by Riley Hart
“I’m seeing someone. He’s…well, the fucking opposite of me in nearly every way. I’m not sure he’s all that happy to be dating me but—”
“Fuck him then,” Christian cut him off.
“No. Not like that.” How did he explain it to Christian without telling Miles’s story? It wasn’t Quinn’s to share. “He wants me. Don’t kid yourself. I haven’t changed that much since you left. I wouldn’t be chasing someone who doesn’t want me. He’s just stubborn and surly and bossy as hell. Oh, and pretty.”
“You’re fucked.”
“Right?” Quinn said. Christian knew his taste well. “I asked him to stay,” Quinn admitted, and he knew Christian would know exactly what he was talking about.
“And you slept well?”
“All fucking night.” It used to be Christian who did that for him when he struggled. He could squeeze out an hour or two around people he didn’t trust, but it was restless. His body was tense, always ready to defend himself if he had to.
“Are you in love with him?” Christian asked, worry in his voice.
“I like him. I’m not looking to fall in love with him, and he sure as shit isn’t looking to fall in love with me. He’s got walls higher than a maximum-security prison, but I like him. And I got him to want to date me, which was a fucking struggle, let me tell you.” They laughed and then the line went quiet. He wasn’t sure why he’d called Christian to talk to him about Miles. Maybe because like Miles, Quinn only had a small number of people in his life who he truly trusted. Quinn was better at playing it off than Miles, probably because Miles didn’t fucking try, but when it came to something important to him, there was only one person he wanted to talk to…and the truth was, Miles was important to him. That truth was hammered home even more when he’d wanted to go home with Miles last night but forced himself not to, because he wanted to give Miles that time to change his mind. The time to make sure he was cool with this because Quinn was obviously fucking thrilled about it. This phone call proved it.
“That’s great, Quinn. I can’t wait to meet him.”
“Don’t go that fast. I don’t even know when you’ll be out again and hell, this might be over in a week. Who knows?” But he hoped it wasn’t.
“I’m not sure I like this guy.”
“Aw, are you ready to defend my honor?” Quinn teased.
“Yes, yes I am.”
Quinn chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Thanks, tough guy, but I’m all good. We’re taking it slow. I just wanted to brag because you totally bragged when you got with dirt bike boy.”
“No, I didn’t!” Christian replied. He followed with, “Hey…be careful, okay? Make sure he’s treating you the way you deserve.”
Oh God. Quinn rolled his eyes. “Wow. That sounded very older brother of you. I’m a big boy. I’m not going to let someone fuck around with me.”
“Good. I really don’t want to have to kick someone’s ass. I’m too pretty to fight.”
They went back and forth with that for a while before talking games. How fucking lucky was he to get to talk about games and it was work?
It wasn’t long before they said their goodbyes and Quinn pulled his cell away from his ear to see a text from Miles.
I jerked off twice last night because of you.
He replied back, Next time go for three.
Fuck you.
You want to. Quinn wanted it too.
Obviously.
Soon, Counselor. I promise you, soon. He set his phone down. His chest felt lighter than it had before. He’d needed to hear from Miles. He’d needed to hear from him and hadn’t realized it until he’d gotten the message from him.
Maybe he was more afraid than he wanted to admit that this would be over before it really began.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
It had been the week from hell.
Miles spent nearly every day in court. He usually thrived on being in the courtroom. He loved the order of it, loved the fact that he was fucking good at what he did. In a lot of ways, this week had been no different and it still felt good as hell to fight and win. He was really tired too. He hadn’t been able to see Quinn all week and he really fucking owed Miles for ditching him the other night.
Or that was the excuse he was giving himself, at least.
Maybe he just wanted to see Quinn. To laugh with him. And yes, also to fuck him. Quinn was a whole hell of a lot more fun than being in court, which wasn’t something he admitted lightly, even if only to himself.
Now it was Friday night, and even though Miles didn’t want to leave his apartment, he knew he would. Friday night happened no matter what.
