by Linda Turner
By four-thirty, he’d had enough self-torture, and he was just closing up shop when Mary drove up. Dressed in a new bright red sweater and green wool slacks, she took one look at him and started to fuss. “I can’t believe you worked. Dammit, Lucas, it’s Christmas Day!”
For the first time in what seemed like weeks, he smiled. “People get sick every day of the year, Mary. And you shouldn’t be cussing. What would Henry say?”
“That I should have come over here and dragged you by the ear to the house hours ago,” she retorted. Bustling around the waiting area, she started switching off the lights. “Get your things. You’re coming home with me for a good hot meal. You look like you haven’t eaten in days.”
“I’ve been busy. I wasn’t hungry.”
“And we both know why.”
Caught in the act of pulling on his jacket, he sent her a sharp look. “Don’t start, Mary. I don’t want to hear it.”
“Then quit walking around like you lost your best friend,” she told him, pushing him out the front door and locking it behind her. “That girl’s got you so tied in knots, you can’t even see straight. And what do you do? You let her fly out of here like you don’t give a damn.”
“I don’t.”
“Horse hockeys! When you get home tonight, take a good hard look in the mirror. If that somber mug of yours is the face of a man who doesn’t give a damn, I’m skinny, white and blond.”
Lucas laughed—he couldn’t help it. “Not in a million years, Littlejohn. Now, if you’re through chewing me out, what was that you said about food? I think I could go for a piece of that pecan pie of yours right about now. And a hot cup of coffee.”
He was deliberately changing the subject, and they both knew it. For now, though, she was willing to let him get away with it…until he needed chewing out again. “You’re in luck,” she said as she followed him down the steps. “There’s one piece left, and it’s got your name on it. Let’s go.”
A few minutes later, Mary served him not only the treasured piece of pie, but also a complete dinner of turkey and dressing and all the fixings that went with it. By the time he finally got out of there and made it home, he was stuffed to the gills and feeling a lot less like Scrooge. For the first time since he and Rocky had made love in that midget of a tent in the mountains, he went to bed and slept like a baby, which was a blessing in disguise. Because the next day, the flu hit.
It rushed through the county—and the reservation—like wildfire, mowing down the old and the young and just about everyone in between who got in its way. Long before his alarm went off, Lucas started getting calls. Leaving Mary to deal with those who could make it into the clinic, he loaded down his Bronco at dawn and hit the road to help those who were too sick to leave their beds.
For over a week, he spent all day, every day, running from one end of the reservation to the other, leaving before sunrise and returning long after dark to a cold, silent house. Somehow, with all she had to do, Mary managed to have a plate of food waiting for him in the refrigerator—all he had to do was heat it up in the microwave. Sometimes he did; other times, he ate it cold and couldn’t have said what he was eating. He was too tired to care. Exhausted, he fell into bed at night and never moved again until the alarm went off in the morning.
He lost track of time and never noticed. Then, two days after New Year’s, he stopped at a gas station to fill up his Bronco and came face-to-face with Rocky. He hadn’t even known she was back.
Stunned, he stared at her like a mountain man who had been too long without a woman. Damn, she looked good. Soft, delicate, feminine right down to toenails that he knew for a fact were buffed and painted. He wasn’t a man who cared for fur on a woman, but the white rabbit that lined the hood of her forest-green suede parka contrasted beautifully with her wine-red hair. Her skin would be as soft as that rabbit. And warm. He hadn’t forgotten how warm she could be on the coldest night. It was a knowledge that would be with him if he lived to be ninety.
Wondering how she could possibly have gotten prettier in the scant two weeks she’d been away, he shoved his hands into his pockets to keep from reaching for her. “Welcome back,” he said coolly. “When’d you get in?”
As polite and distant as he, she shrugged and forced a smile. “A couple of days ago. I hear you’ve been out single-handedly trying to nip the flu bug in the bud. How’s it coming?”
