by Alex Marcoux
“And you know the litigation is not going to stop in Denver District Court, this is going all the way to the United States Supreme Court. And do you know why? Because each side has too much to lose.”
Anastasia was starting to relax. She appeared poised and walked tall across the vast stage, attempting to reach each person in the large crowd.
“Colorado, Amendment 2 is not just about gay rights. All of our constitutional rights are being threatened. If constitutional rights of one group of people can be threatened and taken away, what will stop groups like Colorado for Family Values from threatening the rights of other people? You’ve got to ask yourself, what is their real agenda? People of Colorado-ask them. Ask Colorado for Family Values. If gays and lesbians are stripped of their constitutional rights, who’s next?
“Or maybe they’ve already told us…Traditional Family Values. They claim homosexuals don’t deserve equal rights because they don’t fit traditional family values. What the hell do they mean by traditional family values? Do they exist?
“According to their definition a traditional family is-a wage-earning husband, a subservient housewife, two kids, a dog and a house. Traditional means one career, one marriage, one house and two kids. I certainly can see how gays and lesbians don’t fit the mold of traditional. But what about the rest of you out there? How many of you really have traditional families?
“What about you unmarried couples?
“How about you working women?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Single parents?
“How about families without children? Where do you fit in?
“How about those on your second marriages?
“Interracial marriages? I can go on forever.
“My point is this-our families today are innovative, maybe 20% of families fit their definition and are traditional. Maybe 20%.”
Anastasia walked confidently across the stage as she addressed the audience.
“What do Christian fundamentalist leaders mean when they promote traditional values? What are they promoting? I’ll tell you. They’re promoting a lifestyle that hasn’t existed since the post World War II era. A period of white male supremacy, conservative politics, heterosexual relationships, and Christianity. Oh happy days. That’s what they’re talking about. The fifties.
“I don’t know about you, but as a black woman, I certainly don’t want to go back there. How many of you want to go back there?
“So my point is-if constitutional rights are stripped from one group of people, what’s to stop them from attacking another group?
“Is it possible that the Colorado for Family Values campaign against gays is really a crusade against modern America? Ask them. The question really is-if they prevail here, with gays and lesbians, who’s next on the list?
“Christian fundamentalist. That’s what they call themselves. They preach what’s printed in the Bible, verbatim, word for word, with no interpretation for today’s society. Women, do you know where that puts you? Ask them. They hide behind their Bibles and printed propaganda of lies and distorted facts about gays. And you take it as truth. Shame on you.”
As Anastasia paused between thoughts, mixed signals of cheers and hisses could be heard from the audience. She remained focused, determined to get her messages across.
“Is it just me, or do these Christian fundamentalists sound like neo-Nazi groups or the Ku Klux Klan? Do you know what the differences are? There are differences, but they are more alike than different. They’re all racist, sexist, homophobic and anti-Semitic. They all threaten our democracy. They all impose their narrow white supremacist agenda on society. But most importantly, Colorado, they all gain power by arousing people’s emotions and prejudices. That’s how they win. That’s how Amendment 2 passed.
“I know I’ve gotten off the subject, and for that I apologize. These are the facts about Amendment 2, it’s wrong. The effect of the amendment would legalize discrimination because of a person’s sexual orientation. The so-called special rights, which Colorado for Family Values claims homosexuals have been earning, aren’t special; they’re equal rights.
“By stripping gays and lesbians of their constitutional rights of equal protection under the Fourteenth Amendment, you undermine all of our constitutional rights. You are setting precedents, a prelude of what could come for others.
“When Colorado for Family Values approaches you for your support, and they will, say no. But more importantly ask questions. Demand answers.”
As she finished her speech Anastasia looked to the audience with uncertainty. Although part of the audience heckled her and gave obscene gestures, the majority whistled and cheered.
Anastasia’s real indicator was always Sidney. She always told her the truth no matter how painful it could be. As she walked off the stage she thought to herself, I changed Sidney’s speech. She worked so hard on it. I hope I got most of her points across. When she saw Sidney’s face lit up she knew she must have done well.
Sidney hugged her. “Congratulations.”
“Did I do okay? I know I didn’t follow your speech.”
“It was better than my speech. You spoke from your heart.”
In the concert that followed, Anastasia’s performance was electrifying.
Anastasia, Sidney and Natalie planned to spend some time in the mountains before Anastasia and Natalie journeyed on to San Diego for another performance. Sidney rented a car and the three women headed west. They arrived in Vail early that Saturday afternoon and settled into Sidney’s mountain home.
After exploring the house, Anastasia said, “This is a wonderful place. How often do you come out here?”
“Usually just Christmas.” Sidney was quick to change the subject. “Your meeting with Brett Pillar is scheduled for the second week in September. Filming starts shortly after. Ready?”
“I believe so.”
