by Robin Janney
“It’s been quiet since Cassie and Pam went back home.”
“That Pam’s quite the character,” Jared commented, looking over the top of the car at his sister.
“She is. I’ll let you get back to work. Tell Rick I said thanks for sparing you.” She turned away, pausing at the door to comment, “Tell Kenny I said thanks for just happening to be there too.”
Jared laughed as the door shut behind her. Grabbing the flat tire from the trunk of the car, he looked it over more closely than he had out on the road. He was no expert, but the hole he found in the sidewall of the tire looked too smooth to have been caused by anything natural.
He hit the button to lower the garage door and exited quickly before it lowered too far, taking the tire with him. He could have used the man door to the side, but where was the fun in that?
“Y
eah, I saw her.” Kenny leaned against the wall of Rick’s small office in the foreman’s home. “Tall, skinny, dirty-blonde. She’d be a looker if she didn’t look sour.”
Rick’s frown deepened. “This isn’t the first time Mrs. Moore has been out since Mr. Moore left. Go ask the others if they’ve ever seen her before.”
“Yessir.” Kenny bobbed his head and left the office.
“I feel like I should recognize her from home, but I can’t place her.” Jared lounged against the wall near the window, his eyes darting to and fro even though he knew his sister was safe in her huge house. He doubted she’d come out again today; she’d been spending more and more time indoors.
“We’ll keep an eye out,” Rick stated, his hands running over the tread of the car tire on his desk. “I’ll probably increase night patrols around the property as well.”
Jared nodded silently.
“Nan will need to know,” said Rick. “I’ll tell her later, when she leaves the main house for her own.”
“I could tell her when I go up for dinner.”
“No, I don’t want to risk Mrs. Moore hearing.”
Nodding Jared pushed away from the wall. “Okay. What about Craig?”
“I’ll include it in my nightly email. For now, leave the tire here. If your sister asks about it, tell her I’m seeing to its repair.”
Satisfied, Jared left the foreman’s office with a nod of his head.
A ngela lay on her stomach on their bed, elbows pressed into the mattress as she propped her head up with her hands. Craig couldn’t help but be distracted by how the neck of her spaghetti strap top sagged open enough to give him a pleasant view. When she mentioned going out to the small town nearest their ranch and having a mild panic attack, he began to pay attention to what she was saying.
“It was weird,” she was saying. “Even as I stood there looking up and down the road, I could feel it starting no matter how much I knew nothing was going to happen. There wasn’t one bit of similarity between when Randy was hit and now, but I had the hardest time convincing myself of that.” She paused, her blue eyes looking tired.
“It’s been a while since you’ve had a panic attack,” he said softly, mildly surprised she’d said her older brother’s name without the slightest hitch in her tone. Part of her still grieved for the loss of her older brother, a death she had witnessed, but it wasn’t something his wife brought up often.
“Yeah, try years. Not counting what happened in Tyler’s Grove, but that was more of a flashback.”
Craig nodded. He knew the answer to his next question but wanted to see if she’d admit to how many sleepless nights she’d had. “How have you been sleeping?”
Irritation marred her tired face, and he laughed in embarrassment. “I guess I have been asking you that a lot recently,” he said by way of apology.
“Just a bit,” she admitted grudgingly. “I don’t sleep well when you’re not here. You know that. No amount of reminding me I need sleep is going to help.” Her eyebrows raised at him and she asked primly, “How about you?”
He shrugged. “About the same as you. I’ve had a few bad dreams, but nothing I remember when I wake up.” Craig couldn’t tell her how many nights he hadn’t gotten any sleep at all.
Her face looking hopeful, Angela asked, “Can I come to you yet? Our July anniversary is tomorrow. You promised.”
“No,” he answered without hesitation. “It’s not going to be that much longer. Two weeks at the most.”
Tears glimmered in her eyes. But she took a deep breath and clenched her jaw in anger.
“Oh, come on Angela, don’t be like that. This is the first we’ve chatted in a couple of days.”
“Yes, and who’s fault is that?” she snapped.
Craig sighed, hands going up defensively. “You’re right, I’ve lost track of time the past week and haven’t been available. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
She relaxed at his promise. They chatted a few more minutes about nothing, and when she unable to hold back her yawns, Craig told her to go to bed, they said their goodnights and signed off.
Sitting in the quiet of her room, Angela sighed. Even though it was on the late side, and her brother Jared was sleeping in the house tonight, she turned her music on. She wasn’t tired yet.
She lay there after the lights had been turned off looking at the most recent pictures her nameless ‘friend’ had sent her. It looked like some of his family. She was sure she remembered meeting the brown-haired man at their second wedding. Peter? They were sitting at tables with large colorful umbrella outside of a café, and pretty Katie was at the table sitting in between the two. They were all laughing.
There were also pictures of him getting into a shiny little car with Katie, and again of him getting out back at his father’s building. Her husband looked so happy in these pictures, and it was an image that didn’t jibe with the tired and stressed man she had chatted with just a few minutes ago.
