Mister Hockey

by Lia Riley

  It wasn’t that she wanted to trash Jed, just to bid a firm farewell to the time of her life that had loved the myth more than the man.

  The part that no longer existed.

  Outside her window, an old Jeep Wagoneer parked. Neve’s car. Breezy drew in a ragged breath as her sister climbed out of the SUV and strode up the front yard with her purposeful gait, fear retreated.

  “Hey girl.” Her sister came through the front door. “Ready to go? We have a big day.”

  “First up, party,” Breezy said. She had to compartmentalize if she wanted to make it through everything they had planned.

  “Then podcast,” Never concluded firmly. “Let’s go.”

  Breezy was going to make an announcement at Granny Dee’s ninetieth birthday party. And later, an announcement of a different variety.

  But she couldn’t think about that yet, not if she didn’t want to pass out from nerves.

  When she and Neve entered Aunt Shell’s house, the party was in full swing. The living room filled with people as well as ninety purple glitter balloons, Granny Dee’s favorite color. Breezy waited until the end of dinner before hitting her wineglass with a fork.

  “Everyone? Can I have your attention?”

  The banter and discussions faded as all gazes swung in her direction. She wiggled her toes in her wedge sandals. Center stage had never been a place where she felt confident.

  “Um.” She cleared her throat. “We’re all gathered here today to celebrate the long life of an amazing woman—”

  “It’s not my funeral yet, dear,” Granny piped up from the head of the table. “Remember I intend to live to one hundred and ten. That leaves me a good twenty more years.”

  “No one in the room disbelieves you, Granny. And want to know why? Because you are like a fine wine.” Breezy lifted her glass in toast. “Getting better and better with age.”

  “Damn straight.” Granny glugged the rest of her glass.

  “But I want you to know that you have helped influence me. As a kid, heck, even as an adult, I wasn’t known for my self-confidence. But you have always encouraged me to live my best self. Be my best truth. That’s why I wanted to share exciting news. Many of you know that after an amazing run, I was let go from the library. It could have really been a kick in the gut. In fact, it was for a time. But then I remembered a line from The Sound of Music, a movie that I used to watch every Easter with Granny.”

  “You know it! That Captain von Trapp makes my hills come alive.” Granny gave a shoulder shimmy while two of the uncles covered their ears.

  “In the film, Maria learns that when a door closes, somewhere a window opens. Well, I wanted to share that I found my window.”

  She reached into her purse and pulled out a manila folder. Her shoulders rose and fell with the deep breath. “Okay. Here goes nothing.” She removed the logo she’d gotten designed this morning and held it aloft.

  “What is it?” Granny adjusted her spectacles, leaning forward.

  “It looks like a bookstore.” Her mother peered with a slight frown. “You’re going to work at a shop?”

  “I’m going to own the shop,” Breezy said, her voice quiet but unwavering. “Itsy Bitsy Children’s Books. I’m signing the lease. We’re just negotiating the contract with the bank.”

  “Let me have a look.” Granny reached for the plans. She perused them for a long minute before giving a nod of approval. “This looks wonderful, Bumper Butt. Really good stuff. See, being a bookworm can be good business.”

  It was clear she directed the pointed comment at Breezy’s mom, who didn’t respond, merely gathered dirty dishes the rest of the room was back to talking, laughing and drinking.

  Breezy watched her mom walk out and despite everything, her Granny’s beaming face, her sister’s thumbs-up, it hurt with a calculated paper cut sting.

  After ten minutes her mom hadn’t returned. Her empty space in the room loomed large.

  She was too old to need her mother’s approval, but that didn’t mean she didn’t want it. Her whole life she’d felt like she let her mom down. Now, here she was, a small business owner. And still nothing? The disappointment in her belly filled with another emotion, anger. She wasn’t Neve, but come on.

  She drained her wineglass and with a belly full of liquid courage, walked into the kitchen. She was a princess and this wasn’t her only dragon to slay today.

  But Mom wasn’t there.

  Breezy looked around. Did she ghost?

  There was the sound of footsteps on the steps and door creaked open. Mom emerged holding a bouquet of yellow-and-pink flowers.

