by Jamie Knight
“Trent, I’m glad that you could join us,” said Belva.
Jace paused, firmly grasping Trent’s elbow, looking in his eyes. I could almost see the lightbulb go off as Jace understood what was going on.
Trent righted himself, straightening the jacket of blazer.
“Trent? You…?” said Jace, slowly.
Trent smirked, confirming my fears: this was going to be bad. Very bad.
“We just have a few questions and hopefully we can clear some things up and move on,” said Belva, ignoring Jace’s words, turning toward me. “There have been some allegations of Ms. Carson at your home, something that I know that you know is completely unethical and wrong, since we have discussed this topic ad naseum. Is this true?”
She looked back and forth between Jace and I, waiting to see which one of us was going to answer. Jace didn’t say anything. Trent snickered, crossing his arms while he rested on the crutches.
I wanted to deny it, tell her that she must have been mistaken. That maybe it was someone else. Or that I had been visiting someone in a different apartment. But then, I knew that they would ask questions that I didn’t have the answers to.
And the way that Trent stood there, smugly smiling in our direction, I was almost sure that he had some kind of proof of me being there. He hobbled over to stand next to Belva’s desk, smiling an evil smile.
“I was there,” I said quickly. Trent almost fell off of his crutches and his mouth fell open.
“Wha-what do you mean?” he sputtered.
“Yeah, I thought that I saw you at the back door when I was out front,” I said, turning toward Trent. “I waved, but I thought that you didn’t see me.”
“I-I…” Trent said, scratching his head and trying to keep his balance.
“And what were you doing at his apartment, Ms. Carson?” asked Belva, standing up and putting her hands on her hips. She glared at me so hard, I thought that her eyes were going to shoot laser beams in my direction.
“I’m doing an internship with Dr. Rivers and Mr. Vaanker. We had worked on an experiment and I was dropping of the test results. I know that Mr. Vaanker had been out because of his ankle and I wanted to make sure that I stayed on top of my responsibilities. Did I do something wrong?"
“Oh, no. Not at all,” said Belva, her hand over her chest. She looked like she was sighing deeply with relief. Trent’s shoulders slump in defeat looking like he had had the wind knocked out of him.
“But…but…” said Trent, a finger raised toward Belva. Belva put up her hand as if silencing him, staring squarely at Jace. Jace stood quietly watching, his eyes dancing between Belva, Trent, my parents, and me. His shoulders were tense and his eyebrows were furrowed with concern. I knew how he felt. Probably a lot how I did: in the middle of a tornado.
“Well, is it true?” said Belva, her voice losing its professional tone as she badgered him curiously.
Jace’s eyes landed on me and stayed there.
“She was there,” he said, softly.
He didn’t say anything about the test results. And Belva didn’t press. She seemed satisfied by his answer. She clapped and took a few steps toward the door.
“Then, it’s settled,” said Belva loudly, visibly happy. “Now we can put all of this business behind us. I’m sorry to have wasted your time Mr. and Mrs. Carson.”
My parents didn’t look nearly as relieved as Belva did. In fact, they looked like they had just witnessed a horrific car accident. They looked at each other, worriedly, their hands locked together like they were afraid that, if they let go, they might blow away.
“It’s quite alright,” said my father, the calmer of the two. “I’m just glad that this was all just some misunderstanding.”
Trent started huffing, his fists clenched by his side as he stared back and forth between Jace, Belva, and me.
“Well, he… Dr. Rivers reinjured my ankle. Surely there’s got to be some punishment to him for that,” said Trent, the smug look creeping back on his face.
Belva whirled around, sending a soft breeze through the room.
“You attacked him?” she screeched. “Explain yourself!”
“No, calm down, Belva. You have known me for… how many years? From when I got my start teaching at the community college, to when I worked my way up in general science courses, to now that I was sought out specifically to fill the opening for the more advanced Organic Chemistry course teaching position. Even when you might have thought that I have had reason to, I have never lashed out at a student, faculty, or anyone else. Ever. Trent here had come into my apartment and had had some unsavory comment about… someone… and I just told him that I didn’t appreciate that kind of talk about women.”
“Well, what did he say?” asked Belva, her head cocked toward him.
Jace surveyed the room, pressed his lips together, and stared at the floor.
“I’d rather not say that in mixed company,” he said, leaning toward Jace, lowering his voice to a whisper.
Belva turned and looked at my parents and me, smiling sheepishly and apologetically. I could only imagine what my parents were thinking, looking at the drama that we had been roped into.
“I had simply suggested that he learn some manners and helped him out the door with a little shove,” said Jace, standing up tall, staring confidently toward Belva. My mother perked up at the display of manliness that he was giving. I had to hide a smile, impressed myself.
Belva looked at Jace for a few moments, a look on her face like she was trying to decide if she should believe him or not. Her face melted into a smile and she nodded at Jace.