Which was the real him? Why did Katie get the happy carefree Craig while she got the tired and stressed version? Which one of them was he ‘faking it’ with? Especially since he couldn’t even talk to her about what was bothering him? Why didn’t he talk to her anymore? Did her husband think she was so self-centered that she didn’t see his battles?
Rising quickly from her bed, Angela came to a stop in front of the master bedroom toilet as her stomach emptied. This wasn’t the first night her stomach had offered her supper back up to her. Rinsing her mouth out afterwards, she didn’t look at the box sitting on the corner of the vanity. It would wait until morning.
Returning to the bedside, she flicked on the lamp again and looked through songs on her iPhone. Finding the song she’d picked out, she turned it on and began to practice the dance routine she was trying to perfect.
She knew she was being insecure because the other woman was prettier, but maybe her husband needed a reminder of the woman he called beautiful.
It wasn’t like flying out to New York was an easy thing to do. Craig had never showed her how he chartered jets for trips back to Tyler’s Grove. She’d gone to the airport just a few days ago but didn’t know where she was supposed to go or what to do. They’d never taken a commercial flight. Had any of their ranch hands followed her? Would they report to her husband her failed attempt to conquer her fears to be by his side? Nan or Rick would probably help her, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask. Especially depending on the results of the test in the morning.
She wore herself out practicing, Princess lounging on the floor watching her. When she was ready, she’d dance for her husband. And she didn’t think she’d leave her clothes on for it.
Finally settling herself into the bed and turning out the lamp, she felt like she could sleep. If she was right about the morning’s test, she didn’t want to take medicine she didn’t have to.
27
C raig wasn’t sure what woke him mere hours after chatting with his wife, but his heart was pounding. If he had dreamt, he didn’t remember it. Even though the room was cooled by central air, he felt too warm. Rolling out of the large bed, lonely wit
h just himself in it, he crossed the room to the windows.
He had grown up with this view. It had impressed him at one time, but it had grown old even before the night Veronica had come into his bedroom and took what was left of his innocence. He was equally tired of it tonight.
Leaving the window, Craig walked quietly to the small desk where his laptop sat. Sitting in the chair he had spent hours studying for school in, he opened the computer and awakened it. He took the few minutes to log onto his home network.
Choosing the camera in his home bedroom, he waited for the lag to clear up and watched as his wife crawled into bed. Her voice was soft as she talked to Princess as the trustworthy dog made herself comfortable alongside his wife. He couldn’t quite make out his wife’s words.
Checking the time, he noted that they’d logged off from each other more than two hours ago. Why was she just now going to bed? He hoped she hadn’t been up taking another sleeping pill. Perhaps he needed to check with Nan again.
He ran through the other cameras, taking just a moment to ensure that she was safe. The house was empty except for her and Jared. And the perimeter looked quiet too, although instead of two ranch hands on patrol in each quadrant, there were now four. When had Rick increased the night patrol, and why?
Taking one last look at his now sleeping wife, Craig logged out of the home network. Opening his email, he found the last daily report from his foreman. Reading it, he realized his wife had left out details of her flat tire earlier in the afternoon. Yesterday afternoon, he corrected himself without a glance at the time.
He replied, telling Rick he’d made the right call. He also told his foreman he planned on being back in two weeks, and a reminder that Angela was not to be left alone under any circumstances. He knew the foreman was aware of that, but he wouldn’t take the admonishment back.
He also took a minute to order her a bouquet of daisies for what they referred to as their July anniversary. How had he lost track of time? How was it possible he’d been here for over a month?
Hitting send, he closed the laptop and returned to his bed. In the not quite dark of the city night, sleep did not claim him. Instead, he tossed and turned, bothered by homesickness and fear and too many other emotions to contemplate in the semi-darkness.
His father hadn’t made any progress he could see, but the physical therapist who visited daily always seemed positive about something. Les had only been to see the doctor once since his discharge, and the doctor seemed pleased. About what? Numbness in the toes? His father described it as a tingling stabbing pain. And it was called progress. The doctor had given his father nothing for the pain because the older man claimed it wasn’t unbearable. Just unpleasant; those were his father’s own words.
In theory, Craig was smart enough to know pain could mean the return of sensation. What if it was phantom pain? He had spent more than a few late nights reading on the internet, and many more minutes talking at length with his father’s doctor.
If worse came to worse, and Craig feared it might, could he go back to Montana and leave his father here to live without use of his legs? He had no doubt this father could manage and even go back to work, but just the thought created a near panic in Craig. The same kind of panic he felt when he thought of trying to start a new life here in the city. He knew if he tried that, no matter what manner of home he found or created, Angela would never be able to adjust to life here. Even if he found a place just outside the city with enough acreage for her horses, it wouldn’t be the same as what they had at home.
Granted, Craig did have friends here, and family. He had spent more than one evening with Mikey and his family, including Katie. He had spent time with his cousins: the museum with Peter’s family; a ballgame with Peter himself; more than a few meals out with Aunt Meg and her fiancé. Tomorrow…later today he was taking the time to go see his brother Tim at the max security prison he was housed at, even though it was not a short trip. It would have been much simpler if his brother was still housed at Rikers. Craig would be gone all day, and he wondered how he would keep his promise to his wife to not miss any more of their nightly chats.
