I focussed on my next move and became aware of ringing in my ears again. It sounded like disjointed whispering rushing around against a background of white noise. I put a hand up to press against my ear, and screwing my eyes tight, I tried to make it go away. It was only when I opened my eyes that the volume decreased.
‘Gracie’ was watching me and she narrowed her eyes, trying to read my expression. She looked like she was about to say something. I flashed a smile, hoping to disarm her and swiftly leant across, opening the door to let her out.
When I was on my own in Lydia’s apartment, the euphoria faded. I knew I’d violated Lydia by switching into her body and it made me feel anxious. I tried to shrug off the bad feeling as I wandered into her living room and plonked myself down on the leather sofa. I pressed my fingertips together in a prayer like pose, and came to the conclusion I would give myself one hour to fathom out what was going on, and if I was none the wiser after that, I would go home and switch back regardless.
The leather felt cold beneath me. I leant behind and pulled the fake zebra-skin throw off the back of the couch and tucked it around me. It smelt of Lydia’s vanilla perfume.
For the next hour or so, I sat absent-mindedly picking nail varnish off Lydia’s perfectly manicured nails, while my thoughts went round in circles. I had established I wasn’t going mad, and I had worked out how to switch into other people’s bodies, but what I couldn’t understand was why. What was the point of it all? I wondered if it was completely random, some kind of weird phenomenon that I would never truly understand.
I toyed with the idea of telling someone. But what then? They’d want me to prove it, and I didn’t know if that was even possible. And if I was able to prove it, would I be carted away to some secret Government location and subjected to all kinds of invasive tests?
The whole time I was thinking, I had to compete with the funny sounds in my ears. I remembered Kerry’s granddad used to complain about something similar. He called it tinnitus. It was strange Lydia never mentioned she suffered from it as well. Well, she had my sympathy, it was exhausting.
~
Lydia’s silver tabby, Chloe, extended her claws through the throw and buried them into my thigh.
Disorientated, my eyes shot open and I was surprised to see daylight streaming in through the horizontal blinds. The fog cleared from my mind and I remembered why I was on Lydia’s sofa. My heart raced.
I picked Chloe up and placed her against my chest, stroking her fluffy body while she rattled and purred. It had a calming effect on me.
“God, Chloe, I’ve been asleep for hours. I hope your daddy’s not due home any time soon.”
Chloe stopped purring, stuck her back leg out, and began washing herself. I knew I couldn’t just lie there, so after a few moments I picked her up and plopped her on the floor. She looked up at me in disgust.
“I’m sorry, puss. I need to go home and switch back.” Saying the words out loud highlighted how absurd the whole thing was.
Chloe chose to ignore me, and sprung back onto my lap. I slumped back, stroking her head. “You’re right, you know. If I switch back now, I’ll have achieved nothing.”
I tried to come up with a plan. The tinnitus made it difficult to concentrate, but I remembered Lydia’s car was in the garage, so I decided my best bet would be to go into town as Lydia had intended, and collect it. It was the least I could do for her. I would use the time in-between to try and pick up any clues and work out what was going on. If I didn’t discover anything by the time I switched back, at least I’d know I gave it my best shot, and made up for sleeping on the job.
I had a small battle with my conscience as I hunted in Lydia’s handbag for the diary she kept in there. Her life was highly organised, and I knew that diary was the centre of her universe. Rummaging amongst the expensive make-up and perfume, I found the black leather-bound book I was looking for. I slipped it out of the bag and flicked through it. I found the garage details scribbled down under the date. She had added, ‘pick up after five-thirty.’
Next, I wandered through to her en-suite to freshen up. I decided against showering, it just didn’t seem right. Instead, I washed my face, cleaned my teeth and prayed that deodorant and perfume would suffice. In her wardrobe, on the left hand-side, was an outfit already pulled together. I took it off the hanger and climbed into the floaty top and linen trousers. I pulled on one of her jackets and finished it off with the scarf she’d looped round the same hanger. Looking at the finished ensemble in the mirror, it was perfect; perfect on Lydia’s body, anyway.
