by R. F. Kristi
“SNOOOOOOOOOORE!”
Went the Stinky Porkster loudly.
“ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
Went Ned in a softer tone.
Both rooms had large windows overlooking the garden. There were lots of trees outside which would give easy access to anyone trying to enter the house through them.
The Porkster and Ned seemed to like fresh air because all the windows had been left open with the curtains flapping lightly in the wind. Both rooms had their own small fireplaces which were crackling with burning wood.
However, I doubted any thief would be able to sneak into the house, since Boss was circling around it at all times. I guess that is why the windows were open. The household was secure with Boss guarding it.
We went downstairs, collected Fromage and said goodnight to Boss. We asked him to keep thinking back and if he remembered anything else, to let Polo know when he met him in the park the next morning.
Promising to come back soon, Monk returned to his house. Fromage and I returned to ours.
9 Days Before Christmas
Wednesday Morning:
My team and I had several pow-wows in Monk’s library, wondering as to what could have happened to old Mr. Finchley’s LAST WILL.
We all came to the conclusion that it was obvious that the Stinky Porkster had something to do with it.
Just by looking at him, I had been deeply suspicious of the Stinky Porkster. The fact that he was in the room with old Mr. Finchley the day Boss saw the will for the last time was a deciding factor.
To be fair, Monk and I decided to set out the case before the rest of the group.
Monk started off by asking everyone to say who they thought had taken the document.
We sat in a circle and passed around blank pieces of paper. Each of us had to write the name of who they thought was guilty before putting it in the center of the circle.
A SECRET BALLOT --- WOW!!!
After 10 minutes, we opened the papers and found the same answer written on each of them.
We all suspected the Stinky Porkster!
He was the only one who had a motive and the ability to pinch the will.
Hah! Hah!
Not such a difficult case to crack after all, I thought.
Monk looked at us with a pleased expression and said, “Good work team.”
“Are we real detectives now?” asked Polo.
“We are indeed,” said Monk. “If Terrance had been here, he would have given all of you all gold stars.”
Polo looked very pleased at this compliment as he was a great admirer of Terrance and very proud to be his neighbor and friend.
“Shall we give ourselves a name?” Polo asked. “After all, this is the second case we are working on together.”
“Once our reputation spreads, we are surely going to solve other cases. You know, the other dogs I meet in the park always ask me how we solved the case of Señora’s missing diamond necklace,” smirked Polo.
“Why not?” said Monk with a smile.
“Cat Detectives of Kensington,” meowed Cara softly.
“But I am not a cat,” moaned Polo. “And neither is Terrance.”
“Oops!” said Cara.
“What about … Inca & Company?” said Fromage.
“Fromage, that would not be fair,” I said, though actually, I was as pleased as punch.
“Why should Monk and Polo, or even Terrance, accept my name to head our detective agency?”
Fromage just looked at me with his saucer eyes. Fromage is one loyal bro!
Monk jumped in before Fromage could respond.
“A very fine name,” he said. “How about it Polo? Do you agree?”
Polo gave a wide grin, his little pink tongue hanging out, as he panted.
“Of course! Inca is my heroine. You know she saved Charlotte when she was hurt on top of your roof last summer. Our detective agency could not have a better name.”
“Hip, hip, hooray,” shouted Cara, giving me a lick.
“Inca & Company is the name of our new detective agency.”
I was bursting with pride but reminded myself to be casual and not show my true feelings. I looked at my team of detectives.
“I promise you that I will make you proud for having named the agency after me,” was all I allowed myself to say, trying to be modest.
What I actually wanted to do was dance the jig in delight with my signature stern face!
8 Days Before Christmas
Thursday Morning:
Yesterday was a special day, I scribbled in my Diary.
Imagine a detective agency named after me!
I had to live up to my name now, which was both flattering and a huge responsibility. At the same time, I was determined to make our new detective agency a huge success.
If we cracked this case, our reputation would be established. All the doggies who met daily at the park would know of us and spread the news. The doggies who walked or who were walked in Kensington Park were a gossipy lot.
No doubt about it. Soon we would have a popular detective agency. Since my name was involved, it was up to me to cement the reputation of the company by solving this mystery.
With regard to this case, the decision had been made. We were all convinced that the Stinky Porkster had stolen the will, the legal paper, handing over the house to Ned.
Other questions arose:
“Where had he hidden it?”
“Could he have already destroyed the will?”
“Could he have taken it with him to his office and hidden it there?”
“Even if it was in his room, how could we find it?”
I couldn’t get this case out of my head.
Was there a possibility for me to solve it by myself?
I decided to go over and speak to Boss. I knew that the Stinky Porkster went to work, but what about Ned? Ned did not go to work. He was a computer geek and he worked from home. But with Boss’s help, maybe I could do more snooping around without Ned noticing that I was there.
I crept over the ceilings, walls, and up the trees of our neighbors, and soon arrived on Boss’s wall.