The three women spent the rest of the afternoon walking the town of Vail, then enjoyed dinner at Uptown Grill. When they returned to the house, it was close to ten o’clock.
“I’m beat,” Sidney said as they arrived. “I’m going to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Natalie and Anastasia migrated to the great room that opened to a deck. The mountain night air was cool, but refreshing. The women sat on the patio where they could view the mountains of Vail in the brilliant moonlight.
Anastasia had been humming a tune most of the evening. She would frequently jot down notes on a pad.
“What are you doing?” Natalie asked.
“Just working on a new song. I wish there was a piano around.”
“Would a guitar be helpful?”
“Yeah, that would work.”
Natalie went into the house and returned with a Gibson.
“I didn’t realize Sid played.”
“I never said she played. I’m going to have a glass of wine, would you like one?”
“Sure.”
“Chardonnay or cabernet?”
“Whatever you’re drinking.” Anastasia tuned the guitar and by the time Natalie returned, she was working on her new tune.
“So what are you working on?” Natalie asked.
Anastasia took a sip of the cabernet. “It’s a love song. I’m calling it “My Untouchable.”
“Will you play it?”
“Sure. But it’s far from being finished.” Anastasia picked up the guitar and sang a few verses of the unfinished melody. The song was about falling in love with an untouchable, and choosing to love the person from afar.
But, I need you. Can’t you see it?
I want you. Can’t you feel it?
From afar, like an angel
I’ll be there to hold you
when you’re hurting,
or just need a friend.
I see you, but I know I can’t have you.
I’ve loved you
but I know I can’t love you.
You’re my untouchable.
From afar.
“Have you fallen in love?” Natalie smiled.
“No,” Anastasia seemed annoyed. “The songs I write aren’t always about things that I experience.”
“I know, just the good ones.”
“The song should have good market appeal. People fall in love with untouchables all the time.”
“Untouchables?”
“Yeah, untouchables. A secretary who falls in love with her boss, a parishioner who falls in love with her priest, and a gay man falls in love with his heterosexual male friend. That’s what my first girlfriend called me when she thought I was straight, an untouchable.” Anastasia was on a roll. “So, has it ever happened to you?”
Natalie hesitated. “Yes, it has.”
“See? It happens all the time. So what’s your story?”
“It’s personal.”
“Oh relax. Did you ever tell her? It was a her, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, it was a her. And no, I never told her,” confided Natalie.
“Did you ever wish you had?”
“Sometimes-“
“So why don’t you tell her?” Anastasia interrupted.
“You didn’t let me finish. Sometimes I’ve wished that I told her. But most of the time, I’m glad I never said a word. Besides, it’s too late anyway.”
“If you could do it all again, would you do it differently?”
“Maybe,” Natalie admitted.
Chapter 22
Brett Pillar’s acting career was at an all-time high. He was the hottest man in Hollywood; the highest paid and most in demand. At 35 years of age, he knew he had it made; he had looks, money, intelligence and health. Frequently, he lived up to his reputation of being a ladies’ man. He would date only the best-looking women and dump them when the next woman came along. At the present, he was seeing the hottest model in the country and had held onto her longer than her predecessors. They were going on five months.
Although Brett lived in Malibu, he frequently visited New York City for business and pleasure. He was hoping he could mix a little pleasure with business on this trip to the Big Apple. Timothy Clausin had asked him to meet Anastasia, his co-star, before filming started on his next movie. Brett had scheduled a lunch with her, and was looking forward to meeting her.
The mystery that surrounded Anastasia excited him. He knew she was a beautiful woman who was at the peak of her career. But he also knew that Anastasia almost lost everything the previous year because of rumors that she was gay.
The two agreed to meet at the Russian Tea Room and walked into the restaurant at the same time. Anastasia instantly recognized him, but he did not recognize her under the sunglasses and casual attire.
“Hi Brett. I’m Anastasia,” she said as she offered her hand. “It’s a pleasure finally meeting you.”
Brett was taken off guard when he met her; his initial impression was unfavorable. She was casually dressed, wearing jeans and a simple cotton shirt. She wore little makeup and jewelry. Her hair was loose and natural. When they were seated at a table, Anastasia took off her sunglasses, and he finally recognized her.
Brett had surrounded himself with women in elegant clothing, extravagant jewelry, and twenty-four-hour makeovers. I can’t believe she didn’t dress up to meet me, he thought to himself. Then she smiled, and he melted. Her eyes were radiant. My God. She is gorgeous; she doesn’t need any of the frills.
Their meeting was pleasant. Both said they were looking forward to working together. Brett found Anastasia totally captivating, and every once in a while he had to remind himself, Relax, she’s a lesbian. Remember?…What a waste.
Sidney saw Anastasia a week after the meeting with Brett. The two were enjoying their lunch at a restaurant close to Sidney’s office.
“How was your lunch with Brett?” Sidney asked.