A couple of days! Lucas thought, taking the words like a blow. She’d been here a couple of days, and she was just now getting around to telling him? After the night they’d spent together? If he’d had any time to wonder over the past few weeks just what she thought of him and the lovemaking that had set him back on his heels, he’d just had his answer.
“Fine,” he said shortly, suddenly furious. “It’s going just fine. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I should have been at the north end of the reservation thirty minutes ago. Some of us have to work for a living.”
He stalked past her without another word, and he never knew that he’d left her standing there with her mouth open. Staring after him, she said, “What? What’d I say?”
Six
The first three weeks of the New Year, Rocky suddenly found her business taking off like a rocket. A handful of rich college students, looking for adventure before they had to return to school for the spring semester, hired her to fly them into the mountains to ski. Kept busy ferrying them around in search of fresh powder every day for nearly a week, she’d hardly finished with them when a real estate developer with dreams of starting another Aspen hired her to fly him all over western Wyoming, southern Montana, and eastern Idaho. He never did find what he was looking for, but he didn’t blame her, and he promised to be back within a month to look for more property.
Not surprisingly, she rarely saw Lucas, which she told herself was just fine with her. The weeks she’d spent with her family over the holidays had given her some time to think, and she was more convinced than ever that a relationship between her and Lucas could never work. He was too much like Greg. And the man didn’t even think she worked for a living. That rankled! If she was lonely and her heart contracted every time she did happen to catch a glimpse of him in town, that was just something she’d have to deal with. Some things weren’t meant to be.
But she couldn’t sleep without dreaming of him, and in the mornings she woke up dragging, her energy nonexistent. She managed to get through the days, but it was only through sheer strength of will. Exhausted, unable to catch up on her sleep, she heard about the flu that was still claiming victims all over the county and had a horrible feeling she was getting it. Charlie, worried about her, grumbled that she needed to see a doctor and nagged at her until she finally agreed.
Because she wanted to see Lucas so badly, she forced herself to go to someone else. A Dr. Hawkins, a grandfatherly type who had a family practice in town, was able to squeeze her in late one Tuesday afternoon. Expecting him to order her to bed with plenty of fluids, Rocky waited patiently for his diagnosis. But when he finally gave it, she couldn’t have been more surprised if he’d told her she was slowly turning purple.
“You’re pregnant.”
Dumbfounded, Rocky could only stare at him. “What?”
A twinkle of amusement glittered in his faded blue eyes. “Obviously you weren’t expecting this. You’re going to have a baby, Rocky. Your very own bundle of joy. I hope this is good news.”
Her mind reeling, she couldn’t think. A baby. She was going to have a baby. Lucas’s baby. Shock hit her, then joy, swift and fierce, right on its heels. Feeling as if she’d stepped onto a roller coaster that was already flying over the first rise, she started to grin as laughter bubbled up inside her. Lord, how she’d envied Caroline when she held baby Kate for the first time. And now she was going to have a baby of her own. She had to tell the family…and Lucas….
In the split second it took for that thought to register, her joy burst like an overinflated balloon. Lucas, who still loved his dead wife and thought she
was nothing but a spoiled little rich girl. Just because she was having his baby, that didn’t mean he would ever look at her the way Nick looked at Caroline and Rafe looked at Allie.
“Problems?” Dr. Hawkins asked quietly.
She blinked and came out of her musings to find the doctor quietly watching her. It was the concern in his kind eyes that did her in. She was horrified to find herself suddenly near tears, and she couldn’t for the life of her have said why. She was having a baby—alone—and she was thrilled. Defiantly forcing a smile, she said huskily, “It’s nothing I can’t handle. You just sort of caught me by surprise.”
“Then you’ve got plenty of time to get used to it.” He chuckled, patting her shoulder in approval. “Seven and a half months, in fact. You’re barely six weeks along.”
“And everything’s okay? There’s nothing wrong? I’ve been so tired….”
