“Look at me.” His command was quiet but firm. I obeyed and turned my body toward him. “Never say that, Teegan. Ever. I'm sorry you’ve had a long day, but don’t take yourself down like that. I'm not too good for you and you’re not too good for me. We're perfect for each other.” He kissed my forehead again and concluded, “And that’s that.”
My body relaxed, all the weight of my problems and frustration evaporated. All the fear and guilt just floated away and I was left with my boyfriend. The love of my life. It was the best feeling in the whole world.
Chapter Ten
Jax
Sweat beaded my brow. Each drop made itself known as it slowly descended down the side of my cheek. My armpits were starting to become slick with sweat too, and I inwardly groaned.
Yeah Teeg will really want to say yes to a sweaty ass pig.
I shuffled from one foot to the other. Shit, I was so nervous. It was stupid. I knew she would say yes, she was my girl after all. But the whole asking thing bothered me. It may be small, but the chance she could say no was there.
It took weeks to organize what I had planned. It was a tiny idea that had planted itself in the base of my brain and wouldn't let go.
We had been watching “10 Things I Hate About You” and I sat mesmerized as Teegan gushed during the scene where the guy runs around the football field.
Girls loved mushy crap like that.
Even though I prided myself on being a sarcastic jock, there was a part that screamed at me to go all out while asking Teegan to prom. I devised a plan and told my mom about it. She then took her beloved planner and started organizing things for me.
Women, geez.
I asked coach to help and of course he couldn't say no to his pride and joy. Although he did rib me endlessly.
Teegan had better love this. That girl, dammit, she made me into a total cornball. I would resort to any length to make her smile.
The dreams that came every night just made me fall even more in love with her. Even though they were just dreams, they still felt real.
Two hours after I started, I had finally pulled all the petals and thorns off six dozen roses. Every single one of my fingers had gotten pricked multiple times. But the pain was worth it.
Mom came up to the school and helped me spell out the words on the gymnasium floor. She took way too many pictures, but promised she wouldn't post to Facebook until I had asked Teeg. She also brought me the One Direction CD I asked for so I could play Teegan's favorite song. Totally cheesy, but Mom said it was romantic.
My body hummed as I checked my phone. I had five more minutes. I made sure the CD player was on the right track and made my way to the lights to shut them all off.
My heart almost went into cardiac arrest as I heard the gym door creak open. A thin beam of light swept across the floor.
“Jax?” Teegan's voice was confused and shy. She opened the door more and called out again, “Hello? Jax?”
That's when I flipped the lights on and pressed play on the CD player remote. “Little Things” by her favorite guilty pleasure boy band filled the gym.
I quickly turned and looked at her. Mouth agape, backpack hanging from a limp arm, she definitely looked surprised. Her gaze was fixated on the words on the floor: ME + YOU = PROM? The message took up most of the gym.
I stood silently a few feet from her, hands jammed in my jean pockets. Slowly, her lips turned up, nose scrunching slightly as she whispered, “You did this?” All I could do was nod; my voice wouldn't work.
'Jax... It's all... This is amazing. And very sweet.” Her melodic voice filled me with pride. She dropped her backpack the rest of the way to the floor and ran over to me. Jumping into my arms, she immediately locked lips with mine. She tasted like vanilla and honey, pure heaven.
“So – I – take that – as – a yes?” I asked in between kisses. We were gasping for air, but not willing to come all the way apart. She was my anchor. The more she kissed me, the more I wished it was a proposal instead of a dance invitation. This girl had become my everything.
She pulled back as the song ended, her soft brown eyes searching mine, almost as if she was capturing the whole thing with an internal camera.
“Yes. Of course, you didn't have to go to this extreme. But oh my God, this is the best.”
“So you're glad I did?” I asked in a raspy voice. I hoped she thought it sounded sexy and not weird. Her kisses were directed towards my neck and along with her firm legs wrapped around my torso, I went hard. I couldn't really help it.