  “Honey,” she said, breathless. “For you. I ran down to the corner flower shop in these shoes. I can’t believe I didn’t snap a heel. It’s like I always say, better to pay for quality.”

  “You got these?” Breezy slowly reached out and took the bouquet. “Really?”

  “I’m not good talking about my feelings. But I want you to know how proud I am of you. You did it. You really did it this time.”

  Breezy stared, stunned. Had she choked on a piece of birthday cake because it sounded like Mom was expressing pride. In fact, she was tearing up despite the fact she wore mascara and expertly applied eyeliner.

  “I know that there were times when I wanted you to be more like . . . me . . . rather than like you. After you lost your job, and right after you bought the house, I was worried. I’d even spoke to Jim about cashing in on a CD to help you with the mortgage. I was going to tell you today.”

  “Thank you, Mom. Really. But that’s not going to be necessary. I’ve got a good loan, but the fact you wanted to help me means the world.”

  “Itsy Bitsy Books. What a cute name.”

  Breezy gave a small shy smile. “You used to sing me the “Itsy Bitsy Spider” when I was little, remember? And you’d always tickled me when singing the ‘down came the rain’ part.”

  “To hear you laugh. You had those dimples. Oh, and that adorable laugh. This new step has taken courage and guts. I’ve been wrong to dismiss you. Wrong to think that you were settling. Granny won’t admit it now, but when I was younger, she thought my dream of figure skating was unrealistic. She advised me to go to secretarial school.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes.” Mom grimaced. “Trust me. She’s mellowed with age. Your aunts could tell stories that would turn your hair gray. But never mind that. Let it go and let it be.”

  “That’s very Buddha of you.”

  “Therapy. It’s a new thing that I’m trying. I just want you to know that I am proud of you. That I don’t always have the words, but there is love for you here.” She pressed a hand over her chest. “And you can bet that Itsy Bitsy is going to be a success.”

  “You really think so?”

  “Honey, you’re my daughter. Once you find your passion, you chase it and let nothing get in your way.”

  Breezy bent and breathed in the blossoms, they smelled sweet and fresh, like hope.

  Chapter Twenty

  Breezy still had one more dragon to slay if she wanted a shot at getting her fairy tale.

  “Where do you want to do this?” she asked her sister that night, after they got back to her cottage following Granny’s party.

  “Let’s try your kitchen table.”

  Once seated, Neve got out her audio recorder. After some fiddling, she nodded. “Ready, Freddy.”

  Breezy reached for her glass of water and took a long sip.

  “You don’t have to do this,” Neve repeated for what must be the thousandth time.

  “No. I do.” Breezy took one more gulp. Her stomach hurt. Talking was scary, but it was the only way. If Jed didn’t want to listen to her talk, she had to veer from usual channels, because at the end of the day, having a deep and meaningful talk with cardboard Jed wasn’t going to accomplish anything.

  If he heard her words maybe they’d burrow into his heart and put down roots. Help him believe her. Help him realize that what they shared was beyo
nd anything she knew leading up to it.

  “Okay I’m ready when you are.” Neve fingered the record button.

  “Let’s do it.”

  Neve leaned in. “Hello and welcome to another edition of Sports Heaven, with me, Neve, Denver’s favorite Angel, although once you get a load of my special guest that could be up for debate.

  “Lots happening the past few days in Hockeylandia, namely the huge shake-up on the Hellions roster with Captain Jed West announcing a sudden retirement from the game. Unconfirmed sources cite the reason is due to a health issue, likely a cumulative of head injuries and a desire to leave the sport to proactively protect his handsome noggin.

  “Predictably, this has kicked up quite the fuss among pundits about the dangers of CTE or chronic traumatic encephalopathy, a progressive degenerative disease of the brain found primarily in athletes with a track record for repetitive brain trauma like concussions or repeated blows to the head.

  “But throughout the story, another person has slipped into the spotlight. A woman who was with Jed when the news broke out. An ordinary woman who has weathered an extraordinary situation of media and scrutiny.

