by Susan Stoker
They were now sitting in his living room watching a movie on the television. Well, Billy was watching. Hope was fixated on Calder.
“Did you get enough to eat?” he asked.
Hope nodded.
Calder was sitting next to her on his extremely comfortable black leather couch. Billy was in a giant beanbag off to the side. Hope could see his legs sticking out of the thing, and that was about it. It was like a giant cocoon.
“Everything was delicious, thank you.”
“It was my pleasure. Come here,” he ordered, holding out his arm.
Hope took a deep breath and did what she wanted, rather than what her brain was telling her she should do, which was put some distance between them. She was falling for Calder, which scared her to death. But she snuggled into him, loving the weight of his arm across her shoulders.
Calder nuzzled her temple and Hope sighed. She ducked her head, laying it on his chest, and pulled her legs up until her knees were touching his thigh. “Tell me about yourself,” she blurted, desperate for something to talk about to keep her mind off of wanting to rip all his clothes off right there on the couch. “Did you always want to be an ME?”
He chuckled, and Hope could feel his warm breath waft over her head. “Nope. I kinda fell into the job, but I honestly love it. It’s a perfect blend of solving puzzles and getting my hands dirty, so to speak.”
“Ewww, but I guess I understand.”
He chuckled again, then shifted and put his feet up on the coffee table in front of them so he was slouched down a bit more on the couch. He pulled one of Hope’s arms across his belly and rested his hand on her arm.
Hope tensed before relaxing into him a bit more. Calder was warm, and she loved the way his fingers gently caressed her arm as they talked.
“I majored in biochemistry in college. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, but I had being a doctor in the back of my mind. Then I took a forensic pathology class and that was that. I knew that was it. I went to medical school, did an anatomic pathology residency, worked a fellowship in forensic pathology…and here I am.”
Hope snorted. “You make it sound so easy.”
Calder shrugged. Hope could feel his shoulders move under her, but she didn’t pick up her head. “Honestly? The schooling wasn’t that bad simply because I enjoyed it. Was interested in it. Every day, I’d learn new things. I even attended the police academy in Austin because I wanted to get the law enforcement experience, so I could use that to help me know what I was looking at when I got to crime scenes. Try to get into the mind of the person who might’ve murdered someone else. I know people think what I do is morbid, and I guess on one hand it is, but I find the human body fascinating. It boggles my mind how we can start out as a single cell inside a drop of sperm, and in nine months or so grow into a human. The body is so complex, and it’s amazing how much abuse it can take before throwing in the towel.”
“I envy you,” Hope whispered. When he squeezed her, she kept going. “I got a general studies degree in college because I didn’t know what I wanted to do. Even after I graduated, I had no clue. Nothing really spoke to me. Then I met Billy’s father and thought he was the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I had a job at a middle school as an administrative assistant and when I got pregnant, I was so excited to let my boyfriend know. I thought he was going to be ecstatic. That he would propose, and I’d quit my job and get to be a stay-at-home mom. That’s really what I wanted to do…” Her voice trailed off as she remembered what had actually happened.
“I take it he wasn’t happy.”
Hope snorted. “To say the least. He didn’t want kids. Said I’d tricked him. I tried to explain that birth control wasn’t always one hundred percent effective, but he accused me of purposely sabotaging it by not taking my pills properly.”
She felt Calder kiss the top of her head then leave his lips against her. “That sucks.”
“Yeah. I tried to go home, but my strict, very religious parents weren’t thrilled I was knocked up and not married. They kicked me out and told me I’d made my bed so I had to lie in it.”
“Assholes,” Calder murmured.
“So, I had Billy and was struggling with the single-parent thing.”
“Then you met Earle,” Calder surmised.
“Then I met Earle,” she confirmed. “Things moved really fast with us. I moved in with him within two months of us meeting. He swept me off my feet. Said all the right things. Told me I could quit my job and stay home with Billy. Told me everything I was desperate to hear. I finally thought my life was on the upswing.”
“I’m not him,” Calder said forcefully, straightening and putting his finger under Hope’s chin so she had no choice but to look at him. “Things are moving fast with us too, but I will never, ever, do anything to hurt you or your son. I’ve never lied to you. I want you, Hope, but at your pace.”
“I…I know.”
“No, you don’t. Not yet. But I’m making a promise to you here and now that I’m not him. I won’t hit you. I won’t hit Billy. I’ll support you in whatever you want to do in your life. You want to become a doctor? I’ll bend over backward to make that happen for you. You want to stay at home and raise your children, I’m on board with that too.”
Hope stared at him, wanting to believe him, but she’d been let down too many times in her past to blindly do so.
He sighed and pressed his lips together in frustration before kissing her forehead and dropping his hand from her chin. “I get it,” he said softly. “It’s easy for me to say. I’ll give you as much time as you need to believe me. To understand down to the marrow of your bones that I’m the man you were supposed to be with all along. I hate that you had to go through what you did in order to find me, but I’m here now. I want you to be the woman you were meant to be, and I’ll do whatever it takes to help you get there.”
