by Robin Janney
Cassie sighed and paid enough attention to the argument to understand it had something to do with her sister’s weight and whether or not she was on birth control. What? No, really…What?
Quietly, Cassie slipped into the room and slipped an arm around her sister. It wasn’t like she was a skeleton! Just a little too thin. The scratches on her upper chest had faded since last night, only the one where she’d broken skin on her collarbone showed today.
“Hi Cass,” said Angela, her voice low.
“Hey.”
Angela looked at her sister, with the hint of a smile at the corners of her mouth. “Nice hair color.”
“Thanks. I thought you’d like it.” She’d colored her hair orange and black for her own graduation, and Cassie figured it was good enough for her brother’s as well. The young woman jerked her head towards their arguing matriarchs. “I can take some heat off you if you’d like.”
Gratitude shimmered in her sister’s eyes, but Angela shook her head. “No, you don’t need any of this.”
“And you do?” Inwardly Cassie sighed. The accident that had robbed her sister of the first months of her marriage and probably more memories than her sister would admit to, had changed them all. For herself, it had allowed Cassie to see the brevity of life and realize that life was too short to hold grudges. It had helped her forgive her sister, and even to admit she loved her. But for all the changes wrought in Angela herself, one thing had not changed: she still let their mother get the best of her.
“Seriously, Ange,” Cassie tried again. Shielding her face from the arguing women, Cassie stuck her tongue out at her sister.
Angela couldn’t stop the bubble of laughter from popping out of her at the shiny tongue stud in her sister’s mouth. “When did you get that done?”
Cassie just grinned, pushing long bangs out of her face. “I don’t tell you everything over IM.”
Her sister’s face sobered. “No, I guess not. Some things you’ll…”
“I’ll what?” asked Cassie at her sister’s hesitation. She had been wondering the other woman had read back through the conversation she’d had with Craig. Especially since Angela hadn’t remarked on it the few times they’d chatted since then.
Angela grimaced. “I’m sorry I fell asleep on you.”
“It’s not the first time, and it probably won’t be the last time,” Cassie teased lightly.
“That makes me feel so much better,” said Angela in response. She glanced at the still arguing women and Cassie tuned back in; they were now arguing about Angela’s housekeeper. Her sister shook her head and Cassie had to agree with her. Craig had built her sister a huge house, and it was foolish for anyone to expect Angela to clean it all by herself. Besides, Nan was cool.
Angela spoke again. “We can talk about other things later.”
“That we can.” Cassie nodded in agreement. “But for now, I think I’m going to shake things up a bit. I’ll get their attention and you make a break for it.”
“No, Cassie, wait…” Angela raised a hand to catch her sister, but she was too slow.
Cassie tapped her mother on the shoulder. “Mom, there’s something I want to…”
“Don’t think I don’t already know!” exclaimed Maude, turning smoothly to face her youngest daughter. “I’ve already heard about how you’re experimenting at school, and with whom. And posting about it on Facebook. Really. Quite frankly, I’m horrified and disgusted.”
Cassie looked back at her sister, who looked as shocked as she herself must.
Angela shrugged. “She didn’t hear anything from me.”
“I know.” Turning back to her mother, Cassie took in the surprised look on her grandmothers’ faces. It was apparently a surprise to them as well.
“While I respect your right to not believe the same things we do, I would have expected you to respect our beliefs and not completely defy us.” Maude shook her head, her long graying curls bouncing. “You’re as bad as Angela ever was.”
“Thanks,” said Cassie stiffly. There had been a time when the comparison would have hurt. And then she stuck her tongue out.
“Oh Cassandra! How could you!” declared her mother.
Angela sprung to her feet, dropping peeler and potato on the table. She glanced at both grandmothers, both of whom were looking decidedly amused behind Maude’s back. Pearl particularly.
“It’s hard having daughters so like yourself, isn’t it?” Pearl chuckled.
