Claire's Prayer

by Yvonne Cloete

  Clearing her mind determinedly, Claire picked up the tray of used tea things and found her way to the kitchen. Joseph greeted her cheerfully and informed her that breakfast would be ready in about half an hour. Deciding to explore the garden, she opened the front door and let herself out. Dew clung to the blades of grass and quickly brought a damp shine to her shoes. Making her way to the edge of the garden, Claire walked between two trimmed shrubs and then, stepping boldly forward, she came to an immediate halt. An industrious spider had spun a huge web of gossamer thinness. Not seeing the spider, Claire lent a little closer. The web was intricately and expertly designed. Drops of dew hung, like tears, from the bottom-most strands. A gust of wind caused the web to sway and the droplets fell.

  Turning, eyes still on the web, Claire gave a startled gasp as she bumped right into Seth. Instinctively, she raised her hands to his broad chest, supporting herself away from him, regaining her balance. Contrasting with the chill in the air, she could immediately feel the warmth of his body through the soft wool of his jacket. Claire’s voice caught in her throat as she felt Seth’s big hands settle on her shoulders, halting her fall. Breathless at his proximity, Claire tried to calm herself; his nearness was having a startling effect on her senses. Lowering her eyes, she tried desperately to collect her thoughts and say something to break the growing tension between them. She could feel Seth’s gaze, compelling her to meet his intense stare. Lifting her head boldly, tilting it back, her eyes slowly scanned his face. Mutely, she acknowledged the message in his deep brown eyes, drowning in their depths.

  Rebelling against her tortured emotions, Claire broke eye contact. Unable to handle the feelings Seth evoked, or her response to them, she pushed away from him, turned, and ran towards the house.

  “Claire…” Her name left Seth’s lips in a husky whisper, but she didn’t stop. Silently berating himself, he stalked off around the house towards the kitchen door. He swore softly under his breath. Now he had frightened her… And startled himself. Claire’s effect on him was disturbing to say the least. Seth had found, in the moment, that he’d wanted nothing more than to feel Claire’s soft lips crushed under his. Barely acknowledging Joseph’s greeting, he requested a couple of bacon and egg rolls and a thermos of coffee to take out with him. He could do without sitting across a table from Claire right now: he needed time to gain control of himself and to put things into their right perspective. He was not quite sure how to handle the situation. In previous liaisons with woman, he had always been in control, never giving too much of himself. With Claire, even now his whole emotional outlook was somehow in turmoil. Muttering a curt “Thanks,” to Joseph, Seth left.

  Minutes later, Joseph heard the Jeep screech out of the yard. Shaking his head in puzzlement, he shrugged and finished making himself some toast.

  Claire had fled upstairs. Shutting the door, she perched shakily on the edge of the bed. Her insides quivered as she remembered the feel of Seth’s warmth. Her own response had shocked her: she now knew with certainty that the attraction she’d felt for him had been there, simmering, almost from the moment they met. She had just never realised how powerfully he could affect her. Never had a man evoked such an uncontrolled reaction from her; even now, the feel of his fingers lingered on the skin of her arms. For a moment, she allowed herself to wonder what it would have felt like if Seth had kissed her – if his lips had touched hers… Claire shivered as she hugged herself. She could still feel Seth’s presence and smell his intoxicating scent. Talking to herself sternly, Claire decided to ignore the last half an hour – not that that decision erased the feel of Seth from her mind. As she left the bed and went to open her door, the gong sounded echoingly. Now to face him at breakfast. Straightening her spine, Claire marched down the stairs.

  Naomi was already seated at the table. Sunlight glinted and flickered off the walls and windows, insisting that it really was a glorious day.

  “Hi, Claire!” Naomi chirped. “Did you sleep well? Seth’s gone out in the Jeep, so I guess it’s just you and me this morning. Have a seat and tuck in.”

  A feeling of quiet relief flooded over Claire. Sitting opposite Naomi, she answered cheerfully. “I had a great night’s sleep. And Impunzi looks even more beautiful today!”

