by Robin Janney
“Your sister’s not stupid,” Philip reminded her.
“I didn’t say she was!” But his youngest daughter’s face turned a bright shade of crimson at his mild reprimand.
“No, but don’t sell her short. Like I said to your mother, Angela had a rough couple of years, but she’s blossomed regardless of the trauma she and Craig endured. And she’s in good hands. Your brother-in-law and I didn’t sit by her bedside in silence those months your sister was in a coma. I know exactly who he is and where his heart is concerning my daughter. I’ll do the same with whoever you and Jared decide to spend the rest of your lives with.”
She didn’t seem to know what to say to that. Standing to her feet, Cassie crossed the small room with few steps and leaned down to hug her father. “Thanks for listening Dad.”
“Of course, honey.” He returned the embrace and kissed her temple. “That’s what dads are for.”
M aude lay on her side of the bed, her magazine unread in her lap. Next to her Philip was reading his latest mystery novel. At least that’s what it looked like. She knew her husband well enough to know he wasn’t reading any more than she was. Putting her magazine away, she slid down in bed, rolled on her side and looked up at him.
“Cassie talk to you?” she asked quietly.
Philip slid his eyes over at her. “She did.”
She sighed. “They always do.”
Her husband made a non-committal sound. “All the kids are worried about you. Enough that they talked about it between themselves at some point during the party yesterday.”
“I know I’ve been short tempered and irritable recently, but I didn’t think it was too noticeable.” Had she been so obvious? She’d only seen the doctor a few days before graduation.
“It wasn’t at first,” agreed Philip. He closed his book and set it to the side, his reading glasses coming off his face to rest on top of it. “But it’s been a little more noticeable with all of them home for Jared’s graduation. I thought at first it was just the beginning of the empty nest, but I’ve been wondering if there isn’t something more going on.”
Maude resituated herself and hugged her pillow to her chest. “There is, and I don’t know what I want to do about it yet.”
Philip slid down and rolled on his side to face his wife. With a soft touch of a hand roughened by years of hard work, he pushed hair away from her face. “What kind of problem is it?”
She took a deep breath. “Physical.”
“Okay,” he said, his eyes searching hers. “Have you been to see a doctor yet?”
“I have.”
“And?”
She could see the uncertain fear in her husband’s eyes, and a part of her wished she could tell him she was sick. How could she think that an illness would be preferable to her actual situation? “I don’t know how to say this, Philip. I thought it was menopause. I mean, the timing would be about right, and it would have made more sense. I am forty-five. But it’s not menopause. I’m…pregnant.”
Philip leaned up on one arm. “Pregnant? Really?”
The relief and joy in both his face and voice was like a knife to her heart. “Yes. But…”
“But honey, that’s wonderful! A little unexpected, but we’ll manage.”
“Philip. I’m forty-five. I’m thinking about having an abortion.”
The silence in the bedroom was deafening.
His face was bewildered. She’d hurt him, but they’d learned long ago to be honest with each other.
“Well,” Philip said at last, his face becoming the blank poker face he’d taught the kids. After so many years, his heart was no longer hidden when he pulled this face on her, but she let him think so. “I guess that’s your right. It is your body, and your life.” He lowered himself back to the bed, his hand going back to her face. “Just, keep talking to me, alright? Don’t shut me out, and I’ll be by your side no matter what.”
Tears pooled in her dark eyes. This was why the kids always went to him with their problems. His love was always unconditional, even when it hurt him. Maybe especially when it hurt him. “I’ll try.”
“Just, can you remember two things for me?”
“What?” she asked quietly.
“Remember how you felt when Abby died. And remember your choice doesn’t just affect you.” His hand lowered to her abdomen. He was feeling a little high, but Maude didn’t mind. Even though these were the kind of touches which had led to her present situation. She’d never been able to tell him how much she loved his touch. “It affects me too. The thought of losing two babies…terrifies me.”
Maude nodded. Abigail’s death had almost torn them apart. “I’ll try. But the thought of having a baby at my age terrifies me.”
“I know.”
“I mean, Angela’s the one who ought to be having babies, and maybe Cassie, but not me.”
“To everything there is a time and a season. Who knows what God has in store for our kids? For us?”
Maude nodded. She drew close to her husband, her arm wrapping around him as his own held her tightly. “Does the future never scare you?”
“Sometimes,” Philip admitted. “But when it does, I remember Who holds me in His hand.”
The tears came in earnest then, and she pressed her face into her husband’s chest.
11
I t was the Dragon Dream, minus the dragon. The knight was standing in the heart of their oasis, surrounded by lush green growth. Flowers blossomed all around, summer roses and daises, more varieties of flowers than he recognized. The sounds of flowing water and birdsong filled the air. So much life here.
But his Angel was nowhere to be seen. This was odd. Odd enough that the entire dream shook around him as though the earth was seized by a giant’s hand.
Ever since her entrance into this dream, the Angel had always been present and since their joining in the mortal realm, she’d always been here at the beginning. And now, there was no sign of her.
In desperation, the knight began to search for her. The oasis seemed to go on forever and there wasn’t even a fallen white feather to even indicate that she’d ever existed.
