by Gina Watson
Her eyes were too wide so she took a deep breath. “Hey.” What else could she say? I miss you? I love you? I’ll fight for you? “It’s really good to see you.”
He took her hand and led her toward the library. “I couldn’t agree more.” He kissed her knuckles. She was so confused, but she shut her mind down and let her heart lead.
“I wanted to congratulate you.” She pressed her lips together to prevent saying how she would really like to congratulate him. She handed him the bag of gifts she’d collected. “You’ve worked hard and you’re a wonderful doctor. The field of emergency medicine is gaining a hero.”
His eyes found hers and the intensity in his stare saw her vulnerability. He sensed that she needed his touch and so he moved in pulling her toward his warm strong body. “I couldn’t have done it without you, Bug.”
“Bug.” She whispered.
His forehead furrowed, his stare curious. “I miss that name.”
He swallowed thickly and then focused on his gift bag. “Now what do we have here?” He pulled out the leather messenger bag and admired the brass plate with his initials engraved on it. “It’s just perfect, Bug. I’ll use it everyday and I’ll think of you.” He smiled. He dug around in the bag and removed the silly pillowcases. “E.R. doctors do it stat.” He laughed—full belly jiggling laughter. “I think I know just the place for these.”
“Our bed … er … I mean your bed. I’d ordered them before …” She choked and her hand instinctively clasped her mouth.
“Bug.” He pulled her into his chest. “I have something for you.” He pulled a folded piece of paper from his pocket. “Meet me at this address at ten o’clock tonight.”
“I don’t want my things. They remind me of you so I’ll have to get new things.”
“Be there, Bug.”
“Jackson.” He walked through the door. “Jackson.” She followed after him, but he walked with purpose and waved a hand in the air without looking back.
What was she supposed to do now? He had her things to give back to her. She couldn’t think of better symbolism for the door being shut on their relationship. She wouldn’t go because to do so would be admitting they were through and she just couldn’t do that.
She sat back on the chaise lounge in the library and sobbed. How would she get through this? She cried until her body could no longer make tears. It was getting late and she had half a mind to go to the stupid address and give Jackson a good swift kick in his balls. She sighed.
Her mother entered and sat next to her on the chaise. She patted her hair and Clara rested her head on her mother’s shoulder. “Are you ready?”
“Ready for what?” Her throat was raw from crying.
“To go see Jackson.”
“He told you?”
“He told me to ensure you’d go.”
“I don’t want to go in.” She snorted because she couldn’t breathe. “It’s just too final, I can’t do it.”
“Honey”—she put her hands on Clara’s shoulders—“things aren’t always as they appear.”
She was dumbfounded because Jackson had spoken those same words to her. “Mom?”
“Clara, I can’t get into too much of it right now because we need to go. Trust me. You want to go to the address on that paper.”
“But Mom—”
“Trust me.” Her mother stood and gently guided Clara from the room.
In the car Clara’s mind short circuited as she tried on different scenarios. If Jackson involved her mother he must really want her stuff gone. And why meet at this weird address? Maybe Samantha was already living with him. A gasp escaped her throat as she rested her head against the window.
Her mom placed a reassuring hand on her knee. “Easy, Clara. I promise you’re creating an impossible situation in your mind.”
“What am I supposed to think?”
“I suggest you stop thinking for the time being.” Her mother turned on the radio and Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time” blared through the speakers.
Mom reached out to change the station. “No, I want to hear it.”
They parked on the curb somewhere in downtown Baton Rouge. She knew this place. It was dark, but still familiar. She looked left, then right. “Hey, we’re at Bon Mange. What are we doing here?”
“I can assure you we’re not going to Bon Mange. We’re going across the street.” She indicated the direction with a toss of her head.
“Mom, you know this place?”
“I do.”
Her mother opened the door to a blank storefront and Clara walked into a dark space. “There’s no one here.”
Overhead lights came to life and illuminated the space. Her entire family was standing before her. Her mother whispered in her ear from behind, “We’re all here baby, because we love you.”
