by Celeste Buie
“You want me to sit down with you for a bit?” Elyse asked.
“No, keep dancing. I’ll be alright in a few minutes.”
I’ve just got to shake it off, I reasoned with myself. I’ll reflect on it later.
“Don’t let this ruin your night,” Elyse begged. “It’s almost over.”
“I won’t,” I said convincingly, hopefully enough to convince myself. “I need to get something to drink. I’ll find you guys.”
I weaved through the dancing crowd and hoped I’d set off in the right direction. I just needed a second to clear my head.
I noticed my group clustered around the refreshment table, and I made a last-minute decision to turn right and head out into the hallway for a moment of solitude. I didn’t want to be bombarded with questions. I had plenty of my own running through my head at the moment.
I strolled down the hall, my fingertips grazing the lockers. The gap between the locker doors and their frames created disturbances in the smooth, thick flow of paint. A perfect reflection of my life in this instant. Life was smooth sailing the majority of the time, but hiccups were bound to create distance between the good times.
I felt stuck in that gap. Maybe I’d only see the light again if I figured out what troubled Trevor. The only way I could find out was to be around him more and read him. I’d have to be natural about it, because he certainly wouldn’t talk about it. He’d offered to spend time together, so maybe I could meet up with him another time. I vowed I would figure it out, no matter what.
I returned to the dance, resolved that my friends would only act strange about tonight if I did.
The guys still stood by the refreshment table. I approached them.
“I’m going to try this again and hopefully I’ll get a better response. We only have thirty minutes left, and each of you owes me a dance.”
Their expressions changed from dejected to animated, but they played it off as they adjusted their ties and straightened their postures. I felt honored, but I wasn’t fooled by their attempt at playing it cool.
“I’m first,” Zach said as he stepped forward. “And with the amount of time left, I get two songs.”
We managed to find Elyse and Jared on the floor. After two songs, Logan showed up, ready for his turn, then Wayne took Logan’s place. At the end of the second song with him, Landon appeared and tapped him on the shoulder.
“I believe the lady owes me a dance. Two, actually. May I?”
Wayne relinquished his position, and Landon quickly filled it.
Just then, the DJ announced it was time to play the last slow songs of the evening.
I tensed.
“I hope you’re not thinking of backing out,” Landon said.
I raised my eyes to his and took a small step toward him. I placed one hand in his and rested the other on his shoulder. We moved closer.
“Because there’s no way you’re getting out of it that easy,” he teased. He rested his hand on the small of my back and gently drew me in. “Follow my lead,” he said.
I pulled against him, panicked. “Uh, you don’t plan on dancing fancy, do you? I never have.”
“Fancy dancing?” he smiled. “It’s much more fun than standing there and rocking side to side. The next song we’ll dance boring. Trust me, it’s all in the leading, anyway.”
His confidence calmed me. I released the tension in my shoulders, and off we went. We glided across the floor, weaving between the other couples. I let him and the music carry me away. We gracefully floated over the dance floor, our movement fluid and smooth. Then he lifted our grasped hands and guided me into a turn. I giggled with amazement as I realized he was right. All I had to do was follow his lead.
“See?” he said close to my ear once I returned to him. “Nothing to be afraid of.”
We continued that way for the rest of the song and part of the next one. He switched to what he called the boring style about halfway through and explained that he wanted to dance like everyone else for a bit. I wished he didn’t. I really enjoyed the other style more than I had thought I would.
Now that we were within inches of each other and effortlessly swaying to the music, I became more aware of his closeness. I was comfortable with him. He felt relaxed, content. It was an entirely different experience than being close to Trevor.
“Did Trevor have anything interesting to say?” he asked.
I searched his face. “He thinks I should stay away from you. And warned me that you’re dangerous. Ruthless even.”
“Does his opinion match yours?”
I had to look away to compose my thoughts. I didn’t want to lie to him, and he’d probably know anyway. “I suspect you could be, but you haven’t been with me.”
“Where you’re concerned, everything’s complicated.”
“The theme of my life lately,” I mumbled. I felt like no one was honest with me anymore. Well, Landon did show me some of what he was capable of, but only after I told him why I met with Cassandra. I couldn’t help but feel it was give and take with him. I didn’t have any more information to share, so he didn’t offer any either—even though there was loads I had yet to learn.