“That goes with the territory,” he assured her. “I’m going to give you some prenatal vitamins, and you have to remember that you’re eating for two now. That means three squares a day and getting plenty of sleep.”
“Can I keep working?”
She’d explained what she did for a living—and the long hours she’d been working—while he examined her. “I don’t see why not, at least for right now,” he replied. “When you’re further along, though, I’m going to have to ground you. You’re not going to give me a hard time about that, are you?”
She grinned, knowing herself too well. “I’ll probably grumble about it, but by that time, sitting around with my feet up might feel pretty good.”
“Good girl.” He wrote her a prescription for the vitamins and made a few notations in her file, then rose to his feet. “After you’re dressed, stop at the front desk and make an appointment for next month. If you have any problems or questions between now and then, don’t hesitate to call me.”
“I won’t. And thank you, Doctor,” she said, with a smile that, though she didn’t know it, lit her face with a breathtaking beauty. “I feel like you just gave me the keys to Disneyland.”
Laughing, he headed for the door. “Let’s hope you still feel that way when your back hurts and the little one keeps you up all night kicking you in the belly. See you in a month.”
Her euphoria lasted all the way back to the airfield, until her gaze drifted to where the clinic sat on the far side of the runway. Slowly the light in her eyes faded into bleakness. She was still overjoyed about the baby, but she wasn’t kidding herself into thinking that being a single mother was ever what she’d wanted for herself. A baby should have two parents who loved it and each other more than life itself. That was never going to happen with Lucas.
Still, she would have to tell him. It was the only fair thing to do, and he had a right to know. She wouldn’t be able to hide it from him much longer, anyway, not unless she intended to go back to Minnesota to have the baby. And that wasn’t something she was prepared to do. Clear Springs was her home now. Her business was here, as well as her baby’s father. How could she even think about leaving? She would tell him late that afternoon, she decided. He usually closed the clinic around six, and she would catch him before he went home for the night.
But when she arrived at the clinic five minutes before closing, the parking lot was full. Stepping into the waiting room, she found it packed nearly to the rafters, without a single empty seat. Two babies were crying, and Rocky couldn’t blame them. The heater was working overtime, and it was hotter than the devil.
Sweat breaking out on her upper lip, she fanned herself with her hand and wondered if she’d made a mistake coming here at this hour. Tomorrow would be better. In the morning, before the waiting room filled up. In desperate need of some fresh air, she turned toward the exit, but before she could take more than a single step, Mary Littlejohn opened the door that led to the examining rooms and saw her.
“Rocky! I didn’t know you were here.”
“I was just leaving.” Conscious of the fact that every eye in the room was watching her curiously, she said, “I don’t have an appointment or anything, so I’ll just come back later. Maybe tomorrow…”
“No, don’t go. Please,” the older woman said with a smile. “I know Lucas would want to see you.” Turning to an elderly Shoshone woman who was wrapped tight in a waterproof jacket in spite of the heat, she said, “You can go on in, Mrs. Crow. Room two. Dr. Greywolf will be right with you.”
That left an empty seat for Rocky, one that she couldn’t graciously refuse. Beaming, Mary said, “Sorry about the wait. He’ll be with you as soon as he can.”
Later, Rocky couldn’t have said how long she sat there. It seemed like forever. Within five minutes, she had to get out of her coat, but with the heat so high, she was still sweating. And then there was the constant crying of the babies. One was flushed with fever and couldn’t seem to get comfortable, and Rocky’s heart broke for it. The other one, a little boy, didn’t appear to be sick—he just wanted out of there. And when his pale, drawn, very young mother refused, he threw a tantrum that seemed to echo inside Rocky’s head. Her temples starting to throb, she decided she’d had enough and she had to get out of there.
But before she could gather her thoughts enough to collect her things, the door to the back of the clinic open, and suddenly Lucas was standing right in front of her. Just looking up at him made her head swim.
