The Dangerous Book for Boys

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The Dangerous Book for Boys Page 10

by Conn Iggulden


  HEREABOUTS DIED A VERY GALLANT GENTLEMAN, CAPTAIN L.E.G. OATES OF THE INNISKILLING DRAGOONS. IN MARCH 1912, RETURNING FROM THE POLE, HE WALKED WILLINGLY TO HIS DEATH IN A BLIZZARD TO TRY TO SAVE HIS COMRADES, BESET BY HARDSHIP.

  “. . . for my own sake I do not regret this journey, which has shown that Englishmen can endure hardships, help one another, and meet death with as great a fortitude as ever in the past.”

  —Robert Falcon Scott

  Making a Go-Cart

  THE HARDEST PART of making a go-cart is finding the wheels. The sad truth is that most modern baby carriages aren’t made the way they used to be, so the classic idea of finding a stroller and removing the axles intact isn’t really possible anymore. Those carriages that do survive are antiques and too valuable for our purposes.

  THE DESIGN

  * * *

  You will need

  Two fixed axles with wheels attached.

  Plank to sit on—we used ¾ in (18 mm) pine.

  Axle wood. Length will depend on your axles, but we used a plank of 3½ × 1½ inches (88 mm × 37 mm).

  Rope for the handle.

  Two eye screws to attach the rope.

  Four electrician’s metal “saddles” (see explanation below).

  Wood paint (color of your choice).

  1½-inch screws (40 mm).

  Vinyl and foam if you intend to add a seat.

  A steering bolt (see explanation).

  Upholstery tacks for the seat.

  * * *

  First, cut the wood. We cut two lengths of 17 in (43 cm) for the axles but this will be different for each project. We also cut quite a long central plank at 3 ft 9 in (114 cm). Again, that depends on the length of your legs. Allow some growing room at least. It really is a good idea to let an adult cut the wood for you, especially if power tools are involved. If you ignore this advice and cut off a finger, please do not send it to us in the mail as proof.

  However, the good news is that there are other things you can use. We found our two axles after many visits to three local waste management centers—dumps. It took many weeks to find ours, so the best planning you can do is to go out now and make your face known to the employees in every dump, recycling center, or junkyard in your town. Our rear axle came from a golf cart and our front from a modern three-wheel stroller—used ones are just starting to appear in these dumps, so you might find one faster than we did. The other possibility was to find a tricycle and use the rear wheels from that. As long as it has a fixed axle that doesn’t turn with the wheels, you needn’t worry. If at all possible, use metal wheels rather than plastic ones. Plastic is an awful material and has a tendency to shatter under stress—while going down a hill, for example.

  It is also a good idea to sand and paint the wood—or varnish it—at this stage. We completely forgot to do this and painting it at a late stage was very fiddly. Better to do it now. We used a wood primer and black matte paint. As we had an old can of varnish in the shed, we then varnished it as well. You can, of course, buy paint, but digging out old cans with just a dab still wet at the bottom is somehow more satisfying.

  When the painted wood is dry, attach the axles. Twenty years ago, we used U-shaped nails, and these were perfectly reliable. This time we found our axles were much wider and had to find an alternative. This is the sort of problem you might have to solve.

  Above is an electrical “saddle,” available for less than a dollar from any electrical shop. They are also quite useful for attaching axles and come in a variety of sizes.

  We used three of them on the front axle. The original plan was two, but one of the screw holes seemed weak and we wanted it to be reliable. Make sure you place the saddles carefully so that the axle is straight on the plank. Given identical saddles, we measured the distance from the top of each one to the edge of the wood. You can place this by eye, but it’s better to measure and be certain.

  1½-in (40-mm) screws will secure the rear of the main plank, as shown below. It looks easy, but some careful measuring is necessary to make the angle between the main plank and the axle plank exactly ninety degrees. You must also make sure that the overhang on each side is the same. We clamped the pieces together quite loosely and then used a rubber mallet to tap it into place, measuring again and again until we were satisfied.

