attorney was bound to make him some enemies but he never thought that any would go after his family. He has decided to open a security company and asked Parker and me to be involved. I jumped on that. Any chance to beat up some bad guys, I’m in.
“Oh yeah. Where is it?” I ask.
“It’s just a few doors down where Angel’s Dream is.” Angel’s Dream is the bakery that he bought for my sister. He gives me a big smile, proud of himself, as we walk through the hallway into my living room.
“What are you doing?” I ask Parker as I find him sitting on the couch with that stupid cat. He’s now holding it up to his face with one hand and holding his cell out with the other.
“Puss Puss and I are taking a picture.” He snaps a few.
“Why?” I don’t understand why he’s attached to that damn cat so much. It’s a little bitch. All she does is prance around with her tail up in the air showing off her ass to everyone. And if she’s not shitting in her litter box, she is lying on the furniture and shedding.
He rolls his eyes and puts the cat on his lap. “For my profile pic.”
“Profile pic for what?” Slade asks just as confused as I am. “Trying a dating service now?” he asks with all seriousness.
“For my Facebook page,” he responds. “Duh.”
“You have a Facebook page?” I ask trying to understand him. What grown man has a Facebook page? Isn’t that for like kids in high school? I know he’s a horny bastard but I also know he wouldn’t try to sleep with someone so young. He’s a cop for Christ’s sake.
“Of course. Don’t you guys?”
Slade and I both shake our heads.
“It’s amazing you two ever get laid,” he comments before kissing his cat on the head and snapping a few more shots.
“Well, I’m married. So, yeah, I get laid all the time,” Slade answers but Parker ignores him. “And Tate does it the normal way. Bars.”
“Do you know what I look like to women when I post a profile pic of me and Puss Puss?” Parker asks with excitement.
“Like a fucking idiot,” Slade deadpans, making me chuckle.
He shakes his head. “I look soft and sensitive. Women want to friend a man who loves cats. A man who is faithful to his pussy.” He laughs at his own words. “And then when I add them. Bam! They see my cover photo of me in uniform by my cop car. Bitches love that kind of shit!” He smiles proudly at himself.
Slade rubs his chin as if contemplating his words before he speaks. “What happens when they realize you’re not faithful to their pussy?” he asks with all seriousness.
“I delete and block those bitches,” he says matter-of-fact.
“So, it all starts to make sense. That’s how you get all the crazies.” I speak.
He points a finger at me. “The chick you had over
last night was crazy. I could hear her screaming out ‘ride me like a horsey.’” He grimaces. “How could you stay hard after that? And what the hell did she mean by it anyway?”
I smile. “She wanted me to pull the reins.”
Slade bends over as he spits out his water that he just took a drink of as Parker looks at me with a blank face. “I’m not into bestiality,” he finally says as Slade continues to laugh at our banter.
I look down to his cat then back up to him. “Could have fooled me. You sure are attached to that pussy in your hands.”
His mouth drops open and his brown eyes narrow on me. “Don’t talk like that about Puss Puss,” he snaps and I roll my eyes before I turn and continue to the kitchen, effectively ending that pointless conversation.
Slade follows after me. “I got a call from Richard today,” he announces before he sits down. Richard is Parker and Braxton’s father, also known as the mayor of St. Louis. Slade’s father and Richard have been friends since they were in school. But due to their jobs, they are supposed to be political enemies, and they mostly hang out behind closed doors.
“What did he want?” I ask grabbing a water for myself out of the fridge.
“He is having his annual party and wanted to know if we would be interested in being his security.”
“He wants us for a job?” I stop the bottle just inches from my lips and stare at him. “Why would he need security from us?” He’s the mayor. He has a security team that has been working with him and he trusts. Not saying he can’t trust us. Just wondering why he would want us over them. Maybe we are just going to be added security?
Slade runs a hand through his messy hair. “He said there’s been some crazy shit going on since what happened to Angel and Officer White.”
Officer White is the reason why Slade quit his job. He was a crazy cop who tried to hurt my sister to get back at Slade. That memory is still burned into my mind.
Parker, Slade, and I sit in the back of an office up at the police station as Parker starts to play the video that his cop car recorded.
The UN Series Complete Box Set Page 131