Clara’s eyes scanned from brother to brother. Her sisters-in-law were all there as well. In sum, six sets of St. Martins stood before her, along with her mom and dad. Her eyes landed on a large sign, Clara’s Artisan Cheeses, leaning against three cheese cases. The middle case was operational and full of cheese. Her jaw dropped. She observed her brothers. Most of them smiled. However, Clay looked just as confused as she felt.
Her smile slowly stretched across her face and she let out the breath she’d been holding. “I love it! But what’s going on?”
Footsteps thudded across the floor behind her brothers. She couldn’t see who it was, but heard the sound of determined shoe soles hitting the wood floor. Then she saw him. Her knees weakened and her smile waned, replaced by shock.
“Jackson,” She whispered. He wore a classic black tuxedo complete with bowtie and looked more ravishing than she’d ever remembered.
He stood before her and offered a nervous chuckle. His eyes cast down for a few seconds. The room was so quiet she could hear the blood rushing through her ears. When his gaze returned she knew he’d regained his composure and was about to share something that would change everything.
“Clara. I owe you and your family an apology.” He took her hands in his and intently gazed into her eyes. “What I did was wrong. No matter how much I loved you, I shouldn’t have touched you. I should have waited, but I was weak. I needed your innocence and goodness that day”—his voice cracked—“and every day since.” His eyes held steady on hers as moisture collected in them. “I’ve loved you since I was seventeen and you were seven.”
“It all started with your breakfast announcements. Night and day flowed with the current. Sorrow in my wake, emptiness ahead with nothing to push against the tide and upset life’s disappointing balance. I’d witnessed what happened to my parents when they’d attempted to veer off course and was afraid to live life. With your calm reassurance and determined spirit, you alone brought me out of the shadows of my nightmares and let me follow at your heels into life. I fell in love with you and you delicately reintroduced me to life and all it had to offer. I want to love you for the rest of my life.”
“I got a job at Regency Memorial starting off at a hundred and fifteen thousand per year. I used it to get you a line of credit for this space. You can order what you need as far as stocking the case and anything else you will need. I believe in you, Bug. I’ll need you to sell some cheese.” His smile contrasted the tiredness in his eyes.
“I want your family to accept my proposal, but if they won’t I don’t think I’ll be strong enough to live without you in my life.” His smile waned and his eyes tightened with a lifetime of grief. “While it would be the best blessing in the world to have your family accept me, accept us, I’m not leaving here without you.
“We’ll see how it goes for a while. I’ll keep my job at the station to cover additional expenses. It’s all going to work out, Bug.” He went down on one knee. “I want to marry you, but I put all my money into this place. I want you to be mine. No more questions, no one else telling us our love can’t be true. I’ve got a dime store ring in my pocket. We can marry in this shop if you want. Nothing fancy, but
you’ll be mine, I’ll be yours. No one can tear us apart. I was wrong to break us up for the sake of others. I love your family, but I cannot survive without you. Tears fell from his eyes. “Super selfish of me I know, but I’m dying without you. I only broke us up because I didn’t want you at odds with your family. If you marry me you risk losing them, but I’ll give you everything I can get my hands on. I’ll love you so fiercely you won’t be able to breathe. I promise you forever, together.”
She smothered him with her chest as she pulled him to her. Her hands around his neck held on tight, as if he could so easily slip though her fingers again. Through her tears she said, “I’m not leaving without you either.”
They stood, their hands locked together as they turned to face her family. “Mom, Dad?” Jackson squeezed her hand and they held tight to one another as they awaited a response.
Her mother’s palms went to her cheeks. “Honey, you and Jackson always had an intense connection. Your eyes always found one another in a crowded room, even at public venues—if he was there, you’d gravitate toward him. I’ve watched it play out for years.” She turned her attention to Jackson. “I love you, Jackson. Take care of my baby girl.” She pulled him to her and hugged him tightly for several seconds, maybe minutes. She could hear Jackson’s cries.