  The steering is the only tricky thing left to do. We were extraordinarily lucky in finding that the single wheel bolt on a three-wheel stroller is perfect for this, but you can’t depend on that kind of luck. You must find a bolt with a thread only partway along.

  Bolt from a three-wheel stroller

  More likely to use this type.

  The benefit of this is that a nut can be tightened on the bolt and yet the bolt can still turn freely in the hole. They are available from any hardware store. Find one a little over the length you need and add a washer at both ends—or more if it’s too long.

  Getting the front position right wasn’t as hard as the rear. It was crucial to have the same distance of axle poking out on either side as before, but it didn’t have to be at ninety degrees as the axle was going to pivot—otherwise there could be no steering. The nice thing about this design is that you sit with your feet on the steering bar, also holding onto ropes. As a result, it is extremely maneuverable.

  We decided to put a seat on ours. We asked in a carpet store and were given a bit of carpet and a vinyl sample for free. We folded the vinyl around a piece of pine, using the carpet as padding between. We then tacked it down with upholstery nails from a hardware store and screwed the whole thing to the main plank from underneath. The rope was attached using a bowline knot on each end.

  COST

  Getting a stroller and a golf cart from two different dumps cost us $20. We think it might have been possible to get them for less, but after weeks of asking, we were so pleased to find them that we offered too much. Begin by offering $5. The wood came to $20, the screws, nuts and washers cost around another $10. The paint came from old cans in the shed. We had the rope already. Altogether, it came to around $60. However, to buy a go-cart of this sort of quality, you would have to pay at least $100 and possibly even $150 or more. This one has the benefit of lasting longer than pedal versions (room to grow), being much faster down hills and, well, being something you made rather than a company in China.

  Insects and Spiders

  A meadow grasshopper

  “INSECT” AS A WORD is from the Latin, meaning “cut into” or “segmented.” An insect is any creature with a head, a thorax, an abdomen and six legs. They usually have an exoskeleton—protective plating on the outside. They are by far the largest class in the animal kingdom. There are hundreds or even thousands of different species to be found in any field or stretch of open water in the country. They are part of fantastically complex ecosystems, and in a single pond a hundred thousand lives can come into existence, fly and perish, sometimes even in a single day. Their variety is astounding and their lives can be endlessly fascinating. Here are some of the ones you might find near where you live.

  GRASSHOPPERS (ORTHOPTERA)

  Although, with tiny differences, there are more than two dozen varieties of grasshopper, they can be put into two main groups: long-horns (Locustidae) and short-horns (Acrididae). Both make the familiar rhythmic creaking noise on sunny days, though short-horned varieties are much more common. The long-horned grasshopper can be as much as five times larger than their cousins and are capable of flight, though usually only in very short bursts. When they are stationary, they are practically invisible. To find them, walk very slowly through long grass, the longer the better. In the summer, you will see small darting specks of small meadow grasshoppers leaping away from you. They are usually bright green, but can also be found in brown or grey. If you are lucky, you will see a larger long-horned one. By all means try to catch the small grasshoppers, but the long-horns are always damaged when they are caught by hand.

  There are four common varieties of crickets: the field cricket, the grou
nd cricket, the tree cricket, and the mole cricket, which spends most of its time underground.

  Cricket

  EARWIGS (DERMAPTERA)

  These are so common that it might seem odd to put them here—the reason is merely to say that earwigs are completely harmless. They are nocturnal insects, with one flying variety. The fierce-looking clippers are for holding, not killing. The female cares for and feeds her young, after laying eggs in a tiny nest dug with the male.

  Earwig

  MAYFLIES (EPHEMEROPTERA)

  The most fascinating thing about mayflies is their life cycle. They live for only a few hours, emerging from a chrysalis without even a mouth to feed. The final brief flight of its life comes after a much longer period as a nymph grub underwater. More than one poet or writer has seen within the story of the mayfly a metaphor for our own short time in the sun. A lifetime is just a matter of scale.

