“I don’t understand it. I felt no effect.”
I do. It prevents any of us from going downworld. You two can’t return to Xanth. I can’t return to my alien home. All we can do is remain here on Cone, or travel farther upworld.
“But I want to rejoin Wira!”
Only if she comes to you. You can’t go to her. That’s a powerful curse.
Hugo wasn’t sure how to react. He had never imagined such a curse. “You mean we can’t even transfer back to Xanth, assuming our bodies are there and free?”
That is what I mean. Would it help if I told you how noble I find you? Twice you have risked your life to enable us to escape danger.
“I just do what it is right to do.”
Without any thought of personal gain. That’s noble. I think it’s a function of your empathy. We did not offer to do the same for you.
Hugo didn’t argue the case. “I still want to consult with Princess Ida.”
I will scout the route, Era thought. He spread his lovely white wings and took off. He was a beautiful creature in flight. Thank you. Hugo realized that the serpent had read his thought.
“I could get to like this talent,” the Factor remarked. “Those fruits are something.”
“No way,” Hugo said firmly. “I want my body back. And my wife.”
Era returned. The best route is circuitous but safe. However, there’s no way to avoid the forest near the rim.
“What’s the matter with the forest?” the Factor asked. “We have forests in Xanth.”
Not like this.
Hugo decided not to inquire. They would find out soon enough.
Night came while they were still on the safe route. Hugo wasn’t sure exactly what made day and night here, as there seemed to be no sun, just the huge nebulous head of the lower-world Ida around which Cone revolved. The cone spun around its long axis, and that dim head was dropping out of sight.
The Factor, following Hugo’s instructions, conjured a greatfruit. The thing was the size of a small tent, which was the point. They hollowed it out and camped under its protective husk. The Factor also conjured an array of fruits for them to eat.
“Why did the nametaggers imprison you?” Hugo asked the serpent as they settled down to sleep.
Jealousy.
The two men looked at the serpent, not comprehending.
Every person on this planet is a crossbreed, Era explained. The two of you will stand out, because you are obviously not crossbreeds, but probably you’ll be left alone. But I am more of a crossbreed than most, and they resent that. They are mere two-type crossbreeds: human beings and name tags. They feel inferior.
“You must have bird ancestry, and snake ancestry,” Hugo said. “But that seems to me like a garden-variety crossbreed, if you’ll pardon the expression.”
I can assume the form of any of my ancestors, for a while. The winged dragon disappeared, replaced by a straight snake. Then by a straight hawk. Then a young cat, really a kitten. And a mature panther. A large scorpion. A spider. A hummingbird. A stallion. A gargoyle, and a winged humanoid with batlike wings. Then the man split into three copies of himself, all identical. “But this takes a lot of energy,” the three men said together. He reverted to what was apparently his natural form, the winged snake.
“That is impressive,” Hugo said, amazed. “I didn’t know that anyone in Xanth could have so many forms.”
As I said, I’m essentially a demon. I’m from another universe. All I want is to live a long, full, fruitful life in peace. But the moment folk discover my nature, there’s trouble.
“I appreciate your problem,” Hugo said. “Maybe Princess Ida will know of a world where you can be yourself in peace.”
That would be nice.
They slept. Hugo was a bit surprised that sleep was much as usual, despite his being made of soul stuff. He didn’t think to try to dream of Wira, and didn’t know whether she was asleep now, so there was no dream contact. That was too bad.
In the morning they ate more fruits, then resumed their trek toward the great rim of Cone. And soon enough encountered the Forest. And stood, daunted. These trees were something else.
The monstrous tree trunks were closely spaced, each larger and gnarlier than the others. Their massive branches intersected and formed giant knots of wood. About halfway up toward the distant sky the main trunks actually expanded and formed wooden ledges. On these high ledges were houses where the forest denizens evidently lived. However, there seemed to be enough space between the trees at ground level to allow them to pass.
No such fortune, Era thought. Farther in they grow so close it’s a veritable wooden wall. However, I located a tunnel.
“That will do,” Hugo said.
The snake flew to the side. Soon they came to the tunnel, formed by trunks and branches that had not quite been able to make a perfect link. It passes all the way through.
“Good enough.” Era was certainly doing his part.
A crossbreed appeared. It seemed to have kraken tentacles and horse hooves, with a vaguely human head. “Pay the thumb tax,” it said. “You have four thumbs between you; the snake doesn’t count.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Hugo said. “We’re just passing through.”
“Ignorance is no excuse. Pay, or we’ll not let you pass.” The creature indicated the trees, where several enormously ugly creatures perched.
I think I found someone, Era thought. I sent her a signal.
A girl approached. Her body was human, but her skin was green, and her hair resembled tufts of grass. She smelled fragrant. “Hello. I’m Citronella, a crossbreed between grass and human. Can I help you?”
“Go away, weedhead,” the kraken creature said. “I’m collecting the thumb tax.”
“I don’t believe in that tax,” Citronella said.
“Nobody asked you.”
