by Adele Abbott
“I know, but it’ll only take a minute.”
“I’ve heard that before.”
“It’s not for me, it’s for Mikey.”
“Is he okay?”
“Yeah, he’s fine. Will you call in?”
“Okay, but I won’t be able to stay long.”
“I’ll have a cup of coffee waiting for you.”
***
“Thanks for coming over, Jill.” Kathy, Mikey and Lizzie all met me at the door.
“Shouldn’t you two be at school?”
“It’s an insect day.” Lizzie beamed.
Huh? “Is the school infested?”
“She means inset day,” Kathy said. “There seems to be more of them every year.”
“Come and see Colin.” Mikey grabbed my arm and pulled me into the lounge.
“See who?” That’s when I spotted the cage. “Whoa, you have a parrot.”
“He’s not a parrot, Auntie Jill. He’s a canary.” Lizzie corrected me.
“When did you get Colin?”
“On Saturday.” Kathy rolled her eyes. “It was Pete’s idea.”
“Come and have a closer look at him.” Mikey dragged me over to the cage.
“Do you like him, Auntie Jill?” Lizzie said.
“He’s very—err—yellow. Does he do anything?”
“What do you expect him to do?” Kathy gave me a look. “Handstands? Recite poetry?”
That wasn’t nearly as far-fetched as she might think.
“Of course not, but he doesn’t seem to be doing anything. He’s just sitting there. Shouldn’t he be flying from perch to perch or chirping or something?”
“Morning, Jill.” Peter walked into the room.
“Morning. Aren’t you at work today either?”
“I thought I’d take a day off, seeing as how the kids are at home.”
“How come everyone is off work today except me?”
“When you and Jack get around to having kids, you’ll be able to take inset days off too,” Kathy said.
“I wouldn’t hold your breath.”
“Come on kids.” Peter held up a sports bag. “We want to get to the swimming baths before they get busy.”
I gave Lizzie a kiss, but when I tried to kiss Mikey, he pulled away.
“Bye, then. Have a nice swim both of you.”
“Don’t be offended.” Kathy grinned. “Mikey doesn’t even like Pete and me to kiss him now. He says he’s too big.”
“That must be hard for you.”
“Not really. I kiss him anyway. I’ll go and make that coffee.”
She’d no sooner stepped out of the room when—
“Oi, you!” It was the canary.
“Are you talking to me?”
“I don’t see anyone else in here, do you?”
“What’s up?”
“You may well ask. Where do I even begin? For starters my name is Bob. What self-respecting canary would call himself Colin?”
“Right, but to be fair, they had no way of knowing that.”
“I was kidnapped.”
“What do you mean, kidnapped?”
“I used to live in a cushy apartment. Granted, the people there were all a bit weird, but they sometimes left the cage door and window open, so I could sneak out to visit my lady friends.”
“Lady friends? How many do you have?”
“Who’s counting? It’s only fair to share myself around, don’t you think?”
Wow! “So if you had it so good, why didn’t you stay there?”
“Come on! Pay attention. Didn’t I just say I was kidnapped?”
“By who?”
“I don’t know. They didn’t give me their business card. They sold me to a shop, and then this crowd of no-hopers bought me.”
“That’s my relatives you’re insulting.”
“How can they be relatives of yours? None of them understands a word I’m saying.”
“It’s complicated.”
“Are you going to help me or not?”
“Help you how?”
“Get me back to my apartment, or at the very least, organise it so that I can still visit my lady friends?”
“I’m not sure about that.”
“Come on. Please, I’m begging you.”
“Okay. I’ll see what I can do.”
“Jill?” Kathy was standing in the doorway with two cups of coffee in her hands. “Why are you talking to the canary?”
“I’m not.”
“I heard you say something about seeing what you could do.”
“I—err—I just thought maybe he was a little bored. He looks like he needs a toy.”
“I suppose you could be right.” She handed me the cup. “I’ll give Pete a call later and ask him to drop by the pet shop to see what they have. Maybe that’ll cheer Colin up.”
I seriously doubted it.
I could still feel the canary’s eyes burning into me as Kathy and I drank coffee and chatted.
“Did you hear about the incident at school last Friday, Jill?”
“What incident?”
“I thought Jack might have mentioned it.”
“No, but then he doesn’t have much to do with Washbridge these days. What happened?”
“One of the other mums, Adriana, was walking to school with her daughter, Sherie, when a horrible monster of a man jumped out in front of them and snatched her handbag.”
“Were they hurt?”
“No, thank goodness. She had the good sense not to resist, so he just took the bag and did a runner. Sort of.”
“What do you mean, sort of?”
“Adriana reckons he was walking weirdly as though he’d hurt his leg.”
“What did the police have to say?”
“They’re taking it very seriously because a similar thing happened at another school a couple of weeks ago. The woman tried to resist the man, fell and banged her head on a wall. She died later from her injuries. The police have promised to put extra patrols at all schools in the area until he’s caught.”
