"I'm already upstairs, there are some of those dead people downstairs, so be careful."
I tell her I will and we hang up after I reassure her we will be there as fast as possible.
I inform the others that we are leaving and I fill in what's happened with Bianca. Jake comes back in and tells the girls that he wants them to guard the house. He shows them again how to load the guns and answers all the questions they have. I go and change into the familiar black military fatigues and my black boots-and then Jake and I walk around the perimeter of the property, checking the rest of the fence. Everything looks good and secure.
I give my boys big hugs and lots of kisses. My sister and sisters-in-law all agree to take care of them and baby Grace. I hug Mom and Ma and tell them I love them, then Jake and I walk out the door and climb into my truck. Rose has given us an extra key for the main gate so no one has to leave the house to let us out and lock back up.
Jake is driving and suggests I get some sleep. He tells me he will sleep on the way back and I can drive. I'm more than happy to agree to that deal as I grab my pillow and blanket from the back. Laying the pillow on the seat next to Jake's leg, I lie down, my feet resting against the door. I place my gun on the floorboard within easy reach in case I need to get to it quickly, and then I lie down on the seat, my head sinking into the pillow.
The heater blowing warm air over me, the warm blanket covering me, the thick but soft pillow under my head, and the sound of the tires moving on the pavement all combined-along with my exhaustion-knocks me out quick. I think I feel someone stroking my hair but I can't open my eyes, say anything, or move-and honestly, I just don't even care!
So quiet I think I must be imagining it, I hear a man's voice say, "I love you."
I have to have imagined that. And if so, I don't want to think about why I did.
Chapter Six
It seems like I have just fallen asleep when I'm suddenly shoved to the floor and a large, heavy body is thrown on top of me. I didn't have time to yell or fight back, and now I can't do either as I have a large hand covering my mouth and his weight is impossible to move. I look up into the darkness and can barely make out Jake's face. I mumble into his hand, trying to ask him what the hell he's doing, when he leans down toward me, his mouth at my ear.
So low I can barely hear him, he says, "Don't make any noise. There are a ton of them out there-we're screwed if they find us. Do you understand?"
I nod my head yes as much as I can, which isn't much.
And then I hear them-the moans, the groans, the shoes shuffling on the pavement. Jake removes his hand from my mouth and I kind of wish he would put it back. I'm terrified that I'm going make a noise and become zombie dinner.
You know how when you're trying to be sneaky or have to be really, really quiet you always have the urge to cough or sneeze? Well, I have to sneeze!
I look at Jake, and with panic on my face, whisper to him that I have to sneeze. He bugs his eyes out at me and then puts both his hands over my mouth. I sneeze-barely making a sound-but we lie still, our hearts pounding, waiting to see if we've been discovered. When no indication is given that I was heard, Jake removes his hands, and we both sigh in relief.
Lying underneath Jake like this and being able to see nothing but his eyes looking back at me so intently-and so close-his warm breath sweeping over my face, makes it so damn hard to think of anything else. Jake's face lowers slowly toward my own and the intent is very clear. When his lips softly touch mine, I close my eyes. I want his kiss. I want more than just his kiss!
The kiss deepens and my mind focuses on only one thing...Jake. He strokes the side of my face and slips his tongue between my lips, causing both of us to moan. I bring my arms up and wrap them around his neck, holding him close. Jake grinds his hips into mine as his hand moves under my shirt, finding exactly what he wanted to find-what I wanted him to find.
I practically rip his shirt off and he unsnaps my pants. Everything but Jake and this moment is forgotten. He brings his head down and I gasp when his warm mouth covers my breast.
We're both breathing hard from the intense heat of desperation that is overwhelming both of us. Our hands frantically move aside clothes in order to touch every bare inch of skin on each others bodies, both of us wanting more!
Jake grasps the top of my pants to pull them down and I lift my hips to help him―when suddenly a loud moan outside and a bang on the door of the truck destroys the moment in an instant. Jake quickly releases my pants and covers my body with his own, his hardness still very much evident. We wrap our arms tightly around each other, both of us terrified.