“Thank you for your honesty, Mr. Rivers,” she said, her voice smooth and even. “I admire your chivalry and ethics. However, I will have to write you up for this. And absolutely no more students at your home again. For any reason. I’ll draft a contract outlining as much and I’ll put it in your mailbox for you to sign.”
She headed over her desk, picked up a pen, and started scribbling on a yellow notepad that had been sitting on her desk.
“I’ll look it over and let you know what I decide to do,” said Jace coolly.
Belva’s head snapped up. She stared at him, seething.
“What do you mean you’ll have to think about it?” demanded my father, startling everyone in the room. “This is not quite a discussion! What are you really up to?”
“What I am or am not up to is not the topic of discussion that I wish to have with my employer, especially when it comes to what I do in my personal space,” said Jace, his voice firm and clear, staring straight at Belva. “When I took this job, I was assured that I would be able to live life as I saw fit without a lot of rules and regulations from the university. I signed one contract about my outside of work activity. What’s to stop an endless parade of contracts for me to sign? And I’m not saying that I won’t sign it. I am simply saying that I will look it over and let you know what I decide.”
I couldn’t help but be turned on by how Jace stood up for himself. For us. It made me proud to know him, despite this uncomfortable situation.
“Was there anything else that you needed from me?” I asked, my voice almost cracking, I was so quiet. I almost didn’t recognize my own voice. All of the eyes turned toward me again.
“Oh, right,” said Belva, stepping toward my parents still sitting in front of her desk. “Mr. and Mrs. Carson, I thank you again for your time. You can leave whenever you are ready.”
My parents stood up slowly, my mothers arm locking into mine. They said goodbye and pulled me down the long hallway, my feet falling over themselves as I tried to keep up pace with my speeding parents. I tried to ground my feet to a halt, but my mother was stronger than I thought.
After a while, I just stopped fighting and tried to keep my balance as we made our way out the door and to their Volvo. My mother pushed me inside and got in beside me, not giving me a chance to get out. My father jumped into the front seat, started up the car, and pulled away.
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nbsp; “What in the world are you doing?” I asked, staring at my silent parents as they both tried hard not to look at me. I could see the worry etched on their faces.
“You’re coming home with us,” said my father.
“What do you mean?” I said, starting to worry myself. “I have a lot going on and I just can’t leave right now.”
My mother put a hand up toward me, signaling for me to stop talking.
“Izzy, we were called down here as a sign,” my mother said, rubbing my cheek with the back of her hand. “There is too much going on here right now and you need to come home and regroup. You look terrible, like you aren’t sleeping or eating. No. No. You’re coming home.”
My mother turned away from me to face the window, her arms crossed across her chest.
I knew that was the sign that my mother had made up her mind and there was nothing that I could do to change it. Plus, I was tired and worried myself. Some time at home might give me a chance to clear my head and figure some things out so that I could deal with this whole mess between Jace and I, which seemed to get more and more complicated by the minute.
“Or maybe we should think about nixing this whole college idea in the first place…” said my father.
“No!” I yelled, protesting loudly. “I’ll come home now for a little bit. But I’m coming back. And that’s that.”
I crossed my arms, signaling that my mind had been made up. My mother turned and looked at me, smiling. She laughed, hugging my head against her chest.
“Oh, of course you are, honey,” she said. “I want you to be happy.”
“I do, too,” said my father, gruffly. “But, over my dead body will you be going back to that school! They need to get their affairs in order before they think that they are going to educate the likes of my genius daughter.”
I laughed easily, watching the university and all its building disappearing quickly behind me. Worry started creeping up again. I wasn’t sure that I should have been leaving. But I also wasn’t sure what I should do. Should I go? Or should I stay?
But I knew that how my parents were feeling, I would probably have to take a running leap out of a moving car to get out. So, I was going home.
It might not be so bad to go home and be babied by my parents for a while. That way, I could just relax while I devised a master plan of how I was going to fix the mess that I was leaving behind.
Chapter 15
Jace
Days whirred by as I tried to shake the cringy feeling that I felt from being in Belva’s room with Izzy, her parents, and Trent. It was like my worst nightmare realized.
I felt like I had walked in on some sort of ambush and, even though things seemed to smooth themselves out right away, it left a bad taste in my mouth. That was certainly not the way that I had intended on meeting Izzy’s parents. And in a way that insinuated that I was anything less than a great teacher with the best of intentions for their daughter.
And I had Trent to blame for all of it. Somewhere along the way between research and the internship, Trent had changed. Just thinking about his smug face standing there, thinking that he had somehow one upped me, made me want to find him and give him one good hit. It was probably a good thing that I hadn’t run into him since the meeting in Belva’s office.
Izzy had been wonderful, though. She had handled it with so much maturity and ease. But, of course she did. She is a class act.
She was also a huge part of the reason why I didn’t want to sign Belva’s contract. Even though we were keeping our relationship a secret, agreeing in writing not to have her at my place seemed too final. I wasn’t ready for it to be over yet. So, I let the contract sit on my kitchen counter for days while I thought about what she had put in it.
