“Look what?”
His frown deepened. “You don’t look like my baby girl. Where did you get that dress?”
“It’s Martha’s,” Kate said. “And I don’t want to look like a baby.”
“You certainly don’t now,” her daddy said with furrowed brow. “You look about twenty.”
Kate smiled. “Really?”
“That’s not a good thing,” he said.
A shock of cold tingled in her toes before creeping up her legs, into her stomach, and reaching for her chest.
Kate’s mama touched Kate’s upper arm. “Go inside and wash your face.”
“Why?” The chill clawed up Kate’s throat, choking her. “I like it. I think it looks pretty.”
Her mama squeezed her arm. “Do as I say.”
Kate looked at her daddy. His eyes were clouded and stormy gray. His jaw was as rigid as a handsaw.
“But I don’t want to,” Kate said. “Doesn’t it matter if I like it or not?”
“Next thing you know you’ll be telling me you have a boyfriend,” her mama said, trying to lighten the seriousness that fell from the trees and pressed against them.
“I might,” Kate blurted. Her mama’s dark eyes widened as she inhaled sharply.
Her daddy stepped forward, and the grass darkened beneath his shoes. “Do as your mom says. Go inside.” His command shoved Kate backward with its angry force. Kate’s bottom lip trembled. Her daddy rarely ever rose his voice and never at her.
The bitter chill detonated inside her, and she stumbled toward the house. Darkness pressed in at the edges of her vision, and her knees slammed into a stepping stone. Kate crumpled onto her side.
LIPS PRESSED AGAINST hers, angry and bruising. A hand fisted in her hair and pulled back her neck. Her breathing hitched, and her scalp burned. She dropped flat on her back against the seat, nearly suffocating beneath his weight. He grabbed at the gaudy plastic necklace she wore and yanked. Small beads launched into the air like red plastic fireworks, raining down on her face, and his laughter exploded, echoed off the windows, and tears streaked the sides of her face.
“Please don’t,” she begged with her nose running and throat pinched tight in fear and desperation. “Please…”
“Kate, please, baby,” someone cooed. “Wake up. Come back to me.”
Kate’s eyes opened, and she sucked air into her lungs. Darkness had fallen around her, and tiny blades of grass poked into her calves. She focused on a face leaning over hers.
“Mama?” Her voice croaked like a frog on the riverbank.
Her mama exhaled and looked over her shoulder. “Don’t call Dr. Hamilton. She’s okay, Sean.” Her mama’s face leaned over hers. “Don’t you dare scare me like that again.” She lowered her voice. “You’ve never been out for so long before. Have you been drinking your tea?”
Kate nodded. Every day, more than once. Her daddy knelt beside her.
“You okay, Little Blackbird?” He looked across Kate at her mama. “You think it’s just the blood sugar? Did you eat, baby?”
Kate tried to remember. Martha had mentioned she’d already eaten before she met Kate in the hardware store, but Kate and her daddy hadn’t eaten lunch yet. At Martha’s they’d drunk lemonade, but they’d had nothing else. “No, sir.”
“Let’s get you inside. Your mom made your favorite–”
Her mama cleared her throat, and her daddy chuckled as he slid his hands beneath Kate’s back and lifted her as though she was a baby doll.
“Okay, so it’s my favorite,” he said, “but I know you like it too.” He helped Kate to her feet.
She wobbled and rubbed the front of her neck, feeling where the necklace had been. She felt the beads pelting her in the face as the man in the darkness of her mind laughed. Once they were inside the house, her mama told her to go get cleaned up and then she’d have tea and dinner ready.
Kate stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Mascara leaked down the sides of her face. Dark berry lipstick smeared below her lip. She looked like a bleeding watercolor left behind in a rainstorm. She scrubbed her face until it shone pink and raw, and she couldn’t stop thinking about the girl trapped in a car with a boy whose intentions were vile. She met her reflection’s gaze, pressed her trembling hands against the sink, and whispered, “Who are you? You know I can’t help you.”
