My laughter fills the garden. “There’s no way I’m leaving you and you sure as hell aren’t leaving me.”
“But what about Barrett?”
“What about him?” I shrug. “If he needs my help, I’ll give it to him. Of course I will. But . . .” I lean close to her. “I hope I find myself as a married man in the next nine months and can bail out on the travel arrangements because my wife needs me at home.”
“Really? You would do that?”
“You think there’s a chance I wouldn’t?” I laugh. “Look, Barrett is my family and he always will be. That goes for all of my siblings. But, make no mistake, you and our baby are now the most important thing in my life, bar none. No one comes before you. Period.”
She blinks back a fresh round of tears.
“Come here.” I pull her into my side, kissing the top of head.
“I want to apologize to you,” she whispers against my shirt.
“Stop.”
“No, hear me out. I’ve told you I have trust issues and I’ve blamed them on you—right or wrong. I’ve pointed out all the things I want to do with my life.”
“Things you will do with your life,” I correct her.
“Will do. Yes,” she whispers. “We’ve both done stupid things and said dumb things and gotten scared for various reasons. I want you to know I’m sorry for doubting you.”
“Seriously, stop,” I say, squeezing her.
“It’s important for me to know you know that. That you know I recognize how amazing you are. You check off all my boxes.”
“Your boxes?”
“Don’t worry about it,” she laughs. “Thank you, Ford, for sticking with me.”
“Thank you for being so stick-with-able.”
She laughs, planting a kiss to my sternum. “We should be celebrating right now.”
“We will, but we have months to think about that. Right now we need to honor your father.”
“He didn’t want a funeral,” she says, her voice cracking. “I hate that. He felt so alone the last few years, and he just expects me to just toss him in the dirt.”
“I tell you what,” I say, “if you want to do a funeral, you do a funeral. He can’t tell you no.”
“What if no one comes?”
“Does it matter?” I ask. “It’s your way of showing him the respect he deserves.”
“Will you go with me to plan it?” She looks at me through her thick lashes. “I can’t go alone.”
“Baby, you never have to go anywhere alone again. It’s me and you.”
She turns to me and buries her head in my shoulder. “I feel really alone right now, Ford. I know you are here and I appreciate that so much. But . . . it’s just me. My parents are gone. I’m an only child. It’s . . .”
Pulling back, she wipes her eyes with her hand. “I don’t want our baby to be an only child,” she whispers.
“So you’re saying you want me to give you a houseful of children? Sold.” I grin at her and am relieved to see her smile back. “I’ll give you anything you want as long as you keep giving me those smiles.”
Her cheeks turn a shade of pink, and she looks back at the garden. “I don’t want you to think I’m just saying this because of what just happened with my dad . . .”
I’m almost afraid to ask. Almost. “What?”
Her looks at me with wide, hopeful eyes. “I’m sorry for not trusting you. For not trusting us.”
“Hey. It’s okay.”
“I laid in bed last night and thought about things. I thought about us and things my dad said and how I feel and the baby . . .” She hesitates. “This is my rainbow.”
I give her a confused look and she laughs.
“You and this baby are my rainbow, the pot of gold after all the rain,” she explains. “After we get through this, I’m yours. Completely.”
I chuckle. “Like you already aren’t.”
“You’re right,” she says, reaching out and touching my face. “I already am.”
Footsteps make us look towards the house to see Violet and Heath coming around the corner. Both of their faces are wet. Ellie runs to them when she sees them and they stand in a circle, hugging and crying.
I pad across the lawn. “Hey,” I say. Violet turns to me. “Are you going to be here a while?”
She nods.
“I’m going to go take care of a few things. Will you stay with her until I get back?”
“Absolutely.”
I kiss Ellie’s cheek and leave them to have some time together.
Ford
“HI, MAMA.”
I walk around her island and give her a kiss on the cheek. She adjusts her pearls around her neck and gives me a quick once-over.