Everything was quiet. I could see from my position on the wall that Ned was in his room, his head down, working on his computer.
As expected, Boss came dashing out of the house. He had sensed an intruder – a cat on his premises.
He did not bark. He was being faithful to his promise to Monk and intelligent enough to realize that I had not paid him a visit solely to enjoy his company.
“Howdy Boss,” I said. Can we have a chat?”
“Sure. GRrrrrr,” he said.
“Come along to the kitchen. I am by myself. Ned will not come down until lunchtime. Even if he does, he has no objections to cats. Actually, he rather likes Monk. He always tries to stop and pet him if we meet him on the way to the park, GRrrrrr.”
I ran to the shrub at the far end, slipped down the branches to the ground and followed Boss into the kitchen.
We sat on his huge cot. I told him about what we had discussed last night and the conclusion we had reached.
Boss looked at me shrewdly.
“This is what I suspected as well GRrrrrr,” he said.
“Ned thinks the same. He told me so. But he is too timid to challenge The Stinky Porkster. I believe he feels guilty that old Mr. Finchley decided to leave the house to him, an outsider, instead of to his flesh and blood, the Stinky Porkster. GRrrrrr.
“However, he never expected the Stinky Porkster to ask him to leave the house. GRrrrrr.
“Ned is a simpleton. He thought that the Stinky Porkster and he could continue to share the house and live together like a family since neither of them had any family left. GRrrrrr” Boss concluded.
“Boss,” I said. “I want to go into Stinky Porkster’s room and search it.”
“The Stinky Porkster is always careful to lock his door before he leaves. GRrrrrr.” said Boss.
“He never did this before but since of late
he is very careful to lock his door. As if Ned or I would want to go into the Stinker’s room anyway. GRrrrrr.
“You may have to wait until he comes back home. GRrrrrr.”
“Let’s go outside,” I said.
I remembered the large tree just next to Stinky Porkster’s room that Monk and I had noticed when we last took a look around upstairs.
I looked thoughtfully at the windows. Although Boss could not get up to the room that way, I could.
One of my favorite pastimes is balancing on narrow ledges and leaping onto surfaces out of the reach of others.
The branches leaning towards the Stinky Porkster’s bedroom looked sturdy enough to withstand my weight.
I made a decision.
Time was running out and I could not get the thought of investigating the Stinky Porkster’s room out of my head.
I realized that this was my great chance to play the role of a great snoop and do something thrilling.
My inquisitiveness got the better of me.
I clambered up the tree like an old pro with Boss looking on with his eyes nearly popping out of his head. I got the feeling he was impressed.
Just for his benefit, I airily leaped from one branch to another which brought me closer to the window.
Soon I was looking into the Stinky Porkster’s bedroom. I waved to Boss, who was looking at me with his tongue hanging out, and leaped without difficulty from the branch right onto the Porkster’s bed.
Good-EEE! A pretty soft landing.
“Piece of cake!” I thought to myself smugly.
I took a quick look around.
Everything seemed to be in place: A large bed, a wardrobe, an armchair, a bookshelf with green leather-bound books all of the same size and two writing tables.
I climbed onto one desk and delicately pushed the papers around, trying to peek at every one of them.
Despite my being careful, no way would the Stinky Porkster not notice that someone had been browsing through his papers.
“Nothing ventured, nothing gained,” I murmured to myself, and decided to do a thorough job of it.
I jumped into his clothes cupboard.
Nope, nothing there other than his clothes.
I carefully went through another writing table near his bed.
Nope, nothing there either, other than some unpaid bills.
I poked my head into his shoe cupboard.
Nope, nothing there but shoes, slippers and shoe polish.
I looked under his bed.
Nope, nothing there.
I looked between the sheets.
Nope, nothing there.
I searched high and low but could not find the will.
Nope! Nothing! Nada!
I looked around the room. Every single place had been checked.
I wondered why the Stinky Porkster took so much trouble to close the door and lock it so carefully. There was nothing of value in this room other than for some suits and shoes, expensive and very well used. No value for any thief to steal.
“Who would want those?” I wondered.
I sat on the bed, deep in thought, wondering what I should do next.
I decided to stay in the room, hiding until the Stinky Porkster got back.
I leaped out of the window and quickly went down to let Boss know of my decision.
While I was examining the Stinky Porkster’s room the sky had turned gray. It looked as if it was about to start raining.
I shuddered.
If there is one thing that I hated – it was getting wet.
UGH!!
I quickly rattled off what I had planned to Boss.
Boss looked surprised at my decision.
“Are you sure, Inca? GRrrrrr,” he asked.
“I wouldn’t want you to get into difficulties. GRrrrrr. Monk and your family may not be pleased that you are by yourself in a locked room. Why don’t you go get Monk to help you? GRrrrrr.”
“It’s too late now?” I meowed back quickly and reassuringly.
“After all, we are detectives and this is what we usually do.”
More importantly, I did not want him to guess that I wanted to solve this case by myself.