  Helping herself to a plateful of mouth-watering food, Claire enquired, “Naomi, Impunzi is such a strange name. Who chose it? And what does it mean?”

  Smiling at her enthusiasm, Naomi swallowed a mouthful of food and answered. “Well, ‘impunzi’ is the Ndebele word for duiker. They’re the small, tawny-coloured antelope: beautiful, graceful and plentiful around here. More so in the old days, though. My grandfather, Sebastian, bought this land in about 1930 but it was my grandmother, Sarah, who chose the site for the homestead. As the story goes, the two of them were checking their boundary fences and stopped near the kopje for an early-evening break. My grandmother climbed to the top of the kopje and, on the exact site where the house now exists, saw a lovely green vlei with a herd of duiker frolicking and grazing.

  “There and then, she made my grandfather promise to build their house on that exact spot, as close to the kopje as he could possibly get it. For years, the herd of duiker still returned in the evenings to graze near the kopje – hence the name, Impunzi.”

  Claire had listened fascinated, imagining the whole scene as Naomi told it. “What an endearing story, Naomi! ‘Kopje’… I take it that that’s the magnificent outcrop of granite rocks on the side of the house?”

  “Oh, yes, sorry. I always forget that some words are strange to foreigners! You’ll pick them up as we go along.” Frowning slightly, Naomi wondered aloud. “I can’t think what could be so urgent that Seth had to rush off before breakfast… Did he say anything to you, Claire?”

  In a guilty voice, Claire choked out an answer. “No, he didn’t say anything to me.”

  Naomi watched with interest as a rosy blush bloomed on Claire’s cheeks. Hmm… she wondered; is there something brewing between those two?

  That morning, Naomi gave Claire the grand tour of the main house. Commenting on the uniqueness of the décor, Claire was impressed to learn that Naomi had redecorated the whole of it. The older girl shrugged off Claire’s praising comments on the beauty and rightness of the interior design, and pressed on: built onto the main house, but totally separate, were the game-viewers’ quarters. Some guests, Claire learned, preferred to stay at the main house rather than in a lodge, in the big, airy rooms, each done up in a different indigenous Zimbabwean colour scheme. The quarters also boasted a comfortably-furnished lounge, where weary photographers could relax and reminisce.

  At ten thirty, Joseph appeared pushing a trolley bearing tea and freshly-baked scones. They enjoyed their tea under a huge, shady tree, which Naomi informed Claire was a jacaranda.

  Swallowing her last sip and looking up with a challenge in her eye, Naomi said, “Well, now you’ve seen the house. Are you ready to tackle the kopje?”

  Standing up and linking her arm through Naomi’s, Claire marched them off. The paved pathways did not in any way spoil the rugged beauty of the kopje. The massive boulders were balanced on each other in a random design and rose as high as the tallest trees. With Naomi leading the way Claire followed, her eyes darting everywhere to take in the splendour of Impunzi – seeing it as Sarah and Sebastian must have seen it all those years ago.

  Reaching the topmost boulder, Claire held up a hand to shield her eyes from the glare of the sun, and turned slowly around. She could see for miles and miles. To the south, dense bush and thick, natural grasslands stretched as far as the eye could see. A shimmer of water revealed a dam, some kilometres away. To the east, Claire could just make out the fenceline and the lodges. So cleverly had they been designed and situated that they fit in with the natural bush as if they had been there all along. To the north side of the kopje, within walking distance of the house, were the dairy, garage and workshop, the buildings whitewashed and shaded by trees.

  “I never get tired
of the view from up here,” Naomi said softly, sitting down. “It makes me look at Impunzi with fresh eyes – see the beauty that we take for granted.” She sighed deeply. “I used to come up here with my mom. We’d pack a picnic basket and spend hours just talking and being together.”

  Claire didn’t respond in words, but met Naomi’s eye and took a seat next to her. Each knew that the other understood.

  Pushing her arm through Claire’s and dispelling the tension, Naomi chuckled as she pointed towards the workshop. “Oh look – there’s my grumpy brother. I wonder what’s bugging him this morning?”