“Not now Mother!” said Maude through tight lips. “Angela Destiny Carman, sit back down. Now, Cassandra Joy…”
“No,” Angela interrupted. She took her sister by the arm and began to pull Cassie out of the room. “I think Cassie’s right, we all need a break.”
“This work isn’t going to get done by itself!” Maude’s voice was like the crack of the whip. “But then you don’t know what work is anymore, do you?”
Angela spun back around and whatever panic there had been flared into anger instead. “There’s no pleasing you! I worked three jobs trying to save this farm while you sat at home and did nothing except harp on me for working too hard, but when I get married and my husband hires help for me, suddenly I’m lazy?”
Now it was Cassie’s turned to pull on Angela. “Come on, Ange.”
For a wonder, Angela listened and allowed her sister to pull her away. Wiping tears from her eyes, Angela kept on walking through the house and then out the door. Cassie let go of her but stayed by her side.
“Don’t let it get to you,” advised Cassie. She and Angela paused at the bottom of the porch steps.
“Easy for you to say,” replied Angela, looking at the men arranging the plastic folding tables around the yard. Her sister’s husband looked their way, and he didn’t look happy. “You’re her favorite.”
Cassie refused to be hurt by her sister’s jab. There were still tears sliding down thin cheeks, and Angela looked a little confused as she looked about the preparations. “At least you’re straight. I disgust her, and I’m only experimenting. Imagine how disgusted she’ll be when I come all the way out.”
It seemed to jolt something in her sister and she wiped her face. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” Angela began to walk away from the working men, no doubt conscious of the looks her husband was shooting her way. “Walk with me? I need a friend right now.”
“Sure.”
Walking around the farmhouse, Angela led her sister in the direction of the cemetery. Cassie wasn’t surprised; her sister usually visited it when she was in the area. Only once; never more, and never for very long. With a distance between them and the house, Angela said, “If you decide to come out, do it to Dad and let him soften the blow for Mom.”
“Does that work?”
“Sometimes. Are you coming out to me? It sounds like you are.”
Cassie laughed. “It wasn’t my intentions, but yeah, I guess I am.”
“Okay.”
“That’s it?”
“Your life, your body. You ought to know yourself best.”
Cassie laughed even harder. “That’s what we tell ourselves. Sometimes we know ourselves the least.”
Angela smiled as they wound their way through ancient gravestones. “True enough. I know I’m not always sure about myself. Can I ask, what made you think you might be lesbian? I mean, you seemed to follow in my footsteps when it came to dating bad boys.”
“What better way to piss Mom off?” Cassie shrugged as her sister laughed knowingly. “Little things. Yeah, I dated them, but it never really felt right. I didn’t like kissing them, or them touching me. And I didn’t like having sex with them. But when I was hanging out with Trina or Lexi…I don’t know, it just felt right. How did you know you were straight?”
Angela smiled. “It felt right. You’ll laugh, but the day Stinky Mallone slapped that kiss on me when I was nine, was the day I knew I liked boys.”
Cassie did laugh.
Her sister paused to run a hand over their brother’s gravestone
as they sat next to it. “That’s the nice version anyway. I think I really knew the day I learned Randy and I weren’t brother and sister. We had no idea we were cousins, but I don’t deny my heart did a funny beat when I looked at him afterwards.”
“I remember you saying he wanted to marry you. I’ve never understood it. Most of my memories were of him being nice to me and mean to you.”
Her sister shrugged. “He wasn’t always like that. I wasn’t sure about marrying him, I just wanted him to love me like he used to. Anyway, I never slept with any of my boyfriends in high school, but I liked it when they kissed me, or held my hand.”
“And now that you’ve had sex?”
Angela blushed as she began to pick nearby daisies. “Being with Craig that way is the rightest thing in my world. It’s better than…”
Cassie smiled as she sat next to her sister, not noticing how she suddenly paused and looked away at nothing. “He’s worried about you.”
“He always worries,” replied Angela, her gaze coming back to her sister. She began to weave the daisies together into a chain, and she looked troubled. “But it’s good. Just don’t tell him I told you that. Do you have anyone special?”