He wondered if Katie would pop up at the prison too. But who would Katie know in prison to visit? She didn’t appear everywhere he went, but more often than not she appeared like a fabled maiden out of mist. It didn’t really bother him because she was pleasant company. Craig was glad they could still be friends after the unkind way he had dumped her in high school.
It was nice having a female friend he could talk to without worrying about her mental health or worrying about what she might be hiding like his stepmother. He loved his wife, and wouldn’t trade her for anyone else, but sometimes managing her mental health was tiring. Always wondering whether her mood would suddenly turn into a fit of irrational anger, or deep depression. Lately, Angela seemed to fight the doctors, refusing to cooperate with Pat. Granted, he disagreed with Pat from time to time himself, like the doctor’s current desire to put Angela on stronger meds. But so often, Craig didn’t understand Angela’s opposition to the doctor she had approved of in the beginning.
He didn’t have a lot of female friends, a lack he hadn’t noticed until he’d left his favorite female friend behind – a fact his brain wasn’t registering at the moment. The solution to his loneliness was simple, but he couldn’t see it blinded by the stress he was under.
Kevin’s wife Sherry would probably be the first and last name on the list of female friends. Even though they were friendly, Toni was Angela’s friend, and he considered her an acquaintance. She used to be his employee, something he still considered a barrier to friendship. Nan, of course, was an employee. And as for the women at the church he attended, he made sure he kept his distance. He wasn’t interested in friendship with any of them.
For that matter, there were only two or three men in the church he considered friends. But even with them, the friendship was limited. He never lingered long after church services, and he didn’t go to any of the picnics or any of the special programs. He was always in a hurry to get home to his wife who refused to set foot in a church.
For the first time Craig wondered if Katie was right and he was too wrapped up in his wife’s safety and mental health for his own good. It was a thought that continued to keep him awake even as the sun breached the horizon.
A ngela was awake after only a few hours of sleep. The sun had just begun to touch the eastern horizon and for a moment she stood at her wall of windows looking off to the brightening sky. She’d already peed on the stick and because she couldn’t bear to stand there watching it for two minutes, she had come out here to watch the sunrise start.
Her heart pounded in anxious anticipation.
She hadn’t paid any attention to her monthly cycle since returning home from her brother’s graduation. Hadn’t given her supplies a second thought until Nan had asked her if there was anything she needed. Nan usually went shopping for basic household supplies once a month, making the long drive into the city to shop at larger stores. She would have been content with shopping at the nearest dollar store, but since she wasn’t the one doing the shopping or the paying, Angela didn’t care where Nan took their business. One glance at the tampons she’d forgotten to take with her, plus the unused ones bought in Tyler’s Grove, had her looking at the app on her phone and she was shocked to see her period was late. It could just be stress, but she decided it was better to be safe than sorry.
She hadn’t said anything to her housekeeper other than listing off the supplies she did need and had then taken herself into Three Corners to the small dollar store for a pregnancy test. Which should be about done. She glanced at the timer on her phone and began to walk back to the bathroom. The timer went off even as she crossed through the bathroom door.
Turning it off and setting her phone on the marble counter away from the sinks, Angela picked the test stick with tightly closed eyes. Not entirely sure which result she wanted to see, she sent a quick prayer heavenward.
Two lines meant pregnant.
Her heart skipped a few beats.
Her free hand ran over her stomach, unable to comprehend the possibility of a small new life growing inside of her.
What was she supposed to do now?
If she were to call her husband with the news, would he come home? She couldn’t remember right now if they’d ever talked about children. Had they?
It was too early in the day to make an appointment to see Dr. Ryan, but Angela could leave a quick message at his office number. Just to say she wanted an appointment at his earliest convenience. She didn’t feel comfortable calling his home number like Craig did.
The thought of her medicines in the dispenser downstairs in the kitchen changed her mind. Nan or Craig always checked it to make sure she’d taken her medicine. Was the doctor used to being awakened by phone calls from patients? wondered Angela as she waited for someone to pick up. Maybe he would let it go to his voicemail.
“Yes?” asked the doctor’s sleepy voice after the fourth ring.
“Hi Dr. Ryan, it’s Angela Moore.” God, she sounded so nervous!
“What’s wrong, Angela?” The doctor’s voice took on a sharp edge.
“Nothing, not really. It’s just…” She cleared her throat. Dr. Evans never spoke to her like this, but not everyone could be like him. “I’m sure I’ll be in to see you later, but I wanted to let you know I just took a pregnancy test, and it came up positive. I was wondering what medicines I should stop taking.”
“All of them,” Ryan replied without hesitation. The sharpness left his voice. “I’ll leave a message at my office saying you’re to be seen today even if we need to double book. Once the pregnancy’s confirmed, I’ll call Pat and let her know.”
Angela nodded automatically. “Alright. I’ll see you sometime later.”
Hanging up, Angela drew a deep breath.
She had no doubt her pregnancy would be confirmed. She just wasn’t sure yet whether she was happy about it.