During the next half hour, I took the time to contemplate just what I was doing there. I mean, I barely knew this woman, though I was starting to get what Mother felt when she first saw Mom. There was no denying that I was attracted to this woman. I really needed to raise my shields and remember that I only came to New York for business. To find a scout. I set my jaw in determination. Ok, shields it is then. A voice called out, “Miss West?” But not today, my shields crumbled. Fine I was excited to see this woman who confused me so much again.
The kid looked like she was just nineteen in an extra small white jacket that still looked too big on her. I snorted to myself, kid? I'm not that old that I see college age people as kids am I? I smiled at her as I stepped up. She grinned at me. “Hi, I'm Tracy. She looked at some notes. You're here to see Miss Brighton?”
I nodded with a smile. She turned with an ushering gesture and chirped out, “They sent me to bring you to her. She's in the commons room right now.” I followed her into the elevator and we went up three floors then she brought me up to some security doors that had two men standing next to them in coats similar to Tracy's. She had me sign in at the desk then the person sitting there buzzed us in.
We went down a short hall and into a large room that had some tables and a few couches strewn about with people walking, sitting, doing crafts, reading books and the ilk. There were about five other workers sprinkled about helping people. My eyes darted to the far corners instinctively and I smiled as my heart sped up. There she was, sitting by herself just staring at the wall.
I nodded at Tracy, who smiled then walked off. I stepped up to Vanessa's side and glanced down at her rich mane of hair. She wouldn't look at me. I didn't know what to do or say, but then I stiffened as she wordlessly just reached up and grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers. I just stiffened up, not wanting to do the wrong thing as part of me was basking in the contact.
We just sat there like that for a couple minutes in silence. Her staring at the wall, me standing by her side. Then she asked, “Is she ok?”
I nodded. Then she pulled me down gently into a chair beside her by my hand. “Sit down weirdo. You look like an idiot standing there.”
I looked over at her and she glanced over with a dour expression. I said with drama, “Gee thanks.”
Her dark visage broke as she smiled and added, “But you're my weirdo.” She locked eyes with me and I could feel the tension draining from our contact. She sobbed just once and then regained her steely control of her feelings and whispered, “I needed those eyes.”
I nodded and got lost in her gaze. I'd be her weirdo or anything else she wanted, I admitted to myself. She put her forehead on mine and we just sat there, silently just soaking up the others presence for twenty minutes.
Then she pulled back, but not looking away from my eyes and whispered, “I'm scared June. They won't let me keep Frannie if I go to jail.”
I nodded. “Don't worry about that. Already have someone on it. You just need to get better. Hey, think of this as a three-day vacation. I'll be here every day.”
The corner of her mouth twitched up in a smile. “You and I have completely different definitions of vacation woman.” I snorted and beamed a genuine smile at her.
Then her smile disappeared. “I do you know... want to get better. I...” She paused. “I never chose this, never wanted this.”
I nodded and placed my forehead back on hers. “I know.” That's all she needed from me as more tension seemed to ease away from her face.
Then I sat up. “So you finding a place of your own or you want the studio to find a place for you in London?”
She gave a startled laugh at my radical change of direction. “Hey now, I haven't said yes yet.”
I quirked an eyebrow. “Yet?”
She sighed then was suddenly serious again. “Please. I need to get better first, be clear headed before I make ANY decisions.”
The word ANY was aimed straight at my heart it seems. I closed my eyes a second, so I didn't show any of the hurt I was feeling and nodded. She said, “The tranquilizers and meds they have me on are keeping the edge off.”
We lightened things up and just talked about anything and everything music after that. Our banter seemed natural to me like we had been doing it for decades with each other. When it was lunch time, Tracy returned by my side and said, “Miss Brighton.”
Vanessa shot her an 'eat shit and live' look, and I said in a chastising manner, “Be good!”
She shot me a wicked grin back and slumped her shoulders, “Fine.” She looked at Tracy and fluttered her eyes and said in a mocking tone, “I'm sorry miss. Please lead on.” Then she stuck her tongue out at me.