  The mayfly lives only to mate, and despite the apparent fragility of such a system, they have been found preserved in fossil form in Paleozoic era rocks, three hundred and fifty million years ago—before even the dinosaurs!

  Mayfly

  DRAGONFLIES AND DAMSELFLIES (ODONATA)

  Damselfly

  Dragonfly

  Another harmless and beautiful group of insects. Both dragonflies and damselflies belong to the order Odonata, meaning “toothed jaw.” Their lower jaws are serrated, which may explain the name. Even large ones are incapable of breaking human skin, however. Having four wings makes them wonderfully alien, though it is their bright colors that catch the eye in summer. In addition, they consume gnats and mosquitoes, so are a very welcome presence in a garden.

  As with the mayfly, the grub stage hatches underwater, then crawls up a reed or aquatic plant until it reaches air. The skin hardens and splits and a dragonfly struggles out of its old carcass, born anew. Damselflies are a suborder (Zygoptera), with four wings of roughly equal size. In comparison, dragonflies (Anisoptera) have hind wings that are shorter and broader than the forewings. There are more than 4,700 combined species worldwide.

  All dragonflies have excellent eyesight and flying skills—they need them to survive fast attacks from birds and slower ones from frogs if they come down to water to lay eggs or to drink.

  They are strictly summer insects and do not survive cold weather. Wet weather too can starve them as neither dragonflies nor their prey fly in the rain.

  WATER SURFACE INSECTS

  Pond Skater

  Water Boatman

  The pond skater (Gerris lacustris) uses the surface tension of water to scull itself along without getting wet. Its already tiny weight is spread on long legs, as can be seen in the image here. The front legs row it along at an astonishing speed for its size.

  The water boatman (Notonecta glauca) rows along on its back, again at a fair clip for such a tiny insect. Unlike the pondskater it is carnivorous. Neither of these poses any danger to us, they are simply strange and fascinating members of the insect world.

  MOTHS (LEPIDOPTERA)

  Six-spot Burnet

  Moths are a common sight whenever a window is left open at night. Their variety is immense. In fact, of around 130,000 species of Lepidoptera in the world, moths account for 110,000 of them. Famously, their senses are confused by bright light and they can spend many unhappy hours bumping against bulbs. In previous generations, the light would have come from a flame and the moth would be drawn to it and then burned. The metaphor is obvious when considering anything else lured to its own destruction.

  Like butterflies, they spend time as caterpillars, emerging as adults from a chrysalis. Some are brightly colored and fly by day; only the lack of clubbed antennae can show that you are looking at a moth rather than a butterfly.

  Finally, one of the most useful moths in the world is Bombyx mori. The moth is practically unknown, but its caterpillar larvae are silkworms and still produce all the world’s natural silk, unwound from their cocoons. They have been bred in China for five thousand years.

  BEETLES (COLEOPTERA)

  Beetles are insects with a hard carapace protecting wings. Many are scavengers and play a vital role in consuming dead animals and birds. In the United States and Canada, there are close to 24,000 beetle species.

  The dor beetle or “dumble-dor” (Geotrupes stercorarius) buries cow dung as a food source. It is benign and relatively common. Other species are positively destructive, however, such as the brown deathwatch beetle (Xestobium rufovillosum) that bores holes in wood and can destroy old beams and buildings.

  Dor Beetle

  Glowworms (Lampyris noctiluca) are not worms at all. They too are beetles. Sightings are quite rare. The males fly, but their light is very dim. The females are flightless, but give off a much brighter yellow-green light that can be seen in country hedges at dusk in May. One grisly fact about the glow-worm is that its larvae seek out inhabited snail shells when they hatch, feeding on the defenseless snails within.