KATE HAD TO beg her parents to drop her off at Martha’s house before the carnival. Her mama complained that they’d always gone to the carnival as a family, but Kate’s daddy convinced her mama to let Kate go with her friends. Friends, Kate thought. Even now in her mind the word sounded sacred, and she buried it in her chest just to feel its warmth.
“I’ll meet up with y’all later,” Kate promised as she jumped out of her parents’ car and ran up the path leading to the Lees’ front porch.
An hour later, Martha, Betsy, Charlotte, and Kate piled into Charlotte’s blue Cadillac. The radio blasted so loudly that the windows rattled in their frames, and the girls sang along with Buddy Holly at the top of their lungs. Kate smiled so widely that her cheeks ached.
Kate wore the same blue dress Martha had given her days ago, and her daddy had even bought her a new pair of black ballet flats. She’d nearly cried when she opened the shoebox and saw them shining beneath white tissue paper. She clicked her heels together and thought about Geoffrey and about what his reaction to her new look might be.
Charlotte pulled into the field that hugged one side of the carnival. The barren field acted as a makeshift parking lot for the crowd. The girls climbed out and straightened their clothes and checked their makeup in the side-view mirror. Martha twirled and watched her blurry striped reflection spin in the car’s paint. Charlotte spritzed on perfume and tossed the bottle into the front seat.
“Let’s go,” she said with a wave.
Long before they paid the admission fee, received handfuls of pink tickets, and entered through the arched gateway into the carnival, Kate smelled popcorn, melting sugar, and hot frying oil. Colorful lights twinkled and pulsed all around her. The Ferris wheel looked like a circular rainbow of color twirling round and round against the starry night sky. A multitude of sounds peppered the air—laughter, the pipe organ music of the carousel, shouts, carnival workers calling people to their rides and booths, ringing bells. When she entered into the carnival, Kate spun around in a complete circle as she’d always done as a child, trying to take everything in all at once.
Charlotte grabbed her arm and tugged her. “Come on, Kate. Sally is already here, and so are the guys.”
Geoffrey, Matthias, and Mikey sat at a game booth firing water pistols into the mouths of clowns while the clown hats rose higher and higher in a race to the top. The guys taunted each other, and when Kate heard Geoffrey’s laughter, her heart squeezed. Sally sat on the stool next to Matthias, but she wasn’t playing the game with them. Instead, she sat pulling spun sugar from a ball of cotton candy that looked like a fluffy pink balloon on a cardboard stick. Ted and John smoked cigarettes off to the side of the booth while watching to see who’d win the game.
Ted looked away from the clowns and noticed the girls. He dropped his dying cigarette onto the dirt and snuffed it with the toe of his shoe. “Check out this bunch of beauties.” He ogled them.
Martha leaned over Geoffrey’s shoulder. “Who’s winning?”
He glanced up at her and then cursed as his clown hat lost momentum. “I was until you distracted me.”
Martha laughed and shoved his shoulder. Matthias’ clown hat set off a whirl of alarms and blinking bulbs as it reached the top first.
Mikey replaced his water gun into its holster. “Matt, did it ever occur to you to let someone else win?”
Matthias grinned. “Never.”
The booth operator handed Matthias a stuffed koala bear with marble-size black eyes and a red bow tie. Matthias quickly passed the prize to the nearest girl, Charlotte. Her shock faded into a sweet smile, and she gazed at him. Kate recognized the long
ing in Charlotte’s eyes, but Matthias was looking at Kate, and she fidgeted beneath his intense stare.
Kate peered down to make sure her dress was presentable and her shoes weren’t disgusting from walking through the field. When she glanced up, Matthias still watched her with knit eyebrows. Kate looked away and saw Geoffrey scanning the group.
Geoffrey scowled at Martha. “I thought y’all were bringing Kate.”
“They did,” Matthias said, elbowing Geoffrey in the ribs and nodding toward Kate.
She attempted a genuine smile and lifted her hand in a small wave. Geoffrey’s thick eyebrows rose on his high forehead.
“Oh my God,” he said, crossing the center of the group and standing in front of her. He grabbed both of her hands and then spun her around. “Would you look at you?” He laughed and she blushed. “You look so different.”