We don't move at all-Hell! We barely breathe!-as we wait in terror for the truck to be surrounded and attacked. But the undead move on and our bodies relax as the terror loosens its grip.
Jake covers my mouth with his own once more, but I pull away and turn my head to the side, the guilt overwhelming me. In my mind, I'm berating myself for-once again-being the world's biggest idiot.
I just lost Will and I'm acting like this? What the hell is wrong with me?
"Jake―"
"Shh. Please? Just don't say anything," he says.
I nod my head, but I don't look at him. I don't trust myself. Having his body still pressed against mine is unbearable, and if I look into his eyes, I know I won't be able to stop. One part of me is saying, "Will's gone. Just do it." but another part-a louder part-is saying, "Will's gone! Doesn't that even matter to you?" Of course it does! I love Will. Damn it! I do! But I'm only human and Jake is so damn tempting and just won't leave me alone. No. I'm not blaming this all on Jake, but if he would just stop, I wouldn't have to try so hard to resist him. Do you understand? Do you? Even a little? I'm not really such a horrible person...am I?
It seems to take hours before finally the noise of the undead ceases. Slowly, Jake eases his head up to look out the window. Raising up higher and moving his head back and forth, Jake finally starts to get off me. He helps me back in the seat and I look around. I see no zombies ahead of us, but when I turn my head to look behind us, I see over a hundred.
In a panic, I twist my head in all directions trying to figure out where we're at. Astonished, I realize that we're at least two hours away from Rose's, according to the highway sign announcing how far the next town is. I can't believe I slept that long! It sure didn't feel like it! But if we had still been close to Rose's house, we damn sure would have gone back another route to warn and help them.
As I straighten and button my clothes, I tell Jake-who's doing the same-that he did a good job keeping us out of that mess and saving our lives, and he grins at me.
"I sure did, until you tried to screw it up by sneezing!"
"Hey, it wasn't my fault! Apparently, I'm allergic to jackasses named Jake."
We tease each other in an effort to cover up the awkwardness...and the disappointment. Yes. I'm disappointed. Happy, now?
Wide awake now from the adrenaline rush-from both the zombies and Jake-I settle into my seat and look out the windows. I suck in a sharp breath. I just can't believe all the destruction! So much in such a short time. It blows my mind!
Vehicles wrecked, homes destroyed, body parts everywhere, fires, and smoke in the distance. It's everything you see in the movies, and read in the books, and everything you probably imagined if you ever imagined this happening.
But it's much, much, much worse than that, because this is real. It's not a movie, it's not a book, and it's not your imagination. This isn't going to be fixed easily, if at all. I guess it never really hit me before now that the world I knew really is gone. We have no cops we can call. No firemen, ambulance, or hospital can help us. We are truly on our own.
There is so much I never thought about when I had foolishly fantasized about this happening. I never once counted on Will dying. I'm sure there's more on that list, but thinking about Will and the new guilt I now have over what just happened with Jake, depresses me enough to not give a shit about anything else. When the
clenching in my stomach starts easing up and the bile decides to go back down, I look over at Jake.
"You ok?" he asks me.
"Not really," I answer.
Releasing a sigh, I ask, "Did you have any other problems while I was asleep?"
"Actually, I did," He says. My stomach does a dozen flips as Jake grins that way-too-sexy grin at me. That grin also warns me that whatever he's about to tell me will be good...and full of shit. "I ran over about a dozen of those things, and then had a couple of them jump on the vehicle, but I steered with my feet as I hung out the window and fought them off. I went on a high-speed chase with a zombie cop, had a duel at sundown with a cowboy zombie, and then I stopped by Hooters for some supper. I didn't get you anything because I was a little occupied once I got inside. You know, hot babes, big boobs?"
I give Jake a dirty look for that-Jealous? No!-but I appreciate his attempt at humor for my sake.
"Shut up. So I take it, then, that nothing else exciting happened. You can be such an asshole, Jake."