The kraken’s attitude suggested that Citronella was worth cultivating. “Hello. I am Hugo Human, from Xanth, and this is the Random Factor, also from Xanth. The winged snake is Era, from another realm. He contacted you telepathically, hoping you could help us. We just want to pass safely through this forest.”
She nodded. “I can help you. But I have a price.”
This was not necessarily good. “What price?”
“One kiss.”
Not good at all. “We’re both committed.”
“Not you. Him.” She looked at Era.
The snake had been hovering nearby. He almost dropped out of the air. Me?
“Yes, you’re so cute,” Citronella said. “You can rustle in my grass anytime.”
“Disgusting,” the kraken said.
“Deal,” Hugo said.
Era flew up, hovered before Citronella, and gave her a solid green kiss. Little tufts of grass circled their heads before dissipating.
“That was great,” the girl said. “Now I’ll exercise my talent.”
“What is your talent?” Hugo asked.
“I get rid of pests of any type.” She focused on the kraken. “Begone, vermin!”
“Traitor!” But the kraken walked away.
“Thank you,” Hugo said.
“Oh, I wanted to mess up the kraken anyway. I’d have done it for nothing.” She walked away.
Era slithered into the tunnel, leading the way again. The men followed. It became awesomely dark, but they followed the sounds of the slithering and had no trouble.
Eventually they emerged on the other side. And stared.
They were at the brink of the vast sea that filled the great cone of Cone. It was as wide across as a world. And around its edge were countless crossbreed couples interacting intensely.
“Stork summoning,” Hugo breathed. “Right out in the open. Everywhere.”
That’s the way of it on Planet Cone, Era explained. The land creatures are able to breed only with the sea creatures, so they meet at the fringe and do it. They don’t fool around; neither can survive long out of their element.
“But there are children here too!”
Of course. They can’t be deserted, lest some drown or dehydrate. There’s no Adult Conspiracy here.
So it seemed.
“Actually it’s interesting,” the Factor said, watching the nearby couples closely. “They have some remarkable techniques.”
Hugo had noted that. In part it was because different crossbreeds needed to adapt to each other in different ways. But they also seemed to have a certain experimental enthusiasm that led to unusual positions.
But they had business to accomplish. “We had better trek on down to Princess Ida,” Hugo said.
There should be no further significant barriers to your progress, Era thought. I think I will remain on land if you can spare me.
“But you have reason to talk with Ida too,” Hugo reminded him. “To find a world where you can live normally.”
On reconsideration, I may be able to make it on this one. I’d like to discover whether Citronella really likes me as I am. I could assume another form for her, so she wouldn’t have to trek to the sea to, well, breed.
“Oho!” the Factor said. “So you have a selfish motive.”
Era blushed along his length. It seems I do.
Hugo laughed. “Then by all means go to her. You have more than repaid us for our service to you.”
I am not sure of that. I brought the curse on you.
“We’ll manage,” Hugo said with more confidence than he felt. “Farewell, Era.”
The snake flew gratefully away.
“You say we can breathe the water?” the Factor asked.
“That is my understanding. That visitors can, not being entirely bound by the local planetary rules.” He put his face in the water and tried to breathe, half expecting to choke.
Instead it worked; the water tasted like thick air. So he plunged on in. In a moment and a half the Factor joined him.
They found themselves in a new realm. They seemed to be at the top of a steep mountain slope that was much like the dry side. There were massive seaweeds that resembled trees, and people working angled fields. There were even some small ponds. Hugo decided not to ponder that too intensely, lest he become confused. “Let’s keep moving,” he said, and was gratified to find that he could speak normally.
“The denizens have gills,” the Factor said. “We don’t.”
“We must be enabled by the magic of our alien status.”
They found a path and followed it down. Unlike the outside of the planet, there were no special threats or challenges here; the people seemed to be peaceful and satisfied to let the visitors pass on through. Still, it took time to walk the length of the planet, even downhill, and they had to camp for the night. How there could be day and night under the deep sea Hugo wasn’t sure, and preferred not to inquire.
“Empathy,” the Factor said as they chewed on fruit. “It is a strange concept. I think I’m beginning to feel it.”
“That’s good,” Hugo said. “Though it may simply be leakage from my body.”
“I think Debra would like me better with it.”
“She surely would.”
“I wonder where she is now?”
“With Wira, on their way here, I hope.”
“Maybe Princess Ida knows.”
“Maybe she does.” This seemed to be about as close as they could get to personal dialogue; they were in each other’s bodies, but even though the Factor was learning about empathy they still weren’t really friends.
They slept.
Next day they finally made it to the apex of the cone. There was a modest residence, no palace, with a nice little garden. Their path led right to it.
Princess Ida turned out to be a normal human woman with the head of a horse. A crossbreed, of course. Around her head orbited a moon in the shape of a dumbbell.
“You understand,” she said after listening to their story. “That curse is binding. You can’t return downworld. That means that your beloveds will have to join you here, and remain. Are you prepared for that?”
“No,” the Factor said.
“Is there a Good Magician’s Castle here?” Hugo asked.
