by Heidi Swain
Chapter 34
I can safely say, without a shadow of a doubt that was by far the happiest Christmas Day I had ever spent. The smile on Bea’s face was far brighter than all of the lights put together, but not quite as bright as the ring on her finger.
‘So how does it feel,’ I nudged her, as I poured rather more cream over my pudding than was really necessary, ‘to finally have your dream come true?’
‘I can’t believe it,’ she sniffed, looking from her hand to the box and back again for what must have been the five thousandth time. ‘It’s just amazing. The whole day has been amazing.’
‘Thank goodness you wore the dress!’ I teased. ‘Just think if you’d turned up in sweats and left it hanging in the wardrobe, never to fulfil its Christmas destiny.’
‘It doesn’t bear thinking about,’ she shuddered, so wrapped up in her own little world that she was completely unaware of my joshing. ‘Did you know?’ she asked.
‘What Sam was planning to do, you mean?’
‘Yes.’
‘No,’ I told her truthfully, ‘I didn’t have a clue. I had no idea where he’d gone or what he was up to. However,’ I added, with a nod to where Steve was sitting talking to Bob, ‘I think Steve did.’
‘How do you know that?’
‘Well, the way he spoke to you for a start,’ I said. ‘You were so worried and he was so flippant. That’s not Steve at all, is it? You know what he’s like. He cares about everyone, would do anything he could to make sure they were happy.’
Bea looked at me and raised her eyebrows.
‘I should have twigged he knew what was going on when he teased you about the Doncaster, Dubai, passport thing.’
‘But I didn’t exactly give you a chance, did I?’ she sighed. ‘I’m sorry for what I said,’ she swallowed. ‘I had no right to tell you to get on with it. Even though the way you still feel about one another is ridiculously obvious.’
Now it was my turn to raise my eyebrows.
‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ she said, looking at her left hand again, ‘I just can’t seem to stop myself. I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am right now and I want you to be happy too.’
‘I am happy,’ I told her, ‘but you have to remember, Bea, that you and I don’t want the same things. I don’t need a ring on my finger; I don’t want to settle down yet. I want to see something of the world.’
I didn’t add that I would have liked someone special to see it all with. My honesty would only stretch so far.
‘But you’ve been living away from Wynbridge for the best part of four years,’ she reminded me.
‘I hardly think studying at university in the country you were born in is the same as jumping on a plane to satisfy your wanderlust,’ I reminded her right back. ‘I need more in my life than this little town can offer right now.’
‘And what about Steve?’
‘What about him?’
‘Well, don’t you think he wants more than a fruit and veg business? Don’t you think he might want to break out and go somewhere new?’
‘I don’t know,’ I shrugged. ‘I haven’t asked him, but I can hardly imagine he’s given it much thought. He seems so happy and so settled here. I know I won’t feel like that for a long while, if ever. Besides, you gave him the ideal opportunity to say something and he just upped and left.’
‘I’m not so sure you’ve got that right,’ she said, shaking her head, the diamante clip in her hair glistening under the lights.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, you’re forgetting one very important thing?’
‘What’s that?’
‘You weren’t the only one who had your life all mapped out, were you? When you left for uni, Steve stayed behind. For all we know he could be thinking that his whole life is just one big compromise. After all, you had arranged to study and travel together, hadn’t you?’
‘I guess so,’ I mumbled, thinking how he had so recently reminded me that we had made so many plans to do everything together and that I myself had thought about how much he would have enjoyed university life.
‘So what makes you think he doesn’t still crave that? How can you be so sure that he’s shelved his dreams?’
‘I don’t know,’ I told her, disliking where the conversation seemed to be heading, ‘but it’s nothing to do with me now, is it?’
‘So you really don’t think there’s any chance for you and him, then? There’s no way you’re going to get back together?’
I had to laugh at her enthusiastic matchmaking. It was astounding what a piece of good jewellery could do for a girl!
‘Look,’ I said, ‘when you left here last night Steve was literally two steps behind you. There’s no way he wants to get back together, and besides, he knows I’m leaving in a few days and that there’d really be no point stirring something up just to abandon it again.’
‘Well, as long as you’re sure,’ she shrugged, as Sam arrived back at the table with yet more fizz.
‘I am,’ I told her.
‘Then perhaps you should say goodbye to him properly and resolve the situation once and for all.’
‘All right,’ I agreed, ‘if the opportunity to do just that presents itself any time soon, I’ll take it.’
‘Promise?’
‘Promise.’
A couple of hours later, and as if by magic, just such an opportunity did come my way and with Bea’s beady gaze watching my every move I knew I had no choice but to grab it with both hands.
‘Fancy a walk?’ asked Steve. ‘It’s stifling in here and I could do with a breath of fresh air.’
