by Lisa Childs
They were going to lose him or her.
Between Lillian’s sobs, she murmured, “It’s all my fault. My fault... I shouldn’t have set up that meeting.”
And Jake worried that if they lost the baby, he would lose Lillian, too. She would blame herself for whatever happened to their child.
“Shh,” he said, trying to calm her fears, even as his own overwhelmed him. “This is our baby. This kid is strong and tough...” He brushed the sweat-soaked hair back from her face. “And beautiful, if she or he looks anything like you.”
A faint smile curved her lips. But then her mouth twisted into a grimace and she cried out again. She sounded as if she was in agony.
And Jake wished he could take all her pain away.
The doctor looked up at her. “You have to push now, Ms. Davies,” he said. “The baby’s crowning.”
Panic clutched Jake. “Is she right?” he asked the young doctor. “Is it too soon?”
“We can’t stop her labor,” the doctor said. “So the baby is coming now.”
And now was immediate. With one push, the baby came out. Jake’s heart flipped as he stared down at his son. He was little, but he was squalling.
“His lungs are developed,” the doctor said. “I think he’s a little more than thirty-six weeks.”
That made sense since Jake had been seeing Lillian for about a month before her dad and brother had come back eight months ago.
“Do you want to cut the cord, Daddy?” the doctor asked.
Jake froze. And the doctor looked at Lillian, probably worried that he’d misspoken. She nodded before collapsing back against the bed.
His fingers shook, but he managed to squeeze the scissors the doctor handed to him, quickly clipping the cord so he could turn back toward Lillian.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Exhausted,” the nurse answered for her, as she sponged off Lillian’s sweaty forehead.
She rallied, trying to sit up to see the baby again. “Is the baby...”
The other doctor and nurse had already taken him—hooking him up to the machines they’d brought. That doctor, an older female, looked over at Lillian. “Like Daddy told you, he’s strong. He’s little but everything looks to be well developed. You have a healthy son.”
Lillian released a ragged breath. “I knew it...” she murmured. “I knew he was a boy.” She turned toward Jake. “You have a son.”
“We have a son,” he said.
The doctor and nurse beside Lillian finished up with her, making sure she was all right before settling her into the bed in a fresh gown. But she still did not relax—not even when the other doctor brought the baby to her. “Here’s your son, Momma,” she said.
Lillian stared down at him with so many emotions swirling in her beautiful blue eyes. Jake experienced them all with her. The love and awe...
But the regret, too.
He felt a pang of fear as that look crossed her face. Then she held the baby out toward him. “Here, Jake.”
He automatically reached for the infant, who was so small. “Don’t you want to hold him?” he asked.
She shook her head and tears trailed down her face. “I can’t. I can’t get attached.”
“What?” Jake asked. “What are you talking about?” The moment he’d seen the baby, he’d gotten attached. And it had been the same with her; when he’d literally and purposely run into her in that grocery store all those months ago, he’d fallen for her.
“You have to take him,” she said, and her voice cracked with sobs. “You have to raise him. I’ll be in jail.”
* * *
Lillian’s heart broke as the doctor and nurse wheeled the baby out of her room. They were just bringing him to the neonatal intensive care unit. They weren’t taking him away permanently.
At least not yet. But when they brought him back to this room, it was possible that she might be gone, taken off to jail.
When everyone had left but Jake, he turned toward her and asked again, “What are you talking about?” And he looked horrified.
She could understand his hesitation, though. He might not have wanted to be a father at all, let alone a single father. “Don’t you want him?” she asked.
“Of course I do,” he replied. And there was no hesitation now. Then he added, “But I don’t want just him. I want you, too.”
Her heart flipped in her chest. “Even after what I did?”
“I’m not happy you drugged me and put your life in danger,” he said.
Heat rushed to her face. “That was stupid, so stupid.” Regret overwhelmed her. Risking her own life had been bad enough, but risking their baby’s, too, had been inexcusable. “I don’t expect you to forgive me,” she said. “Or to ever trust me again.”
But where she was going, it wouldn’t matter. She had no hope of a future, at least not for a long time.
“Will you be able to trust me again?” he asked.
She hadn’t thought she could. But Jake had proven himself. He’d taken a bullet for her in order to rescue her. She reached out and gently skimmed her fingers over the bandage on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I did purposely set out to meet you so that I could find out where your dad and your brother were hiding. But everything else that happened...that wasn’t on purpose. That was because I couldn’t help but fall in—”
She pressed her fingers over his lips. “Don’t say it,” she pleaded. It would be easier for her to leave him if she didn’t know that he actually returned her feelings. “Please, don’t say it.”
“Why not?” he asked against her fingers.
Her skin tingled, and she pulled her hand away from his mouth. “Because we have no future.”