"Yeah, but you love this asshole." He grins that damn killer-grin at me again and makes my insides melt.
I roll my eyes at him and look out my window. I definitely don't love him...I don't!
We come to a small town, and to my surprise, Jake pulls up to a gas station. I ask him what he's doing and he tells me that vehicles do need gas sometimes...and he's hungry.
"Well, you just said you stopped by Hooters, so maybe next time you're there you need to focus on the food."
"Ha. Ha. What is it you like to say? Oh, yeah. Bite me!"
Jake laughs at the feigned pissed-off look I give him as he jumps out of the truck. I stay in my seat and watch for anything that moves. I hear Jake put the gas nozzle in the tank and then silence. After a few moments of that silence, I whip my head around to look toward the back to where he should be, but he's gone!
Chapter Seven
I feel a few seconds of panic before I tell myself he must have gone inside for some reason. I force myself to relax and turn back to look out my side window...and scream bloody murder!
Shoving open the door, I hit Jake in the stomach with it...hard.
"You stupid ignorant piece of dog shit! What the hell?" I kick and punch him. He's laughing, but yelps each time I connect. "I hate you! You are the biggest damn jerk alive...or dead!"
Jake bear hugs me. Then, still laughing, he asks if I'm done trying to kill him. I snap back, "No", and he just holds me while I fight to get free.
Then he backs me up against the truck. Recognizing the look in his eyes, I stop fighting and turn my head to the side, away from him.
"Jake, no," I plead in almost a whisper.
Jake stops, sighs, and backs away from me. He turns and walks back to the opposite side of the truck.
I watch him go, but I don't feel bad. In fact, I'm kinda angry about it. Why does he keep tempting me? Why can't Jake understand I do still love Will, no matter how much my body reacts to him? I climb back in the truck, slam the door, and rest my forehead against the cold glass. Ugh! This is just one more complication I don't need!
I sigh, lift my head, and look around-remembering how loud we were. Still no zombies. I wonder if all the undead have completely zombified this town and left in search of fresh victims?
I look to the back and see Jake standing by the pump, filling the tank, and I decide to get out. I reach back in for my gun, slip it in my holster, and then walk around the truck to where Jake is standing.
"Hey," I greet him, softly.
"Hey," he answers back, just as softly. He looks miserable and upset.
"Look, it's ok. It's done. Forget about it," I tell him.
He gives me a sharp look, "I'm not sure I can, Canada. I'll try to give you some time, but I can't even promise you that. I want you. I'm sorry."
I look away from him, appreciating his honesty-but at the same time, his words irritate me. I need him to be strong because I'm not so sure that I can be.
He finishes filling up the tank and we head into the store. The inside isn't very large. It has three short aisles and we clear each one. There are a set of restrooms, another door that says "employees only" and then, finally, a door that is unmarked and I assume may hold a manager's office.
Jake's clears the restrooms and the office and then we both go through the employee door, excited to see the room stocked full with all kinds of goodies. I move to the back corner of the room, reading labels on the boxes as I pass. When I reach the wall and turn around, Jake is so close to me, I can't move. Fire burns in his eyes, and my legs suddenly feel weak.
He wraps his arms around me and-just like that-I'm wrapping my own around him. When our lips meet, the kiss starts slow, but quickly builds up to the hot passion we shared just a short time before. Jake moves his lips from my own and places a hand on each side of my head. He gently pushes my head back and layers kisses around my neck, moving up to my ear, and sending chills through my body. I gasp when his lips attach to my neck and the suction bruises my skin.
Finally, he takes his mouth from my throbbing neck and leans his forehead against my own, his hands pressing against the wall on each side of my head. Our heavy breathing fills the quiet of the backroom. Jake's eyes are closed and then suddenly, they're not. My eyes widen and my heart leaps when I look at them. So beautiful. So damn intense!