Her father hugged them and expressed that Jackson had always been a St. Martin, and would continue to be even when Clara took the name Olivier.
The door opened and Samantha walked through it. “Sorry I’m late.” She handed them a bottle of champagne. “Congratulations.”
Jackson took the bottle, “Thank you. Clara, you remember Samantha. She’s the realtor who helped make all of this possible.”
Suddenly all of the questions Clara had surrounding the woman standing before her became resolved.
“I can’t stay long, but I wanted to pop in and make sure you had everything you needed.”
“We’re great. Thank you.” Jackson said.
“I hope you two will be very happy.”
She hugged them and then she was gone. Clara’s jealously had been unfounded and she felt more than a little silly.
All of her brothers and their wives approached and offered their congratulations. And then there were Clay and Eve. He pulled her to his mammoth chest. “Baby girl, I could never leave you, not for anything. Even if you marry this guy.” His thumb gestured toward Jackson. “Truth is, Jackson is a great guy. One of the best.”
Clay’s eyes met Jackson’s. “She’s my baby girl, I just wanted to be sure she wouldn’t get hurt. I’ll protect her with my life until the day I die.” He shrugged. “It is what it is, but I’ve gotta say I’m glad it’s you. I know you love her and will stop at nothing to keep her happy. I love you, man.”
They hugged as huge salty tears streamed down her face. This was the best night she could remember and the first of many more.
Jackson had wine, cheese, olives, crackers, and various other fixings to make a celebratory night out of their engagement. They all talked and laughed. Jackson’s sultry consistent pout was gone and for a moment she missed it until his eyes caught hers and the telltale sparkle in them held all of their bedroom secrets. His sexy smolder was back and stronger than ever. She couldn’t wait to be in his bed tonight and wake-up in his arms in the morning.
Clara loved her family, but she was glad when, around two in the morning, they started to disburse. She and Jackson accompanied Clay and Eve to the door of the restaurant. Clay held Clara’s hands in his. “Will you forgive me for being an obstinate asshat?”
She smiled. “I will. I just feel sorry for Eve. She has to live with you.”
“Don’t feel sorry for Eve. She has me right where she wants me.” He winked at Eve and she yawned against his chest.
“Ugh, I don’t want to witness that.”
“I love you, Clara Bear.” He placed a piece of her hair behind her ear.
“I love you back.”
“Jackson, I wouldn’t trust anyone else with my baby girl. I know you’ll treat her well. For what it’s worth there was never a doubt in my mind about that. She’s my baby sister. I’m glad it’s you and I’m sorry about the face punch. I was wrong about you two. I can see you live to give her the world.” They hugged.
“I would have done the same thing for a baby sister of mine. I’m sorry for my deception.”
“Hey, I get it. Love makes you do crazy shit.” He looked at his wife whose head was against his chest. Her eyes were closed. “Looks like I better get her home.”
Jackson locked the door behind them. “I’m parked in the back. We can—”
She jumped into his arms wrapping hers around his neck and her legs around his waist. “Cracker Jack. I love you.”
He giggled. “I’m glad because there’s like a hundred pounds of cheese to sell.”
“Can I see my ring now?” She looked down into his eyes and watched the lines across his forehead become more pronounced. He was embarrassed about the ring.
With her in his arms he walked to one of the stools at the counter and set her gently down. He dug around in his jacket. “As soon as I can I’m going to make this ring right. This one is only temporary.” He placed the ring on her finger. It was very simple with its silver band and small diamond in the center.
“Jackson, I want this ring. Forever. This is the ring I want to peer down at when we’re old and gray because when I look at it I’ll recall this moment. It’s perfect.” She couldn’t imagine ever wanting to replace their memories with something else.
His hands cradled her jaw and his thumbs swirled in her cheeks. “God, I’ve missed your dimples.” He kissed her. His touch was slow, reverent, and sweet. Like he was discovering her all over again, for the first time.
