by Heidi Swain
To Amelia
Merry Christmas my darling girl
Chapter 1
As I stood in the chilly kitchen of the poky student flat I had called home for the last three years, waiting for the kettle to boil, I couldn’t help wishing I had dropped out of university before the temperature had plummeted from autumnal to arctic. I still wasn’t really looking forward to moving back in with Mum and Dad, but at least in my childhood home the frost was firmly fixed to the outside of the windows and my bed was always aired and warm.
There could be no denying that Dad was disappointed that I had abandoned studying my Masters and the associated opportunities he had been so keen for me to grasp, but at least now, thanks to Lizzie and Jemma and The Cherry Tree Café, I had an alternative to placate him with, not to mention an opportunity to swell the savings for my far-flung travel plans.
Running a cake and craft themed market stall in the run up to Christmas might not have been what Dad had in mind for my first-class graduate status, but at least it would show him that I was prepared to enter the world of work and wasn’t expecting him to pick up the tab as he so generously had for the last three and a bit years.
I finally had a ‘life plan’ of sorts mapped out, and as well as adding to the money I had squirrelled away, courtesy of my part-time hours spent waitressing and working in bars, I was desperate for the chance to get back into Dad’s good books. I was worried about him and didn’t feel at all comfortable about how increasingly preoccupied Mum said he was by his work at the council. Going home to Wynbridge would give me a chance to put lots of things in my life back on an even keel and you never know, I might even find a way to finally get over Steve Dempster, the boy who had broken my heart and whom I had never really stopped loving.
‘So you really are sure you want to do this?’ said Lizzie from the cosy sitting room of her flat above The Cherry Tree Café for what felt like the hundredth time. ‘Because I’d hate for us to be the cause of even more friction between you and your dad.’
‘It’ll be fine,’ I reassured her, cradling the phone against my ear whilst scrunching up my frozen toes and absentmindedly stirring a heaped teaspoon of sugar into my coffee. ‘Like I said, the extra money will boost the travel savings and my willingness to dive into work is bound to put me back in favour with Dad. This is actually the perfect opportunity for me to rebuild some bridges,’ I added, thinking not just of my father.
‘Well, I know it’s selfish,’ said Lizzie, who sounded far from sorry, ‘but I for one will be delighted to see you, even though the circumstances could be better, and I know Bea will be thrilled, as will Jemma.’ She lowered her tone to a confidential whisper. ‘She’s still trying to find ways to do everything herself as usual, but it’s impossible and she’s absolutely exhausted.’
‘Still no holiday booked then?’ I asked, taking a sip of the bitter, cheap coffee and mentally counting off the hours until I could treat myself to a cup of the café’s finest blend.
‘Nope,’ Lizzie sighed resignedly. ‘I honestly don’t know how she does it.’
Given that I had only recently turned twenty-two, was single and for the most part carefree, I didn’t know how she did it either. Since Jemma had opened the café, she had only taken two weeks off and that was after the birth of her son Noah. Somehow she managed to juggle the business, two small children and a husband who worked all hours. Even the mere thought of her hectic work-life balance was exhausting to me!
‘I try and do as much as I can,’ Lizzie continued, ‘however, on top of everything else this market stall idea is just too much for the pair of us, even though we’re desperate to see it succeed.’
‘Of course,’ I told her, ‘I totally understand.’
‘And we’re really up against it time-wise now,’ she carried on regardless, ‘we’re almost halfway through November already for goodness’ sake!’
‘Look,’ I said, tipping the rest of the coffee down the sink and rinsing out the mug, ‘don’t worry about it. Just get everything as prepared as you can and I’ll take care of the rest. I’ll be with you in a couple of days. By this time next week everything will be up and running like clockwork. I guarantee it.’
Lizzie didn’t answer immediately and I knew exactly what she was working herself up to say.
‘And you’re sure it won’t be a problem if you run into . . .’
Her words trailed off and I took a deep breath before answering.