He had just gotten out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist when his cell rang. It was plugged in beside his bed, so Miles walked over. He picked it up and grinned when he saw Quinn’s name on the screen. Fucking grinned over a name on a screen. He was ridiculous.
“How’s it going, Counselor?” Quinn asked when he answered.
“Exhausted.” He fell back against his pillows. Jesus, it had been a long week. Why did he have to go out again?
“I can come over, bring you something to eat. You mentioned something about feasting on me the other night. I think we can make that happen. It’ll be like the first weekend where we just fuck and chill all weekend. I’m beat too.”
“Are you sleeping okay?” Miles asked, a tight fist around his chest. He’d feel like shit if Quinn had been struggling.
“Yeah,” Quinn told him. “I’m fine, Daddy.”
“Mmm. I like you calling me that.”
“You would.”
“You don’t?”
“Could be fun,” Quinn replied.
Yeah, it could be. Everything was fun with Quinn. Only it wouldn’t happen. Not tonight, at least. “It’s Friday. I’ll be at Wild Side.” Then as though he had to make an excuse for himself, he added, “I don’t cancel on them. Ever.” He couldn’t. Not when it came to Oliver, Chance, and Matt. Maybe it didn’t make sense to most people, but to Miles it did. They’d made a commitment to each other years ago. Friday night was their thing, and Miles didn’t walk away from commitments. He didn’t abandon people he cared about.
“Um…I’m pretty sure I didn’t ask you to.” There was a sharp edge to Quinn’s voice that he hadn’t had a moment before. It made Miles’s defenses shoot up. What the fuck was his problem? Was he angry that Miles was keeping his commitment to his friends? That shit wouldn’t fly with him.
“We don’t bring other people either.” Which was a shitty thing for him to say. Had he ever brought someone he was sleeping with to Wild Side? No. None of them had, but he also knew his friends wouldn’t care. They’d probably fucking love it if Miles brought Quinn tonight.
“I’m pretty sure I didn’t ask you if I could go either. Fuck you, Miles. I’m not some needy, weak man who needs you to invite me out or cancel on your friends for me. I just wasn’t thinking about what day it was and I thought we could get together. If you don’t want to, just say so. Don’t start slinging excuses and accusations at me.”
Quinn’s words felt very much like an accusation, as well. “I’m not making excuses for anything. I just didn’t know we had to hang out every weekend. Is that an obligation now? We decide to see where this goes, and now I have to defend going out with my friends?”
“What the fuck universe are you in right now? When did I ask you to defend going out with your friends? I asked if we could see each other. All you had to say was, I have plans and I would have teased you about…I don’t know, something fucking stupid, but instead you’re turning this into a big-ass deal when it doesn’t need to be one. But as long as we’re doing that, it’s my turn. I’m not asking to meet your family. I’m not asking for a commitment. If this doesn’t work, it doesn’t work, but I will say, I sure as shit won’t be a secret. You want to keep this going, I’m not going to be the guy you fuck every night but Friday because your goddamned friends can’t know about me.”
Miles’s w
hole body went rigid. His muscles hurt they were so fucking tight. This was why he didn’t do this shit. Why he didn’t get close to anyone except Oliver, Chance, and Matt. “Don’t bring them into it.”
Quinn sighed. “Again, fuck you, Miles. I didn’t bring them into anything. You’re using them as a shield. Grow up. You want something, go for it. You don’t? Sure as shit don’t hide behind your friends. You made this a much bigger deal than it had to be.”
Quinn hung up and it took everything inside of Miles not to throw his cell across the room. Instead, he squeezed it until his hand hurt. “Fuck!” he yelled in frustration. What in the hell just happened? He never should have played around with Quinn. At least he knew what to expect from his friends and they knew what to expect from him.
At least they never let him down.
*
“Oh shit. Who pissed you off?” Chance asked the second Miles fell into his seat at Wild Side. Lights flashed around them. Music blasted. People kissed and danced and Miles wanted nothing except to walk out.