We still hadn't had sex and for some reason, it didn't bother me. I didn't want it to happen just to happen. I wanted Teegan to want it, to need it. I wasn't a virgin, but I knew she was and I wanted to wait for her. Not the usual way of thinking for most horny teenage boys, but with her it was different. Sex wasn't an issue with being with her.
“Mm-hmm. I love it.”
Good, I thought, because I love you.
***
Teegan
The weeks leading to prom, which was scheduled at the end of April, was a blur of dress shopping, appointment-making, and taking care of other details. I was still over the moon about how Jax asked me. It was something that I would always carry in my heart, even after however many days I had left here.
Underneath that attitude he carried with him, that facade he put on during school, he was such a sweetie. Just like the man he had grown into. Being with him in the crazy past-world made me miss adult Jax with every atom of my being. Even with how things had ended up, I still loved him.
Luke had asked Raegan and we decided to dress shop with our moms. After at least ten shops – I stopped counting after number five – she decided on a strapless, deep plum colored dress with sequined bodice and a gorgeous high-low ruffled skirt. She looked like she had straight-up walked off a magazine cover.
I had better luck at store number three where I found a floor length, royal blue dress with a star burst of diamond studs near the left hip. The slit made it seem trendy but classic and I fell in love with it instantly.
Mama gasped when I came out and Raegan fanned her eyes as if she was about to cry. “Teegan you look absolutely perfect!” they both exclaimed. And I felt like it. The chiffon made me feel like a real princess.
When the day arrived, Raegan and I went to get our hair and nails done at the same time. Mama made us both promise to leave our hair down instead of our signature braids. When I looked in the mirror after the stylist was finished, I couldn't breathe. The curls looked amazing; they were so big and flowed beautifully.
“You look like the Sleeping Beauty chick,” Raegan commented. Her hair was down in a similar way, except her curls were smaller. “I always wanted that chick's hair.”
Laughing, we left and headed to the nail salon a few stores down. It was fun being pampered and spending time together. Sometimes I wondered if she had forgotten all about my crazy story because she would go days, even weeks without saying anything about it. It made me grateful, but it also terrified me. There were time periods where I didn't have one thought about my situation. The contentment I felt being here with Jax was clouding everything else.
***
The theme for prom was Beauty and the Beast. The prom committee actually did a great job turning the gym into the ballroom from the Disney classic. Giant cardboard cutouts of all the characters were scattered throughout, reenacting certain scenes. It was like a sweet blast from the past because it was one of my favorite Disney movies.
When we went to get our picture taken, I smiled knowingly at Jax when I saw the library backdrop. We decided to forgo the usual pose and chose what the photographer called her creative option instead. I sat in an expensive looking overstuffed chair while Jax stood in front of me. The photographer piled antique hard cover books into his arms and had me sit delicately with one opened one. It was cute. Very imaginative and it felt kind of perfect in relation to mine and Jax's favorite shared hobby.
We walked around with Raegan an
d Luke for a little while before parting ways.
We hit up the food table where tiny French appetizers covered the entire space. I was riding a high that I didn't want to end. In my previous teenage years I had skipped prom – my date cancelled at the last minute and subsequently broke up with me.
It was nice to have the chance to attend and enjoy my first prom experience with Jax. He had been my firsts in so many other important events of my life, it seemed fitting.
I couldn't stop staring at how beautiful he looked. His tux fit him perfectly; even the bowtie he bitched about his mom forcing him to wear looked damn good on him. He looked every bit a prince and I felt like his princess.
Even though it was cliché, I knew tonight I was going to finally be intimate with him. I wanted it so bad, and I knew these last couple months had been hard on him, even though he never mentioned it.
He never dared to go further and instead always let me take the reins and I cherished that about him.
I was a virgin again, at least physically, with my renewed teenage body. The first time around, I hadn't lost my virginity until the summer after high school, right before I left to college. Jax had been my second, but I always considered him my true first. The first time only lasted three minutes and sucked pretty badly.
