This Side of the Sun (The Sun Trilogy)

by M. Lauryl Lewis

  He chuckled again. “The kiss?”

  I nodded silently, still feeling flushed.

  “Yes. More than good.”

  “I wasn't sure if I was doing it right.”

  He looked at me slightly confused, and slightly horrified. “Hattie? That was your first kiss?”

  I bit my lip nervously. “Well, a guy dry kissed me on the lips in high school. Does that count?”

  He didn’t laugh this time. He just shook his head slowly from side to side. “No, that doesn’t count.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Stop apologizing.”

  He set his forehead against my own and cupped the base of my head in his hand, causing my heart to beat faster. My head was spinning.

  “You need to get some sleep. We’ll talk in the morning, okay?”

  I nodded.

  “Leave the bedroom door open so you get the heat from the fireplace. It’ll dry that pretty hair of yours.”

  I nodded again. He let go of me and placed his hands on my shoulders, turning me around to face the bedroom. “Sweet dreams, sweet Hattie.”

  I shuffled forward, not daring to look back at him. I climbed onto his bed and slid under the covers. The sheets smelled like fabric softener. I welcomed the softness of the mattress and pillows. It felt almost like a long awaited hug. As I drifted off to sleep, I found myself wishing that Saul was beside me.

  ***

  It was a sunny day and I was walking with a bouquet of daisies in my hands. I was barefoot and wearing a sheer blue sundress that tickled my ankles as I walked. A breeze carried in the calls of seagulls and the musty scent of low tide. There was something wrong with the sky. The color was off. It should have been a warm yellow glow from the midday sun. Instead, it was the deep color of glowing embers. It made everything look an awkward shade of pink-orange and was starting to hurt my eyes. Looking down at the flowers in my hands, I realized they were now scorched and blackened. They crumbled in my hands, falling to the ground at my feet in a small pile of ash that was quickly carried away by the wind. The wind. It had gotten stronger and was blowing hot against my face. I began to run, my bare feet burning on the sidewalk. People were slowly walking toward me. As each passed, they mouthed “it should have been you.” I looked back and saw them fade into nothing. I knew they were dead.

  A baby began crying hysterically. It sounded like it was crying from pain. I looked around, but all I could see were flames. The heat was growing intolerable. The crying was so loud that my ears were hurting. The cries changed to a woman calling out for her baby. Suddenly she was standing in front of me. Her mouth was opening as if she were screaming, but there was only the constant crackle of fire. Without hearing her words, I knew she was screaming at me for taking her baby.

  “Hattie, wake up.”

  The room was dark. I wasn’t sure where I was. Something was wrong. It was hard to breathe and my chest felt tight.

  “We have to help them,” I choked out.

  “Hattie. It’s Saul. You’re ok.”

  I sat upright in the bed, trying to catch my breath.

  “It’s so hot,” I moaned as I tried to kick off the covers.

  “I think you had a bad dream. You were trying to yell out in your sleep.”

  “The baby’s mom was looking for it. And the people who died…”

  “Shhh. It’s over now.”

  “They told me I should have been the one to die,” I said as I tried to breathe.

  My eyes were adjusting to the dark and Saul looked like an angel with the faint glow of the firelight behind him.

  “I should have died instead,” I said in a hoarse whisper.

  “No. It wasn't your time,” he said softly.

  He wrapped his strong arms around me and held me, soothing me by rubbing my back gently.

  “It was so real,” I mumbled into his neck. “I could feel the heat from the fire burning me.”

  “You’re okay now. I won’t let anything hurt you.”

  “I’m sorry I woke you up,” I said sincerely.

  “Don’t be,” he whispered. His voice had deepened noticeably.

  He unwrapped his arms from around me and placed a palm on each side of my face, forcing me to look at him.

  “I want to be here for you, Hattie. Okay?”

  I couldn’t nod my head with the way he was holding me, so just looked into his eyes. He leaned forward, hesitating with his lips close enough to mine to feel the heat, as if asking for permission. When I didn’t back away, he continued forward until his lips parted mine softly. He kissed me gently but with a passion that was stronger than our first kiss only hours before. He was so tender with me that it nearly brought tears to my eyes.