***
“Did you have a good weekend, Jill?” Mrs V was busy working on her range of Top Tips gloves.
“Yesterday was nice enough.” Saturday and Witchgiving, not so much.
“I have some very big news.”
“Does it involve Top Tips gloves?”
“No, much more exciting than that. Armi and I are looking for a new house.”
“Really? What prompted that?”
“We thought it would be nice to live somewhere we’d chosen together.”
“Does that mean you’ll be moving away from Washbridge?”
“No. We both like it around here, so we’re only looking at properties in a fifteen-mile radius. In fact, Armi has come up with a list of houses for us to view this week.”
Winky was shooting the breeze with Harold.
“Morning, you two.”
“Morning, Jill.” Harold gave me a little wave of his wing. “Tell her, Winky.”
“Tell me what?”
“It’s happened again.” Winky jumped down from the windowsill and onto my desk. “Bobby the Brew has gone missing.”
“He’s a cat, I take it?”
“Yeah. A good friend of mine too. What are you going to do about it?”
“Me? I thought you were supposed to be investigating?”
“It’s horses for courses. I’m the entrepreneur, and you’re the private investigator. Allegedly.”
“They’ve probably just gone walkabout.”
“All of them? I don’t think so. That’s four now that we know about. How many more might have been taken by this evil catnapper? It could be dozens. Hundreds even.”
“Look, and I’m not trying to be dismissive or uncaring, but who would want to nick a load of moggies?”
“A load of—” He took a deep breath. “Moggies? Did you really just say that?”
“You know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t. You’re going to have to explain
it to me.”
“Okay, I apologise, but my question still stands, who would want to steal a load of—err—cats?”
“Instead of swanning around in here, that’s precisely what you should be trying to find out. Here.” He handed me a photograph. “That’s Gavin on the left, and that’s Bobby, second from the right; it was taken last year.”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t have the time. I have urgent cases to work on.”
“You’d better have time to take me to my quiz. You promised you would.”
“I’d forgotten about that. When is it?”
“This afternoon, and I can’t afford to miss it.”
“I said I would, and I will.”
“Make sure you’re back in plenty of time. I’ve not forgotten what happened with the boxing match. We were almost late for that because of your dilly dallying.”
“It’s a pity for you we weren’t. It would have saved you from a good hiding.”
“How many more times do I have to tell you? I had it all under control. Another couple of rounds, and I—”
“Would have been in hospital.”
“There’s no talking to you. Just make sure you’re not late this afternoon.”
***
Sheila Forrest had arranged for me to visit her son, Laurence, in prison on Tuesday. Before that, though, I wanted to speak to Craig Mann, another one of Alison’s friends.
“Come in.” He met me at the door to his flat. Unshaven, he looked as though he’d been sleeping in his trousers and t-shirt. “I’m sorry for the mess. I haven’t been able to think straight since I heard about—” His words trailed away. “Would you like a drink? I could make coffee?”
“No thanks. I’d rather get straight down to business.”
He slumped onto the sofa. “I can’t believe she’s gone,” he said as much to himself as to me.
“I believe you and Alison were close?”
“She was such a lovely person. She didn’t deserve this. I hope they lock him up and throw away the key.”
“Laurence?”
“Who else? She should have left that loser years ago.”
“Did she ever say anything to you to suggest that Laurence was capable of violence?”
“Not as such, no.”
“How would you describe your relationship with Alison?”
“We were friends. Close friends.”
“Nothing more than that?”
“What do you mean?”
“Were you having an affair with her?”
“No! Alison would never have cheated on him.”
“But you had feelings for her?”
“Yes. I loved her.” He stood up and walked over to the window. “And she had feelings for me, but she would never have acted upon them because of Adam. She didn’t want him to suffer.”
“When did you last see her?”
“On the afternoon of the day she—” He turned to face me. “On the day he murdered her. I don’t know why I’m even talking to you. Why are you trying to help that worthless scumbag?”
“I’m just trying to get to the truth.”
“The truth is that he killed her in cold blood, and I hope he rots in hell. I’d like you to leave now, please.”
I could have argued, but there seemed to be little point. Two things were clear: Craig had been in love with Alison, and he was convinced that Laurence had murdered her. I had no way of knowing if Alison had felt the same way about Craig. What if she hadn’t? What if she’d rebuffed his advances? Might he have reacted badly? Should I be treating him as a potential suspect?
***
My visit to the police station had turned up one vital piece of information. Laurence’s alibi: that he’d been in the park when Alison was murdered, had been severely undermined by the testimony of his neighbour, a Mr Arthur Radford. In his statement, Mr Radford had claimed to see Laurence return home an hour earlier than Laurence said he had.
A fussy little man, Arthur Radford lived alone in the flat immediately above the Forrests.
“I don’t believe in those teabag things.” He was spooning loose tea from the packet into the teapot. “It just doesn’t taste the same. Would you care for a biscuit? I have jaffa cakes.”
“No thanks. Just the tea will be fine.”
