“But if you do win, that’s the next step, right?” She wrung her hands in her lap, wondering if she was excited or frightened by the prospect. Probably a bit of both.
He cut his eyes away from her, suddenly finding the Murano glass sculpture she’d bought in Italy very interesting. “That’s the only logical conclusion, but I would never ask you to compromise your personal values. If it comes down to it and you aren’t sure you can or want to marry me, we can certainly figure something out. Don’t feel pressured to decide about marriage until you’re ready. We can focus on the engagement, which is what I really need right now.”
This was really happening. Her not-quite boyfriend was not-quite proposing, and she had a decision to make. Even without the confidentiality agreement, she couldn’t hash it out with Carly, not while her friend was in Paris on her honeymoon. Besides, even considering the staged engagement was too strange to actually admit to anyone. “So, if I say no, you and I will break up, and you’ll have to pick someone from your binder full of women?” Joking about it made it a little easier to handle.
That earned her a smile. “Yes, unfortunately. I can’t add a cheating scandal onto my fake engagement, so you and I won’t be able to see each other anymore.”
That shouldn’t bother her, but it did. She didn’t want to fall in love with Ford, but she certainly wasn’t ready to let him go. She’d enjoyed their superficial dating, each of them content to maintain the status quo and never pushing for more. An engagement, fake or not, was a huge step for a not-quite couple. Maybe too huge.
She blew out a breath and leaned against the arm of the sofa. “I need to think about this.”
“Of course.” He sat up, leaning forward so that she caught a hint of that sophisticated scent she’d come to enjoy so much.
“When do you need an answer?”
“I’d love to give you all the time you need, but I have to let the team know as soon as possible. We’ll need time to plan a proposal, if you agree. If not, I’ll have to move onto meeting the candidates. With so little time left to turn things around, I have to make my move soon.”
She blew out a long breath, her cheeks puffing out. “Tell you what. Let me sleep on it, and I’ll have an answer for you tomorrow.” Given all the time in the world, she wouldn’t be able to decide if this was brilliant or the stupidest idea ever. No need to draw it out too long.
His eyes lit up, and she wondered again why she was even considering this crazy scheme, encouraging him when it was clearly ridiculous. It probably said a lot about her that she was willing to entertain a political engagement, but the idea of opening herself up for a real relationship was out of the question. Getting engaged to Ford at this point in their relationship was absurd, but it did seem like a great way to protect herself from getting hurt. No real commitment, no real pain. As she often did when things were tough, she looked to the framed picture of a handsome soldier sitting on the shelf of her bar next to the bottle of Jack Daniels that sat unopened, waiting for someone who was never coming home.
• • •
After tossing and turning all night, unable to sleep, Lily poured herself a glass of water and carried her laptop into the living room. The only way she’d be able to make her decision would be to hash it out with her best friend. She’d held off, thinking she could work it out on her own, because of Ford’s need for secrecy. Carly wouldn’t be checking email while on her honeymoon, but she’d feel better if she made the connection at least. Maybe writing out the message would make it clear, either that getting engaged was a good idea or that she had finally lost her mind. The more she thought about it, the more she wanted to say yes. If she could only talk it through, she’d know for sure what she wanted to do. Surely Carly could be trusted to keep the news to herself until they had a public engagement. She pulled her silky robe tighter around her body and settled on the floor in front of her coffee table. The screen lit up as she folded her long legs in front of her and sipped the ice-cold water. The handsome soldier smiled at her from his spot on the bar shelf, and her breath hitched.
Lily had married PFC Nathan Price against her parents’ advice, right before she graduated from college, and spent one beautiful month as his wife before he deployed to Iraq. She’d sent him off to war, holding tight to his promise to return, and made do with emails, letters, and video chats while he was away. Less than eight months after their wedding, Nathan was killed by an IED while on a mission and Lily became a widow. At twenty-one.
The months after that fateful afternoon when two uniformed officers from the United States Army knocked on her door and changed her life had passed in a haze. Periods of disbelief mingled with the distinct sensation of everything leaning sideways, leaving Lily wondering if it was really all that important that she hang on. At a time when her friends were busy finishing college, getting jobs, and moving on with the next phase in their lives, Lily was mourning her husband, gone at least fifty years too soon.