‘All right,’ I agreed. ‘To be honest, I thought you’d already gone home.’
I hadn’t seen him for a while, not that I’d been looking out for him, of course, and had begun to assume that I was going to get away without having to say a proper goodbye. Evidently the Christmas gods had other ideas.
‘No,’ he said, ‘I’ve just been helping sort a few things out and catching up on your dad’s latest revelations.’
I imagined him listening to the latest news, his elbows in soap suds and dirty dishes and thought that was about right. I really should have done more to help clear away myself.
‘Where are you planning on going?’ I asked as we stepped back over the threshold, safely under the mistletoe and out into the bitter evening air. Thankfully there wasn’t a breath of wind or a cloud in the sky. It was glacial but not unbearable.
‘Don’t know,’ he shrugged, ‘let’s just see where our feet take us, shall we?’
I pulled my collar up a little higher and rummaged for my gloves.
‘I’m sorry about what Bea said last night,’ I sniffed.
‘Oh,’ he said, ‘why?’
‘Well,’ I hesitated, ‘it was awkward for both of us, wasn’t it? I mean, she’s totally got the wrong end of the stick about everything. She’s so caught up in her own happy ever after that she expects what works for her will work for everyone.’
‘I’m sure she was just meaning to be kind.’
‘Well yes,’ I said, ‘I’m sure she had the best intentions really.’
We fell into step and didn’t talk for a little while.
‘You don’t want a Tiffany engagement ring and a happy ever after then?’ Steve eventually asked.
‘I did once upon a time, you know I did, and you were supposed to be the one who supplied it.’
‘But that’s not what you want any more?’
‘No,’ I said, ‘I don’t think so. I’m not saying I’ll never want to settle down, but for now I just want to enjoy living.’
‘I couldn’t agree more,’ he nodded.
‘But you’re happy living here, aren’t you?’
Bea’s doubts were still fresh in my mind.
‘I am,’ he said, an edge of hesitation creeping into his tone, ‘but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to break out every now and again.’
I couldn’t help thinking that perhaps my
friend might have been right after all.
‘Don’t get me wrong,’ he continued, ‘I love Wynbridge and I love the business . . .’
‘And the pub and the rugby,’ I nudged, trying to make him acknowledge that the life he had been living for the last four years had been worthwhile.
‘Yes,’ he said, ‘all of that, but you’re forgetting one thing.’
‘Oh?’
‘I had hopes and dreams as well, didn’t I? I wanted to study and travel, but here I am.’ He threw out his arms indicating the park we had arrived at. ‘Same old, same old.’
I was slightly taken aback that Bea had realised what I hadn’t, and that he sounded so dissatisfied. I had always assumed Steve was very happy with his lot, that he had settled into the life he hadn’t been expecting to live and was enjoying it.
‘So what are you going to do about it?’ I asked.
‘I’m not sure,’ he said, rubbing his gloves together, ‘that depends.’
‘On what?’
‘You mostly,’ he said, reaching for my hand which I found I had no desire to pull away.
‘Oh look,’ I said, ‘there are lights in the bandstand.’
‘I know,’ he said, pulling me along, ‘I put them there.’
I could hear music quietly playing as we approached and I felt my heart picking up the pace. It began to suddenly thump hard in my chest, trying to outrun my stomach which had flipped over and back again and once more for good measure.
‘Can you remember,’ said Steve, letting go of my hand and jumping up the steps, ‘all the fun we used to have in here after dark?’
‘Of course I can,’ I blushed, ‘every second of it.’
‘And can you remember the last time we met here?’ he asked, suddenly pulling me close.
‘Yes,’ I said, my eyes brimming with tears.
We had spent an afternoon hidden under the canopy out of the rain talking through our plans. It had been the day before Sean had died and everyone’s lives had changed forever.
‘Well, I’ve got this crazy idea, you see,’ said Steve looking deep into my eyes, ‘but it will only work if you agree to it.’
‘What is it?’
‘I’m going to turn back time,’ he said seriously.
‘Now we’ve talked about this,’ I reminded him as he lowered his lips almost to mine. He was so close I could feel his warm breath on my face.
Just when I thought he was going to kiss me he lifted me off my feet and spun me around and around, faster and faster.
‘Stop!’ I squealed, screwing up my eyes and laughing, ‘I’ll throw up!’
He set me down but didn’t let me go. I kept my eyes closed until everything stopped spinning.
‘What do you think?’ he whispered, looking around him. ‘Has it worked? Do you feel eighteen?’
‘I feel sick,’ I laughed.
‘Never mind that,’ he tutted, still holding me close, ‘how do you feel in your heart?’
‘Like I never want to let you go again,’ I whispered, the words escaping without a second thought.