  Claire’s heart skipped a beat as a figure strode away from the workshop. Yes, it was Seth – giving instructions, it seemed, to one of the labourers. Here he was in his natural environment, his dark hair windblown, his hands indicating what was to be done. Claire could not hear what he was saying, but she felt his presence with every fibre of her being. She was shocked at herself. How could she possibly feel so strongly after knowing Seth for only a day?

  As if sensing her regard Seth turned his head, and Claire knew he saw her. They stared at each other across the distance. Then Seth slowly lifted a hand in silent acknowledgement of her presence. Without hesitating, Claire waved back to him. Just that simple communication had restored the peace between them. Watching as he walked off, Claire sighed and turned back to Naomi.

  “I miss my mam, too. There are so many things I wanted to do with her – she’d love it here. I guess I’ve tried to realise that there are no guarantees in life, so I need to treasure each opportunity… you know, do the things we want to do with people we love sooner, rather than later.”

  Hugging her to lighten the now-sombre mood, Naomi said, “It’s hard, but it does get easier, Claire. I’m so glad you’re here.”

  Hugging her back, Claire answered honestly, “I’m so glad to be here too, Naomi. I was worried at first, about coming alone – but you’re so easy to get on with!”

  Naomi stretched out lazily in the sun, reluctant to leave their quiet spot and get going with the office work, which she knew she’d been neglecting. Watching Claire, though, she saw again her guest’s introspection, and her need to be alone. Pushing herself to her feet, Naomi sighed and said, “Claire, there’s still an hour before lunch…” grimacing, she added, “and some of us have to work! So, I’ll leave you to your exploring and shut myself up in the office for a while. If you need anything that’s where I’ll be, okay?” So saying, she jogged off down the path.

  Claire, unaware of Naomi’s tact, surprised herself with relief at being left alone. Leaning back against the hard, warm granite, she let her mind wander. Closing her eyes, she raised her face to the gentle caress of the sun.

  Returning to the house, Seth learnt from Naomi that Claire was still on the kopje. Deciding to get her for lunch, and then take her on a tour of the lodges, Seth jogged up the path.

  Concentrating on the sounds of the wind, leaves and occasional bird call, Claire did not hear him approaching. Leaning back on her arms, she was allowing the peace and serenity of Impunzi to fill her whole being. A gentle smile curved her lips as she recalled the intense feelings Seth aroused in her. If only Kacey were near to talk to – as scary as the feelings were, they made her feel so intensely alive. And they couldn’t do her any harm, could they?

  Seth came upon her suddenly; her eyes were still closed, face raised to the sky. Seth’s eyes strayed over her, noting how relaxed and at peace she seemed – noting, too, the curve of her long eyelashes and the gentle smile on her lips. He felt a tightening deep in his stomach. The urge to touch her became almost too strong for him to control. Trying to block off the feelings she evoked in him, Seth moved suddenly and a loose stone clattered down, bouncing off the side of a boulder.

  Startled, Claire’s eyes flew open and saw Seth silhouetted against the skyline. With the sun behind him, basking him in a golden glow, he looked extraordinarily handsome. He seemed large and vital: a man perfectly attuned to this wild place. Claire’s eyes fixed onto his arresting, rugged face, met his wide-set, dangerously gentle eyes, and felt the physical pull of his mesmerising gaze. Jerking her eyes from his, pushing herself hastily up and wondering how long he had been watching her, Claire drew a deep, calming breath.

  Clearing her throat, she greeted him. “Hello, Seth.” Turning from him to take in the panorama again, she added, “The view from up here is stunning.”

  Moving to stand beside her, Seth silently accepted her right to ignore the tension of that morning, and continue as normal. “Yes, it is stunning, isn’t it?”

  Pointing to the north, he directed her gaze to the lodge area. “Do you see that first lodge, Claire? That’s where you’ll be staying. It’s the one nearest to the house, which you’ll find convenient for meals. Organise with Joseph what time you’d like your lunch sent across, but breakfast and dinner will be at the main house, okay? The lodges can also be self-catering, but I think this arrangement will suit you better.”