His dark eyes darkened more with pain. “You still can’t trust me.”
She shook her head. “We have no future because I’m going to jail.”
He smiled, and now the pain was all hers. He found that amusing? But then he told her, “You’re not going to jail. Donny gave the flash drive to the O’Hanigans, and Ryan gave it to the police. Tom Kuipers was arrested, and you’re going to be officially cleared of all charges.”
“What about jumping bail?” she asked. “I actually did that. I didn’t show up for court when I was supposed to.”
“For charges that never should have been pressed against you,” he said. “We’ll work it out. At the most, you’ll get probation for that.”
She released a ragged breath of relief. She wasn’t going to have to give up their son and Jake. Jake...
Now she regretted that she’d stopped him from telling her how he felt about her. How did he feel about her?
“Can I get probation, too?” he asked.
And she stared at him. “I have no idea.” How much trouble was he in for helping her elude the authorities? “Has anyone pressed charges against you for not bringing me in?”
He shook his head. “I’m asking for you to give me probation.”
“I don’t understand.”
He took her hand in his and stroked his thumb across her knuckles. “I want you to give me a chance to prove to you that you can trust me, that I will never hurt you again.”
“Oh, Jake...” Her heart swelled with all the love she felt for him. “You proved to me that I can trust you—when you risked your freedom and your life for me and our baby.”
Jake was the kind of man on which Lillian could count—unlike her family. And his.
They had their own family now, though. So they didn’t need to worry about their old ones.
“So you’ll marry me?” he asked.
She tensed. “Why are you asking?” she wondered. “Because of the baby?”
“You said you could trust me now,” Jake reminded her. “So trust that I love you and want to spend the rest of
my life with you—even if we didn’t have a child together.”
“But we do,” she said. “Are you all right with being a father?”
He sucked in a breath. “I’m scared,” he admitted.
And that admission more than anything else proved himself worthy of her trust. He was being painfully honest and vulnerable with her.
“I don’t know how to be a father,” he said. “Mine wasn’t a good one. He was abusive to my mother and to me.”
She clutched both his hands in hers. “You are a loving and gentle man,” she assured him. “You are nothing like your father.”
“Just like you’re nothing like your family,” he said. “I used to think I couldn’t trust you because of what they are. And I should have known better.”
She sighed. “That makes two of us. I should have known better than to trust them.”
“Donny came through for you,” he said.
She snorted. “I know the O’Hanigans found him and forced the flash drive from him. He didn’t willingly help me.” She could understand why Jake had doubts about his ability to be a parent because of his family. At least she’d had her mother and grandmother to set examples for her on how to be loving and selfless.
“Once he turned over the flash drive, he didn’t have to go with us to meet Kuipers,” Jake said. “He knew it was going to be dangerous. But he insisted on coming along. And really, if you think about it, we wouldn’t even be back together if he’d done what you asked.”
Her happiness dimmed. “You wouldn’t have sought me out if I hadn’t jumped bail?”
He shook his head. “I wanted to call you, to talk to you. I missed you like crazy. But I thought you hated me and that you would never forgive me.”
She’d thought that, too. And she’d tried to hate him when he’d come into her life again. But then he’d risked his own life to help her.
“So, really, we owe Donny,” Jake persisted.
His defense of her brother surprised her, even as it proved that much further to her what a good man he was. And if any good had come out of her brother, she suspected that was because of Jake. Because his fearlessness and determination to risk his life to rescue her had inspired Donny to be a better man.
But he would never be Jake.
Nobody would.
He was one in a million. The love of her life.
“You don’t deserve probation,” she told him.
And he flinched.
So she continued, “You deserve life...” She leaned forward and cupped his handsome face in her palms. Then she kissed his lips. “...with me.”
He released a shaky breath. “You’ll marry me?”
She nodded.
He arched a brow in skepticism and teased, “Because of the baby?”
She shook her head but added, “He needs a name. A first name and your last name.” She ran her fingertips along Jake’s strong jaw. She hoped the baby grew up to be as handsome as his father was. “And I would have told you that you were a father,” she said. “I wouldn’t have been able to keep him from you.”
His brow arched even higher. “Even though you hated me?”
“I would have gotten over that,” she said. “Because I love what we created together. Our son.”
Jake grinned. “What do you want to call him? Davis? Donald?”
“Nothing with a D,” she said with a shudder. “I want him to be his own person.” And not judged because of who his family was.
Jake nodded in agreement. “You’re right. How about Slate—and his life will be a clean one?”
She smiled. It was perfect. Just like Jake. “Slater, and Slate for short.”
Jake smiled, too. But then the smile slid away. “So if not for Slater, why do you want to marry me, Lillian?”
She leaned forward and kissed him again. “I told you before...”
His brow puckered with confusion. “What? When?”