But he knew she had. She did. The memory of her touch, of her scent, of her kisses, of her love, was a burned imprint in his heart. And to be denied her presence was a searing agony.
He had to find her.
Leaving the safety of the oasis, the knight set off on foot journeying into the red sandy desert she had rescued him from ages ago.
In moments, the sand began to shift and writhe beneath his feet. He never thought to return to the oasis. If his Angel wasn’t there, then she wasn’t safe, and he had to find her. He had to make sure she was safe; if she wasn’t safe, he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. The knight took off at a loping run as the red sand surrounding him began to heave.
Beetles began to emerge from the shifting sand, small at first but they quickly grew to the size of horses and continued to grow larger. The sound of their mandibles clicking created a small thunder, and the beating of their wings caused the shifting sand to swirl into a sandstorm.
And they began to chase the knight.
It was a dream, so he was more than capable of staying ahead of them. He’d never reached the point where he could manipulate the dream, but the knight had long since adjusted to its shifts and could easily go with the flow. Both the beetles and the storm they created dogged him as he made for the harsh bluish mountains in the distance. He needed to get to higher ground.
Suddenly one of the mountains, rough and blue, loomed before him. He began to climb, but the higher he climbed the higher the storm rose. Not quite panicking, the knight ducked into a narrow cleft in the hard rock. With the storm raging behind, and the path too narrow for the giant beetles to follow, he decided to follow the upward leading path. It began to slope higher and higher. He kept climbing even though the sides of the cold rock brushed his shoulders.
Up and up he climbed until the rocky tunnel opened on the top of an im
mense plateau of barren rock. A brilliant sun shone in a cloudless sky. He breathed the fresh air deeply but felt no refreshment or relief. His Angel wasn’t here either. The dream used to shift him to her location, and the knight didn’t understand what was going on now.
Walking to the edge of the rock, the knight looked out across the desert below. Below him, the storm continued to rage and jagged lightning filled the air.
In the distance, he could see the shimmering green of the oasis. Surrounded by clouds of sand, lightning flickered in the air. In the oasis, flashes of light blossomed as the darkness descended even there.
Flashes of light which looked uncomfortably like those the Angel produced during battle. Had she returned to the oasis? Why had she left? He hadn’t seen a light show like this since she had defeated the Beast.
“You’re the one who left!” commented a high-pitched voice, grating like nails on a chalkboard. It sounded scornful.
The knight turned, the dream shaking around him again. The Beast…or the Little Beast he was now…was approaching from the air above. He landed beside the confused knight. His wings hung limply down his hunched back, and his pointy ears drooped. He perched on the edge of the rock next to the knight.
“Stupid human,” the Little Beast muttered. He too watched the light show in the distance. “Can’t see the forest for the trees.”
“What are you talking about?” the knight asked before he could stop himself. That wasn’t the proper way to deal with demons. But before he could send the Little Beast away, the other spoke again.
“She’s afraid of her own power. Just like you are – afraid of your own, and hers.”
That gave the knight pause. He looked back out to storm surrounding the oasis. As he watched, three large birds of prey swooped down from where they had been gliding on thermals. He couldn’t be sure, but they looked like huge eagles at this distance. They joined in the Angel’s defense of the oasis, clawing at attacking beetles. Their cries filled the air, their sound unnaturally louder than that of the storm.
“The love you have for each other is bigger than the beetles,” the Little Beast said as they watched together.
“You listen to country music?” the knight quipped, not understanding the other’s cryptic comments.
The Little Beast shook his head, and the knight had the impression that eyes were being rolled at him. “Oh my god…of course I listen to whatever you do. Whatever the Little Angel does. But I’m not talking about the country song. Stupid human. Why must everything be spelled out for you?”
“Right. Got it. Beetles, not the Beatles.” Apparently, the Little Beast couldn’t take a joke.
“Exactly.” Little Beast stretched out his limp wings, fluttered just a few feet off the ground. “She shines on her own. But the two of you are stronger together. Your power feeds hers, and hers feeds yours. And you fool, you have no idea what she has sacrificed for you. I will do what I can to protect her and delay the damage until you return. I should warn you: everything I do to comfort her, only brings her more pain.
He watched in dismay as the Little Beast launched himself into the storm, heading towards the oasis in a jerky lurching flight. But the knight had no wings. He couldn’t just fly back, nor could he follow the path to the bottom of the mountain where the storm and the beetles awaited.
A love bigger than the beetles.
What did that even mean?
How could he get back to his Angel? Taking a leap of faith, the knight jumped off the precipice.
Fire blossomed from the sky above, consuming him as he fell…the Dragon Queen had returned…
C raig awoke with a violent start, going so far as to sit up in bed. He could still feel the flames surrounding him, scorching him.
“Angela?” His arm flew out to Angela’s side of the bed automatically, his hand landing on her sleeping body.
“Oh my God,” he whispered, still feeling the terror of not being able to find her in the dream.
But she was right here, safe in bed next to him. He relaxed against his pillows, relief flooding him even though the terror from his Dream still filled him. Turning in bed, he could see his wife in the dim light from the nightlight in the bathroom. His shadow covered her, but he could see her restlessness.