I rolled my eyes and couldn't hide my smile. “Much better.” Tracy was grinning back and forth at us. Then as I turned to leave I was surprised by a sneak attack kiss on the cheek by Vanessa. Her lips remained against my cheek for two long seconds, igniting a fire in my soul.
I squeaked out, “I'll be back later today.”
She nodded then turned back to Tracy and put her hands out like she was cuffed. To her credit the small girl smiled and just pushed her shoulder forward playfully. The Trace-inator just said, “The cafeteria is this way Miss Brighton.”
The security people buzzed me out and I headed back out into the Big Apple to forage for my own meal, obsessing over Vanessa's hot lips on my cheek. Damn I wanted those lips on mine.
I spent the time as I ate, contacting Zilrita to get a progress report. Tying up a few loose ends on staffing. Then calling Lizzie. She wouldn't shut up about Vanessa. I kept telling her that nothing was going on between us, but my evil little sister wouldn't listen to me.
I spilled all that had been going on and that I was terrified and out of my depth. Her stupid advice was to ask Mother. Yeah I know that Mandy Friggin Harris could fix everything in no time flat, she is awesome that way. I can't begin to tell you how much I admire and love her, but I have to prove who I am without her. I want to... make her proud of me.
It was still fairly early in Seattle, and a Saturday, so I didn't call Frank yet. I'd give him time to work his lawyer-y magic. I bet those lawyer-types have a coven or something to share their arcane arts. I crossed my fingers and hope there was something he could do to help.
In the meantime, I needed a contingency plan. NEVER put all your eggs in the same basket. Humpty Dumpty knew that shit. I pulled up the social services website for both New York and Washington. Just as much as I needed Vanessa to be ok, I also had to make sure Fran was protected from any backlash or unintended consequences.
I want these two ladies to know that I've got their back. It was supremely important to me for some reason.
Then my lips quirked in an evil grin. Wait I know that grin and this sneaky feeling, it was almost a constant back in the days of June's Eight. I dialed another number and waited then blurted out when she answered, “Zoey!” Plans within plans within plans.
***
I spent the rest of Saturday with Vanessa when she wasn't in a session with Doc, until they kicked me out when visiting hours were over. The rest of the time I spent with Small Fry. Trying to keep her mind occupied on other things than stressing about her sister. Kat was a huge help. Frannie seemed quite taken with her and treated her almost like a mother figure. I could understand, Kathleen was just being her normal caring and nurturing self, making sure that Fran's needs were taken care of but also providing her with some structure.
We all sat on the couch after a big home cooked dinner, watching movies while cuddled up under some blankets. Then Fran asked quietly, “Why are you doing this JW? Helping us like this?”
I looked over at her then back to the television. “Because it's the right thing to do.”
She said, “No. There's more isn't there?” I glanced at her and she was staring at me intently, studying me with eyes much older than her fourteen years.
I shrugged and she smiled almost sadly. “You like Vannie. Like more than friends.”
>
I woodenly nodded and then after a couple heartbeats she smiled. “She likes you too. I've never seen her interested in anyone ever. I think she is trying to hide from me that she's into girls. But she can't help it around you. You calm her and she gravitates toward that, she's smiling again.”
I grinned and tried to derail the conversation, “Aren't you a little young to be using words like gravitates.”
She sighed. “You're just like her. All squeamish when feelings are being talked about. Fine, I'll drop it...”
We all snuggled in and just enjoyed each others company until we all fell asleep on the couch.
Chapter 11 – Bellevue
Sunday was pretty much like Saturday, I took Kat's car and spent most of the day at Bellevue. She seemed a little more herself, though not as distracted by the voices. They were lowering her tranquilizer dose and had started her on some anti-psychotics. She said it would be weeks or months before thee drugs would drown out the voices.