  “A woman who I’m proud to call my sister.” Neve blew her a kiss. “Thanks for talking with me today, Breezy,” she said.

  “Uh. Hi.” Breezy leaned in and spoke to the mic like it might jump up and bite her on the chin.

  “Never expected to have you on my show.”

  “That makes two of us.” An awkward silence lingered. Breezy’s blood pressure began to creep up, her cheeks flushing as a tight band of pressure spread across her chest.

  “Listeners out there might appreciate hearing how you’re a yuuuge hockey fan. Want to fill people in about the Hellions Angels?”

  Breezy started off a little slow, unsure and mumbling as she shared how the Angel women love the game and it has become the compass in their family, the one thing they can all agree on.

  “So true,” Neve laughed. “I don’t normally get personal on here, but I think it’s fair to say that hockey is the glue that holds our family together. Why, I don’t even see you guys much during the off-season.” She leaned in, her face getting serious. “This is funny stuff, but you’re on the show for a more serious reason. You were in a relationship with Jed and he thinks you are the leaker of the story. So today it’s time to set the record straight.”

  “I hope so.”

  “Did you leak information about Jed’s condition to me or any other member of the press?”

  “No.” Her voice was husky so she paused, cleared her throat and tried again. “Sorry, no. I never spoke about it to anyone. That was his business. His health. I’d never betray that trust.”

  “Over the last few weeks you’ve developed certain feelings for Westy, is that correct?”

  “Yes. Since he joined the Hellions, I always had what you could call a crush. I mean, I have two eyes, and he is gorgeous. Plus, I was attracted to his talent and, most of all, that and his sportsmanship.”

  “Then you had an opportunity to meet him?”

  “I did. He came and filled in at my library as a special guest. Through a series of . . . unfortunate events, we ended up spending time together. I got to know him as a man. And I realized that he wasn’t a beautiful face. He has a beautiful heart. He is even better than what you see on television. He’s kindhearted. He is funny. And he made me believe that I could be better. That I could reach out for my goals and achieve them.”

  “If you had something to say to Jed right now, what would it be?”

  “I’d tell him that I am in love with him. With him. Not the image. Not the fame. Not the hockey. With the man he is down to his bones. And that . . . that I’m sorry—so sorry—that I was embarrassed about my fangirling. That I hid the truth from you because it made me scared you would think that I had ulterior motivations. It was a stupid choice that only ended up doing exactly what I was afraid of, making you feel like I was a phony puck bunny concocting a devious plan. Nothing could be further from the truth. I love you and if you are listening, I hope that you believe me. Because it’s my truth.”

  When she looked up Neve had tears in her eyes. She reached over and took her hand and gave it a squeeze before saying, “Wow. Powerful stuff. And I’ll let you know that my sister is honest. She says what she means. If she said that she loves you, Jed, that means that you can take that information to the bank and cash it. The question remains now, will you take her at her word? The puck’s in your net, buddy. And that’s it for our special edition. Now it remains to be seen if true love can win the day.”

  She clicked off. “Now what?”

  Breezy forced a smile that she didn’t feel. It was taking every inch of her willpower not to rock in a corner or chew her nails down to nubs. “Now we wait.”

  Jed had flashbacks as he got off the plane from Oakland. Not again. During the short duration of his flight, his phone had apparently blown up like he was Batman on Devil’s Night in Gotham. He sat down in an empty chair at the gate and checked what the hell was going on. Every message and voice mail said the same thing.

  Check the Sports Heaven Facebook page.

  He listened to Neve’s podcast on occasion. It was part of the reason he’d agreed to sit down for her interview at Zachary’s a couple of weeks ago. The first step on what led him on the wild journey to Breezy. She was known for blunt opinions. And this time, he could only guess that she’d put his nuts on the chopping block for blowing off her sister.

  The past two nights he’d almost called Breezy at least three dozen times. But he had to go to San Francisco. See his brother. Talk to Tamara. Set a few things straight. And what he needed to say to Breezy wasn’t going to cut it over the phone. She needed to be in front of him. He needed to look her in the eyes.