‘Because you think you’ll fall over,’ he frowned, ‘or because you love me?’
‘Because I love you, of course!’ I giggled.
He was right. It was working. I was beginning to feel eighteen all over again.
‘OK,’ he said seriously, ‘well, that’s a start.’
‘And,’ I asked, ‘given everything we’ve been through during the last few weeks, how do you feel about me?’
‘Well, you’ve aged all right.’
‘Hey,’ I laughed, ‘you said we’d turned back time.’
‘But we haven’t though, have we? Not really. Let’s face it, I’m no Cher.’
He let me go and went and sat on one of the benches at the side. I didn’t know what to say. I looked out at the stars thinking that we weren’t going to make it after all.
‘Which is just as well really,’ he said, pulling me towards him, ‘because I never could have found a way to afford to do this when I was eighteen.’
He pulled out a cracker from inside his coat and I felt a sense of déjà vu descending.
‘Sam stole my thunder a bit with the cracker idea,’ he tutted, ‘but at least I’ve managed to get you on your own to do this.’
‘Do what exactly?’ I winced.
I really hoped there wasn’t a little blue box destined for me waiting in the wings.
‘Pull it and see,’ he whispered.
I grabbed hold of the end and with a snap that ripped through the air the pretty paper split and two pieces of paper floated out.
‘Plane tickets!’ I gasped, bending to pick them up.
‘Plane tickets,’ he confirmed, pulling me back up and kissing me firmly on the lips. ‘This is what I went to sort out last night. I had stuff to collect and calls to make and they all add up to me coming with you,’ he laughed. ‘But only if you want me to, of course.’
‘But when, how?’ I gabbled. ‘How can you get away?’
‘Dad says he can manage without me, Mum says I’d be mad to let you go again and Paul Thompson says he has the perfect job for me in India. All I need now,’ he said, gazing down at me and pulling off my hat, ‘is you.’
‘Oh well, you can have me,’ I laughed as he began to kiss me again, ‘I’ve never been anybody’s but yours!’
‘But this is for ever,’ he said, pulling away slightly and looking at me seriously. ‘I don’t know where we’ll end up or when, but if we do this then we’re back together for ever. You and me for always, just like we planned. Is that what you want, Ruby? Will you want me for ever?’
‘Oh yes,’ I said, sinking into his arms. ‘For ever sounds simply perfect to me.’
Acknowledgements
It hardly seems possible that I’m already writing the acknowledgements for my third novel, yet here I am, with an even longer list of folk to thank than last time.
There are of course, the usual suspects – my wonderful family – Paul, Oliver, Amelia and Storm the cat (now used to seeing their names in print). They’re all still here, waving their pompoms or rolling their eyes depending on the occasion. Thank you guys, your support means the world to me.
And it simply wouldn’t be right, three books down the line, not to thank Patsy, Andrea and Christine, my work colleagues and friends, who have listened to my incessant chatter in the staff room, even before I signed my first contract, and who are still interested and enthusiastic about every twist and turn in my writing career.
No author acknowledgement would be complete without a nod to their writer chums and I am immensely lucky to have a great bunch never further than a few taps on the keyboard away. Kate Jackson, Sam Tonge, Dame (she really should be) Milly Johnson and Jenni Keer, you are all worth your weight in gold and I know there is no conundrum you cannot help me through. Thank you for your words of wisdom and, as far as Milly is concerned, refreshingly candid advice.
Behind every lucky author there is a fabulous publishing team working tirelessly behind the scenes and I am fortunate enough to be able to brag one of the best. Clare Hey, Sara-Jade Virtue, Emma Capron, Dawn Burnett and Jamie Criswell, you, and the entire Books and the City team at Simon & Schuster, have made this a truly memorable year and I love you all to bits. Thank you.
Huge thanks as always to the many, many book bloggers who work so hard to promote, review and champion my books. Your commitment to sharing your love of my work with the wider world is hugely appreciated. Whether you have signed up for a blog tour, helped reveal a cover, left a great review or offered an interview spot on your blog, it has all helped spread the word that Heidi Swain is now, finally, a published author.
And last, but by no means least, thank you, dear readers. Thank you for picking up the paperback or downloading the e-book. I hope you have enjoyed your Christmas trip to Wynbridge and I look forward to sharing a brand new story with you all next summer. May your bookshelves, be they virtual or real, always be filled with fabulous fiction!<
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H x
Heidi Swain lives in Norfolk with her husband, two allegedly grown-up children and a mischievous black cat called Storm. She is passionate about gardening, the countryside and collects vintage paraphernalia. Mince Pies and Mistletoe at the Christmas Market is her third novel.
You can follow Heidi on Twitter @Heidi_Swain or visit her blog: http://www.heidiswain.blogspot.co.uk/
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