by Jayne Bamber
Although the lady of the house was not at home, her insipid daughter, the Honorable Miss Carteret was in the drawing room with two other callers, her intimate friend Miss Elizabeth Elliot and Mrs. Julia Yates. Having performed the introductions and made the customary offer of refreshments, Miss Carteret shrank back against the sofa, more timidity than the usual manner of affected ennui. She seemed ever content to allow her more interesting companions to carry the conversation, and Miss Elliot was quick to take the lead.
“How lovely to see you again Mrs. Sutton,” said she. “You must allow me to congratulate you on your recent marriage, how shocked I was to read of it in the papers. How very surprising to hear you had elected to forgo the pleasures of London for a Scottish winter! I had understood your inclinations to be engaged elsewhere when last we met, but perhaps I was mistaken.”
Caroline smiled serenely at her friend. Miss Elliot was no different than a great many of Caroline’s long-standing society friends, people whom she had spent a great deal of time amongst, but never comfortably so, and her reply was carefully worded to ward off further affront. “Yes, that is entirely possible, I am sure.” Caroline took a sip of tea, letting her words linger for a moment before she continued, “As to my time in Scotland, I will own the winter was rather harder than I could like, and so I was delighted when my new mother-in-law, Lady Catherine, took such an eager interest in my company, for I had thought only to remain in Town long enough to keep dear Charles company while he prepared for his journey to Italy.”
“And it seems you have found more company still – what a pretty thing your young companion is. But I must have been misinformed, for I had understood you to be much occupied with Mr. Darcy’s sister.”
“Miss Lydia is his sister by marriage – I apologize if that was in any way unclear.” Caroline smiled defiantly at her friend’s obvious displeasure, while Lydia contentedly sipped at her tea, ignorant of the slight.
“He has a great many of those, I understand,” Mrs. Yates tittered. “One of them is your sister by marriage, is that not so? I had heard she recently passed, but as I do not see you in mourning, perhaps I, too, am misinformed.”
Deflecting the woman’s barb, Caroline asked, “Are you at all acquainted with the Darcys, Mrs. Bates? Forgive me, Mrs. Yates. I do not recall ever hearing them mention you.”
Mrs. Yates responded with a practiced smile. “My husband attends the same club as Mr. Darcy, though I have not yet had the pleasure of meeting his new wife. I hear she is rather obscure, having resided chiefly in the country before her most advantageous marriage. But she is your sister, is that right, Miss Lydia?”
Lydia blinked stupidly for a moment. “Who, Lizzy?”
Miss Elliot simpered. “Lizzy – how quaint and rustic.”
As Lydia rolled her eyes, Mrs. Yates asked, “Is it true, Miss Lydia, that there are seven sisters in your family, and all uncommonly pretty? That is what I have heard.”
Lydia snorted, and set down her tea with a clatter. “Lord, no!”
Caroline was quick to cut her off, determined to salvage the image she wished to cultivate. “There were but five Bennet sisters, Mrs. Yates, though it is now four, with my sister-in-law Jane’s passing. They do each have their particular charms, of course. One of them is now Mrs. Robert Fitzwilliam, mistress of Rosings Park in Kent. The other, Miss Mary Bennet, is the particular friend of Lady Rebecca Fitzwilliam – they are both currently residing with the Darcys while they are in Town.”
Mrs. Yates nodded appreciatively, while Miss Carteret merely looked bored. “What a pity it is,” Miss Elliot observed, “For I have heard Lady Rebecca’s brother, Viscount Hartley, is lately married. I am sure there is more than one enterprising young lady who was disappointed to see such an eligible bachelor taken off the market. But I hear that another gentleman, almost as eligible, is back on the market, and in London no less. That is decidedly good news.”
Caroline schooled her countenance into an expression of mild, casual interest as she waited for her companions to explain themselves, but Lydia took the bait all too eagerly. “Who do you mean? I am most eager to have my first beau, for my sisters have all had their share I am sure.”
“Yes, and speaking of sisters having their share….” Miss Elliot gave Mrs. Yates a significant look.