Now she had to decide whether or not to do it again. Only this time, there would be no deployment or heartbreak, but no all-consuming love either. Nathan would want her to move on and find someone else, to tuck him away in her heart and fall in love again. She was certain he wouldn’t want her to pass up the chance to be happy. He would’ve been so sad to know how long her depression lasted, how much of herself was lost when he died, how she’d let her life pass by without making another connection. What would he think of how much she’d changed? If he hadn’t been killed, she’d be an army wife now, living on post, maybe working, maybe not. Without a doubt, her purpose would be supporting his career and raising the family they would’ve started. She wouldn’t have become a model, and the only world traveling she’d have done would’ve been to army bases when he received his orders. And she would’ve loved it, all of it. If he’d lived, she’d be Lily Price, wife and mother, not Lily Ashton, model and nobody special.
She shot off a quick email to Carly:
Hope you’re having a beautiful time on your honeymoon! Give Michael a big hug for me, and be sure to eat lots of crepes and macarons on my behalf. I can’t wait for you to get back home because things are crazy here. This sounds crazy, but Ford kind of proposed tonight. I haven’t said yes or no, and you can’t breathe a word of this to anyone. I wish you were here to talk it over with me so I could tell if I’m going crazy or not. I’ve been going over it all night, and I just can’t decide. I told him I’d give him an answer tomorrow, which is way too soon, but I didn’t want to make him wait too long. Love you, and see you soon.—Lil.
As soon as she pressed “send,” everything became very real, as though putting it in writing made it official. Now that she’d told Carly, saying yes was almost inevitable. She couldn’t let her friend in on the news and then turn Ford down. He’d be forced to propose to one of the fiancée candidates, and their secret would be out. Unless Carly helped her realize that she’d be making a huge mistake, this was happening. A handsome, important man who treated her well and made her feel amazing had proposed, sort of, and she’d promised an answer by the next day. Most people wouldn’t consider this a recipe for a great marriage, but most people didn’t lose their husbands while they were still newlyweds. Maybe this was just what she needed to find herself again, to open up to a little happiness. She didn’t love Ford and he didn’t love her, but there was no reason that couldn’t develop over time. Besides, all he was asking for was an engagement. She could reserve marriage for if and when something real developed between them. It probably wouldn’t, because Nathan took up too much space in her heart, but she’d worry about that after the election.
Her instant message notification pinged.
Carly: What do you mean, he “kind of” proposed???
Lily: What are you doing answering emails on your honeymoon?
Carly: It’s 10 am here, and Michael went out to get croissants. Don’t get me started on that man’s unhealthy obsession with French pastries, and don’t worry about what I’m doing—this is huge
! I only have a few minutes before he gets back, so don’t change the subject. I want to hear everything.
Lily: I guess I should change that to he proposed, no “kind of” about it. I told him I needed to think about it and would have an answer for him tomorrow. I’ve been thinking about it, of course I can’t think about anything else, but I can’t decide. Hence the late night message. Ugh—why aren’t you here?
Carly: I know! Of all times to jet off to Paris! LOL. So, he proposed, out of the blue, and wasn’t totally let down that you asked him for time to think about it?
Lily: That about sums it up. This whole thing is so weird.
Carly: What are you going to do?
Lily: I don’t know! I kind of wish I hadn’t said I’d give him an answer tomorrow. I didn’t think we were there yet, but I do like him. A lot. We have a great time together, and I don’t want to lose him. I’m afraid that if I say no, then we’ll be finished. I don’t think most guys stick around long after you turn down their proposals.
Carly: Did he seem super let down when you said you needed time to think about it? It sounds so exciting and romantic that he proposed out of the blue like that.
Lily: He couldn’t have been more understanding. As soon as I hesitated, he told me to take all the time I need.
Carly: See, Ford’s a good guy, Lil. You deserve to be happy, and I can tell that he cares about you. If you want to say yes, then what’s stopping you?