Kate stopped spinning and looked at him wide-eyed, holding her breath. “Different good?”
“God, yes,” he said.
Betsy nudged Geoffrey. “Doesn’t she look like Ava Gardner?”
Geoffrey nodded his head. Disbelief dilated his pupils, rimming them with a thin line of green. “You could be her twin. Her better looking twin.” He touched Kate’s hair. “I like this.”
Kate smiled at the ground, shivering as his hands slipped through strands of her curls.
Martha stomped over. “Come on. Are we going to stand here all night or are we going to ride something?”
Ted hooked one arm through Martha’s. “Only if you’re my riding partner.” He pulled a silver, monogrammed flask from his shirt pocket. “Pick me up?”
She grinned up at him, batted her eyelashes, and uncorked the flask. She swigged it and then returned the flask to Ted. “Let’s go.” She tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder. “Are y’all coming or not?” She and Ted walked off, pushing a path through the crowd.
“Shall we?” Geoffrey asked, and Kate nodded.
They found Martha and Ted standing in line for the House of Mirrors, and the rest of the group filed in behind them. Geoffrey grinned down at her.
“What?” Kate asked, smoothing her hand down her hair.
“You,” he said, leaning his face toward hers. “You look amazing. I really want to kiss you.”
Kate shook her head, but she was smiling at the ground. She glanced up at him. “Not here.”
He nodded toward the fun house. “Inside?” He leaned closer and whispered, “Should I add it to the list?”
John pushed his flask into Geoffrey’s shoulder, and Geoffrey looked away from her. He took the offered drink, swilling it. He offered the flask to Kate, but she shook her head. The pungent scent of alcohol floated around them before the next breeze snatched it away.
“Want something to drink? A Coke?” Geoffrey asked. “Looks like we’ll be in this line for a little bit.”
“Sure.”
He leaned down and kissed the top of her head before hurrying off toward the nearest concession stand. Corn kernels burst out of large vats and filled glass machines with buttery fluffy popcorn. Hotdogs rotated beneath heat lamps. The sizzle of frying dough beckoned people from every direction. A red balloon, released by a young girl, drifted into the night sky, and Kate followed its ascent until the darkness absorbed it.
Betsy’s hair ribbon untied itself, and Charlotte paused in her conversation with Matthias to help retie the bow. Matthias turned to face Kate.
His blue eyes studied her. “New look?”
Kate shrugged. “I guess.”
Wrinkles creased his forehead, and his eyebrows drew together. “It takes a little bit of getting used to.”
A scream erupted from the House of Mirrors, and a group of high school kids stumbled out the exit, laughing and hitting each other.
She returned her attention to Matthias. His expression unnerved her. She clasped her hands together to stop herself from combing her fingers through her hair. “Why? It’s still me.”
“Is it?”
She glared at him, even though he’d voiced the same question she’d asked herself. “Of course. Just a better version.” Heat spread through her belly, and she adjusted her belt. She couldn’t meet his gaze.
Matthias shook his head. “A better version implies that the old version needed to be replaced, and I would disagree strongly with that idea.”
Kate’s irritation faded into wisps of surprise, circling in her chest. She stared at him. Before she could respond, Geoffrey pushed his way into line and grinned.
He handed her a cup filled to the brim with dark liquid. “One Coke with extra ice.” He held another cup out toward John. “Top me off, will you?” John poured liquid from his flask into Geoffrey’s cup.
Kate wanted to ask how much he’d had to drink, how much all of them had been drinking, but even the girls pulled hidden drinks from their bags, and Kate didn’t want to sound like the immature kid. She sipped her Coke, and so far, no one seemed to be acting in the ridiculous ways her mama had warned her about. Kate wondered if Evan had ever drank with them. Would he have thought this behavior was normal?
Kate always imagined alcohol turned people into strange creatures who yelled and cried and threw fine china at each other, but she’d never actually seen anyone drunk before. She finished most of her Coke by the time they moved to the front of the line, so she tossed the cup into the trash can.
A snaggletooth man asked for three tickets from Kate, and she handed them over with a hesitant smile. “Is it scary?” she asked him.
