by Sarah Banks
Anna froze. She tried to control her breathing but she still felt like she was gasping for breath. She heard Jack come up behind her.
“Anna, are you okay?” Harry asked in a shaky voice.
Anna nodded jerkily but couldn’t speak.
“I heard you crying out in your sleep so I woke Papa up. He told me to stay put but I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Harry said in a small voice. Jack the dog licked Harry’s face comfortingly.
Tears welled up in Anna’s eyes. She bit her lip.
“Anna just had a bad dream Harry,” Jack explained softly. He hadn’t moved from his position in the doorway behind her. “She’s okay now.”
“She doesn’t look okay,” Harry pointed out.
“I, ah, just need a moment, please excuse me,” Anna said. She unlatched the front door and emerged into the midnight darkness.
The moon was covered by a thin layer of clouds but there was enough light to see by. Anna didn’t remember she was barefoot until her feet hit the cold dirt path leading to the outhouse. She walked the well-worn path slowly, taking several deep breaths as she tried to compose herself.
She emerged from the privy and slowly walked back to the house. She washed her hands in the wash bucket next to the porch, the water icy cold on her damp palms. She pressed her cold, wet hands against her hot cheeks. She repeated the action before patting her face dry with the sleeve of her nightgown.
Anna wrapped her arm around one of the posts of the front porch. She pressed her forehead against the rough wood and took a couple deep breaths. She knew the reason for her dream was because of the strange man she had seen in town reminding her of Thomas. But she was safe now. She had no reason to be afraid anymore.
When she returned inside Jack and Harry were waiting for her. Jack sat at the kitchen table. Harry sat on his lap, her head resting against his shoulder. She slipped from his lap when Anna came inside and closed the latch and slipped her hand inside Anna’s.
“Can I sleep with you tonight?” Harry asked.
Anna looked at Jack before responding. His gaze was inscrutable.
“Sure,” Anna replied. She followed Harry into her bedroom.
“Goodnight,” she murmured as she passed Jack.
“Night Papa,” Harry called from inside Anna’s bedroom.
“Goodnight,” he responded softly.
Anna closed the door before the dog could follow and she crawled into bed after Harry. She reached over and extinguished the lamp.
Harry wiggled and squirmed until she found a comfortable spot.
“Night Anna,” she said.
Anna was startled when Harry’s hand found hers underneath the covers.
“Goodnight Harry.”
Chapter Twelve
Anna woke the next morning sweating profusely. She gently untangled herself from Harry and slipped from the bed. Memories of the previous night flooded back to her starting with her horrible dream about Thomas.
She didn’t think she would be able to fall back asleep but had surprisingly found sleep fairly easily with a sleeping Harry pressed against her. She had been comforted by Harry’s presence, the sound of her deep breathing, her limp little hand in Anna’s.
Anna quietly performed her morning ablutions. She carried her shoes, careful not to wake Harry and tried to open the bedroom door but it stuck again and took a second try to open. She would have to ask Jack to fix it for her.
She just about tripped over Jack the dog who had been lying in wait just outside the door. Anna caught him by the scruff as he tried to dodge her and slip inside the room.
“Oh no you don’t,” she whispered, closing the door behind her.
The dog’s ears went down dejectedly. Anna smiled and scratched him behind the ears, immediately perking them back up. He licked her hand. She laughed softly. She had been instantly forgiven.
Milk and eggs were already on the table. Jack must have done Harry’s chores this morning since Anna was pretty sure she would have woken up if Harry had tried to crawl over her.
Anna quickly buttoned her shoes before grabbing her jacket and heading outdoors with Jack the dog. He ran straight toward the barn so she figured that was where Jack must be. She continued onto the privy.
She washed her hands in the wash bucket next to the porch. When she turned she saw Jack watching her from the large doorway to the barn. He leaned against the aging wood, his hat shading his eyes.