Lily: You know.
Carly: Nathan?
Lily: Of course.
Carly: *Sigh* I know it’s hard, but Nathan would want you to live your life. Everyone who knew you two could see that he loved you more than anything. If this is what you want, I know in my heart that he’d want this for you. He wouldn’t expect you to mourn him forever. In fact, he’d probably be so sad to see that you’re having such a hard time without him. It’s okay to move on, truly. It doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten him, and it definitely doesn’t make what you had together any less important. Nobody would expect you to stay single forever, least of all Nathan.
Lily: I’ve told myself the same thing, but it’s still so hard. I know he’d hate to see how long I’ve been in this holding pattern. Ford is a good guy, but don’t you don’t think the whole thing sounds a bit sounds crazy? I mean, we haven’t even slept together yet.
Carly: It’s unexpected, but I wouldn’t say it’s crazy. You guys are old enough to know what you want and recognize a good thing when it comes your way. I’ll even bet that if you ask nicely Ford will oblige you with some sexy time. I can think of worse husbands than a sophisticated and handsome congressman, LOL.
Lily: True. He’d be a good husband. Smart, charming, good citizen, and all that.
Carly: Not to mention ridiculously good looking.
Lily: Yes, there’s that too. Thanks for the talk. I think I know what I’m going to do. Don’t say anything to anyone, not even Michael. I don’t want word getting out until I talk to Ford.
Carly: My lips are sealed!
Lily: Thank you. I wish you were here, and I miss you!!
Carly: I miss you too. See you next week.
She could chat with Carly all night and still come to the same conclusion, no matter what arguments she brought up. The simple fact was that she had to decide this one herself. Whether it was the late hour or the fact that Carly was so supportive, Lily didn’t know, but saying yes to Ford’s proposal seemed like a good idea. Sure, she hadn’t been able to tell Carly the whole truth, but the parts she’d shared had been absolutely true. She’d return to the world of the living without being forced to open herself up to real love and the potential heartbreak that came with it. They made a good team, and the engagement would be good for her. Publicity-wise, it might help bring some attention to Soldier On and bring her that much closer to realizing her dream. He was a clean politician with a solid record who was well-regarded in the state. What more could she ask for? Her one true love had come and gone already. This wasn’t exactly second chance at blissful happiness, but it was close. And close was fine with Lily.
Tomorrow, she’d say yes.
Chapter Five
The next morning, after stumbling through his morning routine like a zombie, unable to think of anything but how Lily would answer his proposal, Ford pulled into the campaign headquarters parking lot. Before he even reached his car after leaving her apartment last night he wondered what had gotten into him. They were nowhere near ready for marriage. She must think he was delusional. He sat in his car, enjoying the last moments of solitude before facing his team at their morning meeting. Joelle’s car was in the lot already, and staffers and volunteers were filtering into his campaign headquarters, but he wasn’t ready to go in yet. He’d have to put off the discussion about potential fiancées once he went in since he didn’t know what Lily was going to say, and he hated stalling.
He laughed to himself, thinking if he were a better politician, it would all be easier to talk his way around it without giving a real answer. The team was expecting a decision, or to at least schedule the meetings with the women, but he wanted to hold out for Lily’s answer. What had he been thinking, asking her to agree to this? He was lucky she hadn’t kicked him out once she discovered he was no different than any other politician, that appearances were all that mattered. When it came down to it, he hadn’t been able to let her go without at least asking. Granted, they weren’t ready for the next step in their relationship, but he sure as hell wasn’t ready to cut ties and say goodbye forever. But if he were going to have a public political engagement, maybe it was best to keep emotions out of it, focus on the business arrangement that it was. Maybe he should leave Lily out of it, let her be free to find someone who wasn’t an idiot whose life decisions were made by a committee.
His phone buzzed on the seat beside him, ending his mental self-flagellation. It was Lily. This was it, the moment he’d been waiting for. Before it could go to voicemail, he answered the phone.
“Hey, you.” Good, his voice was steady, easy, not like his heart was stuck in his throat.