  He slowly let go of my face and moved his hands down my arms, never moving his lips from mine. His fingers ran down my upper arms slowly and lightly, sending little shivers through my skin. I closed my eyes and let myself relax under his touch. Every place his fingertips trailed was both hot and cold at the same time. I caught myself moaning softly into his mouth as he awoke desires deep within me.

  He gently broke the kiss and I sighed.

  “Was that okay?” he asked in a deep voice that hinted at longing.

  I took a moment to breathe, not quite sure how to put into words just how okay it had been. He had stirred something inside of me that I had never felt before.

  “Do you want me to stop?”

  “No,” I said, sounding a bit too desperate.

  He almost instantly returned his lips to mine. My head was spinning as I felt the warmth of his hand beneath my t-shirt. His kiss was slow and tender, yet filled with need and want. He smelled of wood smoke and some sort of spice and his kiss tasted like vanilla and mint. I wrapped my arms around his back. He wasn't wearing a shirt and his skin was warm and smooth. He melted under my touch and groaned slightly. I felt a tingling sensation deep in my core and had trouble keeping my composure as his hands slid around to my front and gently stroked at my breasts. He moved his mouth down to my neck, which he sucked on gently at first. The sensation of him tasting my flesh caused me to groan deeply and knead the skin of his back, which in turn caused him to suck harder. He used his fingers to twist gently at my left nipple, leaving me quivering and I cried out softly.

  His mouth left my neck and he kissed my cheek sweetly, very near to my ear. “Does it feel good?” he asked, whispering sweetly.

  “Yes,” I admitted.

  “Good,” he answered as his hands left the confines of my shirt. “But we need to stop now.”

  “No,” I begged. “Please?”

  He chuckled, almost evilly. “Hattie, seriously, I want to keep going but it’s not the right time.”

  I heard an unusual noise of frustration escape my own lips and he chuckled again.

  He followed my own protest with a sigh of his own. “You’ll wake up hating me if we do this now. We barely know each other.”

  I didn’t say anything. My feelings were a little hurt and I was being left very unsatisfied. To top it off, I still felt like I should have died in the explosion. To my horror, tears began welling in my eyes. I looked down at my lap, hoping he wouldn’t notice.

  “Oh, God, no. Don’t cry,” he said in dismay.

  I tried as hard as I could, but my chin began quivering and I sniffled. I felt his hand under my chin and looked up as he gently lifted my face toward his. I could feel tears roll down my cheeks, despite trying so hard to keep them at bay. He took his thumbs and gracefully wiped the moisture from my face, and followed with tiny little kisses down each cheek.

  “Can you at least hold me for a while?” I choked out in a pathetically broken voice. I had always had a difficult time speaking when crying.

  He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. I leaned into the crook of his neck and inhaled. His scent was almost as calming as his touch.

  “You should try to get some more sleep,” he said next to my head.

  “Stay with me?”

  I f
elt like a child asking, but being alone was the last thing I wanted. He let go of me and looked me in the eyes.

  “I won’t go anywhere, I promise.”

  I nodded.

  “Climb under the covers. It’s cold in here.”

  I did as instructed, settling back down in the bed. I felt Saul climb under the covers behind me. He wrapped an arm across me and held me close.

  “Sleep,” he whispered.

  I closed my eyes and tried to tune out all of the thoughts swimming through my head. Saul’s hand slowly moved down and settled just below my belly button. It caused me to squirm slightly, which in turn caused Saul to reposition himself a bit. I wriggled under his arm until I was able to turn and face him. The fire in the other room was dying down, and the light in the bedroom was nearly gone.

  “Hey,” he whispered.

  “Hey.”

  I reached one of my hands out from under the covers and placed it on his bare chest.

  “Saul?”

  “Hmm?”

  “I feel like I’ve known you for a long time.”

  He took my hand in his and wove his fingers through my own.