“No one. I’m fine.” He looked over and saw Austin, Dare’s boyfriend, sitting at the table and wanted to ask what in the fuck he was doing here. Miles had no problem with the guy, but now he was joining them at their table or what?
“Austin and I are working on a fundraiser for the LGBT center,” Oliver told him as though he could read Miles’s mind. Fundraising was something he’d become passionate about lately. He started when Matt went back to New York and Ollie was trying to get over him. It was something Oliver did for himself and Miles was damn proud of that, but right now, it just annoyed him because it put Austin at their table and made a quiet voice whisper in the back of his head…if Austin was sitting with them, so could Quinn…
Fuck that voice.
“I’ll give you more information soon, but be prepared because I want you to be a sponsor. You—”
“It’s fine. I’ll do it. Whatever you need.” Miles waved a hand at him. It was the last thing he wanted to discuss right now, and Oliver knew Miles would always help. “Why didn’t you guys get me a drink? I’m fucking thirsty. Everyone else has a goddamned drink.”
All eyes at the table were on him. He was being a dick and he knew it, but Quinn had been too. What in the fuck was his problem? Miles spent Friday night with his friends. The fucking end.
“Oh no. You’re fine. ‘No one pissed you off,’ says Miles as he spits fire at everyone at the table,” Chance said. “Anyone have some water to put out these flames?”
“Chance,” Ollie warned and Miles rolled his eyes. They all fit into their roles but tonight, he was having none of it.
Miles looked at Oliver. “I don’t need you to take care of Chance for me. I know how to deal with my own friend.”
“What the fuck is your problem?” Oliver asked. “You’re being a prick.” He absolutely was, only he couldn’t seem to stop himself.
“Can we get back to the part where people are trying to take care of Chance? I don’t need any of you to take care of me,” Chance added. “I’ll say what I want, when I want.” As much as they all loved each other, they sometimes fought like brothers. In a lot of ways, they were brothers. All except for Ollie and Matt, of course.
“Okay, I think we all need to calm down.” Matt wrapped a protective arm around Oliver.
Was he fucking kidding? “We fight sometimes, Matty. It’s what we do. I get that you ran away for ten years but—”
“Stop. Right there,” Oliver cut Miles off. “You keep going and you’re going to piss me off and you won’t like it, Miles. Don’t take whatever is wrong with you out on Matt.”
“Oh, of course you’re going to take his side.” Like Ollie had ever taken anyone’s side over Matt’s.
“I’m going to go get you a drink.” Austin stood and walked away.
Miles’s heart was beating too fast, like it would burst through the walls of his chest. Why the hell was he letting this bother him so much? He’d gotten in a fight with Quinn. Big fucking deal. He hardly knew the guy. Thank God their…continued fucking or whatever it was, ended before it really started. Miles didn’t have time for this kind of shit.
“Take Matt’s side? Can you stop sounding like you’re twelve now? Jesus, you’re being a dick, Miles, and you know how much I like dick,” Chance told him. “But right now, I don’t like you. What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Fuck,” he gritted out and then dropped his head against the seat. His hands were shaking but he didn’t know why. Why was he so angry? Why did he care so much that he and Quinn were done? It didn’t make sense. He shouldn’t be taking shit out on his friends when they were the most important people in his world.
“I think we need to have a family meeting,” Chance said, but Miles didn’t reply.
“What’s wrong, Miles? You’re obviously upset. Want to go to Chance’s?” His apartment was the closest to Wild Side. Miles had dragged Ollie there himself to talk to him about Matt a few months before and, now Oliver attempted to do the same thing to Miles.
“No. I’m fine,” he answered. He had no reason not to be fine. Why didn’t he feel fine?
“If one of us would have walked in here like that, you would have forced our ass to tell you what was wrong. Why do rules apply to us and not you?” Oliver asked. Leave it to him to be logical.
“Because I’m an asshole and you aren’t.” And he’d been such a fucking prick to Quinn tonight, hadn’t he? He’d treated Quinn badly and now he was doing the same thing to them.