Hope squeezed her eyes shut to keep the tears from falling. He was saying all the right things, but didn’t Earle do that too? Hope knew Calder was nothing like her ex. He’d already proven it time and time again, but it was still really hard for her to trust her own judgment.
“What are your parents like?” she asked after an awkward silence, wanting to get their conversation back on safer ground.
“I guess they’re your everyday normal couple. They live up in Dallas. Dad works too hard and Mom does what she can to get him to relax as much as possible.”
“What does he do?”
“He’s an accountant. So the first four months of the year, he’s gone a lot. He works an insane amount of hours preparing taxes and helping his long-time customers. But after April, things calm down and he and my mom take their RV out and travel. They’ve been to all fifty states and are planning on spending six weeks in Alaska soon.”
“They sound nice.”
“They are nice,” Calder agreed.
“Any brothers or sisters?”
“Nope. Just me. I’ve been blessed in that my parents have always supported me. They don’t understand why I like examining dead bodies and dissecting them, but they’re proud of me all the same.”
“I don’t care what Billy wants to do with his life. I want him to start talking again, but even if he doesn’t, I’ll always support him. I’ll never turn my back on him like my parents did with me,” Hope said firmly.
“Of course you won’t,” Calder said. “You’re an incredible mother.”
“Thanks. Most of the time I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m trying.”
“I think most parents think like you do.”
Hope shrugged and looked over at Billy. His eyes were glued to the television screen as he watched dinosaurs trying to eat the characters on the screen. “Calder?”
“Yeah, honey?”
“I like this.”
“Me too.”
“If it was just me, I’d probably jump into something with both feet and say the hell with the consequences.”
“But it’s
not just you,” Calder said. “I understand, Hope. I do. And I’ll say it as many times as you need to hear it, I’m perfectly willing to go at whatever pace you want. I like you. A lot. And I want you and Billy in my life however I can get you. I’ve been focused on my career for a long time because there wasn’t anything else to be focused on. But I want a family. A big one. I figured it was probably too late for me to have that, but then you came into my life. If you let me in, I’ll do everything I can to make sure you and Billy have everything you need and want.”
Suddenly there was a loud grunt from next to them.
Hope jerked and turned to look at Billy. He was struggling to get out of the huge beanbag and trying to get their attention.
“I got him,” Calder said, gently easing out from under Hope and standing to go help Billy. He reached down and grabbed his hands and helped him stand without difficulty. Hope knew she probably would’ve had to grunt and groan a little more to assist her little boy, who was quickly growing taller and bigger every day. Soon he’d not only be taller than her, but would weigh more too.
Billy nodded his thanks and ran down the hall toward the bathroom.
Chuckling, Calder sat down next to her on the couch once more. “Guess he had to pee.”
Hope smiled. “Guess so.”
Billy reappeared minutes later and came up to them on the couch. He held out a piece of paper and had a huge grin on his face.
“What’s this?” Hope asked, taking it from him. “Oh! This must be the scratch-off ticket Eli gave to us the other day. You know, when Calder’s friends were there. I guess we left it in your pocket and forgot about it. You wanna do it now?”
Billy nodded his head enthusiastically.
Calder chuckled and reached into his pocket and pulled out a quarter. “There ya go, Bud.”
Hope kneeled by her son’s side at the coffee table and instructed him on what to scratch off. It was the One Million Dollar Big Money scratcher. It was somewhat complicated, so it took several minutes for Billy to use the coin to uncover everything he was supposed to.
Hope studied it for a long, silent moment, then turned to Calder. “I think we messed it up.”
“How?”
“Because it says we just won a million dollars.”
Chapter Six
Calder stared at Hope. She wasn’t kidding. “Can I see the ticket?”
She nodded and handed it to him without hesitation.
He looked it over once. Then again. Then he raised his eyes to hers. “Hope, even if you scratched off everything on the ticket, it would still be valid. The machines in the stores use the code at the bottom to determine if it’s a winner. No matter what you scratched off, or didn’t scratch off, the outcome would be the same. You didn’t mess it up—you won a million dollars.”
“Are you sure?” she whispered.
Calder nodded and held the ticket out for her, grinning. “I’m sure. You won, Hope!”
She didn’t reach for the piece of paper, just stared at the thing as if it were a snake about to bite her. “That’s impossible.”
“Hope,” Calder said again. “You just won a million dollars. Well, after taxes it’ll be less, but it’s a winner.”
Billy made an excited noise in his throat and Calder looked at him. “You won, Billy! You and your mom won.”
The little boy began jumping up and down in excitement. Calder had a feeling he didn’t really understand what had happened, but it was adorable anyway.
“Calder,” Hope said in shock. “What am I going to do?”
He grinned again. “You’re gonna call the lottery board and tell them you have a million-dollar winning ticket and arrange to pick up your money.”
When Hope didn’t react, he stood and pulled her to her feet. He swung her around in a circle. “You can move into a safe apartment. You can quit your job and find something better out here in the suburbs where it’s safer. You’ve done it, Hope! You’ve made it!”