  “I know what you mean,” he said. “And I think I’d like to know you for a long time.”

  I snuggled up close to him and fell asleep in his arms.

  CHAPTER 8 ~ SUNSHINE AND HONEY

  I woke not knowing where I was. Blinking my eyes, I sat up in bed and saw that the room I was in was full of dark shades of brown and orange and red. Saul. I was in Saul’s room. Remembering falling asleep with him, my heart started racing when I realized I was now alone. I gripped the sheets with my hands and took a deep breath, willing myself to calm down. It wasn’t like me to feel anxious like this. I swung my legs out from under the covers and slid out of the bed until my feet touched the floor. There was a thick wool area rug covering a portion of the wood floor. I walked toward the bathroom. Once my feet left the rug, the chill of the room hit me head-on. I rushed the rest of the distance to the bathroom door. Once inside, I stared at myself in the mirror. My hair was a mess and I looked scrawny in Saul’s large t-shirt. It had a chipmunk on the front, which made me giggle to myself. I hurried and used the toilet, and then returned to the mirror. I felt guilty doing so, but decided to search the two drawers in the cabinet in front of me. I had hoped for a brush, but had to settle for a comb. I tamed my curls the best I could and then braided my hair over my left shoulder. I didn’t have a hair tie or rubber band, so knew it wouldn’t last long. I found a tube of Crest and put some on my index finger, which I used to scrub my teeth.

  Walking back into the bedroom, I looked around for the sweatpant shorts Saul had loaned me. Coming up empty, I decided to be brave and left the bedroom wearing just the t-shirt and my panties. The rest of the cabin smelled of bacon and cinnamon rolls. My stomach began growling. Saul was standing in the kitchen, wearing the missing sweats he had let me borrow but still bare-chested. He looked up, smiling, as I approached. He was even hotter than I had recalled and I knew I was blushing.

  “Morning,” he said with a quick wink.

  “Morning.” I stood in the middle of the room, just watching him. I wasn't sure really how to act, and felt a bit vulnerable wearing what I was.

  “Hungry?” he asked.

  I nodded.

  “Bacon will be ready in about two minutes. Cinnamon rolls are still on the table. OJ’s fresh.” He chuckled. “Ok, well, the OJ is from a bottle.”

  I walked slowly toward him, holding the hem of the t-shirt down a bit. He watched me like he wanted to eat me for dessert, making my face feel even warmer. He began piling the sizzling bacon onto a plate that was lined with a paper towel, and carried it to a small dinette set where a plate of scrambled eggs and cinnamon rolls waited.

  “Sorry the chairs don’t match,” he said with a smile. “Not much in this place does.”

  “That’s okay.”

  I sat in one of the two chairs and stretched the t-shirt over my knees.

  He placed two strips of bacon onto my plate and followed it with a scoop of eggs and a cinnamon roll. I wasn't used to being waited upon.

  “Thanks, Saul. This was really nice of you.”

  He sat across from me and piled food onto his own plate. I took a bite of eggs first.

  “Like them?” he asked, scooping a bite of eggs into his own mouth.

  “Mmm hmm.”

  “I use onion salt. Just a pinch. I’m famous for my eggs.”

  “They’re good.”

  “Just good?” he faked surprise.

  “Well…” I began. “I’ve had better.”

  I took another bite and watched his face.

  “Better than these? When?”

  “Last night.”

  I smiled when he looked confused.

  “You, Saul. You tasted better.” I rolled my eyes at him teasingly.

  Slowly, a grin spread across his face.

  “You ready to go fishing today?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, but I need some clothes.”

  “Nah, you look great just like you are. Especially blushing like that.”

  “Sorry about that. I’ve always gotten embarrassed easily. My face will turn fifty shades of red if I’m not careful.”

  “Do you want to call home? Let them know you’re okay?”

  I shook my head. “Maybe later.”

  “They’re probably worried.”

  “I know. After breakfast?”

  He sighed gently. “Okay.”