‘Oh Lizzie,’ I said, in as blasé a tone as I could muster, ‘Steve Dempster and I haven’t been an item for over three years, and I haven’t clapped eyes on him for the last two. I think we’re both grown up enough to be able to live and work in the same town, and besides,’ I added with a shrug she couldn’t see, ‘for all I know he could be married with a couple of kids by now.’
‘Well, as long as you’re sure,’ said Lizzie with concern.
I could all too easily imagine her chewing her lip and frowning.
‘I am,’ I said again, wishing I could find a way to truly convince both her and myself. ‘I really am.’
‘But what we’re asking you to do will mean your paths are bound to cross practically every day,’ Lizzie went relentlessly on. ‘Odds are you’ll end up working right next to him. The Dempster family fruit and veg empire dominates that market. You know full well that theirs is the biggest stall by far.’
‘Yes, I do know,’ I cut in. ‘Believe me, Lizzie, I have thought about all that.’
I’d thought of little else during the last few days. In fact, I’d thought about it so much I’d gone and spent the last of my ready cash having my eyebrows threaded and my thick dark hair pampered with a lavish hot oil treatment, but I didn’t tell Lizzie that because I didn’t want her to get the wrong idea. After all, there was no harm in a girl taking care of herself, was there?
‘Fair enough,’ she finally relented, ‘oh and by the way . . .’
‘Hmm?’
‘He isn’t married and he certainly doesn’t have any kids.’
I wasn’t sure if that made me feel better or worse. I really had been head over heels in love with Steve Dempster when he dumped me just before we were due to leave together for university. Had it not been for the untimely death of his older brother and Steve’s insistence that he needed to stay and help with the family business, I was sure we would have gone, but given the tragic circumstances, our relationship simply wasn’t meant to be.
Of course I’d never managed to muster the emotion to really hate him for picking the family grocery firm over me because the whole situation was just too sad and I knew the heart-wrenching decision had been born out of duty. It was a totally selfless act and one that, in some ways, made me feel inconveniently even fonder of him.
‘Well, whatever,’ I said, quickly dismissing all thoughts of my former beau and thinking that ‘dumping’ was really too harsh a word to describe what had happened. ‘As I said before, I’m looking forward to doing this for you and Jemma. Just have everything ready and leave the rest to me.’
‘I can’t wait,’ said Lizzie again, a noticeable edge of excitement creeping back into her voice. ‘See you Monday!’
I might have been moving back to Wynbridge, but there was one thing I was sure of – I was definitely not going to ‘do a Lizzie Dixon’. She had returned to our hometown when I was an A level student, fallen hook, line and sinker for Ben Fletcher and her crafting business at The Cherry Tree Café, and never left. My own plans really couldn’t have been further from hers, but I was grateful for the lifeline that she and Jemma had thrown me nonetheless.
Thanks to them, I finally had my way forward all
figured out. I was going to repair my relationship with Dad, find a way to get over Steve Dempster, have fun with my best friend Bea, earn myself some extra money and then head straight to the travel agent’s and book a ticket to somewhere hot, exotic and exciting.
‘Here you are at last!’ said Mum, rushing down the path to meet me and pulling me into a tight hug. ‘I was beginning to get worried.’
‘I told you I wouldn’t be here before three,’ I laughed, breathing in the comforting scent of her familiar Estée Lauder perfume. ‘Why do you always halve the time I tell you a journey will take?’
‘Because I can’t wait to see you, of course,’ Mum smiled, taking my face in her warm hands and kissing my rosy cheeks. ‘And if you’re such a clever clogs then why don’t you just double the time you tell me you’ll take to get here?’
That was actually a very good point.
‘Come on,’ she said, finally releasing me and walking back up the path, ‘let’s get you inside. It’s freezing out here.’
‘But what about my stuff?’
‘We’ll get it in a bit.’
She knew as well as I did that I was putting off the moment of going inside and facing Dad.