I grabbed her bag off the work-surface and after double-checking her car keys were in there, I walked out the door.
~
I sat on the bus heading into town and felt paranoid that everyone knew what I was up to. I felt myself starting to sweat and tried to slow my breathing down to make me relax. I had to keep reminding myself there was no need to feel self-conscious. Nobody knew this wasn’t my body, so to them I looked completely normal. All I had to do was act it. I folded my hands on my lap and looked out the window, breathing in through my nose for a count of four and then out through my mouth.
I didn’t know if I was imagining it, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched. After a couple of minutes the feeling of eyes burning into the back of me became so intense, I couldn’t bear it any longer and glimpsed over my shoulder. I had been right. Sitting two rows behind was a plump woman with an orange glow above her head. I assumed it must be coming from the skylight. My eyes connected with hers and she gave me a discreet smile and nod, before looking away. I smiled back, too late for her to see, and faced forward again. See Gracie, nobody knows, so stop panicking.
The bus pulled in at the station and I hopped out of my seat and followed a line of passengers down the stairs. As I stepped off the platform the smell of diesel hit me, causing a wave of queasiness. When I thought about it, I realised it might not just be the fumes making me feel ill. Lydia hadn’t had anything to eat since that cookie the night before.
I managed to dodge a motorbike on the zebra crossing as I headed towards a small cafe across the road. A man on his way out stopped in his tracks, beamed, and held the door for me to enter.
“There you go, babe,” he said, his eyes twinkling.
“Oh, thank you.”
He looked me up and down. “The pleasure is all mine.”
Inside, it was warm and cosy and the smell of freshly roasted coffee was a pleasant contrast to the diesel fumes. I walked past the little wooden tables and chairs towards the counter.
There was a young lad serving. He was tall and wiry with pale blonde hair and fresh acne scars. He looked up and did a double-take. He knows. His cheeks went red and he stuttered as he asked for my order. I felt my own cheeks go red and wondered if I should make a sharp exit, but instead heard myself order a tuna-melt Panini and a skinny latte.
He turned to the unit behind him and as I watched him place a glass under the coffee machine, I tried hard to slow my breathing down. I had to keep reminding myself there was no way anyone could know I was in someone else’s body.
He walked back, scooped up a Panini from the display and placed it on the toaster. His eyes flicked in my direction and he gave me a shy smile, before turning back to fiddle with the coffee machine. As it whirred and spluttered to life, the real reason for his reaction clicked into place and I felt relief wash over me.
I’d seen the same reaction happen on numerous occasions before but never to me personally, and that was what had thrown me. It had nothing to do with me and everything to do with the way Lydia looked. My breathing went back to normal and when toaster guy looked my way again, I smiled back to try and put him at ease.
I batted away guilty feelings as I peeled a ten pound note from Lydia’s purse, making a mental note to somehow pay her back without her knowing.
There was a table free next to the window, so I walked across and put my latte down. I unfolded my napkin and placed it over the s
ticky patch left behind from someone’s cake, before sitting down and biting into the warm tuna and melted cheese.
I peered around at the other customers as I chewed. There was an old couple sitting nearby, sharing a pot of tea and a cheese baguette. Neither of them seemed interested in me. They were more interested in the woman sitting opposite, trying to encourage a fidgeting toddler to eat his sandwich.
My attention was drawn to a couple sitting in the far corner who appeared to be in the middle of a domestic. The girl was narrowing her eyes and shaking her head, but it was the guy I couldn’t take my eyes off. He was the spitting image of my ex, Mike. He had the same surfer dude style going on, all tanned skin and scruffy blonde hair.
I watched Mike’s double trying to placate the girl opposite him, and my heart sank as a memory of mine and Mike’s last night together popped into my head.