“Hey.” Lily’s voice was a ribbon of smooth warmth, sending his pulse racing at a mad gallop. “So, I thought about it, all night, and I talked to Carly.” She paused, sending his heart plummeting into his gut. Nobody could know about the engagement scheme! “Don’t worry, I didn’t tell her that you had to propose for your campaign, although I’m sure she could keep a secret for me. I just told her you proposed.” Relief flooded him, making him realize how nervous he’d been not only about Lily’s answer but about the possibility of his secret being revealed.
“And?” If he had to wait for her answer much longer, his heart might actually beat out of his chest.
She didn’t answer right away, and he couldn’t breathe. “I’m in.”
He exhaled and hit the steering wheel with his open hand in triumph. “Yes! Thank you!”
She laughed, the most melodic sound he’d ever heard. “I guess you’re happy.”
He couldn’t wipe the giant smile off his face if he wanted to. “Hell yes, I’m happy. Thank you, Lily. Thank you so much. I’ve been sitting in the parking lot, dreading my morning meeting because I was afraid they’d want me to look at the file folder women again. I can’t tell you how happy you’ve made me.”
“I’m glad to help. Anything to save you from the binder full of women.” He could hear the indulgence in her voice and pictured her full lips turned up in a smile.
“Are you free tonight? I want to make it official.” His mind turned with possibilities for their engagement. He’d treat her to something special, something nice to thank her for signing on for this crazy task.
“Sure, I guess there’s no time like the present.”
“Great. I’ve got some ideas, and I’ll take care of everything.” Ford turned his car off and stepped out into the parking lot, suddenly lighter. “I’ll set everything up and will call you this afternoon with the details. Thanks again, Lily.”
“You’
re welcome. See you tonight.”
He ended the call and forced himself to appear calm and normal as he approached the headquarters office. Campaign posters lined the glass windows of the storefront, urging people to Re-Elect FORD RICHARDSON and Stand Strong with FORD. For the first time in a while, he thought they might have a chance to win this thing. So many obstacles had sprung up along his road to re-election, but with the engagement locked down, the path was clear again. Opening the door to the buzz of activity—staffers chatting, volunteers manning the phone bank, copiers printing—was exhilarating. Once the engagement was settled, the work this office did on his behalf would be more effective, with the issue of his bachelor status put to rest.
As he cut through the sea of activity swirling around the campaign headquarters, he greeted staffers as he passed, shaking hands, patting shoulders, offering hearty thanks. To them, it probably seemed like he was well-rested and ready to take on the week. Nobody knew yet that the tides were about to shift, that the campaign was about to take off. He’d save the celebration dance for behind closed doors, but he did allow himself one quick fist in the air, raised in victory, as he approached the conference room.
“Good morning, everyone.” He greeted the team and took his seat, not trying to hide his excitement. He knew he was smiling like an idiot, but he didn’t care.
“Good morning, Ford. I’d ask how you are, but it’s pretty clear that you’re terribly depressed. What’s got you down?” Charlie Tibbals teased.
“Well, I’m getting engaged tonight.” With a satisfied smile, he leaned back in his chair and watched for their reactions.
Robert leaned on an elbow, clicking his pen. “How? We haven’t even scheduled the fiancée candidate meetings, much less chosen the lucky bride.”
“Forget the fake fiancées.” He eyed the stack of file folders on the corner of the table and wished he could push them into the garbage can. “I’ve discussed our situation with the woman I’m seeing, and she’s agreed to take things to the next level.” He held up a hand, ready to stop objections before they were voice. “Don’t worry. This is legit, not some political maneuvering or anything.” That wasn’t entirely true, of course, but it was close enough. She may have agreed to the engagement with full knowledge of the situation, but there was at least a basis for their relationship, which was more than he could say for any of the team’s pre-screened candidates. Keeping the secret between Lily and himself minimized the possibility that the truth would slip out, too. The last thing he wanted was to potentially humiliate her after she’d agreed to help him out. “She accepted my private proposal this morning, and we’ll have a public engagement this evening.”
Texas Temptation Page 101