The Doc informed us that so far he hasn't seen anything that would indicate she is a danger to anyone or herself. “Your case is severe, but your condition is very treatable. With the proper course of drugs, and counseling, I don't see why you couldn't live a fairly normal life. It would be a tough road and you would need to want to get better. There are programs I can recommend, they would take a big commitment from you. Even then, you will have to work at it your whole life.”
Vanessa was silent but nodded once. After Doc had left, I looked at her and tilted my head in question, she said quietly, “Once Fran is eighteen, or they'd take her away from me again.”
I laid my hand on hers and she grabbed on. “I wouldn't let them.”
She squinted her eyes at me like I was playing some sort of game. “You barely know me.”
I put my forehead against her's an inhaled her scent. “I know enough.”
She actually licked her lips and stared down at mine then sat back without losing eye contact. “Your eyes make me...” She smiled then looked away. “I think I like girls.”
I grinned at the admission and replied simply with, “I think I like you.”
I tried to get Vanessa to talk to Fran on my cell, but she refused, she looked terrified. She only whispered, “She doesn't need to talk to me while I'm in the looney bin like this.” She just laced our fingers and we just sat like that for the final hour of visiting hours in silence. I never wanted that moment to end, I had never felt so close to someone than that.
I was surprised when Michelle came up to us just before four. She shot me a smile. “So we meet again Miss West.” I snorted and she pulled me away from Vanessa with a “I need to borrow Miss West for a minute. I promise I'll return her with a limited amount of damage.”
Vanessa nodded, I looked at the honey blonde for a long moment, trying desperately to come up with a fitting nickname for her, she was an impossible creature. I sighed and gave up then stepped away a few paces with Michelle. “Miss Brighton will be released back into police custody tomorrow. We had to destroy her clothes, they were unsanitary. You might want to bring her some clothes tomorrow or we'll release her in those scrubs, I'd prefer if she kept some of her dignity.”
I regarded the woman. Again, the people I have met here are a contradiction to how I assumed they would treat people here. I did like this woman. I nodded. “Thanks, Mick.”
She did a double glance at me, the nickname still caught her off balance. I grinned. See the nickname-a-tron is still functional... I looked at Vanessa... so, what the hell man? Then she said, “Visiting hours are over.”
I nodded and stepped up to Vanessa. She locked eyes with me and I forgot how to speak as the butterflies in my stomach were threatening to burst out. What the hell do I say? Ummm... oh! “Hi.”
She smiled hugely and said right back at me, “Hi.”. She tilted her head. The minx was having fun with the effect she had on me.
I got suddenly shy and then said, “Ummm... bye.”
Her smile grew. “Bye.” Then her hot lips were on my cheek for an eternity. I inhaled deeply and sighed. She whispered as she pulled away with a grin, “One day maybe June, but not until I am right.”
I felt like a schoolgirl with her first crush as I nodded with the burn of a blush on my cheeks, and then turned toward the doors. She spoke to my back as I left, I could hear a tinge of fear and apprehension in her voice, “You'll be back tomorrow?” I just stopped and nodded without turning back. She said, “Tell Small Fry that I...” I nodded again and had the orderlies buzz me through the door.
I stopped by the abandoned auto shop and picked up the rest of the girl's things. I took one last look around the place. I felt like an invader there, this was their home.
When I got back to Kat's, she hurried off to her afternoon shift at Common Grounds. Leaving Fran alone with me for the night. I ordered pizza then sat in the living-room with her. I told her about my time with Vanessa and that her sister loved her and was worried about her. Small Fry almost cried at that but instead gave a teary smile.
She wasn't as ravenous when the pizza showed up. This made me smile for some reason, we had finally filled her up. I cringed at her immediate future. Either Frank could work his magic and get the charges dropped then Vanessa would take Fran back to live on the streets with her, or charges are pressed and the two sisters get torn apart from each other again. I made her eat an extra slice of pizza.
After I had cleaned up our mess, I turned to find her watching music videos on the television. I grabbed the remote with a grin at her. “Don't you have some homework to do first?”