‘Oh come on,’ she said, reaching for my hand. ‘You’ll feel better once you’ve seen him.’
Personally I wasn’t so sure, but I knew I couldn’t put it off forever.
‘She’s here!’ Mum called through the hall before I had a chance to head up the stairs to the sanctuary of my room and together we walked to the kitchen.
Dad was sitting at the table with the local newspaper spread out in front of him and a yellow highlighter poised over the page. Marking up all the gaffes in the weekly paper was one of his favourite pastimes and I felt my lips curve into a smile as I realised that even though his little hobby used to annoy the hell out of me it was comforting to know that some things hadn’t changed.
‘Ruby,’ he said, pushing back his chair and jumping up to give me a hug.
I was completely undone by his demonstrative welcome and wrapped my arms around his familiar bulk. He was almost ten years older than Mum, but in that moment he struck me as even older. The feel of his arms around me reminded me of his father, a wholly different man, and I was grateful for the warm and uplifting embrace that I had missed on more than one occasion since I left for university.
‘I’m so sorry about it all, Dad,’ I said into his chest, ‘I know I probably should have been able to stick it out, but I’d just had enough.’
‘Hey now,’ he said, kissing the top of my head. ‘Don’t worry about it. I understand.’
‘Do you?’ I asked, pulling away a little and looking up at him and wondering if perhaps rebuilding our relationship was going to be easier than I thought. Perhaps being away from home and stewing over everything in such minute detail had meant I’d actually got his opinion on my decision to leave university out of all proportion. ‘Do you really?’
‘Of course I do,’ he said reassuringly, rubbing my back, ‘I’m not a complete ogre, you know!’
‘I know,’ I laughed, blowing my nose on the kitchen roll Mum handed me and shaking my head. ‘I’m sorry,’ I sniffed.
‘I’m just pleased to have you home,’ he said, pulling out a chair for me and sitting himself down at the table again. ‘You shouldn’t be working in bars and living in that damp old house. You know your mum and I have only ever wanted the best for you and if you felt that leaving university was the right thing to do then so be it. I’m just grateful that you’ve decided to come back here to us. This is where you should be now, shouldn’t she, love?’
‘Well, yes,’ said Mum, an edge of doubt creeping into her tone. ‘But only as long as this is where she wants to be, of course . . .’
‘This is where she belongs.’ Dad beamed.
Mum opened her mouth to say something else, but I cut her off.
‘But you do know that this is just for a few weeks, just for the holidays really, don’t you, Dad?’ I said gently. ‘Like I explained to Mum on the phone, I’m still planning to go travelling abroad in the New Year.’
‘Absolutely,’ he nodded agreeably, ‘and that sounds wonderful. To tell you the truth, I wish I’d seen a bit more of the world when I was your age.’
I began to relax again, relieved that he really did understand.
‘But why don’t you consider hanging on for a bit?’ he went on, fixing me with a meaningful stare. ‘Why not wait and see what the New Year in Wynbridge has to offer?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well,’ he said. ‘You’ll need money for your travels, won’t you, and there are always vacancies at the council in January. Vacancies for good jobs, Ruby, that would give you something worthwhile to add to your CV before you jet off. I hate the thought of you selling yourself short, especially after all the hard work you’ve put into your academic career during the last three years.’
‘But the people doing the hiring these days are happy for prospective employees to have seen a bit of the world,’ I insisted. ‘They like their interviewees to have lived a little and gained some life experience.’
Just because Dad loved his work at the council and had always been a passionate ambassador for the little town, he seemed to live in the hope that one day I would want to follow in his footsteps and he was clearly not above using my rather thin CV to manipulate me into changing my plans. This new argument was little more than an upgraded variation on ones we had had before and they had always ended with me knowing he would, at some point, try again to tether me to the town which would always mean more to him than me.