He grunted. “Not when you’ve seen what I have.”
Kate’s mouth formed a small “o,” and Geoffrey slipped his hand into hers as they entered the House of Mirrors. Warbling music blared inside the first shadowed room, sounding as though the record player had become seasick. The floor pitched at an awkward angle, and the ceiling lowered, so they walked bent over. Soon, they were crammed into a narrow hallway that spilled out into an octagonal room with black walls and twinkling lights on the ceiling. The doorway closed behind them as they entered. The sounds changed as they entered different spaces, and this music reminded Kate of an icy wind blowing through wind chimes.
The room appeared to have no doors, which meant no way out. Kate’s heartbeat gained momentum, and soon she felt the rapid pulse in her fingertips. Ted and John began moving their hands along the walls.
“There has to be a hidden door,” Martha yelled over the music. She moved toward the nearest wall and slid her hands over the smooth surface.
While everyone was busy touching the walls, Geoffrey pulled Kate across the room and away from the others. In the twinkling lights, he looked down and winked at her. He motioned with his head toward the back wall and leaned toward her.
“I remember this room.” He placed his hands on the wall and pushed. It cracked open, and Kate’s eyes widened. “Come on.”
“What about the others?” Kate asked, trying to look over her shoulder. But Geoffrey pulled her through the opening and the wall closed behind them.
Geoffrey and Kate stood on a small landing. Through an archway she saw walls of mirrors framing concentric, circular floor panels that spun in slow, lazy circles meant to confuse the patrons. Each floor panel moved in opposite directions, so they created a circular maze of mirrors and passageways. The room was completely devoid of sound, and the silence startled Kate.
“Don’t worry about the others. They’ll find their way,” Geoffrey said. He tugged her against him. “Plus, I’ve been wanting to kiss you all night. Who wouldn’t? You look like a movie star.”
Geoffrey’s mouth was warm, and she tried to ignore the hint of sour left behind by the alcohol. She lifted up on her tiptoes and pressed herself closer to him. He slid one hand up the back of her neck and into her hair. She fisted his shirt in her hands. When she opened her eyes, she saw hundreds of Kates and Geoffreys kissing each other in the spinning mirrors. They were surrounded by themselves, lost in the moment. Just when she was sure she could kiss him forever and when s
he felt her logic on the verge of completely escaping, Geoffrey pulled away.
He shoved his fingers through his hair. “God, I missed that. I can’t imagine not being able to kiss you whenever I want.”
She smiled into his chest. “You can.” Forever.
He kissed down the side of her neck, and Kate shivered. “Whenever I want?”
She closed her eyes and sighed. “Yes.”
The wall behind them swung open and knocked into Kate and Geoffrey. Matthias stepped through, followed by the rest of the group.
Martha fisted her hands on her hips. “There you are. You could have told us you found the door.”
Geoffrey grinned. “We just got in here.”
Martha lifted an eyebrow. “Looks like you got in here long enough to have lipstick smeared on your face.”
Geoffrey laughed and wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. Kate stared at the berry stain on his hand, and she reached up her fingertips to her lips. Matthias stepped onto the first revolving platform and disappeared behind a wall of mirrors. Kate eyes widened, but she followed him with Geoffrey right behind her.
The spinning floor disoriented her immediately. She stumbled and watched herself stagger from twenty different angles. She saw Matthias in the reflection, but she couldn’t see him in person. Soon, she saw everyone’s reflections spinning around her as they stepped onto the platform. Their voices filled the void of silence and echoed.
Through openings in the mirrored walls, one by one, the group disappeared, and Kate spun alone on the platform, watching multiplied versions of herself staring right back at her. But her reflection looked like a stranger—a more mature, prettier girl who only faintly resembled the sixteen-year-old Kate who ran around barefoot in the grass wearing patchwork skirts.
In the distance, Matthias appeared. Hundreds of him moved closer and closer to her. It was impossible for her to tell from which direction he approached her. She swayed on the platform. Then he stepped through one of the doorways. His hand reached out and closed over her forearm, stabilizing her.
“Lost?”
Little Blackbird Page 11