Now Cassie blushed. “Yeah, I do. I wanted to bring her home, but we decided it wasn’t the right time yet.”
“Bring her out to the ranch the next time you visit. Jared’s coming to work there this summer.”
“I’ll think about it,” Cassie replied. “Her name’s Pam.”
“Will you want to share a bedroom with her? Craig and I won’t have a problem with that.”
Looking at her sister, Cassie began to feel something was off. Her sister’s eyebrows were lowered, and her hands shook as she made her daisy chain. “Angela, what’s wrong?”
“I…remembered something. But it’s not something I can tell you. I think it was a pinky promise.”
Her sister wasn’t looking at her, was focusing on her daisy chain. “You only ever pinky promised with Michelle. What…”
“Please, Cassie…I have to ask her first. I don’t know…” Angela lowered her head into her hands. “Of all the things to forget and remember! God, I don’t even know if I told my husband before we were married. It’s something I would have, but I don’t remember.”
Reaching out, she rubbed her sister’s shoulder. “Just remember, he loves you no matter what.”
“I know. That doesn’t make this easier though. Tell me about your Pam?”
“Alright, just promise you’ll talk to him when you can. If one memory has come back, maybe more will after today.” Cassie waited for her sister’s nod, knowing it was the best she was going to get. “Pam’s simply amazing, Ange. She’s the funniest person I know, and…”
W hen Philip saw his daughters exit the farmhouse, he didn’t think much of it until Craig said, “She’s been crying.”
But when Philip turned to look again, the girls’ backs were to him. “You’re certain?”
Craig nodded, setting his end of the picnic table down. “I know that look. Even if I didn’t, I saw her wipe her face.”
Philip sighed, watching the two girls make their way to the cemetery. “Looks like they want to be alone.”
“Yeah, I got that feeling too,” replied Craig.
“I’m feeling thirsty,” Philip decided. “I think I’ll go in and get something to drink.”
Craig chuckled. “Which is code for you’re going to go in and see what happened?”
Philip smiled. “That I am. I’ll be back.”
He wasn’t sure what to expect, but Philip walked away and into the farmhouse. As the screen door shut behind him, Philip heard voices cut off. He was met by silence when he walked into the kitchen. Maude was at the table, peeling potatoes even though it was her most hated chore. Pearl and his mother were both at other chores; his mother Rose was washing dishes and Pearl was stirring something in a kettle on the stove.
“Yes, Philip?” inquired Pearl.
Philip went to the refrigerator and pulled out the pitcher of sun brewed tea. “Just after a drink.”
“If the thermos we sent out with you was empty, you should have brought it back in to be refilled,” scolded Rose. His mother’s auburn hair had long since turned to silver. She kept it short and pixie-like.
“I didn’t check it,” answered Philip. He poured tea into a tall clear glass taken from the cupboard. His wife looked as though she was more than a little teary as well. “I’ll have to admit I’m a little curious whether an argument took place.”
Maude sniffed. “Cassie…”
“Leave it alone,” advised Pearl. “Let mothers and daughters work out their relationship issues without male interference.”
Philip wondered if the advice was for him, or if it was a jab at his wife. Or his mother.
“It’s good advice, Philip,” commented Rose, setting a plate in the drainer. She sounded irritated.
“I’m sure it is.” He swallowed some tea and managed not to gag. He may have made a face. It needed sugar. “Just remember it bothers husbands and fathers to see their girls hurting.”
“We’ll do that,” said Pearl with a smile.
“Are you done with your glass?” his mother asked.
Philip chugged the tea. “Yes ma’am.” He handed the glass to her. Impulsively he planted a light kiss on his mother’s weathered cheek. Her smile was bright.
“Are the tables all arranged?” inquired Pearl.