  Readily agreeing, Claire followed Seth down the kopje. She sensed an aloofness in him now, but thought it best to leave things as they were. She neither understood nor knew how to handle the effect he had on her, so she chose to ignore it. Her eyes, defying her decision, clung to his muscled form, admiring the way his body moved in perfect coordination. For just a second, she allowed herself to imagine the feel of his strong hands, and the steady beat of his heart under her palm. Not paying attention to the uneven surface, Claire stubbed her toes painfully on a protruding wedge of stone. She welcomed the pain: it forced her to stop thinking about Seth.

  Up in her room, washing before lunch, Claire hoped that the move to the lodge, away from Seth’s immediate presence, would help her to gain control over her wayward emotions. Peace and quiet and some good, hard work might just get him out of her mind. Lingering in the room until she heard the gong, Claire felt calmer knowing that Naomi would, with her chatter and levity, lessen the tension that was present whenever she and Seth were together.

  Lunch was a deliciously mild curry and rice, served with a large accompaniment of side dishes. Complimenting Joseph again on his culinary skills, Claire laughed.

  “I’m going to have to keep a better control of my appetite if you keep cooking like this!” she scolded him. “It might be a fight, but I refuse to leave Impunzi looking like an elephant!”

  Laughing mightily, Joseph accepted her praise. “I’ll take you up on the challenge, Miss Claire,” he smiled.

  “Good for you, Joseph,” agreed Seth. “A little temptation never hurt anyone.”

  Chapter Six

  Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation.

  The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

  (Mark 14:38)

  Around noon the following day, Claire found herself sat uncomfortably between Naomi and Seth in the ranch’s Jeep. She tried to ignore the feel of Seth’s thigh against hers, the play of muscles every time he changed gear. Within minutes, though, her agony was over. For an instant she did not see the lodge nestled between two massive mopane trees. The thatched roof slanted steeply from the top, almost touching the ground on either side. Seth busied himself with her luggage and Naomi pointed out to her the most direct pathway to take to reach the house. She assured her that the pathway was floodlit during the night. The main house could only just be seen through the trees, and Claire knew she would enjoy the privacy the lodge offered.

  The inside of the lodge was ingeniously compact. The front door led into an oblong room, which contained two armchairs, a coffee table, a round dining table and two chairs. A small breakfast nook had been strategically fitted into the far corner. With a quick glance, Claire took in a carved wooden cupboard, on which sat a kettle and some labelled containers. The kitchen area also boasted a two-plate stove and small fridge. To the left, a curtained archway led into the bedroom. A three-quarter bed, chest of drawers, compact dressing table and wardrobe were neatly arranged around the room. The bedcover and curtain
s were of an animal design in browns and blues – another inspired choice of Naomi’s, Claire smiled to herself. To the right, a door closed off the tiny bathroom, which boasted a toilet, shower and hand basin. Claire knew that in this lovely, simple setting she could get on with her life and her work.

  Depositing her luggage in the room, Seth explained that he had scheduled a meeting with Tony and that he would see her later. Naomi noticed the way Claire’s eyes lingered on Seth as he drove away.

  “Come on, Claire,” she said, “let’s get your stuff unpacked, and then you’ll feel more at home.”

  Countering Claire’s muted protest by insisting that she did not have work to do, Naomi helped Claire settle in. Claire felt so grateful for Naomi’s friendliness, and soon they were chatting easily.

  “Naomi, how long have you known Tony?” Claire asked.

  Wistfulness tinged Naomi’s voice as she answered, “It seems like forever. He’s been our ranch manager since before our parents died. At the beginning he was so quiet and sad – his wife and child had recently died and his grief was almost palpable. Now… I know he still misses them, but we’ve become closer and closer. I just wish I was as sure of his feelings for me as I am of mine for him.” Naomi smiled, trying to shrug off the weight of her frank answer.

  Holding Naomi’s hand briefly, Claire felt desperately inadequate to give advice on any relationship – so she did what she could, and put on the kettle to make a pot of strong tea. As Claire’s manuscripts and sketches surfaced from her cases, Naomi asked about Claire’s writing, and an hour passed pleasantly.