“I just heard you were here,” he said quietly, studying her through narrowed eyes. “Are you sick?”
“No! I just needed to talk to you.” Everyone in the waiting room seemed to be hanging on her next word. Color climbing into her cheeks, she fumbled for her coat. “I’ll just make an appointment and come back another time.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said. “You’re already here, and I’ll be through within the hour. You can wait in my office.”
“That’s not necessary,” she said, wondering why she’d thought it was so necessary to talk to him today. Grabbing her purse and coat, she jumped to her feet.
She realized her mistake immediately, but it was too late. The room seemed to tilt beneath her feet, and suddenly her head was reeling from the heat and the noise. The blood drained from her face in a rush. Darkness came crashing down on her, and before she could so much as whimper, it swallowed her whole. Without a sound, she started to sink to the floor.
“What the hell?”
Lightning-quick, Lucas snatched her up in his arms, his heart stopping in his chest as her head lolled back against his shoulder. Cursing, he pushed through the swinging door that led to the examining rooms and his office.
When she came to, Rocky found herself lying on the couch in Lucas’s office while he leaned over her, his rugged face harsh with worry as he took her pulse. Mortified, she wanted to sink through the floor. “I can’t believe I did that,” she moaned. “I’ve never passed out in my life.”
“You’re sick, aren’t you?” he said accusingly. “Dammit, I knew something wasn’t right! You’re pale as a ghost, and you look like you’d blow away in a good stiff wind.” All business, he adjusted his stethoscope around the strong column of his neck and reached for the buttons of her flannel shirt. “What’s wrong? Is it the flu? The way you run yourself working day and night, I’m surprised you haven’t gotten it sooner. Do you even take time to eat anymore? You must have lost ten pounds, and it was ten you couldn’t afford to lose.”
“I’ll gain it back soon enough,” she retorted wryly, grabbing at his hand before he could insert the stethoscope under her shirt. “Lucas, I don’t have the flu.”
“I’ll be the judge of that. I’m the doctor here—you stick to planes and helicopters. Now let go of the stethoscope like a good little girl so I can listen to your heart and lungs.”
“There’s no need to listen to them. I already went to someone else this morning—”
“Another doctor?” he growled, stiffening, something that looked an awful lot like hurt flashing in his dark eyes. “Who?”
“Dr. Hawkins.�
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“You went all the way into town when I’m right here?” he demanded incredulously. “Why, dammit? Did you think because of what happened up in the mountains that you couldn’t trust me to take care of you?”
“No, of course not. But you weren’t exactly thrilled to see me when we ran into each other in town the other day. I thought it would be better if I saw somebody else.” From his snarled curse, it was obvious that she was botching this badly, but her tongue seemed to be twisted in knots and the words just wouldn’t come. “You couldn’t treat me, anyway.”
“Why not? Dammit, Rocky, if you don’t tell me right this second what’s wrong with you, I’m going to call old man Hawkins myself and find out what his diagnosis is! And don’t think he won’t tell me. We go way back—”
“I’m pregnant.”
She blurted the words out without finesse, then guiltily rushed to fill the stunned silence with words. “I know you weren’t expecting this, and neither was I. It just…happened. Neither one of us was thinking—” Quickly steering away from that, she assured him stiffly, “I just wanted you to know…. I mean, since we’re both living right herein the same town and working within a stone’s throw of each other, I thought it was only fair…it’s your child, but you’re not beholden in any way—”
“Not beholden!” he echoed, finding his voice at last. “The hell I’m not! What do you mean, you don’t expect anything from me? Do you think I’d just abandon you and my baby?”
Caught in the trap of suddenly furious eyes, she winced, cursing her foolish tongue. Why didn’t she just shoot herself and get it over with? Struggling to sit up, she floundered for an explanation. “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. This is just all so new, and I don’t quite know how to say what I’m thinking. Maybe we both need a little time.”