  But as he clicked to the podcast, listening to her halting declaration, his heart turned inside out. His brave, brave girl. What she’d done took guts and all he could do now was hope to live up to the challenge of being worthy of her.

  As he walked through the Denver terminal he grew aware of eyes on him. It wasn’t unusual. Being who he was meant he always had people staring. Usually a request for photographs. But this time was different. People were . . . clapping.

  “What are you waiting for? Go get her!” an older woman shouted, walking out of a smoothie shop.

  “Need a lift?” A driver pulled over on a motorized cart, tipping his hat. “On the house.”

  “Thanks, man.” Jed jumped on, grateful at least that he’d packed light. No baggage.

  Someone whistled. “Don’t let us down, Westy,” a dude in a camo shirt shouted from a bar, raising a nearly empty Bloody Mary.

  “I’ll do my best,” he called back to cheers.

  A shit-eating grin stretched from ear to ear. He’d never been one to wear his heart on his sleeve. But right now it was bursting out of his chest like a damn cartoon character. If he could, he’d hire a frigging skywriter, or singing telegram, or buy out a florist, or all three. But he didn’t have time.

  He had himself and had to hope that would be enough.

  Because he’d been an ass.

  The driver refused to let him jump out once they left the gates, insisted on taking him all the way to long-term parking.

  “I’ve been married thirty-nine years and we’ve had our ups and downs, but know what we’ve always had? Passion. When you’ve got that, everything else can go.”

  He refused the tip.

  At Breezy’s place, it was Neve who answered the door. “Get in,” she ordered, shutting the door behind her as she stepped onto the porch. “Now, let’s get a few ground rules straight.”

  “Or what, you’ll slap me too?”

  She didn’t crack a smile. “My sister put it all on the line for you. Make her a public laughingstock and what she did will feel like a gentle caress.”

  “Hey. I can take it from here.” Breezy stood in the doorway, clutching a mug.

  Neve forked her fingers
into a V-shape and raised them to her eyes before slipping them around and poking his chest. “I’m watching you.”

  “Neve!” Breezy yelped. “Thank you. That’s enough.”

  “Love you, sis. You need anything, anything at all give a holler.”

  With a “peace out” gesture, she was gone.

  They were alone.

  “Can I come in?”

  Breezy nodded, stepping aside to let him enter. Her hands trembled. “So you heard the podcast? I’m sorry, I know I must have put you in an awkward position.”

  “Never apologize. You were amazing. Correction. You are amazing. And I’m an idiot who doesn’t deserve you.”

  She visibly exhaled.

  “So you’re saying that you believe me?”

  “I wasn’t thinking straight. I got scared. Scared that you didn’t see me. That you didn’t want me. That you only were interested in Westy. I wish you had told me the truth up front, but I get why you didn’t . . . why you couldn’t. Because my life is a lot. Like what happened in the past few days.” He took a breath. “It was my sister-in-law. Tamara, by the way. Travis’s wife. She’s the one who talked.”

  Breezy’s eyes opened wide at his admission. “She leaked to the press?”

  “My brother’s condition has deteriorated. It’s fucking sad. And I’ve been so focused on the season, and then my own condition, that I was out of reach. She felt alone. Abandoned. I’d sent money, but I’ve always deposited it into an account that he had access to and turned out he went on a wild gambling binge. Spent everything. They were broke and she hasn’t had a great relationship with my parents for years. They shut down hard after Travis was injured and she’s felt abandoned. I had called her and let slip to Travis about my condition. He told her and in a moment of desperation, she went to the press, hoping to sell my retirement as a scoop to one of the tabloids. It didn’t work but the legitimate press got wind of it and . . . well, you know what happened.

  “That’s where I’ve been the last few days. I had to get out there and make sure my brother was set up. And I worked things out with Tamara. She’s had a hard time, more than any of us could imagine. But I’ve committed to paying off their house and setting up a college fund for my nephew. I have been blessed with more money than any one man needs to be comfortable and helping ease her burden and stress is the right thing to do. She was sorry and I believe her. I’ve never had to walk in her shoes.”