It was a few months earlier and I’d thought we were ticking along okay up until then. We’d shared a takeaway pizza and some wine, had a play fight which ended with us falling into bed as usual, fumbling to get each other’s clothes off. Our lovemaking had been clumsy and fast, but I didn’t mind. I was happy if Mike was happy. I’d drifted off to sleep contentedly wrapped in his arms, but as daylight dawned I was aware of being watched. I gingerly opened one eye to be faced with Mike, leaning on his elbows, staring at me. His blonde hair was all messed up and his fringe was flopping into his eyes.
“Gracie babe, I think it’s time for a break,” he’d said, matter-of-factly.
In my half-asleep confusion, I honestly thought he was talking about a holiday, or maybe a weekend mini-break in a nice hotel somewhere. A lazy smile had started to form on my lips, but froze in its place after the next killer line.
“I think if we end this now, we’ll have great memories between us, but any longer and we’ll just end up hating each other.”
“Wh-what?” I’d whimpered pathetically, my mind catching up with his wild statement, “I couldn’t hate you, I-I could never hate you, I thought we were happy?” I felt my chin start to wobble. “Did I do something wrong?”
I sat up and raked my fingers through my hair, pulling it over my ears. Why is he telling me this now? How could I put over a good case for him to stay with last night’s make up smudged down my face, and morning breath?
He rolled over, got off the bed, and turned to look at me with pity in his eyes.
“Gracie, it’s over. I’m sorry.”
I watched him pull on his white boxers, the Calvin Klein’s I’d bought him for his birthday in July, and felt my emotions start to run away with me. It all got a bit messy after that. To my great shame I remember crying and begging him not to leave, but he had been firm. “Don’t do this babe, don’t embarrass yourself. You deserve someone better than me.”
He was right of course, but I couldn’t see it then. I even struggled to see it when I found out he’d been sleeping with my younger sister Michelle, while we’d still been together. The final nail in the coffin was when Michelle moved out of Mum’s, and into Mike’s bedsit.
I’d tried to put on a brave face and tell myself they weren’t worth my tears, but I was a fool to think I could control my emotions. If I didn’t keep my brain occupied at all times, the raw feelings would come from nowhere and overwhelm me. No matter how bad it was having my heart broken by Mike, the betrayal I felt by my little sister had knocked me sideways.
As children we’d endured more than most, and the result had been a bond so strong, I thought nothing could break it. How wrong could you be?
My confidence was in tatters and, bit by bit, I’d withdrawn into my shell, turning down Kerry’s relentless offers of nights out and the odd blind date.
After things settled down a bit, Michelle began turning up at Mum’s when I was there. It was far too often to be a coincidence. As soon as I saw her walk up the drive, my heart would sink and I would begin planning excuses to make a sharp exit. For Mum’s sake I tried to keep things civil, and even managed some polite conversation, but the words were forced and awkward, with Mum jumping in every other word, trying to jolly us along. It was pitiful.
I sighed and picked up my latte. I had to stop torturing myself by raking over the details. It didn’t matter how many times I thought it through and tried to make excuses for Michelle, nothing could change the fact that she slept with my boyfriend behind my back.
I closed my eyes to concentrate my thoughts, and jumped when the tinnitus started up again. Louder this time, noises rushed furiously inside my head. In the background there was another less distinctive sound. It was the same whispering sounds as before, but I couldn’t pick out actual words. My head started to thump, so I opened my eyes and felt relief as the volume dipped sharply.
My stomach wouldn’t stop churning, and I only managed a couple more bites of the Panini. I dropped it back on the plate, and finished off the latte instead. Then I stacked the glass on my plate, and looked round to say thanks to the guy who had served me. He’d been staring and his cheeks flushed with colour.
Back on the street I felt a trickle of sweat run down my spine. It was guilt. Using Lydia made me feel dirty and I longed to switch back into my own body and forget the whole thing. I don’t know what I’d expected to discover parading around as Lydia, but I was no closer to finding anything out than when I’d been in my own body.