Chapter 22
Clara and Jackson rode back to the apartment hand in hand. At each red light they caught, he leaned over to kiss her lips and they got honked at a couple of times. Using the lights from the streetlamps she stole several glances at her beautiful ring.
“I love the way you look in a tux.”
“I’m glad, though I think you’d look much better in it.” She giggled.
In their bedroom he removed her sandals and then pressed his thumbs into the arch of her foot before moving to the other. She sighed from the indulgent pleasure.
“Jackson, that day Clay brought me to you in the hospital I thought … I thought if you didn’t make it my life wouldn’t be worth living.”
“Clara.” He whispered.
“I just don’t want to be in a world where you don’t exist. It was hard on me when you gave up on us. I know it was hard on you too, and you were suffering because you were giving me the gift of family. But you know what?”
He kissed her lips, smiling against them. “What’s that, Bug?”
“I’m so tired of everyone telling me what’s best for me. I know what I need to survive in this life and it’s you. I’m really kind of angry about the whole ordeal.”
He chuckled next to her ear. “If this is you angry I’d hate to see you irate.” She could hear him inhale and the slight moan when his lips closed around her earlobe.
She stood and pushed playfully at his chest. “Are you making fun of me?”
“No, Bug, I love your spirit. I’ve missed you.” He turned her and his hands wrapped around her body to clasp just under her breasts. His head rested on her shoulder. “And you’re right, I’ve undervalued your opinions and actions when it came to our relationship, but I’m hoping you’ll give me this one. I know what it is to live without family—the pain of having no one and the unrelenting pit of loneliness. I never wanted that pain for you. Even if it meant I’d be living in pain at the loss of your love and light from my life. But I’m too weak to live without you. I concede, I can’t do it. But now we don’t have to. Please don’t be angry with me on our engagement night. Or the day after our engagement depending on your point of view.”
“I’m not angry with you. I don’t think I�
��ve ever been angry with you. I think it’s impossible.” She pulled from him to turn and gaze into his eyes. “I want to ask you something that I’ve asked you before, but this time I want you to answer.” He grimaced, indicating he knew what was coming. “Will you?”
He swallowed, the action making a hollow thud in his throat. He nodded as he unzipped her shorts and let them fall to her ankles. “I will, but I want you naked. At least give me that.”
“I want you naked too.” She started on the cummerbund around his waist.
He had her down to her tank top. “My heart belongs to an E.R. doctor.” He smiled and kissed her lips.
“It does.”
His gaze on her was unyielding, unblinking. “I’m glad.” He pulled her shirt off, along with her bra. They stood before one another naked.
“Okay, we’re naked.” She cleared her throat.
“All right, shoot.” He squared his shoulders, prepared for her assault. But her questions weren’t meant to hurt him.
She shook her head. “Nah uh.”
“Are we done with that line of questioning then?” The lilt in his voice sounded hopeful.
She shook her head. “Get on the bed.” She pushed him until he sat against the headboard. On her knees, she crawled between his legs. His brow hitched as he looked down at her. She took his growing cock into her hand and pumped. “I want to know about your parents. I barely remember them. I can’t even recall what they looked like, but I remember them coming to the estate for a barbeque.”
Her tongue swiped at the bead of come that had collected on the head of his dick. He inhaled through clenched teeth. “Bug, why would you want to know about that? They’re dead.”
Awe, Cracker Jack. She was instantly sad for him. “They created you and their spirit lives on in you. Of course I want to know about the people responsible for bringing you into the world.”
He inhaled deeply. “My father was a civil engineer, educated at Stamford. Eventually he became the city manager for Baton Rouge. My mother was a non-profit lawyer, educated at NYU.”
She looked up, releasing him from her lips with a pop. “I don’t want to know about their resumes. I want to know the intimate details of their day-to-day lives. What did they like? What did they not like?” Grasping him in her hands she said, “I’m going to make love to you with my mouth while you talk. Don’t think, just remember.”