“Oh, my,” she says, taking my chin in with her hand. “What’s wrong?”
“I need to talk to you.”
She sets the spoon in her hand down and heads to the breakfast nook. I slide into a seat beside her, the smells of some kind of soup floating around the kitchen.
I’ve had dinner in this kitchen thousands of times. Just walking in here, I feel at home. I hear my brothers’ laughs, my sisters singing stupid songs, my father telling us to all quiet down from over the years. It’s a room full of memories, but we have the ability to recreate those sometime. Ellie doesn’t, and I can’t begin to imagine how she feels right now.
“Ford?” Mom asks. “Talk to me.”
I blow out a breath. “This is not how I want to tell you this, but I’m kind of in a bind right now.”
“Go on.”
“Brace yourself,” I say, shaking my head. “Do you remember Ellie Pagan?”
“Of course. Your sisters tell me you’re seeing her again. Lincoln says—”
“Just stop there,” I laugh. “Whatever Linc says is probably not true.”
“Well, in this case, I hope it is.” She gives me a motherly smile. “You’ve seemed happier lately. And you’ve not been coming by for lunch. While I miss your handsome face, I think it’s a good thing you’re finding someone else to eat with.”
“I have been seeing her again. Actually,” I say, testing the waters, “I’m been doing more than seeing her.”
“Really?”
“Mom, Ellie and I are having a baby.”
Her jaw almost hits the table.
“Look, whatever you’re thinking, it’s not,” I ramble. “This isn’t some random thing or a mistake that needs cleaned up somehow. I wasn’t drinking or on drugs or—”
“Ford.” She stops me with one word. “I only have one question.”
“Yeah?”
“Do you love her?”
I slink back in my seat, smiling without meaning to. “She’s the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing that crosses my mind before I go to sleep. When I think back on my day or the last week or the last month, it’s like a highlight reel of the moments I got to spend with her. And, if I play that back over the course of my life, the sweetest memories all include her.”
Mom bats her eyelashes quickly, one hand going to her chest.
“I can’t imagine doing anything and not telling her about it or taking her with me to do it. There’s nothing that could be as tempting as slipping in bed with her at the end of the day. And, the thing is, Mom, I’ve always known that. I just didn’t know how to deal with it. Now, I know. And I’m not about to ever, ever give that up.”
“That’s all I need to know.”
I wait for her to continue, but she doesn’t. She just watches me with a smile that reflects mine.
“So . . . nothing else?” I ask.
“No.” She shrugs her narrow shoulders. “When can I meet her again? I’d love to get to know her and see if she needs anything for the baby.” She places a hand on her heart. “I’m going to be a grandma again. Maybe I’ll get to hold this one.”
We laugh at her joke. I close my eyes and feel relief course through me.
“Thank you, Mom.”
“For wh
at, son?”
I shrug as I blow out a breath. “No matter what we do, whether it’s Barrett wrecking Dad’s car or Lincoln getting written up in the tabloids or Sienna moving to Los Angeles—you always have our backs. I haven’t always appreciated that about you.”
She grins softly. “It’s not always easy raising this brood. You’re a bunch of headstrong, opinionated, capable people, and that sometimes gives me heart failure. But I have to sit back and remember a couple of things.” She folds her hands on her lap, a gold bracelet twinkling in the light. “For one, that means we’ve raised healthy, intelligent children that aren’t afraid to be themselves. And two, your father and I—more your father—aren’t perfect either.”
Chuckling, I nod. “None of us is perfect.”
“No, we aren’t. But a hallmark of a strong family, Ford, is one that allows its members to grow and learn. And not just when they’re babies. Sometimes the hardest life lessons are learned when we’re adults.”
“I’ll try to remember that.”
“Yes, you should. Especially now that you’re going to be a daddy,” she smiles. “I can’t believe it. I want to go buy all the babies things.”