“Almost. I’ll get back to helping them now.” Philip thought about saying more but decided to bide his time. If his daughters wanted to tell him what had happened, they would. If his wife wanted to, she’d wait until bedtime. He turned and left again, pausing outside the screen door after it shut behind him to see if the voices picked back up. They did, but they sounded much calmer now. Perhaps his interruption had done some good.
Shaking his head, Philip walked back out toward the picnic tables, then redirected to where his son-in-law stood looking out at his wife. They had stood almost in this exact spot by the pond four years ago saying goodbye before Craig and Angela had left for their flight to a new life in Montana.
“Well?” Craig asked.
“Mums the word. Whatever happened, the women in the kitchen aren’t sharing.”
“Think the girls will tell us?”
Philip looked out at his daughters. They were still talking, and from the looks of it they were giggling over something. Both girls had crowns of daisies on their heads. “If they think it’s important enough.”
“It’s important to me. Angela…”
“Trust me, Craig, I understand. My own wife looked upset with her mother, so believe me when I say I know exactly what it’s like.”
“I guess you do. Any advice?” his son-in-law asked.
“Listen. Even if you don’t understand. And through it all: pray.”
7
C ori Hadlock Mallone sat on the hard bleacher seat, trying not to sweat. This June was sweltering, and her only comfort was everyone else in the gymnasium was as sweaty and sticky as she was. What was it about graduations? They always had to hold them on the hottest humid day of early summer. Her new husband sat beside her, his warm pleasant scent belying his old nickname. She pushed long blonde hair behind an ear and fanned herself with the graduation bulletin.
“She’s bound to be here,” Cori grumbled under her breath.
“Her brother’s graduating,” answered Alex calmly. He smiled at his wife. He was a large man, though no longer fat. “Of course, she’ll be here, but that doesn’t mean she’ll even see you. It’s crowded, sweetie.”
She twisted her lips and blew air out through them quickly. “That doesn’t mean Crane will be cool with it.”
Alex laughed. “He’s an uptight man. He never finds anything cool. Just relax, Cori. Ange will never see you, and even if she does odds are, she won’t recognize you. You…”
“I know, I know…I look so much younger since I accepted Jesus as my savior. I
swear if one more person says that to me, I’ll scream.”
Alex wrapped his meaty arm around her and squeezed gently. “It’s true.”
Cori didn’t have a comment for that. She gave her husband a smile, but it froze on her face as she spotted the familiar redhead. Well, Angela wasn’t a true redhead, but it really was silly of her to deny the red highlights in her hair. Cori saw Alex follow her gaze but couldn’t tear her eyes from watching Angela as she and her husband sat in the rows of chairs in the middle of the gymnasium with the rest of their large family. That one woman looked enough like Maude Carman that they could have been twins if the age difference wasn’t obvious.
“I still can’t believe she ended up marrying him,” mused Alex. “Did I ever tell you about the time she and I were fighting in the parking lot of his store?”
Cori hid her smile. “The one where he broke it up and picked Angela up by the shirt collar?”
“The only time there was. I never tangled with the girl again.” Alex shot his wife a smile. “I guess I’ve told that story a time or two, huh?”
“Once or twice,” answered Cori with a knowing smile. “She hadn’t even started learning karate yet, had she?”
“Nope. That farm girl has a right hook that could break brick.” He flexed his jaw and rubbed at it with his free hand. “Her left hook too. I bled all over the place. I’m lucky nothing other than my pride was broken.”
“I remember a certain prom dare…”
Alex’s smile was sad. “Bruno deserved that broken arm. I’m glad I walked away from him that night. No telling where I would have ended up. It was too serious for me. Teasing is one thing, threatening a girl like he did Ange that night…he was a fool. He made his own choices. Every step along the way. They all did.”
Cori nodded and sighed deeply. “I just wish I could take my own decisions back. I never thought they were going to hurt her.”
“I know.”
The couple sat in silence, patiently waiting for the ceremony to begin. They were here for Alex’s youngest sister Stephanie. They had skipped last night’s religious service, wanting to minimize the chances of running into Angela. Not that it seemed to matter.