He stumbled a little when Hope struggled in his arms. He stopped and put her on her feet, confused when she took a step back and stared up at him. “I’m not going to quit,” she said firmly.
“What? Why not?”
“Because. I can’t just up and quit on Joseph. He needs me. You’ve seen the other waitresses, they’re not exactly reliable.”
Calder understood what she was saying, but what he couldn’t understand was the upset look on her face. “Hope, you just won a ton of money. This will help solve a lot of your problems.”
“So my life was a problem?”
Calder frowned at her. “That’s not what I said.”
She turned away from him and picked up the ticket he’d put on the coffee table. “I’m not sure this is real,” she said. “Maybe it’s one of those trick tickets. Maybe Eli bought it as a joke.”
“It looks real to me,” Calder told her.
“Well, I’m not making any snap decisions.”
Calder was getting irritated now. “So, you don’t want to live somewhere safer?”
“I didn’t say that,” she fired back. “But you sounded a lot like my ex when you insisted I move out here.”
That did it. Now Calder wasn’t irritated anymore. He was mad. “I didn’t insist you do anything, and I am not him,” he enunciated slowly. “You said yourself that you wanted to get out of the city.”
“I know. But…this is…I can’t wrap my head around it.”
Calder took a deep breath and tried to relax. She wasn’t rejecting him. She was just freaked out that she’d won. He gentled his voice and took her shoulders in his hands and turned her to face him. “You don’t have to do anything right this second, honey. In fact, I would recommend that you talk to someone about the money before you made any big changes in your life.”
“Like who?”
“An accountant. An investor. A lawyer. Someone who can help figure out what to do with the money so you pay the least amount of taxes possible.”
He saw the panic on her face again. “I don’t know anyone like that. And I can’t afford a lawyer, I—”
Calder kissed her quickly, stopping her words. “You might not know someone, but I do. My dad would jump at the chance to help you. And you can afford a lawyer now, hon. You just won a million dollars.”
“I just… Oh, shit…”
He felt Hope begin to shake and lowered her to the couch. “Billy, run to the kitchen and pour your mom a cup of orange juice, okay?”
Billy had been hovering nearby, but at seeing his mom’s pale face, he ran to do as Calder suggested.
Calder cradled Hope’s face in his hands as he crouched down in front of her. “Breathe, Hope. This is a good thing. I know it’s scary and you’re in uncharted territory, but this is amazing.”
“I can’t believe it. I won’t. Not until I know something official,” she whispered. “I can’t make plans in my head to move, to quit, to do anything until I know it’s not a cruel joke.”
“I understand,” Calder said, enfolding her in his arms. “I’d feel the same way if I was in your shoes.”
They stayed like that until Billy ran back into the room with a half-filled cup of OJ. Both man and boy watched as Hope sipped it. “Thanks, Billy. I appreciate it,” she said with a small smile for her son.
Billy picked up the ticket and held it up. He put his hand on Hope’s arm and raised his eyebrows.
“I don’t know, honey. Calder thinks it’s real, but I won’t know until I talk to the lottery board.”
Billy opened his mouth a couple times, then pressed his lips together in frustration. It was the first time Calder had seen the little boy even try to speak, and he hated seeing him so upset at not being able to say what he wanted.
He reached out and put a hand on Billy’s shoulder. “Your mom doesn’t want to get her hopes up in case it’s not authentic. But nothing will change in your life until she gets the final word, okay?”
Billy shook his head violently back and forth and raced out of the
room once more.
“What is he trying to say?” Calder asked Hope.
“I don’t know. I hate when this happens. Most of the time I can read him pretty well, but I have no idea what he’s thinking right now.”
Billy ran back into the room holding a pen and an old take-out menu that had been on the counter in the kitchen. He fell to his knees next to the coffee table and started to painstakingly write something on the paper. When he was done, he held it up to his mom.
“No, honey,” Hope said.
Billy scowled, then leaned over the paper once again.
Calder looked at her and bit his lip, but they both turned back to Billy when he held up the paper again.
“Not for a while,” Hope told him.
Calder was surprised when Billy threw the pen and menu on the floor and stomped over to the beanbag. He threw himself into it and crossed his little arms over his chest.
Hope turned distraught eyes to him, and Calder was moving before he’d thought better of it. It probably wasn’t his place to comfort the little boy, but he couldn’t stand seeing him so upset. He walked over to the beanbag and got on his knees in front of it so he and Billy were eye-to-eye.
“Can we talk?”
Billy turned his head away. He looked mad, but Calder had also seen the tears in the little boy’s eyes. “Do you want to go to school?”
Billy didn’t respond, so Calder continued. “Because I know your mom wants you to. But she’s worried about you. I know this might be hard for you to believe, but when you were taken, it was just as hard on your mom as it was on you.”
Billy’s eyes met Calder’s.
“Everything she’s done in her life has been for you. She loved you the second you were born. Every decision she makes in her life, she makes with you in mind. Moving to Texas, getting the job at the diner, living in that motel. She worries when you’re out of her sight because she doesn’t want something to happen to you again, like when that bad man took you. Do you understand?”