To be honest, I wanted to take all the glory for myself.
Before he could protest, I dashed up the tree, jumped back into the room and looked for a good place to hide.
Under the bed was the best place, I decided, and curled myself into a ball to keep warm.
Thursday Afternoon:
I woke up with a start to the sound of a key turning in the lock.
A light was snapped on and the Stinky Porkster’s fat body entered the room letting out stink bombs as he plodded into the room.
Looking at him closely, I had to agree with Boss.
Not a very pleasant sight, was Boss’s Porkster. NOT a pleasant smell either.
I hadn’t observed the Stinky Porkster this close before:
The Stinky Porkster was perfectly round.
His face was as round as was his body.
He had a smug expression on his face, as if bullying was his favorite pastime.
I realized that Ned would never stand a chance with this great big bully.
He had a very long nose and his eyes made him look like the very devil himself.
Boss had warned me about this. Even so, I felt a shiver run down my spine looking at his demonic eyes.
He gave a startled groan when he saw his messy papers and stomped out of the room.
“Boss! Ned! Who went into my room?” bellowed the Stinky Porkster.
Boy! Did he have a loud harsh voice to go with his round head, round face and even rounder body!
It was clear to me that the Stinky Porkster suspected Ned.
A confused Ned came into my view with Boss sheepishly slinking in behind him.
“No one,” said Ned. “I’ve been at home the whole day and Boss never made a sound. The door was locked after all.”
The Stinky Porkster glared at Ned.
He had known Ned for a long time and realized that Ned would never think of doing such a thing.
In his opinion, Ned was a simpleton, a wishy-washy do-gooder with the courage of a dish cloth.
“Someone came in this way. I am sure of it. My things are messed up!” said the Stinky Porkster and rushed to the window.
“It must be Rolf cleaning after you,” said Ned mildly.
Ned shook his head and left the room with Boss.
The Stinky Porkster slammed the door and locked it. After he did this, he looked around and went to the bookshelf.
I watched him carefully, not daring to breathe. Would he search under the bed?
Naaah!
The Stinky Porkster didn’t look the kind of fatso who would bother to go down on his chubby knees and peer under the bed.
It looked as if I would be safe as long as I didn’t make a sound.
He carefully opened a large green book from the shelf and looked inside. He removed a folded paper, sighed with relief, carefully put it back and placed the book on the shelf again.
He continued to put his belongings in order. He then took a quick look around the room, went out and relocked the door behind him.
I sat pondering and wondering why the Stinky Porkster did not destroy the will. Surely, that would have been the easiest thing to do? I wished I could get into his mind to read what was going on in it!
Could it be that he still loved his uncle and could not bring himself to destroy the will?
No time to ponder, I thought.
What was I to do?
A thought sprang to my mind.
Should I climb the shelf and pull the book down?
Could I do it without making much noise so that the Stinky Porkster would not rush back into the room and catch me in the act?
I needed some help. I decided to leave the room through the window and discuss this with Boss.
On the ground, Boss was waiting for me. He sighed with relief when he saw me. I told hi
m what had happened.
“What a relief that he didn’t find you hiding under the bed. I’ve been so worried about you. GRrrrrr.”
“The Stinky Porkster would never bend down to check under it. Too much exercise for his fat body,” I said with a sneer.
I looked at him triumphantly.
“I have discovered where the Stinky Porkster has hidden the will.
“We now need to decide how we can get it out of the room. I could do this by myself, but I need your help.
“I am worried that when I pull the book down from the shelf, the noise would bring the Stinky Porkster running back upstairs.
“How do we get the Stinky Porkster out of the house? If he leaves the house for at least 10 minutes, it would give me enough time to get at the document,” I concluded.
Boss wrinkled his nose, deep in thought and said --
“There is only one thing that the Stinky Porkster loves more than himself. That is his car. He cleans it himself every Sunday and lavishes attention on it as if it were a newborn baby. If he thought anything would happen to it, he would be out of the house in a jiffy. GRrrrrr.”
Boss thought for a minute.
“Inca, GRrrrrr” he said.
“Climb back into his room. I am going to create a commotion near his car. GRrrrrr.
“Listen for my bark. GRrrrrr.”
“Up I go,” I said and gave Boss an airy wave.
In a few minutes, I returned to the room and hid under the bed.
After some time, I heard Boss’s ferocious bark from the side of the house where the Stinky Porkster’s much loved car was parked.
I then heard the Stinky Porkster’s loud voice and heard him as he crashed out of the house and banged the side door.
I did not hesitate.
I immediately jumped on the shelf and pulled at the large book that I had seen the Stinky Porkster examining.
Horror of horrors!!
I could not make the book budge. It was tightly packed between the other books.
I desperately pulled, knowing that the Stinky Porkster could walk back into the room at any moment.
What would he do if he found a strange cat in his room?
I could probably dart out of the window having noticed how unfit the Stinky Porkster was.