  Glowworms

  Ladybugs (Coccinelidae) are a very familiar beetle and can be found in any grassy meadow. They eat aphids and are welcome in any garden. If annoyed, they eject an unpleasant-tasting fluid as a defense, just as a grass snake does. (If you ever pick up a grass snake, be prepared for a cupful of the worst-smelling filth you have ever experienced. One of the authors was caught unaware trying this and the smell lingered for days despite endless hand-washing in powerful detergent.)

  Ladybugs

  The stag beetle (Lucanus cervus) is not particularly uncommon, though the authors have only ever seen one. We kept him in a matchbox until he somehow escaped. As with earwigs, the horns of this large beetle are completely harmless. Males cannot be kept with other males as they will fight and damage or even kill each other. Also, pairs must be kept apart after mating, or they will bite each other’s legs off. The life of a stag beetle is not an easy one! They can be bred in captivity, but the pupae are very easy to damage and should not be touched by bare skin.

  Stag Beetle

  BEES AND WASPS

  Bumble Bee

  Bees are fascinating insects—and extremely unlikely to sting unless you make them afraid. If you sit on one, it will sting you, but under the circumstances, who could blame it? Otherwise, they are harmless and, of course, they produce delicious honey. The bumblebee (Bombus terrestris, sometimes called the humble bee) can be seen bumbling around looking for nectar in the summer, though it is less common than the common honeybee or hive bee (Apis mellifera). Their lives could fill a chapter on their own, but the main types are workers, drones and queens. The drones live only for a single season, while the queen lives three or four years.

  Wasps are almost universally disliked. The common wasp (Vespula vulgaris) comes in varieties of non-reproductive workers, males and queens, the queens being larger than the rest. They can be aggressive if attacked and will sting with very little provocation. If they are trapped under clothing, they can sting more than once.

  Common Wasp

  The hornet wasp (Vespa crabro) is much larger than the common variety and has brown bands rather than black. Thankfully, they are not common.

  The pain-causing chemical injected by a bee or wasp sting is called “melittin.” A bee sting usually rips out the whole sting apparatus from the bee in the process, wounding it fatally. Sadly, the wasp has no such handicap and can fly away happily after stinging.

  Hornet

  ANTS (FORMICIDAE)

  There are 20,000 species of ants in the world. Black or yellow ants of any size, whether winged or not, cannot harm humans. Black wood ants (Formica rufa) can eject an unpleasant spray of formic acid, however, which smells like bitter vinegar. Anyone who has ever sat down on a red ant nest will know how painful their bites can be. Red ants (Myrmica ruginodis) are aggressive and unfortunately seem to enjoy the garden habitat as much as their black cousins (Lasius niger).

  Ants

  FLIES AND MOSQUITOES

  Bluebottles (Calliphora vomitoria) and greenbottles (Lucil
ia caesar) lay eggs that hatch into maggots. Apart from being useful for fishing, they spread dirt and disease and should be kept away from food if at all possible. They are attracted to rotting meat, household rubbish, and excrement in any form. There really isn’t anything pleasant to say about them.

  Bluebottle

  Horseflies (Tabanidae), on the other hand, are an absolute menace, as one of the authors found out on a Scottish hillside once. Their bite leaves a tiny bleeding hole. Both authors have been subject to the attention of midges (Ceratopogonidae), often called no-see-ums. They leave itchy red marks on the skin and swarm around water in extraordinary numbers.

  Horsefly

  Midge

  Gnat

  The common gnat (Culex pipiens) is very similar-looking to the more dangerous malarial mosquito (Anopheles maculipennis). Both are members of the same family and females from both species feed off humans if they get the chance, making a characteristic whining sound just as you are trying to get to sleep. In many countries, they are a serious pest and whole areas have to be sprayed regularly. Malaria carried by the Anopheles Mosquito is still a terrible killer in parts of Africa.

  WOODLICE

  The pill woodlouse (Armadillidium vulgare) is capable of rolling itself into a tight ball, hence the name. They are harmlessly amusing creatures and less common than the blue-gray common woodlouse (Porcellio scaber), which can be found wherever there is rotting wood or dampness.

 

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