Mrs. Yates responded with a placid sigh. “Yes, the divorce has been finalized, and Mr. Rushworth is back in London, or so I hear.”
Rushworth – why does that name sound familiar? “You must oblige me,” Caroline said, “I have been in Scotland for many months, and have not always had the most up-to-date society pages. Remind me why that name rings a bell.”
Mrs. Yates and Miss Elliot exchanged a dubious look, before finally Mrs. Yates demurred. “You may tell them, I do not mind. Certainly Maria is nothing to me now.”
Miss Elliot’s smile was one of wicked glee. “Well Mrs. Sutton, pray allow me to catch you up. My younger sister Anne was wed about a year ago in Bath, to our cousin, and the heir to my father’s estate.”
“Yes, of course,” Caroline replied. “I remember it well, for Charles and I were in Bath at the time, and had only just made your family’s acquaintance. My brother was quite taken with your sister Anne, when first we met. Her marriage to Mr. Elliot was quite sudden, and most unexpected.”
“To those unconnected to our family, perhaps. Some might even have speculated that there was a compromise, but anyone who knows Anne really well knows that she is far too dull for that kind of excitement. No indeed,William was really quite taken with her from their first meeting, and only wanted a little spark of competition to motivate him into proposing at the last. Perhaps we ought to thank your brother for his valiant attempt at flirting with her, for it certainly helped cousin William along!”
Caroline smiled evenly at Miss Elliot. She and Charles had gone to Bath a year ago, her intention to separate him from Elizabeth Bennet; meeting a well-dowered and tractable lady like Anne Elliot had seemed like the answer to all of Caroline’s hopes for her brother. Miss Anne had seemed to welcome Charles’s addresses, though demurely, until she suddenly became engaged to her cousin, whose reputation as a profligate gambler was known to everyone except his bride-to-be.
“Alas,” Miss Elliot continued, “Quickly as she captivated his interest, she was not long in retaining it. Anne became with child quickly, as was her duty, and poor cousin William was driven to turn his eye elsewhere. Sadly, it was in the direction of Mrs. Yates’s unfortunate sister Mrs. Rushworth, who was only very recently married herself. Such a pity, for she was quite a promising leader of fashionable society, according to the papers, before her fall from respectability.”
Lydia chortled. “So your brother-in-law, and your sister? La, what a to do! What became of them all?”
While Miss Elliot paused in her tale to scowl at Lydia’s impatience, Mrs. Yates took the opportunity to interject. “What do you think, but Mr. Elliot, homewrecker that he was, was shot dead three months ago, in what was quickly dismissed as a hunting accident. However, we all know the truth – Mr. Rushworth killed him in a duel, I am sure of it. Poor Anne Elliot, they say, was so angry at discovering his inconstancy that she helped to hush up his murder. Certainly Mr. Rushworth discovered the affair, for he petitioned for a divorce from his wife, who is my sister no longer. Our family has refused to recognize her.”
“La, she must not be very clever, your sister,” Lydia casually observed. “If I were to take a lover, I am sure I should not be caught by anyone.”
Caroline flinched with dismay at Lydia’s shocking speech, but Miss Elliot laughed. “Quite right, Miss Bennet. Mrs. Rushworth should have, at the very least, produced an heir and a spare for her husband, in exchange for all the fine silks and jewels he kept her in. After that, I am sure she would have been free to pursue other interests, though discreetly. But I see we are beginning to upset Mrs. Yates. Let us speak of something else.”
Mrs. Yates indeed seemed eager to reclaim the conversation,
though their hostess remained unwilling to contribute beyond the occasional spark of interest in her countenance. “Speaking of unfortunate sisters,” Mrs. Yates said, casting a significant sideward glance at Lydia, “I hear you have one, Miss Lydia.”
“Oh, Jane? No one ever talks about her. She was very wicked, you know. I am sorry she is dead now, even if she was never very nice to me. Lizzy says she is not our sister, and cannot stand to hear her name mentioned.”
“A curious circumstance, I am sure,” Mrs. Yates replied, “though that is not the sister I had meant.”