“No,” Oliver said. “You’re a caretaker just like I am. You’ve always given me shit for that and you don’t realize you’re the same way. You want to protect people you love just like me, but the difference is, you don’t admit it and you don’t accept it in return. You’d do anything for the three of us but won’t let us do anything for you.”
“He’s right,” Matt said from beside him. He was right. They all were. Miles knew that.
He looked up when Austin set a drink down in front of him. He smiled at Miles, kindness in his eyes, and Miles tried to apologize with his. Austin didn’t deserve to get caught up in Miles’s shit.
Austin nodded, understanding in his kind eyes, and disappeared, leaving them to their table, the business of the bar somehow muted around them.
Miles exhaled a heavy breath. He was going to do this. He was really going to attempt to explain some of it. “I got in an argument with someone, and I’m upset. I’m sorry I took it out on you guys.”
“Your parents?” Oliver asked, and he shook his head.
“Who?” Chance questioned. “You don’t socialize with anyone else enough to argue with them.”
“Chance!” Oliver warned again.
“What? It’s true,” he countered, and damned if Miles didn’t think again about how much Chance and Quinn would get along.
“Just someone,” Miles answered. “I don’t want to talk about it because I haven’t figured it out myself yet.” The answer should be simple. It was because he liked Quinn. He knew that. He’d admitted that to Quinn and to himself. He just didn’t think he realized how much until they’d argued. Until he was faced with the truth that this might already be over. “I won’t take it out on you guys again, though.”
That was the best he could give. They obviously knew it because the three men around him nodded.
They had a few drinks after that. There was talking and laughing and joking but the evening held a somber tone to it as well. Miles couldn’t make himself enjoy their night the way he always did. The longer they stayed, the worse he felt. The more he thought, the less he liked the train of his thoughts.
It was a few hours later when they stood on Robertson Boulevard saying their goodbyes. Just as Miles was about to walk away, Matt gently grabbed his wrist. Chance and Oliver were involved in a conversation of their own, so they didn’t hear when Matt lowered his voice and said, “I know we’ve never been the closest out of the four of us…but I’m here. If you ever want to talk, I’m
here.”
That had taken a lot for Matt to say. Miles knew it. “Thank you,” he replied. “I appreciate that.” And he really did.
Miles went home, sat on his balcony, and watched the city beneath him. He didn’t sleep all night.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Quinn’s eyes burned.
He’d spent the whole night on his computer, fucking around with a game. A plate with crusted food from his dinner last night sat on his desk. The coffee pot was empty, the last cup going cold by his keyboard.
When he leaned back in his chair, his neck ached. He attempted to rub out the stiffness while trying to ignore the fact that he’d sat in this fucking chair all night, not because he’d wanted to work so damn badly, but because he was upset about Miles.
About the argument, about the realization he’d gotten hurt. And why in the hell had he gotten so tangled up in the other man? It shouldn’t have mattered. It shouldn’t have affected any part of his body other than his dick, but it did, and he was pissed at Miles for fucking it up before they had the chance to really get started.
Well shit. Here he was obsessing about the very thing he told himself he wasn’t going to think about.
Quinn pushed out of the chair and made his way into the en suite. He got the shower going—hot as he could take it because there was nothing like a hot shower early in the morning to wake your ass up.
He relaxed under the fiery spray of water and let it try to seep in through his pores. He cleaned up, then washed his hair before turning the water off.
Quinn took care of his morning routine as though it was later than seven in the morning or he had somewhere he needed to be, likely because he didn’t know what else to do. He needed to keep himself busy somehow.
Fucking Miles. He was going to kick his ass. What did he have to be so goddamned scared about? Why couldn’t he just let Quinn in? Tell him he had plans last night but hey, maybe we can do something tomorrow. That’s all he’d had to say.
Quinn pulled a pair of white boxer briefs out of his drawer and pulled them on. He’d just finished slipping on a pair of worn blue jeans when a knock sounded from his living room. A tingle started at the base of his spine, and shot up his back, because somehow he knew, fucking knew who it was.