Anna changed directions and slowly walked toward him. She stopped a couple feet directly in front of him, her hands buried in her pockets and looked up at him curiously.
“You’re always watching me,” she said softly.
Anna could tell she had caught him off guard with that remark. His face went carefully blank. She decided to let it go for now.
“Sleeping with your daughter is like sleeping with a dozen hot rocks under fifty blankets in the middle of summer,” she remarked wryly.
Jack laughed.
His face sobered and he asked, “Are you okay?”
Anna nodded.
They stood silently staring at each other for a few moments. She looked away.
“He didn’t hurt me you know. He tried though. I caught him outside my room late at night the first time. The second night he came again. I knew I couldn’t stay. I knew I would never be safe. I answered your ad the next day. You were the answer to my prayers,” Anna said softly, without looking up at him. She toed a rock in the dirt at her feet.
“The weeks waiting for your reply seemed like forever. Thomas became more and more aggressive, like it was some kind of game.” She closed her eyes and shook her head as if she was trying to forget the terrible words he had said, soft, cajoling words at first before turning dark and threatening when she didn’t respond or obey him. “His business at the bank picked up shortly before your letter arrived and I had a little reprieve. I left the morning after your letter arrived. I didn’t even tell my cousin goodbye.”
Anna opened her eyes and looked at him, her eyes glazed with unshed tears. She was surprised by the intensity that she saw there. Hot tears began to spill over and slip down her cheeks as she cried silently.
Jack pulled her into his arms, holding her close. She gripped the edges of his jacket, her face pressed against his chest, her tears soaking into his shirt. She found comfort in his strong embrace. He held her for several minutes as the sun rose higher in the sky. When he finally released her, she stepped back and looked into his eyes and she knew she was in trouble.
She was falling in love with him, this man, who on their wedding day, vowed never to love her in return.
Chapter Thirteen
Anna looked forward to their trips into town twice a week for shopping and Sunday services. She was glad Jack could spare the time even though it meant he had to work later some evenings to compensate for the missed work. She enjoyed spending the morning or afternoon with her husband and stepdaughter driving into town and back. She knew once winter came they wouldn’t be able to make the frequent trips if they could even go at all.
She slept later than she had intended. Anna quickly washed and brushed her teeth before deciding to wear her new dress she had finished the night before. She planned on saving it until Sunday but she was too excited, it had been so long since she had gotten to wear something new. It fit her perfectly and she knew the rich brown color complimented her hair and eyes. She pinned her hair up and left the bedroom.
After visiting the privy, she returned to the house and stored the milk and eggs. She opened a couple of windows, inviting the cool, clean spring air inside and started breakfast. It wasn’t long before she heard Harry moving around upstairs.
“Morning,” Harry mumbled, rubbing her eyes as she slowly made her way downstairs. Jack the dog ran circles around her. Harry patted his back. “Yes, yes, I promise I’ll save a piece of bacon for you.”
Harry noticed Anna’s new dress as Jack walked into the house. He didn’t usually make an appearance at the house during
the day and Anna thought they weren’t going into town until early afternoon. She glanced at him curiously before adding a third place setting to the table.
He hung his jacket and hat. “Morning.”
“Morning Papa. Isn’t Anna pretty?” Harry asked, fingering the material of Anna’s new dress.
Anna blushed. Harry had put her father on the spot. Her blush deepened as Jack’s eyes brushed from her eyes, down her dress, to her toes and back, and he said softly, “Very pretty.”
“Thank you both,” she murmured. She set a plate of flapjacks and another plate of bacon and eggs on the table before bringing Jack a mug of coffee with cream and sugar added. She joined them at the table.
“Thanks Anna,” he said appreciatively before taking a deep draught. He set the cup down and forked several pancakes onto his plate.
Harry forked an equally tall stack onto her own plate.
“Harry,” Anna and Jack said in unison.
Harry put half back.
“I thought we could go into town early today,” Jack proposed. “The rest of the farm work can wait until this afternoon.”