“Oh. Mary? She is not exactly unfortunate, except in looks, I suppose. It is hardly fair that Lady Rebecca has taken her for a pet and given her such lofty airs, though she is still not so pretty as me. I am certain I shall marry before her, even if she is four years older. This Mr. Rushworth, do you think he shall take another wife? He sounds very rich.”
Miss Elliot tittered with laughter. “A girl after my own heart.”
“Good Heavens, the younger sister desiring to be married before the elder? Shocking.” Caroline sipped at her tea with satisfaction – she could not resist the barb.
Mrs. Yates gave a great huff of exasperation. “You needn’t be coy with me, Miss Lydia. I mean to ask after Miss Darcy. I hear she has come out into society this season, and already stirred up quite a great deal of… speculation.”
Caroline felt her whole body go tense.
“It is true what they say,” Lydia replied with glee. Caroline felt she was on the verge of becoming ill, when Lydia continued, “Thirty thousand pounds. Would that I had half such a dowry, I am sure I would have beaux lining up around the block to pay me their addresses!”
Caroline calmly took another sip of tea, but inside she was cheering her new young charge. But still, perhaps I ought not press my luck. Before Lydia could make the worst possible mistake, Caroline addressed her hostess. “I wonder what Miss Harriet’s portion will be – that is, my father-in-law, Sir Gerald’s new daughter. He and his new wife, Lady Catherine, have caused quite a stir themselves, you know. It is all anyone is talking about, I am sure.”
“Indeed,” Miss Elliot prompted her. “I’ve not yet heard of it – do tell us.”
Caroline seized the opportunity to change the subject from Georgiana’s scandal to the much juicier story of Lady Catherine and Sir Gerald Sutton’s surprising marriage. and even more surprising secret daughter, who was soon to be introduced to London society as one of the most eligible heiresses in Town. “I mean to have a reception for her myself, next week,” Caroline declared as she finished spinning her yarn. “I have every hope of finding my new sister to be a very proper young lady. You must come and see for yourselves, if you like – I will have invitations sent round tomorrow.”
Miss Carteret and Miss Elliot agreed they were immensely curious to set eye on the girl themselves, having found her history most fascinating, while Mrs. Yates actually had the cheek to ask if any of Lydia’s famous sisters would be present at the gathering before making up her mind to attend. Feeling she had nothing further to gain and everything to risk by remaining any longer, Caroline informed Lydia it was time they take their leave.
***
“You gave me quite a fright back there, Lydia Bennet,” Caroline scolded as they made their way back towards Grosvenor Square.
The little wretch had the impudence to laugh. “I thought I might, but you needn’t worry that I will talk about you know what. Mr. Darcy said he would cut off my allowance forever, and find me a husband who makes boring Mr. Martin look like Beau Brummel! I do not know what all the fuss is about, surely nobody believes the silly rumors, anyhow. Anyone who knows Georgiana can see that she is a cold fish, whom no one would ever want to take to bed!”
Caroline groaned in frustration. “Would that we had taken the carriage, Lydia, for I swear I would give you a slap if we were not in a public thoroughfare! You must never say anything so uncouth again, or I shall send you right back to your brother and let him do as he pleases with you.”
Again Lydia laughed. “I doubt it. I know all about your dealings with Lizzy, after what happened at the ball in September. I was there, and I saw what you did. You think you can cozy up to my brother and his hoity-toity rich snob friends by parading me around like you are one of them, but that will only work if I behave like them, and I will not!”
“Very well,” Caroline said through gritted teeth. “How wise you are to see right through me. As it appears my plan is a total failure, perhaps it would be best if I returned you to your family directly. Come, let us go there now, and I can send your things along tomorrow.” Caroline turned on her heel and began walking in the direction of Darcy House, dragging Lydia by the hand behind her.
“Wait, no! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I shall be good, I promise. Oh, they will be so angry with me, do not make me go back.”