Jake clears his throat and with his forehead still against mine, says, "I want you, Canada. I want you bad! But not here and not in the truck. I want the first time I make love to you to be in a bed, in a house, and safe. Will's gone, Honey." My eyes fill with tears at the mention of Will. Jake puts one hand on the back of my neck and lightly massages. Softly, he continues, "I'm sorry, Sweetheart, but he is. And you know that. Let me take care of you and the boys. Let me love you. I'm not asking you to forget Will, I would never do that. But I need you. I love you."
I watch him as he watches me, waiting for my answer. He's right, Will is gone. I don't have a husband to take care of me and the boys anymore. Back when the world was normal, I would never have considered moving on so fast, but this isn't a normal world. This is a world where fighting and surviving is now the norm. I don't want to do this alone. I can't do this alone. And why the hell should I have to?And―wait. He loves me?Me? I'm not so sure I believe he really does but I won't lie and say it doesn't make me feel good to hear it. But again, he's so very beautiful, so sexy...and I'm so not! Plus we've only known each other a few days. Can people 'love' someone in such a short amount of time?
Then my thoughts go back to Will. Will and I fell in love fast, as in day one. So I guess it's possible, IF I were someone like Sara. I'm not in any way beautiful or sexy and no real prize. Except to Will I was, of course! Hell, Sara is the type men fight and kill over-definitely not someone like me. So, no, I don't believe him, but I can't imagine Will would want me to try staying alive and keeping the boys alive alone, either. I believe he would want Jake to take care of us, if he absolutely couldn't do it himself. Of course Will didn't care too much about Jake when he was alive and knew Jake had kissed me, but now that he's gone, Will would want someone tough who knows how to fight and keep others alive to protect us. I know he respected that part of Jake. So it would be ok with Will if I had Jake in my life, right?
Screw it. I have to do what I have to do now.
I watch Jake's eyes widen as I smile up at him. I nod my head and he gives out a shout and a laugh, picking me up and swinging me around. My body aches with pain-not being fully healed yet-but I don't care. Jake kisses me hard and deep, and the pain is forgotten. He holds me away from him, his eyes shining with happiness, and tells me he's going to get the truck and move it to the back door so we can load up what we can of the boxes, and then get out of here.
I smile and nod my head, then my eyes follow him as he leaves the room. My mind wants to fight me on my decision, but I ignore it. Instead, I allow myself to feel some happiness.
While he's gone I start moving boxes closer to the b
ack door. I hear the truck pull up and I walk over to open the door, jolting to a stop when I hear the cowbell on the front door clank as it's opened. What did he go back to the front door for?
Then it crosses my mind that it might not even be Jake in the front, but I'm too afraid to go look. And I don't want to open the back door in case it is Jake in the front with a very good reason why he left the back in such a hurry. SHIT! What do I do?
My heart is slamming into my chest from the panic that is building and my mind is barely able to function. Finally getting my shit together, I run over and hide behind a large stack of boxes in the corner. The lighting in this room is dim, so in the corner, it's almost dark. I feel pretty confident no one will find me here. I don't think, whoever it is, is an undead unless they've learned to open doors―Wait! Did that door open in or out? And could a zombie have gotten past Jake who had just left the front? What the hell is going on? If Jake is messing with me, I'm gonna kill him!
Anger fills me with that thought, but not enough to make me storm out acting like a fool. Hearing footsteps approach the storeroom, I crouch down even more and pull out my gun, careful not to make a sound. The steps are slow and have a distinct slide to them. Ah, hell! It's an undead. Damn it!
Even though my body is screaming at me not to move, my mind is telling me that I have to be the one who's ready and not the one who's surprised, so I force myself to peek around the box.
It comes into view with another step and a scream echoes through my body and my mind, almost totally shutting down both. I only make a short, strangled sound aloud-but it's enough.
Its head slowly turns toward me. I back up the few small steps I can before I slam into the wall.
Please! Please, don't make me do this! Not this! Please!
The zombie reaches its arms out toward me, shuffling and limping in my direction. I can't raise my gun. I just can't!
Learning To Live (Zombie Overload Series) Page 3