“You good, girlfriend?” Jax asked breaking me away from my trance.
“Yes!” I breathed, “The decor is so beautiful! Kind of fits us, in a way.”
“Exactly what I was thinking,” Jax replied, giving my hand a squeeze and showing off his dimples.
We talked and laughed the whole night. Finally we took to the dance floor when the DJ announced that the last slow song was about to play. He wrapped his arms around me and drew me as close as possible. I brought my arms up and wrapped them around his neck, my heart fluttering like a hummingbird's wings. I was nervous and yet so elated. Everything was perfect, but terrifying. Too many confusing emotions.
'Unconditionally' by Katy Perry played and, sighing happily, I rested my head on Jax's chest. We moved slowly for the first couple minutes and then he broke the silence by whispering, “Teegan?”
I looked up into his dreamy eyes, “Yes?”
“I've been wanting to tell you… Something really important for a while now.” He announced nervously. I kissed his chin softly, willing him to continue.
“I love you, Teegan. I love you with everything,” he finally confessed.
And even though I'd heard those three words from him countless times before in our long history together, that was the first time it completely blew me away. Butterflies danced in every party of my body as I replied, holding his gaze, “I love you, too, Jaxon.” His sweet, unabashed smile in return melted my heart. I made him do that. He loved me! I had, once again, earned his beautiful affection.
I was finally whole.
Chapter Eleven
Jax
It felt like such a release telling Teegan I loved her. Everything in the whole universe was finally right. I was a lame lovesick puppy, walking on cloud nine when we left prom. Every part of me was overwhelmed to touch her. I knew what the ending would be for us going to the hotel. I was ready for it all. Ready to show Teegan how completely lovesick I was.
We checked into the room and immediately she kicked off her heels. “Ugh, I hate those damn things.”
I loosened the ridiculous bowtie my mom made me wear and went over to her.
“Poor baby, you want a foot rub?” I reached over and took her right foot in my hand. In response she made a disgusted face.
“Seriously? You want to touch my feet that I've been on all day?” she demanded. I went to withdraw my hand, but she smiled and pushed her foot back into my hand. “If you're sure; no girl should turn down a foot massage.”
“Oh, hold on one sec,” I said, getting up. I walked into the bathroom and found a small complimentary lotion sample and brought it with me into the room.
Teegan's eyes lit up, “Smart boy!”
I sat back down and took her foot again. It was so tiny and perfect, with toenails painted the same color of her prom dress. I started by rotating her foot in smooth circles, pulling slightly. Teegan grabbed the pillows from their place and shoved them behind her so she could lean back.
It was silent, except for tiny moans coming from Teegan. I rubbed my thumbs over the top of her foot, going down and back up over and over. I tried to direct my gaze away from her toned legs and the fact that I could see her thighs.
“Hey, give me your phone for a minute please,” she requested. I took it out of my pocket and gave it to her and in a few seconds music started playing. It was, of course, a One Direction song, 'Story of My Life' and while I would never admit it out loud, I really liked it.
“Mm, that's better,” she said, settling back into the pillows.
“Are you ever gonna like good music?” I joked. In response she took her free foot and kicked my arm and I laughed.
She softly sang along as I switched feet and rubbed her other one. When she shifted slightly I caught another glimpse of her thigh and my body grew hot. Slowly my hands travelled to her calf and gently rubbed those as well. Teegan peered down at me, her eyes dark with desire and gave a slight nod.
I kicked off my shoes and climbed further onto the bed. I let out a shaky breath, and climbed over Teegan until I was fully on top of her, our faces inches apart.
“Hey,” I greeted in a whisper. I was just glad my voice didn't crack like a prepubescent boy. I was nervous as hell.
“Hi,” she said back, smiling. Her eyes were still dark. My hand moved to the side of her face, my thumb running along her lips. They puckered slightly, kissing it and everything inside me hummed.