“Pardon?”
His hearing aid was either switched off or needed a new battery, so I was forced to shout, “I said just the tea will be fine.”
I’m no expert on the finer points of brewing tea, but I was always under the impression that when using loose tea, one should pour it through a strainer. If so, no one had told Mr Radford.
I didn’t so much drink the tea as chew it.
“Mr Radford, I believe you told the police that you saw your neighbour come home on the night of the murder?”
“I thought you were the police?”
“Like I said on the phone. I’m a private investigator. I work alongside the police.”
“You help them, you mean?”
“Yeah, something like that. So, if you could just tell me what you saw.”
“I always keep the curtains open of an evening. I like to watch the buses go past. I used to work on them, you see. I was a bus driver for almost forty years. Mind you, I don’t like these modern—”
“Your neighbour? Mr Forrest?”
“Oh yes. I’d just seen the eight-fifteen go by. That’s how come I knew the time.”
“Is it possible you could have got the time mixed up? Could it have been the nine-fifteen you saw?”
“I might be getting on a bit, but I can still tell the time. It was definitely the eight-fifteen. Forrest came home a couple of minutes later.”
I was still picking bits of tea leaf from my teeth after I’d left Mr Radford’s flat.
“Excuse me, Miss!” An old lady appeared at the door of the adjoining flat.
“Hi.”
“I couldn’t help but overhear you talking to Arthur.”
“Sorry about that. I had to shout.”
“He’s deaf as a post that one, and too tight-fisted to buy new batteries for that hearing aid of his. You were asking about Laurence, weren’t you?”
“Yes, I’ve been hired by his mother.”
“Such a lovely young man. Lovely couple. He would never have done what they say he did.”
“That’s what I’m hoping to prove, but your neighbour’s testimony isn’t helping. He says he saw Laurence come home earlier than Laurence claims he did.”
“I wouldn’t set much store by anything Arthur tells you. He spends most evenings watching soaps on TV. I should know; I can hear every word.”
“He says he likes watching the buses.”
“Maybe, but not if it interferes with one of his soaps. He watches them all.”
“Right, well I’d better be making tracks.”
“If you see Laurence give him my best, would you?”
“Will do. Bye.”
Chapter 16
Why on earth had I done it? Why did I keep agreeing to act as Winky’s unpaid chauffeur?
But then, I was quite intrigued by the quiz he was going to take part in. I’d always fancied myself as a bit of a general knowledge buff. Whenever I’d taken part in pub quizzes, people always wanted me on their team.
What do you mean you find that hard to believe? It’s true.
Fortunately, the studio where the quiz show was to be recorded was only a few miles outside of Washbridge.
“Are you sure this is it?” I pulled up in the car park of Washbridge Crown Studios.
“Yes, but it’s around the back, in the basement. It’s okay. I can find my way from here.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.” He jumped through the open window and shot across the car park.
I was about to drive away when curiosity got the better of me. It might be interesting to watch the quiz show being recorded, and it wasn’t like I had anything else arranged for the rest of the afternoon.
; To make sure I didn’t lose sight of Winky, I cast the ‘faster’ spell to catch up with him.
“Ticket, please?” One of the two cats on the door blocked Winky’s way.
“I’m one of the contestants.”
“Name?”
“Winky.”
The doorcat checked his clipboard. “Okay, in you go.”
“How many contestants is that?” the second doorcat asked his colleague.
“We’re just missing one: Trixie Lace.”
“She’d better look sharp or they’ll have to get a volunteer from the audience again.”
Trixie Lace, eh? That gave me an idea. I quickly turned myself into a cat, and then sashayed over to the door.
“Ticket, please.”
“I’m one of the contestants.”
“Name?”
“Trixie Lace.”
“You’ve only just made it. Hurry up.”
“Thank you.”
Once inside, I was ushered to the green room where all the other contestants were gathered. I wasn’t too surprised to find Winky trying to chat up a pretty little Persian cat, but she seemed distinctly unimpressed.
“Everyone! Can I have silence, please?” A bored-looking cat holding a clipboard had appeared at the door. “We’ll be recording all four heats and the final today. Your names will be called at random to take part in one of the four heats.” He read from the list in his hand. “The contestants for the first heat are: Lucky, Winky, Scoots and Trixie Lace. Will the four of you please follow me through to the studio? The rest of you will be able to watch the recording on these monitors. Help yourselves to refreshments, and please try to keep the noise to a minimum.”
In the studio, the feline audience greeted us with polite applause. I had hoped that I’d be seated away from Winky, but we ended up next to one another.
“Hello, gorgeous,” he whispered. “What’s your name?”
“Trixie Lace.”
“What are you doing afterwards?”
“Meeting my boyfriend.”
“Oh.”
Thankfully, that was enough for him to lose all interest in me.
A few minutes later, the quiz was under way. I was looking forward to beating Winky, and to seeing the shock on his face when we got back to the office, and I revealed that I was the victorious Trixie Lace.