“Fine.”
“He is an attractive man, isn’t he?”
Anastasia was surprised at Sidney’s directness, but admitted, “He is an attractive man.”
“From what I understand, he was very impressed with you. He’s looking forward to spending more time with you.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Very impressed.”
“What are you trying to tell me, Sid?” Anastasia knew the conversation was going someplace.
“While you guys are working together, it wouldn’t hurt to be seen socializing with him,” Sidney commented.
“You mean date him?”
“No. I would never tell you who you should date. I’m just saying the two of you are going to be spending a lot of time with each other. It could benefit both of you to be seen together. You can give the appearance of dating, without actually dating.”
*
The filming got off to a good start. Anastasia showed a lot of promise, considering this was her first serious acting job. Brett and Anastasia took a liking to each other, so Anastasia was not surprised when he asked her to lunch one day.
“I need to ask you a personal question,” Brett said.
“Okay.”
“Are you a lesbian?”
“You don’t beat around the bush, do you?”
“Not usually,” he admitted.
“Between you and me? Yes, I am.”
“You just haven’t been with the right man.”
Typical wounded male ego response, Anastasia thought. “There’s no right man for me. But I was kind of hoping we could be friends.”
“We are. I’m just a little disappointed.”
“Don’t you have a girlfriend? Cheri, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, you interested in her?” He laughed.
“No,” she laughed also. “I just want both of us to be honest with each other.” Anastasia paused, then continued, “Actually, my manager suggested we might want to spend time together, socially.”
“I like your manager’s idea, but why?” Brett asked.
“Publicity. You see-if we gave the press the appearance that the two of us are dating…well, let’s just say it wouldn’t hurt my reputation. You never know, it might be good PR for you too.”
Brett studied Anastasia and was silent for a long time. “Don’t you feel like a traitor? I mean…being gay and not admitting it?”
“Every day of my life.”
“Why do you do it?”
“I almost lost everything because the public wasn’t ready for me to be gay. I was given a second chance and I took it. I’m not ready to give it all up yet.”
Brett asked with a boyish grin, “So, you want to go on a date? I better have a talk with Cheri.”
*
Over the next couple months Brett and Anastasia were seen at restaurants and nightclubs together. They always put on a good show for the press.
The filming broke in mid-December for the Christmas holiday. Brett returned to Malibu for the holidays and Anastasia faced her first Christmas alone, without family or a lover.
Chapter 23
Sidney was at her office, trying to tie up some loose ends before the holiday break when Anastasia entered unannounced.
“So what are you and JP doing for Christmas?” Anastasia asked.
“JP spends Christmas with his father. I believe they’re going to St. Moritz this year.”
“What about you?”
“I go to Vail every Christmas.”
“Is Scott going? Or are you going by yourself?”
“I’m going by myself.”
“It must be nice there this time of the year. Are you going to ski?”
“Yeah, I usually do some skiing.”
“Skiing sounds great. I can’t remember the last time I went skiing.” Then she hinted, “I don’t have any plans for Christmas this year.”
Sidney remained silent, hoping Anastasia would take the hint.
“What do I have to do? Invite myself?”
“I usu
ally go by myself, and enjoy the quiet.” She’s not going to let this rest. “Anastasia, you wouldn’t enjoy it; I just play lazy most of the time.”
“I could use some rest.”
“I leave Monday, United Airlines around ten o’clock out of Newark, into Denver.” J can’t believe I just invited her. But she probably won’t be able to get tickets this late. “Good luck getting tickets.”
“I’m surprised you’re leaving Monday, and not Saturday.”
“Scott and I have plans for the weekend.”
“Oh. When are we returning?” she asked.
“The following Monday.”
*
The plane landed at 12:20 P.M. Mountain Time, that Monday afternoon. Sidney rented a four-wheel-drive vehicle and they headed west. They were making good time until they reached the Continental Divide. Snow flurries started as they approached the Eisenhower Tunnel, and when they emerged on the other side of the mountain, there was a whiteout. Their travel into Dillon was slow, and when they pulled over to use the rest rooms they learned that Vail Pass was closed because of an avalanche. They found a motel room and spent the night in Dillon.
They were back on the road by ten o’clock the following morning. As the car got back on the interstate Sidney asked Anastasia, “Did Brett go back to Malibu for the holidays?”
“Yeah, he was looking forward to seeing Cheri.”
“The press has been having a field day with the two of you.”
“Aren’t you proud of me?” Anastasia laughed.
“The two of you have an understanding?”
“Yeah, pretty much. We both agree it’s good PR. I think the only one who’s unhappy about it is Cheri. Brett says she’s okay. She came out for a couple of weekends last month. We met once, and boy did I get a cold shoulder.”
“Do you like him?” Sidney pried.
“Of course I like him … or do you mean, do I like him?” Anastasia asked.
Sidney just laughed.