Harry clapped her hands happily.
“What do you think Anna?” He asked.
“I think that sounds fine.”
After breakfast, Jack went to hitch up the wagon. Harry helped Anna clear the dishes before following after him. Anna quickly cleaned up the table, did the dishes and stored the leftovers. She retrieved her purse from the bedroom, double-checking she had her shopping list.
The previous evening she and Jack had sat at the table plotting her vegetable garden. He promised to plow a spot near the house sometime this week. Anna couldn’t wait to start planting. Now that the house was clean and tidy, she had time to spare and she truly enjoyed gardening. She would be able to stock their cellar for the next winter.
Afterwards Anna stayed up late and finished her dress. She still needed to sew her bonnet but decided she would do Harry’s nightgown next and then maybe a shirt for Jack. Anna had fallen into bed happy and exhausted the previous evening.
She hung up her apron, buttoned her jacket and tied her bonnet under her chin. She waited on the front porch for Jack to pull the wagon around. She could hear the jingling of the harnesses from inside the barn and the faint sounds of Jack and Harry talking.
The sun was hidden by clouds today. Only a few small patches of blue sky could be found. The wind had picked up and there was moisture in the air. She wondered if it might rain later today. Perhaps that was why Jack had wanted to get an early start. She wouldn’t mind a rainstorm after they returned. She loved the soothing sound of rain on the rooftop.
Anna watched Jack drive the wagon from the barn and stop in front of the house. Harry sat in the back of the wagon, Jack the dog leaning against her with his new haircut completed the previous afternoon. Harry’s face was more clean than dirty, her hair neatly braided and running down her back underneath her hat. Her clothes were cleaner and even though she still dressed in boys’ clothes, she was starting to look more and more like a girl.
Jack helped Anna into the wagon and they were soon on their way into town.
∞∞∞
Anna walked into an empty mercantile, the bell ringing overhead. She perused the fabric first, choosing a soft and pretty yet durable fabric for Harry’s nightgown.
She turned to see Mr. Martin descending the stairs. He smiled when he saw Anna.
“Good morning Mrs. Tremaine,” he called.
“Good morning Mr. Martin. I just have a short list today,” she said, setting the fabric on the counter and retrieving the list from her purse. They only needed a few foodstuffs, fabric for Harry’s nightgown, clothespins and vegetable seeds.
Mr. Martin scanned the list. “Starting a garden I see.”
“Yes, I’m very excited about that.”
Anna heard quick, light steps on the stairs. Jenny appeared, grinning from ear-to-ear.
“Good morning Anna dear.”
“Good morning,” Anna replied with a small smile.
Jenny turned to her husband, “Nathan, did you tell her?”
“No, no, I waited for you dear,” he said, winking at Anna.
Anna watched them both curiously.
“I’m a grandmother,” she exclaimed, clapping her hands together happily. “To the most beautiful baby girl in the entire world, save my own dear Laura of course.”
“How wonderful. Congratulations,” Anna said sincerely.
“You must come upstairs dear. She’s the tiniest, prettiest thing.” She seemed to sense Anna’s hesitation. “I insist.”
Anna looked helplessly at Mr. Martin who responded, “She’s cornered every female customer today. You might as well just give in now because she’ll just badger you until you do, take it from me. That’s how she got me to the altar you know.”
“Oh hush,” Jenny said, playfully swatting her husband’s arm. She took Anna’s list from her hand and set it on the counter. “Nathan can take care of this no problem.”
Mr. Martin nodded. “I’ll put everything in the wagon,” he said.
“Thank you. And I need some of this fabric for Harry’s nightgown,” she said, turning over her list and pointing out the measurements she had made.
He nodded again, picking up the list.
“And—”
“A detailed receipt, absolutely,” he finished with a smile.
She smiled. “Thank you Mr. Martin.”
Jenny grabbed Anna’s hand and pulled her toward the stairs.