Was she dreaming too? He wouldn’t be surprised. Angela’s dreams often echoed his; never with the same images, but the theme was often the same. She’d been abducted before his very eyes, so he wasn’t surprised when he dreamt about not being able to find her.
But that didn’t make it any easier. His heart still pounding, he felt his wife’s body stiffen beneath his hand. She whimpered, and he began to shake her shoulder. Perhaps he could get her awake before it became too bad for her.
“Angela,” said Craig, sleep no longer clinging to him. “Wake up, honey. It’s just a dream.” But she didn’t wake, and he shook her harder, spoke more sharply. “Angela!”
She awoke with tears already streaming down her face. “Craig? Craig! Where are you? I can’t see you! It’s dark!”
Was she awake? The franticness in her voice chilled him. He put his arm around her, pulling her close. “I’m right here, Angel.”
She turned into him, her arms clutching at him fearfully. “I couldn’t find you…you disappeared…I was looking everywhere…”
Craig ran his hand over her hair, trying to smooth her tension away. She must be talking about her dream. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d dreamt they’d kidnapped him instead. “I’m right here,” he repeated and pressed a kiss to her temple.
His wife pressed her body against him, her lips finding his in the darkness as her hands roamed his body. “Hold me, Craig…touch me…I need to know you’re here…please…”
What was this? Craig wondered even as he felt himself responding to her touch. Was she still caught in the dream? Her tears hadn’t stopped flowing yet. “Angel,” he said gently. “Hey, what’s going on?”
Her lips traveled to his neck, her hands pulling at his boxers and exposing him to her touch. “I need you…inside…fill me…please…”
“Are you awake?” he asked gently, pushing her onto her back. He rolled to cover her, her legs parting for him.
“Yes! Please Craig…”
“Shh…your wish is my command Angel…” He kissed her neck, pulling her thin silky night gown up above her breasts so his hands could touch and cover them. He kept his touch gentle because those eyes were still leaking tears. But the way she pressed her breasts into his touch, the way her hands reached for him, made it hard not to surrender to passion. His t-shirt came up and over his head almost without his help, her short pink fingernails raking down his bare chest just hard enough to raise goosebumps. Ah, yes…this was why she’d refused to cut her fingernails shorter after her flashback.
He pulled away from her, his mouth taking one nipple captive while his hand cupped her other breast. Deprived of her goal, Angela’s hands went into his hair, ran down his neck and across his shoulders, her nails lightly scratching in the way she knew he liked. His hand traveled south, his palm flat across her stomach and his fingers finding the spot to make her squirm.
“Please, Craig…I need you…inside…don’t tease…”
He slid two fingers inside of her, pulling back to watch her face. The mix of frustration and pleasure amused him. It wasn’t what she wanted, but she was pressing against his hand just the same. Her blue eyes glittered at him as she met the thrusts of his fingers with thrusts of her hips. He thought about letting his wife climax now, but he withdrew his fingers before she could. He didn’t catch Angela’s muttered curse as he pushed his boxers to his knees, because all he was aware of were those tears glittering in her eyes and he had to stop them.
Sliding into her and pinning her hands with his own, Craig thrust himself inside of her and she writhed happily beneath him. He felt the overwhelming urge to shatter her pain with pleasure, so he nuzzled her throat as he moved in her. As the first wave overtook her, it wasn’t
enough for him and he pressed harder and deeper. Her hands squirmed in his, but he held them firmly. This wasn’t about his pleasure, it was about hers. Hers always brought him the most pleasure anyway, and his beautiful wife never understood that. The more pleasure he could bring her, the happier he was.
He brought both her hands above her head, held them with one of his while his eyes gazed into hers. Her hands stilled as she submitted to him, and with his other hand slid down her body until he was stroking the sensitive spot above their joining.
“That’s it, Angel, don’t worry about me. Just feel this moment.” Craig’s breathing was ragged, and he watched those tears finally end as pleasure began to override them again. “Shh, just relax. Enjoy this moment…”
Pleasure overtook her completely and his wife cried out, her body alive beneath his. Determined to give her more, Craig didn’t slow down. Keeping his focus on her, he continued the pleasurable encounter she’d requested. His heart was pounding, and eventually he was aware of his wife begging him to come with her. He could do that.
Gripping her waist with his hands, he thrust harder in shorter, quicker movements as she cried out in pleasure again. Angela left her hands above her head where he’d placed them, and her eyes shone with another wave of pleasure. He couldn’t hold himself back any longer, and their pleasure mingled together.
He collapsed on top of her. “Oh my God Angela…”
She made a soft sound of pleasure, a throaty purr, as her arms moved to embrace him.
Caressing Angela’s face while kissing the line of her jaw, Craig asked her, “Do you really think I would make you stay someplace where I wouldn’t be able to comfort you after a nightmare?”
He felt his wife shrug beneath him, apparently unable to answer. He smiled against the skin of her neck. “It’ll never happen, Angel.”
“Is…” Angela cleared her throat and swallowed. “Is that what we’re calling this now? Comforting?”