She gave me a super cheesy grin. “Yes headmistress. You sound like Vannie.” I stuck my tongue out at her and she giggled her way into the guest room. Again it struck me how much like Lizzie this girl was.
I turned the television back on and muted it with the closed captioning on. I could concentrate more like this. It was how I grew up. After the news, I could hear some humming coming from the guest room. The tune was eerily familiar.
I peeked in the room and Fran was laying on the bed on her belly doing her homework with her legs kicking in the air to the music playing on the earbuds she had in. I glanced beside her. She had Vanessa's iPod.
I walked over to her and sat down on the edge of the bed and laid a hand on her back as she turned to me with a smile she had on while humming. She pulled one of the earbuds. I smiled at her. “You were humming.”
She looked embarrassed. “Sorry. I'll turn it off.”
I stopped her hand from reaching for the iPod. “No, it's fine. You were enjoying the music, what you listening to?”
She smiled and got excited. “Vannie's latest mix. Some kickin' tracks from her latest discovery.” She grabbed the iPod and cued something up. “She's all secretive about this one and won't tell me who it is.” She offered me an earbud, leaving the other one in her ear. I put it in and she hit play.
There was a cool mix of a the instrumentals from a couple popular hip hop titles. The way they were seamlessly spliced was astounding, if you weren't familiar with the songs, you would have thought it was just one song. Then all the color drained from my face when a woman started singing. Oh god. It was me.
I listened to one of my own songs, the one I sang to Vanessa the other night. The one she tricked me into singing. It was good. She had matched some tracks to my voice and rhythm. My god, that blonde had a gift. She had applied her Scratch magic to my music. I just listened to the music I'd never get a chance to share. I started singing along. I didn't notice Fran had pulled her earbud and was staring at me until the song was over and I glanced at the shocked look on her face.
She reached over and wiped a tear off my cheek and said in awe, “My god, it’s you June! You are awesome!”
I wiped away another tear that was threatening. I turned off the iPod and shook my head. “It's not for anybody to hear.”
Then she sighed and put the iPod on the charger. “A shame. It was so emotional. Now I know why Van was so obsesse
d with making the track.”
Then she sat back, propping a pillow behind her back as she appraised me. “You know I approve, right? I mean, Van couldn't do better.”
I grinned, and rolled my eyes and then twapped her with another pillow and stood as she laughed. I tilted my head toward the door, “Movie? Unless you have more homework.” She hopped up and scurried after me.
I handed her the remote and she started scanning the guide. She paused for a minute. “What if... what if they take her away from me again?”
I gave her a confident smile, “I have a few balls rolling. I won't let you girls down.” I prayed I wouldn't, but I couldn't let Fran see how scared I really was. She smiled back then turned back to the television and selected a romantic comedy.
A little later I had to shake her gently awake after Kat had come home. We got her to the guest room and tucked in before I retired back to the couch. I checked my email before turning off the lamp. Frank said he should have something for me in the morning on the Vanessa front. There was also an attachment. I pulled it up and smiled. Damn this man is good. I know why he's been our family lawyer since mom's rock star days. I quickly printed the forms on Kat's printer on the desk in the corner, then set to work filling them out. I went to sleep feeling semi-confident, and dreamed of mysterious honey blonde DJs with crystal blue eyes.
The next morning, there was tension in the atmosphere. The three of us were a little anxious how things were going to turn out when Vanessa got returned to police custody. We had a light breakfast, it was one of Kat's few days off so she volunteered to drive the Small Fry to school. I grinned at her in her trendy clothes and book bag. Vanessa really tried hard to make sure Fran had everything and never looked like they lived on the street.
She had hugged me desperately before they left. She whispered, “No matter how it turns out. Thank you June, you've done more for us than anybody ever has.”
I kissed the top of her head, trying to keep the emotional hoarseness out of my voice. “It was the least I could do. Love you Small Fry. Now get to school before Vanessa kicks my butt.”
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