“Easy there,” I laugh. “You know, I was afraid you were going to think it was some kind of setup or something. I haven’t brought her around and after some of my brothers’ shenanigans . . .”
“You are different from your brothers,” she says. “You’re level-headed. If you tell me this is what you want and what is right, I’m behind you one hundred percent. Besides,” she laughs, “I’m going to be a grandma again!”
I watch her face light up, her cheeks matching the color of her dress.
“I have something else to tell you,” I sigh. “Ellie’s father died last night.”
“What?” For the second time in as many minutes, she looks shocked. “How? That poor girl. Where is she?”
“It’s a long story, but he had cancer. Had an accident last night and didn’t make it. She’s at his house now with a couple of her friends.”
“I need to make a casserole.” She gets to her feet and is at the freezer before I can say anything. “What does she like to eat?”
“Mom,” I chuckle, “give me a second.”
One hand holding open the door, she looks at me.
“She doesn’t need a casserole, although that’s very nice of you. It’s just her. He didn’t really have any friends and she doesn’t have siblings or family. I can handle feeding her.”
The door closes with a thump. “I have to do something,” she insists. “What does she need?”
I stand and look at her, my phone in my hand poised over Graham’s name. “There is one thing . . .”
Ellie
The sky is three shades of grey. Not a ray of sunshine to be found. Even the breeze has a chill to it that seems fitting for the day.
Sitting in a chair draped with black fabric, I watch as the hearse pulls slowly into the cemetery. I thought this was a compromise between me wanting to honor his life and Dad not wanting anything—a graveside service.
Sitting under the awning are Violet and Heath and a few of my father’s friends. They give me tight, sad smiles, their faces showing the fondness they had for Dad. It eases the slightest bit of my pain knowing I’m not the only one that will miss him.
The entire Landry clan surrounds me. They’re an overwhelming bunch in the best possible way. Ford mentioned a couple of days ago he told his mother, and ever since, they’ve all shown up at my house with food, drinks, and chitchat. I couldn’t fit another slice of cheese in my refrigerator at this point. Even the Governor is here, sitting in the back with his girlfriend, Alison, and her son, Huxley. Dad would be amused.
The hearse crawls to a stop. As if on cue, the Landry men stand, each looking regal in their suits, and file to the long, black car. I watch in amazement that they took this time out of their day to help me pay tribute to a man they’ll never know.
One by one, they form two lines. Ford, Graham, and Barrett on one side and Mr. Landry, Huxley, and Lincoln on the other. Faces somber, heads slightly bowed, they accept the duty they’ve been tasked with such grace it slays me.
I forgo the tissue and just let the tears roll down my face. There’s no sense in trying to keep up with them. It’s impossible.
I watch these people give me one of the greatest gifts they could ever give. None of them had to be here today. They all have lives running businesses and states and charities. Yet they’re here because Ford asked them to be. They’re here . . . for me.
The casket is brought to the tent and placed on the platform in front of me. Each of them stops and gives me a hug before taking their seats. By the time little Huxley comes through the line, I can’t see for the tears.
“Ms. Ellie,” he whispers.
“Yes?”
“I’m very sorry your dad passed away.”
“Thank you, Huxley.”
“Here.” He takes my hand and presses a small coin in my palm. “This is a token that Lincoln gave me when I was scared to go to Atlanta. He said to keep it in my pocket so I’d remember that I’m not alone, even when I felt like it. I want you to have it now.”
I clamp a hand over my mouth and pull the child into another hug. “Thank you, sweet boy.”
He straightens his tie and disappears into the aisle behind us.
I lean against Ford’s shoulder, holding the little pewter coin in my hand. “Your family is amazing,” I whisper.
He looks down at me. “They’re your family now too.”
The pastor begins the service with an opening prayer. Ford’s arm drapes across the back of my chair and the other lies on my lap.
As I listen to the words spoken for my father, I feel a peace settle over my soul. Ford squeezes my hand and I give it a tug back.