The home above the mercantile was quite decadent compared to the house Anna lived in with Jack and Harry. There was a lot of fancy furniture, more than one family could possibly use, she thought. The flooring was carpeted, the walls papered and every surface held delicate knickknacks. And yet Anna preferred the home she shared with Jack, made from his own hands, simple, solid and comfortable.
She followed Jenny into a sitting room where her daughter sat on a blue tufted sofa holding a tiny bundle. Laura looked up at Anna and smiled. The new mother looked tired but happy. Anna felt a flash of envy.
“This is my daughter Laura. Laura, this is Anna Tremaine, Jack’s mail order bride I was telling you about.”
Anna blushed.
“Nice to meet you,” Laura said with a smile.
“You too. Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” Laura murmured.
Jenny sat down next to her daughter. “And this most perfect bundle of pink and white is my granddaughter,” she said proudly.
Anna stepped forward as Laura pulled the blanket away from the baby’s face. She was the most precious thing Anna had ever seen.
“Would you like to hold her?” Laura asked.
“I-I don’t know.”
“Of course she would,” Jenny insisted, standing. “Here take my seat.”
Anna sat down next to Laura. She easily settled the tiny infant in Anna’s arms, pulling the blanket down further away from the baby’s face and lovingly brushing the baby’s cheek with her finger.
“Her name is Leah.”
Anna looked down at the baby, so tiny and light in her arms. She had never held a newborn before. She felt overcome with emotions. She had been so close to her own mother, she never imagined that she wouldn’t have children of her own. She missed her cousin. And she wouldn’t be there for the birth of her first child. Anna blinked back tears. She brushed a finger along Leah’s chubby pink cheek. The baby’s eyes opened briefly, her mouth opened and closed again.
“She’s absolutely precious,” Anna breathed.
Laura beamed.
A handsome young man walked in and went straight over to Laura. He stood behind her, his hands on her shoulders, squeezing gently. Laura placed her hands over his and tipped her head back. Her eyes closed as he pressed a kiss against her temple. When she opened her eyes, her gaze was filled with love. And it was reflected in his eyes.
Anna looked away. It was clear they were very much in love. She
felt the ache inside her deepen.
“Anna, this is my husband Adam. Adam, this is Anna, Jack’s bride,” Laura said softly.
“Hello,” he said.
“Hello,” Anna returned.
Laura reached over and squeezed Anna’s arm. “I guess it won’t be long now until you have little ones of your own.”
Anna looked down at the sleeping newborn and felt her eyes burn with tears. She desperately tried to blink them away before anyone noticed.
When she looked up she saw Jack standing in the doorway, an inscrutable look on his face as he watched her hold the baby.
Mr. Martin came up behind Jack and slapped him playfully on the shoulder. “Jack’s turn to hold the baby,” he announced with a grin.
Anna thought Jack would refuse and was surprised when he took a step toward her. She stood and handed him the baby carefully. He took Leah easily into his arms and looked down at her. Leah looked even smaller and more delicate in his arms. She opened her eyes and pursed her lips.
Jack looked up and smiled at the new father. “You did good work Adam.”
The men laughed heartily and Laura and her mother giggled. The baby gave a quick cry of protest at the sudden noise and Jack instinctively bounced her gently, soothing her.
Laura smiled as Jack placed the baby gently back into her arms.
After saying their goodbyes Anna followed Jack down the stairs. Once outside he turned and quickly lifted her into the wagon. She felt on edge. It was a disconcerting feeling.
“Where were you?” Harry demanded.
“Holding Laura’s new baby,” she explained, rearranging her skirts.
“Aww, I want to hold the baby.”
“When you’re a little bit older,” Anna said.
“How old?”
Anna hesitated.
“Who’s baby?”
Anna was at a loss for words.
“Yours? Are you going to have a baby with Papa? Am I going to have a baby brother or sister?” She asked excitedly, clasping her hands together.
Anna looked at Jack in desperation. He was scowling.