The last song began. We all linked arms and formed a large circle on the dance floor. My last homecoming of high school was coming to an end. I was already too full of emotion to let this one affect me.
CHAPTER 29
We changed and settled in at Elyse’s. I traded my dress for jeans and a zip hoodie. I never would have guessed that the guys had just come from a semi-formal dance. They looked as casual as ever. We still looked dressy, with our hair styled and more makeup on than normal.
Elyse designated the upstairs TV for movies and the downstairs one for Wii. I passed on the video games, popped a few bags of popcorn for us, and claimed a space on the comfortable couch with the other girls. They had their digital cameras out and flipped through the shots from the dance as they reminisced over the highlights…which, of course, brought the conversation back to me.
“So, Brynn, what did you think of Trevor showing up like that?” Samantha asked.
I felt all the girls’ eyes on me. I knew this was going to be a hot topic. “I have mixed feelings about it.”
“What did he say?” Lauren asked.
“Some nonsense about our breakup being temporary. He sounded confident that we’d be back together in the future. It’s like he has to resolve something first. I don’t understand it at all.”
“Is he a psychic now? That’s about the craziest thing he’s said yet. So why aren’t you together now?” Samantha asked.
“Right?!” I sighed. “I can’t ask him too much. He just gets upset. He’s so confusing.”
“I hope you’re not going to wait around for him to make up his mind,” Lauren stated.
“No, I’m living my life. He’ll always be special to me, if we get back together at some point or not. But I won’t have closure until I figure out what he’s up to.”
“Are you going to have Jared try to find out for you?” Samantha asked.
“I would, but Jared rarely sees or talks to him anymore. I’m going to have to spend more time with him. He even asked me if I wanted to hang out tonight, so he seems open to it. Maybe I’ll go to his parent’s Halloween party next week after all,” I said, looking to Elyse. She nodded.
The conversation switched to another topic, but I couldn’t follow along.
CHAPTER 30
On Monday morning, Emilee approached me at my locker. Apparently she had something to get off her mind. What a great way to start the day.
“Do you think the two of you are an item?” she asked. I felt anger radiating from her.
“Huh?” I managed to ask, confused. “I’m not dating anyone.”
“Oh, come on! I seen the way you danced with him and the way you two looked at each other.”
“I danced with a lot of guys, so I’m not following you.” I smiled at the memory of being led around the dance floor with not one or tw
o, but five different partners.
She slowly leaned in. My smile faded. Her voice was barely controlled. “Don’t think for a second that I buy your attempt at innocence. How many guys falling over you does it take for you to be happy?”
I shook my head, searching for an answer that would pacify her.
“Pick someone else,” she demanded. “Actually, just avoid guys who are off-limits to you, and it’ll work out better for everyone.” She composed herself, backed away, and strolled off.
It took a minute to collect myself, but I managed to. I quickly scanned the hall to see if she had made spectacles of us. The only person staring at me was Landon. He must have slipped by while Emilee confronted me, both of us too preoccupied to notice. I looked away and headed to class.
He kept his distance that week. Part of me wondered if her comments bothered him as much as they bothered me. I waited for him to return to his usual self, but he didn’t. I kept my distance too, but I had enough distractions between trying to pull together my Halloween costume, planning the right things to say to Trevor, and figuring out how to best acquire Landon’s trust to get the information I wanted.
Elyse and I planned our strategy for Halloween night. She and Jared would pick me up, we’d head over to Adrienne’s house for a few hours, then head to Trevor’s for the rest of the night. I’d either leave with them or with my parents, depending on how the night went.
Adrienne had transformed her entire basement into a creepy graveyard scene. Small spotlights on the floor highlighted the stark cardboard trees, rickety gates, and weathered tombstones. The ceiling lights were covered with a purple film to dim their harshness, and the smoke machine created an eerie atmosphere.
I mingled with nearly everyone, making a point to avoid Landon and Emilee. I paused at the appetizer table and ate a few peanut butter–filled pretzels, then helped Adrienne refill empty trays. I glanced at my watch, which felt heavy on my wrist, and tried to calculate how much longer to stay. I wanted just the right amount of time with Trevor. Too little and I’d miss out on rare time with him; too much and I’d seem desperate.