She hadn’t even told him months ago that she loved him—even though she’d felt it. She’d been waiting for him to say it first. When he hadn’t and she’d found out he was a bounty hunter, she’d thought he hadn’t cared about her at all. Now she knew better. She knew he loved her, too.
“Before I left to meet Mr. Kuipers.”
“When I was passed out?” he asked.
Maybe she shouldn’t have reminded him of what she had done—even though he claimed he’d already forgiven her. But had he really?
The way he looked at her, though, convinced her that he had. Because he was looking at her the same way he had looked at their son—with awe and love.
“I was scared to tell you when you were awake,” she admitted. “In case you didn’t feel the same way.”
And the smile was back, curving his lips. “What way is that?”
“I love you, Jake. That’s why I want to marry you,” she admitted. “Not for our son.”
But she was glad that he would have two loving, committed parents.
“But for me,” she continued, “because I love you.”
“I asked you to marry me,” he said, “because I love you. And I want to spend the rest of my life proving that love to you. And I want that life—our life together—to start right now.”
* * *
Donny didn’t know what to say. Sorry was woefully inadequate. Hell, the honorable thing to do was to leave. But he’d wanted to see his nephew. And when Jake had caught him staring through the neonatal unit window at his son, he’d brought him back to Lillian’s room.
“She won’t want to see me,” he protested.
“She’s Lillian,” Jake said. “She doesn’t hold a grudge or she wouldn’t have agreed to marry me.”
His mouth dropped open in shock. “Really?”
“Yes.” But Jake said it with wonder like he couldn’t believe it, either.
Before Donny could congratulate him, Jake pushed open the door to Lillian’s room and shoved Donny ahead of him.
She was sleeping, but when he stumbled forward, she opened her eyes. He expected to see hatred in them. After what he’d done, she had every reason to hate him. But she only looked at him as if she wasn’t quite sure what she was seeing.
He wanted her to see him the way she once had—as someone she loved and trusted. But he would have to work to earn that back.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know I let you down.” His voice cracked as emotion overwhelmed him. He dropped to his knees next to the bed and pressed his head against the mattress. “I’m so, so sorry.”
A hand stroked his head. “I know. I know you are.”
It wasn’t forgiveness. Not yet. But he couldn’t ask that of her. Not after what he’d done. “I’ll make it up to you,” he vowed. “I promise. Whatever you want—free babysitting—”
“Give me away,” she said.
“What?” He looked up and met her gaze.
Tears streamed from her eyes, too, but she was smiling. Her tears were happy ones. “Jake asked me to marry him. I want you to give me away at our wedding.”
He glanced nervously at Jake then. He was surprised the guy hadn’t already killed him. Jake Howard hadn’t thought much of the Davies family to begin with; what Donny had done could have only made that opinion even worse.
But instead of glaring at him, Jake just nodded.
Maybe the doctors had given him some painkillers for his gunshot wound that had mellowed him.
“Are you sure you want me there?” Donny asked them both. “I wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to see me again.”
If the situation was reversed, he would probably feel that way about her. But Lillian would never do what he’d done. She didn’t have a selfish or self-serving bone in her body. She was as beautiful as their mother had been.
Donny felt a pang, missing their mother. And he knew he’d come c
lose to losing Lillian, too.
“Jake is the one who pointed out to me that if you’d done what I’d asked you—”
“Delivered that flash drive to your lawyer,” Donny finished for her.
“Then the charges would have been dropped.”
Donny’s stomach clenched with dread and misery. “I know.”
“And Jake never would have come after me for jumping bail,” she said.
Realization dawned on Donny. “And then the two of you never would have gotten back together.” He’d never been a matchmaker before. He grinned. “That’s good.”
“That we never would have gotten back together?” Jake asked, and his voice was low and gruff now with anger and resentment and the risk of Donny dying at his hands.
“No, no,” Donny quickly assured him. “Not at all! I’m happy you are.” It was clear to him now how much the bounty hunter loved his sister—so much that he’d risked his life and taken a bullet for her.
Donny’s little nephew was damn lucky he had Jake Howard for a father. And Lillian would be damn lucky to have him for a husband. It didn’t matter to Donny anymore what his father thought about their relationship. What mattered was what was best for Lillian, and that was Jake.
“And I’d be happy to give you away,” he said. He wasn’t their father. And he was damn glad of that. He intended to be a better man than his father was.
He intended to be like Jake.
* * * * *
Don’t forget the previous titles in the series:
In the Bodyguard’s Arms
Nanny Bodyguard
Beauty and the Bodyguard
Bodyguard’s Baby Surprise
Bodyguard Daddy
Available now from Harlequin Romantic Suspense!
Keep reading for an excerpt from Hometown Detective by Jennifer Morey.
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