Amongst the crowds of people walking along, I spotted a man with an orange glow above him. It reminded me of the woman on the bus earlier, but clearly there were no skylights around this time. As he drew closer I saw the orange glow was actually a mixture of colours; different hues of red, yellow and gold, pulsing and swirling together to form the orange light.
The man stopped walking and stared directly at me. I gave him a half-smile as I tried to fathom out what was causing the strange effect above him. He didn’t smile back. In fact, his face fell into a frown and he jabbed his finger towards his wrist. I checked behind to see if he was signalling to someone else, but there was no one obvious. I looked back at him, shrugged apologetically and carried on walking.
After a couple of hours spent aimlessly wandering, I checked my watch and felt relieved it was time to head to the garage.
I didn’t know the area very well, but I had a rough idea where all the big garages were. I headed away from the hustle and bustle of the main street, towards a side-road that I thought would lead me to the street I needed.
I began walking up a gentle slope, towards some shabby-looking industrial units at the top. After a few steps, as usual, I doubted my sense of direction and turned to look behind me. I squinted towards the sign and caught my breath. Standing at the bottom of the hill was the man with the orange glow. He was watching me, and he looked furious.
I turned round, fixed my eyes forward and quickened my pace. Beads of sweat formed on my brow and upper lip as I panted, walking as fast as I could without actually running. I was sure if I did break into a run, he would too. All the while I listened for his footsteps behind me.
After a few metres, I checked over my shoulder to see if he was following. Relief washed over me when I saw he hadn’t moved. He had his hand up to his ear like he was talking to someone on the phone. I was too far away to hear any conversation, but I could tell he was still watching me.
As I drew level with the first warehouse, I could just make out a garage on the corner up ahead. It wasn’t the BMW one I needed, but I knew they were all clustered together, so at least I was in the right location.
I tried to shake off the panic. Obviously being Lydia wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. I usually wandered along anonymously, blending into the crowd, but she managed to bring out strong feelings in people.
I jumped as without warning a car screeched to a standstill beside me. Before I was fully aware of what was happening, someone had jumped out, forced something over my head and bundled me inside. I felt the vehicle speeding away before the person who grabbed me even shut the door. Strong hands pushed my head down into t
he seat. I was too shocked to make a noise.
CHAPTER 4
.
Interrogation
.
The material over my head was rough and scratched at my face. It was hard to breathe with my face pressed down and all I could manage were fast, shaky gasps. His hands squashed me into the seat for what seemed an eternity, although in reality it was probably just minutes.
“Just up here on the left will do.” The voice next to me was deep and smooth.
“You sure? Shouldn’t we go straight to the office?” came another voice. I assumed this was the driver.
“There’s no time, we have to do this now.”
My breathing became erratic and my heartbeat increased until I was sure it would burst out of my chest. I wondered if I was going to be raped, murdered even. This was Lydia’s body, not mine and I had no right to be in it. I was going to be responsible for whatever happened. I wondered if it would result in both of us losing our lives, two for the price of one.
I felt the car slowing down as we turned off the road. There was the crunch of tyres on gravel and the car eased to a stop.
The pressure released as the man removed his hand from my head. I stayed where I was, curled into the foetal position, silently praying.
Daylight cut through the darkness as the sack was ripped from my head. I automatically put my hands up to cover my eyes.
“Please don’t hurt me,” I whimpered. My throat was so tight I could barely speak.
“Who are you?” The smooth voice held a menacing tone.
I was too scared to answer him. After a few moments of silence, he grabbed my shoulders and forced me to sit up. I opened one eye and his face came into view.
I blinked a couple of times trying to reconcile the image in front of me, which was a complete contrast to the one I’d been expecting. I’d imagined an older guy with a shaved head and covered in tattoos. The one in front of me looked around his mid-twenties. He had dark hair, deep brown eyes, and I noticed he was also sporting a glow above his head. This one was yellow.
Soul Protector (Soul Protector Series) Page 3