“Do not test me, little girl. You want to be out of your sister’s house just as badly as I want to make the most of their connections in society. There is no reason we might not both get what we want, and be all the better off. We will return to Grosvenor Square and you will compose a list for me of five errors you made today in front of my friends, and five lessons in decorum you might learn from them, and you will hand it to me before you are served a morsel of dinner tonight, do you understand?”
“What, like school work,” Lydia screeched.
“Precisely, and you had better take your studies seriously, young lady, for you shall find me a fearsome headmistress, and I shall do a lot worse than rap your knuckles if you disappoint me.”
“I hate you,” Lydia growled. “Not as much as I hate stuck up Mr. Darcy and stupid Lizzy, but I hate you!”
Caroline rolled her eyes. “The feeling is mutual, I assure you.”
***
Caroline sighed with relief as Lydia stomped into the drawing room and silently thrust a piece of paper at her with ink-stained fingers. Despite her anger, she had not felt right about dining without the girl, but she had grown impatient at Lydia’s delay, and rather hungry. As she took the paper and began to peruse it, she rang the bell and asked Mrs. Fossett to tell the cook they were ready to eat.
Without any further acknowledgment of her young ward, she tucked the paper into her pocket and led Lydia into the dining room. Once they took their seats and were served the first course, she took the list out and set it on the table in front of her, reading over it in what she hoped was a rather awkward silence for Lydia.
Five mistakes I made because I hate you:
1. I talked about Jane.
2. I spoke badly about Mary.
3. I interrupted Miss Elliot’s story
4. I said I would take a lover
5. I made you afraid I would gossip about stupid Georgiana
Five lessons I learned from your stupid snob friends:
1. Being coy is a nice way of saying I am vexing someone I hate on purpose
2. You can hate someone and not let it show if you say something clever
3. Miss Elliot has either better taste in gowns than you or more money – or both
4. Most fancy ladies don’t really like each other but they still have to pretend they do
5. You were the only one who did not say anything bad about a family member
P.S. – Your stupid friends do not even like you very much and if you cannot see that you are stupid too
Caroline nodded appreciatively as she read over the five mistakes Lydia had owned to, and thought the better of pointing out several others she had observed. As she read over the five lessons her young charge had taken away from the morning, Caroline begrudgingly had to admit to herself that she was rather impressed by the girl’s perspicacity. The postscript was evidently designed to wound her, and it had rather the desired effect.
“Lessons number two and number four are nearly the same thing,” she said after staring down her young ward until Lydia began to squirm in her chair. “However, I shall allow it, as I was expecting a
greater degree of illiteracy than I see here. It is a very astute observation, and I must say I am impressed. It is true, in the world we live in, young ladies are often pitted against one another in competition for the arduous task of finding a suitable husband. Thanks to Monsieur Bonaparte, there are far too few eligible gentlemen in England, for all the young ladies who wish to be well settled.”
Lydia giggled. “What does Boney have to do with it?”
Caroline glowered at her. “That is a very stupid question, and I shall allow you to puzzle it out for yourself. I shall wait.”
“Too many men are going off to war, instead of staying here in England and marrying us?”
“Exactly so. Now, number three – I think you meant to insult me, but your answer is correct. Elizabeth Elliot is the daughter of a baronet, and an exceedingly fashionable young woman. She would be a remarkable model for you, in selecting personal adornments. There is no shame in admiring those who are more finely attired than oneself, provided one has the temerity to aspire to emulate them. That is the way fashion works, else we should all still be parading about in medieval tunics with unwashed hair. Lady Margaret Grantham is my personal ideal for matters of style, both in fashion and poise, but that is just my own taste. If you truly admire Miss Elliot’s manner of dress, I expect to see significant changes in your own attire that reflect your endeavor to improve yourself in that regard. Please elaborate on what you liked about her adornments.”
Lydia set down her soup spoon in astonishment at Caroline’s mode of questioning, and Caroline took the opportunity to call for the second course to be served. After Lydia provided a few satisfactory remarks on the quality of fabrics in Miss Elliot’s gown and the elegant arrangement of her hair, Caroline held up her hand to signal that she was satisfied. She then read over the fifth lesson Lydia claimed to have learned, and found herself unable to speak for a moment as she considered it.