“I love you,” I said simply.
“And I love you.” She reached both hands to my hair and pushed through. Then she bit my thumb slightly causing to me suck in a sharp breath. “Jax, please. I want you. Please,” she implored.
I nodded and climbed off her and pulled her up to her feet. She turned around, her back facing me and lifted her hair up. Taking my invite, I unzipped the dress and let it fall to the floor. Then, rushing, I unbuttoned my pants while she turned around and unbuttoned my shirt.
“You're sure?”
“Never been more sure of anything in my life,” she replied, a little breathless. And that was all the confirmation I needed. I could see it in her eyes that she was ready.
I held her gaze as I finished unbuttoning my shirt and threw it on the ground. She bit her lip and furrowed her eyebrows in the sexiest way ever. She wanted me. And the feeling was mutual.
She slid out of her panties and took her bra off in fluid movements, graceful like a dancer. The sight of her bare chest and the rest of her naked body blew me away. Good God, she was beautiful, the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
We collided in an embrace, lips tangled up in one another. My hands went around her backside, grasping at her firm ass. I wanted this girl more than I had ever desired anything in my life. She moaned softly into my mouth as her hands moved slowly down my chest.
“I need you, Teegan.” I slightly whined; the hard-on I had was more than I could handle. I wanted a release.
She took a step back, still holding my hands on her butt and smiled. “Then come get me.” She laid gracefully on the bed, her whole body on display for me. Her nervousness had completely melted away.
I slipped my pants off, setting a condom on the nightstand after pulling it out of my wallet. When I dropped my boxers, her eyes lit up. I climbed on top of her and kissed her neck, traveling to her breasts and down to her stomach. Her hands pulled at my hair as her body arched.
“Now, now, please now,” she whispered, her voice raspy. And so I unwrapped the condom and slipped it on. Then I entered her carefully, holding myself back because she felt so amazing.
“Oh my God, Jax.” she squirmed slightly underneath me.
“Tell me to stop if you need to.” I paused. One hand grabbed my shoulder and the othe
r reached around to my ass.
“Don't. You feel amazing.”
A grin stretched out on my face, I could feel it from ear to ear. “Yes, ma'am.”
I started slow, kissing her cheek, her neck. The tension built up soon and I increased my speed. Teegan's body moved with mine, matching every thrust.
“Don't look away please,” Teegan begged and I locked eyes with her as I climaxed hard. She went right after me, her eyes closing, her body shuddering.
I was still inside her, breathing hard as she finished and she opened her eyes. “Wow.” She beamed at me and I kissed her forehead before climbing off her. She lay still, sweat glistening off her sexy body. Her chest heaved up and down and she stared at the ceiling.
“Shit, Teegan. That was... Amazing,” I said, getting into bed with her after disposing of the condom I was wearing.
We climbed under the covers, her naked body cuddled around mine. I asked if she felt okay, and she said she never felt better. We listened to music, watched TV and finally drifted off to sleep.
Being with her finally was better than any dream I could ever have.
Chapter Twelve
Teegan – May 2014
Every day I awoke stuck as a teenager was both a blessing and a curse.
It was a blessing because I was with Jax. We had such a good thing going. We had sex all the time, we hung out every spare minute; we were in the obsessive phase where we just couldn't get enough of each other. I was happy. I felt loved. Teenage Jax reminded me of college Jax, and how carefree our relationship had been. How amazing we were together before the adult bullshit dragged us both down. A curse, because I wondered where my baby girl was. Where adult Jaxon was. The two questions played on repeat in my brain, just like in the beginning. It was slowly driving me insane.
In my other universe did I just fall off the damn map? Perhaps this is what happened to all those missing people. They got sucked into another world; past, future, whatever. And they didn’t know how to get back. Or maybe I was dead and this is what happens; you go back in time and relive your life for the remainder of eternity.
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