The sun peeks through the clouds, almost casting a glow over the tent. It’s suddenly warm.
I look around and see the faces of Ford’s family carefully listening to the pastor. If you were looking in from the outside, you would think someone important was being put to rest in the black coffin in front of me.
I smile, thinking how proud he would be. And then I smile a little wider when I remember his words, “Figure out what puts a smile on your face and give that a try.”
“I figured it out, Daddy,” I whisper, dabbing my eye with a hankie. “I finally figured it out.”
Ellie
“IT’S LOOKING GOOD, HUH?” I spin in a circle, showcasing the final look of Halcyon before the doors open next week.
“It looks great!” Mallory looks at Camilla. “That green is amazing, don’t you think?”
“I don’t know. I’m looking at this shirt. Can I buy this now?” she laughs.
“I want that in purple,” Danielle chimes in. “Now that I’m not so round I’d look like a grape.”
“Don’t talk about grapes,” Alison blushes.
“Why not? You don’t like grapes?” Mallory asks.
Danielle bursts out laughing. “I think it’s quite the opposite, wouldn’t you say, Ali?”
Alison giggles. “What I wouldn’t give for some grape-age right now.”
The girls laugh, parting ways, and all clamor about checking out Halcyon’s inventory before we go live. I stand in the middle of them all, feeling incredibly blessed.
It’s been two weeks since my father passed away. Each day gets a little easier, especially with my Huxley coin in my pocket and my father’s words in my ears.
“I love that rainbow,” Sienna breathes, checking out the hand-painted art Heath tucked in a corner for me. “It’s gorgeous.”
I don’t tell her it’s my ode to my father, my reminder that there’s always a rainbow at the end of every storm. Violet doesn’t even know why it’s there, just that it was important for me to have.
Sienna comes up to me with a smile. “Everything looks fantastic. If you ever want to get some up-and-coming designers, let me know. I have some friends that would
fit in well here, I think.”
“Really? That would be awesome, Sienna. Thank you.”
She tosses a lock of hair off her shoulder. “Yeah, you’re welcome. Anything I can do, just let me know. I have contacts here and there.”
“Ford said you were thinking of going back to Los Angeles soon?”
“I was. I probably won’t though.”
“I’ve always wanted to go there,” I admit.
“It’s amazing in a lot of ways. It’s beautiful for sure and there’s always something fun happening and lots of work opportunities. But I just don’t feel like a California girl,” she sighs. “I think what I want is to just . . . go. See. Do. Not necessarily in LA, just somewhere that’s . . .”
“Not here?” I offer.
“Exactly!”
“Maybe you just want to travel and not necessarily put down roots,” I suggest. “I can’t imagine not seeing your family for months on end. That has to be hard. Even when I was in Florida, I could come home once a month or more, depending on my schedule.”
“Sometimes. And sometimes it’s not so hard,” she laughs as the girls burst out in a fit of laughter. “I see what the boys are doing to Cam and her love life, and I don’t want that.”
“Ford was telling me about them trying to figure out who he is.”
“Who who is?” Danielle asks as she and Alison join us. “Oh, are we talking about Camilla’s mystery man again?”
“I can’t believe Barrett went into The Gold Room,” Alison sighs. “If one picture would’ve gotten out . . .”
Danielle takes her phone out, looks at the screen, and laughs. “Look at this. This is what I have to put up with.”
Flipping the phone to face us, I see a picture of Ryan asleep in his crib with a miniature baseball glove on his hand.
“That’s adorable,” I laugh.
“Wait until it’s Ford. He’ll have your baby doing pushups,” Danielle teases. She hip bumps Alison. “When are you joining the Landry baby factory?”
She looks at the ceiling. “I don’t know. Do I want to do that all over again?”
“Yes,” Danielle, Sienna, and I all say in unison.
Alison laughs. “Barrett wants one now. You all have given him baby fever.”
Swear (Landry Family #4) Page 20