  We continued to eat in relative silence, occasionally sneaking a quick glance at one another. I wasn't able to finish all of my food, but Saul was glad to help. He ate more than anyone I had ever seen before. He caught me smiling at him and winked at me.

  ***

  We spent the rest of the morning sitting on the couch in his living room, watching the fire. It was the most relaxed I’d been in days. We talked about silly things: what we had wanted to be when we grew up, our favorite bands and colors and foods. He was easy to be around, despite my inexperience with men.

  “Are we really going fishing today?” I asked.

  “If you want to, sure. I have a little rowboat and two poles. All we’d need is bait. Oh, and fishing licenses. We’ll grab you one in town. Some clothes too. Actually, it’s close to noon. We should get going.”

  I nodded. My legs were draped over his lap and I lifted them, swinging them over the edge of the couch. He stood and offered me a free hand, which I took all too willingly. His hand was big, and his fingers long. My own small hand became lost in his grip.

  “You have tiny hands,” he said.

  I smiled. “I was just thinking about how big yours are.”

  “They can do magical things,” he said with a smug grin. “Maybe I’ll show you later.”

  I wasn't quite sure how to take what he had said, and my face must have showed my surprise.

  “Get your mind out of the gutter. I was just talking about a back rub.”

  He stood facing me, now holding both of my hands in his. I didn’t really see him step closer, but all of a sudden he was so near that I could feel his body heat. He leaned down and kissed the middle of my forehead.

  “You need to call home,” he whispered.

  I groaned. It hadn’t been quite what I had wanted to hear. “Yeah. I guess so.”

  Saul reached behind himself and took his cell phone off of the coffee table. “I can wait in the other room if you want?” he offered as he handed me the smartphone.

  I shook my head ‘no’ and began to dial. I knew no one would be home, but dialed our landline first anyway. To my surprise, the line was answered on the first ring.

  “Hello?” It was Justine’s voice.

  “Justine? It’s Hattie.”

  “Hattie! My God! We’re all so worried. Where are you?”

  “I’m ok. I’m with a friend.”

  I could hear Joe yelling in the background, demanding the phone.

  I sat on the couch, wai
ting for Justine to say something. Anything.

  “Justine?”

  “Hat. It’s Joe. Where they hell are you? I’ll come get you.”

  “Joe. Calm down. I’m fine.”

  I was met with silence, other than people in the background asking what was going on and if I was okay. I could picture Joe with his nervous habit of grabbing his hair in his fist while he thought.

  “Hattie. You’ve had us all scared shitless. Tell me where you are and I’ll come get you.”

  I could tell by his tone that he was pissed.

  “Joe, I’m fine. My friend will bring me home later.”

  “You mean that fucking stranger Everett saw you leave the club with?”

  “He’s not a stranger. And stop talking to me like that.”

  “C’mon, this is ridiculous. You’ve already ruined our wedding night, Hattie. We’re all worried about you.”

  “Well, I guess you can thank Everett for that.”

  I was getting angry and trying to not hang up on him.

  Saul held his hand out for the phone, obviously picking up on my frustration. “I’ll talk to him,” he said.

  “Hang on, Joe.”

  I handed the phone to Saul and leaned back against the couch cushions

  “Saul here. Yes, she’s fine. She’s not quite ready yet but I’ll have her home tonight.”

  I took a deep breath. I had no idea everyone had been sitting around worried about me.

  “Uh huh,” continued Saul. “She’s fine, I promise. And I’ll keep her that way.”

  Saul took the phone from his ear and handed it back to me.

  “Someone named Miranda wants to talk to you.”

  I sighed, and then held the phone to my ear. “Hi Miranda.”

  “Hattie, can you please just let one of us come get you?”

  “I’ll be home later.”

  Her pause worried me. “You just stay safe, you hear?”

  “I am. I will. Bye.”

  I hit the end button on the phone and handed it back to Saul.

  “They sound pretty pissed,” he said.

  “Yeah. I guess so.”

  “You sure you don’t want me to take you back? You can show them you’re okay and I can pick you up later. We could fish another day, and you could let me take you out to dinner tonight instead?”