“I am not aware of any. Not everything is duplicated on every planet, except for myself, and I’m not the same on each. So I suspect you would not be able to set up a similar lifestyle here.”
Hugo sighed. “I was afraid of that. I am not at all sure she would like it, so far from the Good Magician.”
The Factor considered. “To be with Debra, in this body, so that the curse does not apply, I believe I am prepared to make the sacrifice of remaining on this world. I shall be satisfied to wait here for her, and see how she feels about it.”
That made Hugo consider. “Your body is younger and more handsome than mine. If Wira should be satisfied to be with me in this manner, I would be satisfied too.”
“Then perhaps you have your solution,” Ida said. “All you have to do is wait for your women to catch up with you here.”
They nodded. They thanked her and left her house.
There was a guest house nearby for travelers. The Factor conjured some nice exotic fruit to trade for their residence there, and they took temporary possession.
“It’s hardly perfect,” the Factor said. “But it seems that some compromises have to be made for love.”
Hugo was not entirely satisfied. “Wira and I were about to summon the stork when you switched me out.”
“Sorry about that. It was nothing personal. I just didn’t want to be stuck in another cellar.”
“I’m not sure I want to signal any storks with her in your body.”
“I see your point. But of course we hope to solve that problem too, in time. First we get together with the girls; then we work with them to get switched back. There must be a spell, somewhere.”
“There must be,” Hugo agreed. But he remained ill at ease.
They slept—and there was Wira in the dream. She rushed to him and kissed him. “I used some more of the communal dream potion,” she said. “It doesn’t work across worlds, but we’re on Cone now, and so are you.”
He kissed her back. “We’re near Princess Ida’s residence. We’ll wait here for you.”
“There’s a problem,” she said. “We followed the direction Debra knew. But it led us to the tip of the cone, and there’s nothing here.”
Suddenly he understood. “You’re on the outside! We’re on the inside. The straight line direction took you close, but you have to go the other way. To the rim and into the sea.”
“That explains it,” she said ruefully. “We reckoned without this world’s special shape.”
“We’ll wait here—or come to meet you halfway.” He laughed, embarrassed. “Maybe at the brink of the sea, where all the couples meet and, er, relate.”
“So no one will care if we do the same,” she said, blushing.
“You don’t mind that I’m in the wrong body?”
“I understand the situation. Hugo, I just want to be with you and love you.”
“I feel the same. So does the Factor, with Debra. But maybe we had better check with Debra.”
Debra appeared in the communal dream. “I feel the same. I can’t be with Random in his own body; you know why. So yours will do, until we find a way to nullify the curse.” She glanced at the Factor, who was also present.
“Until we find a way,” Hugo agreed. He knew the curse needed to be nullified, because Debra evidently slept in her bra, and that bra made his hands itch to take it off. Because he was in the Factor’s body, that could be deadly.
“We don’t have much dream potion left,” she said. “So we won’t be in touch this way often, just as necessary.”
“I understand. And I need to explain something too: we’re under an additional curse the nametaggers put on us. When we transfer, we can only go upworld, not back to Xanth.”
Wira frowned. “That’s bad. But maybe we’ll find a way around it. Meanwhile, don’t transfer.”
“We
won’t,” he agreed. “We need a curse nullifier, if we can find one.”
She began to waver. “Oops, it’s running out. We must go. Remember—the rim of the Hypotho-sea.”
“The rim,” he agreed. “We’ll start walking in the morning.”
“So will we.” She stepped quickly up and kissed him, then faded. Debra did the same with the Factor.
“The Hypotho-sea?” the Factor asked.
“That’s what she called it. It makes sense: the sea where the hypothetical water creatures exist.”
They sank back into pleasantly dreamless sleep.
Suddenly there was a looming cacophony. It sounded as though half a passel of unruly monsters was banging at the door and windows.
“I don’t like the sound of this,” Hugo said, jolted awake.
“Neither do I,” the Factor said. “Who would be raiding us?”
“In the name of the nametaggers you wronged,” a monster’s voice shouted at one window.
“And for the thumb tax you cheated us out of,” another monster’s voice added at the other window.
“We will hereby devour you,” a third monster cried at the door.
“They must have made a foul deal with the sea monsters,” Hugo said nervously.
“To gain their vengeance on us,” the Factor agreed.
The door crashed inward. Three monsters jammed in the doorway, trying to get in together. Both windows shattered as more monsters hurtled against them. Each was more bug-eyed, tentacular, and sting-tailed than the others. Any one monster could have eaten them both, and there were many.
A pineapple appeared in the Factor’s hand. “No!” Hugo cried. “That will blow us up along with them, in this confined chamber.”
“Then you transfer us out of here,” the Factor said, coming to grab his arm.
Hugo needed no further urging. He transferred them out. As he did so, he saw the pineapple slip from the Factor’s hand. That would drop to the floor and explode among the converging monsters.
Fortunately, the two of them were gone from this world before that happened.
Unfortunately, they could only be in another world, much smaller than the one they left. And the women would not know, until they set up another communal dream.
They would have to start all over again.
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