The contract said that no students were to be in my home, vehicle, or alone with me in a classroom without supervision. I felt like she was really reaching, like I was being put on some kind of probation or something.
I didn’t like it.
After spending a few days, thinking about it, I decided to go into Belva’s office and have her change it. Or maybe I could convince her to get rid of the contract altogether. I shaved, put on my best suite, and slapped some expensive cologne on before making my way to the administrative offices, where Belva’s office was. I had already emailed her and let her know that I would be on my way, so I expected her to be waiting for me.
Walking the long walk down the hallway to her office felt like walking to my death. I tried to tell myself that everything would work itself out. But, this was such a delicate situation. And between Belva and Trent, it seemed like I was under surveillance.
When I got to her office, the door was open and she was on the phone. She nodded toward me by way of greeting, putting a finger up, indicating that I should wait until she finished her conversation on the phone. She chatted for a few more minutes, sounding friendly and light. When she hung up the phone, her face turned dark and brooding and her voice sounded so cold.
“You brought the signed contract with you, correct?” she asked, her eyes piercing as they watched me closely over her folded hands. I pulled out the contract and let it fall onto her desk
“It’s not signed,” I said. “But, I do have a few questions.”
Belva blew out an exasperated sigh and looked over at me incredulously.
“What is there to know? Everything was outlined very clearly in the contract. And now that Izzy has disappeared, there are so many other questions that I have to leave unanswered. I really just want to put all of this embarrassing mess behind us. You signing the contract is just an act of good faith, stating that you understand that you need to remain professional and that, in doing so, you get to keep your position here at the school. What is so hard about that?”
Belva looked like she was about to pull her hair out she was so frustrated. I understand her position, as the enforcer of rules. But, I just felt like it was the beginning of the end for me to agree to have the university dictating so much of my life.
But, then again, I DID need to think more about my career. I had spent years building my reputation. Was I really willing to let it all come crashing and burning down because of a few rolls in the hay with Izzy?
And Belva said she disappeared. If that was true, then that means that she really never was invested in our relationship anyway, whatever kind of relationship we had. My heart sank at the thought of not being able to see her anymore. But I also felt twinge of something else: anger.
Here I had put everything on the line for this girl, extended myself in ways that I have never extended myself to other students. I took her into my home, into my bed. I really cared for her, not just physically, but I cared about her education, about her feelings. And given the first chance, she heads for the hills, leaving a bunch of unsigned contracts and stipulations in her wake.
I realized that I was overthinking things. I pulled the contract out of my bag, flipped through the papers until I found the signature line, and signed my name.
I knew that signing the contract was smart. I could keep things cool at my job and settle this issue with Belva so that she could stop sniffing around. Putting this issue to bed kept her from getting any closer to finding out about my indiscretions with Izzy.
I kicked myself for even hesitating the sign it. If Izzy hadn’t thought twice about throwing our relationship into the trash and she had less at stake than I did, what was my deal?
I couldn’t help but feel like signing it was fucking wrong. But what was done was done.
My next order of business, though, was finding a new research assistant. I figured while I was there and had Belva’s attention, I should at least ask her about letting me get some new ones. I definitely wasn’t going to work on another assignment with Trent after all of the trouble that he had tried to cause.
“Hey, Belva, while I’m here, any chance you can sign on of me finding some new research assistants? Things have been pretty backed up here lately and I could use a hand.”
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Belva looked up at me, her eyes searching my face. I kept it cool, not giving her any indication that there was a problem. I didn’t want to give Trent the satisfaction of knowing that he had moved anything in my world. I did, though, look forward to being able to tell him that his time with me at the university had come to an end.
As much as I had enjoyed working with him in the past, the recent events let me know what he was capable was. I wasn’t going to let him get away with it.
“Sure, no problem,” said Belva, turning her attention to a stack of papers that were teetering on the edge of her desk.
“Thank you,” I said, slipping out of the room quietly.
I headed out of the building back to the main building where my own office was. I pushed the door open and closed the door behind me. I walked over to my desk and pulled out some of the files that had my students’ info in it.
Surely there must have been some promising students who would do well as research assistants. I thumbed through a few files. It didn’t take me long to land on Izzy’s name.
I stared at her name, my hopeful and eager mind wishing that there was some way that I could pull her out of the file like some portal to another world. But I knew that that wouldn’t happen. The file did have her home phone number in it, though.
I had been calling her cell phone since that day we were in Belva’s office, but I hadn’t got an answer. It must have been turned off because it was going straight to voicemail. I pulled out the number and stared at it, holding my phone in my hand nervously.
I knew that calling her house was a huge risk, especially considering how testy things had gotten when we last saw each other, but I had to talk to her, to hear her voice, to find out what had happened.
More than anything, I wanted her to know the truth about how I felt about her and that I wasn’t ready for it to be over. Maybe if she knew that, she would come back.
I dialed the number and let it ring. It rang three times before a gruff, deep voice answered.
“Hello?”
“Yes, hello, hi. This is Dr. Rivers. Is Izzy available?”