‘And they’ll have wonderful salaries,’ he carried on as if I hadn’t said a word, ‘especially for someone with a first-class degree! I’m not suggesting for one second that you don’t go travelling at all, but why not spend a few months working first? That way, as well as enhancing your future prospects, you’ll be able to put away even more money and travel in style instead of slumming it on one of those hazardous all-in backpacker deals.’
‘Absolutely not,’ I sniffed, feeling annoyed that I’d been lulled into believing that my homecoming was going to be easier than I initially thought. ‘Thank you for thinking of me,’ I said as graciously as I could manage, ‘but the answer is definitely no.’
‘Well, it was just an idea,’ he smiled amicably. ‘But you really do need to give some serious thought as to what you’ll do for money,’ he reminded me. ‘How do you expect to fund these far-flung globetrotting dreams of yours? I know you’ve told Mum you’ve been saving as much as you can but plane tickets aren’t cheap and you’ll need at least a few hundred pounds in a contingency account just in case anything goes wrong. You really do need to be thinking about some sort of job, Ruby.’
‘I have,’ I told him, proudly thrusting out my chin and thanking my lucky stars that I really had got it all sorted. ‘I start work on Monday.’
‘Oh, that’s wonderful,’ said Mum, as she filled the teapot with steaming water from the kettle. ‘Isn’t that wonderful, Robert?’
‘What job?’ Dad pounced, his eyes narrowed slightly as if he wasn’t altogether sure he believed me.
‘I’m going to work for Jemma and Lizzie at The Cherry Tree Café again.’
‘Waiting on tables?’ he said, raising his eyebrows.
‘Well, she does have the experience,’ Mum kindly stepped in.
‘No,’ I said, ‘not waitressing, actually. They’re taking on a market stall until Christmas Eve and I’m going to be running that. Lizzie wants me to sell her Christmassy crafting bits and pieces and Jemma has come up with some special seasonal bakes.’
My admission was met with a stony silence.
‘I’m going to be working on the market selling mince pies and mistletoe, Dad. How does that sound?’
‘Oh no,’ he said sternly, his affable attitude heading right out of the door. ‘That’s completely out of the question. Those wretched market traders have been nothing but trouble duri
ng the last few months and the last thing I want is you joining forces with them. Did you know about this job before you decided to drop out of university?’ he added sharply.
‘Of course not,’ I gasped, furious that he thought I had been scheming behind his back. ‘I just didn’t want to study any more and if you’d been listening to a word I’d said when I graduated last year you would have realised that before you encouraged me to enrol for my Masters.’
‘Sorry,’ he said when he saw how hurt I was by his accusation. ‘I shouldn’t have said that.’
‘No,’ Mum tutted. ‘You shouldn’t have.’
‘But I don’t care what you say,’ he went on. ‘A job at the council with me will be far better for you than working with that lot. I’m not having you out in all weathers in that market square.’
‘Well, it isn’t up to you,’ I told him, trying not to let him see how upset I was. ‘Everything’s arranged. Apparently trade in the town has been a bit slack and this is Jemma and Lizzie’s way of trying to help out for a few weeks and I haven’t got any intention, as you put it, of joining forces with anyone. I’m just looking to earn some extra money.’
Dad’s expression was unfathomable and part of me was expecting him to insist that if I wasn’t prepared to back down then I should promise to consider a position at the council after the stall closed on Christmas Eve.
‘I thought you’d be pleased,’ I said, still keen to clear the air and win him round. ‘I thought you’d be proud that I’d managed to sort something out on my own before I got here.’
He didn’t say anything else, just stood up, walked out of the kitchen, slamming the door behind him and leaving me nursing a giant slab of heartache and an uncomfortable sense of foreboding. I had had such high hopes for a reconciliatory reunion but now I couldn’t help thinking that perhaps Mum’s concerns about his behaviour were justified. Where had the reasonable Dad I loved so much disappeared to, I wondered, and more importantly, was it going to be possible to find him again before I left town?