After another half-hour, I nodded at Elyse, and we started our round of good-byes. I noticed Landon standing by the stairs as I made my way closer. He looked preoccupied on his phone. I followed Elyse and Jared as they made their way to the stairs. I had to pass Landon on the way out.
“I know what you’re trying to do,” he murmured when I was within earshot.
I stopped in my tracks. This was the first direct thing he’d said to me since he’d overheard Emilee’s confrontation. Since his comment was of the challenging nature, I wondered if my going to Trevor’s trumped what Emilee said during her hallway standoff on his irritation meter.
I notched my chin higher. “And?”
“People don’t always like what they find when they seek it.”
I rolled my eyes. “You don’t have to talk in riddles. And I’ll take my chances.”
“I could stop you from going.”
I huffed through a smile. “Are you going to restrain me?” I asked incredulously.
“You should know me better than that by now. I have more creative options at my disposal. And I said that I could, not that I would.”
I searched his eyes until I understood. He could supernaturally block all contact with Trevor. I assumed he’d do it with a rune, but at this point, who knew? Or maybe he could diminish my wanting to contact Trevor. Maybe he could erase Trevor entirely from my memory. I didn’t know and didn’t need the specifics because I knew he was serious. “What’s your point? And don’t you dare.” The anger conflicted with the incredulity I felt, and my threat lacked conviction.
“My point is that I’m much more proficient than you think, and you shouldn’t be running off to newbies who just put you in danger.”
“What choice do I have? You haven’t divulged anything since I did, and I don’t have any other information to share, so I’m SOL with you and your barter system.”
“I never said I’d divulge anything. Ever. And I’m not required to,” he said with controlled calm.
“I guess my telling you didn’t mean anything then,” I accused. I waited a beat, hoping he would correct me. He stared at me, eyes bright with emotion. Unspoken words begged to be voiced in the silence, but the moment passed without him speaking any of them. I don’t know why I said it. It hurt to say. The act of trusting him felt significant to me. I hadn’t expected anything in return when I confided in him about the nature of the meeting with Cassandra, but he had shared a secret of his own.
What we were arguing about wasn’t the real issue anyway.
He reached for my hand and held it in his warm one. My skin tingled from his contact. “That conclusion is very illogical.”
I sighed, knowing what he meant and also that he couldn’t say it in a direct way. I should’ve accepted it and moved on. I should’ve. “You should know by now that I don’t like being told what to do. And if this bothers you so much, perhaps you should give me the answers I seek,” I whispered. His eyes measured me a moment before his hand fell away, effectively ending the conversation.
I brushed past him, went up the stairs, and left with Elyse and Jared.
I took advantage of the car ride to clear my head. I couldn’t carry the frustration with Landon to Trevor. I had plenty of time to deal with Landon.
I felt comfortable walking up to Trevor’s house. I resigned to let him set the tone for the evening.
The three of us entered the house, which burst with activity. Voices from conversations drifted to us from all corners. A CD played spooky Halloween music in one of the rooms, and the lights were low.
Cotton spider webs stretched across the stair banister, and the light bulbs in the foyer chandelier had been replaced with black ones to cast a shadowy, purple glow. Skulls and large spiders hung from the ceiling, and motion-detector skeletons and ghosts danced when anyone walked too close. They hadn’t overlooked one detail. I knew from past experience that the entire house had been decorated, even the bathrooms.
I found my parents first, so I stopped to let them know we were here and that I’d most likely drive home with them after all. I scanned the kitchen and found Trevor talking with a group of friends. He excused himself, rushing toward me.
“I’m so glad you came!” he said and wrapped me in one of his classic hugs.
“Me too!” I agreed and hugged him back. “Your parents have outdone themselves again. Another successful party.”
“Well, they’re pros at this by now.”
“Where are they, anyway? I want to see them.”
“I think they’re in the lower level. Come on, I’ll help you find them and get you something to drink while you say hi.”
I followed him down the stairs with Elyse and Jared following. They found a space on the couch and claimed it. I greeted his parents and exchanged small talk. It was good to see them again.
The two of us joined Elyse and Jared on the couch. We settled into our old routine, teasing each other and retelling stories of our adventures together. It felt like old times.
The hours passed quickly and the party dwindled. My parents came looking for me to say they were ready to go. I reluctantly called it a night.
He pulled me in for another hug. “Hanging out with you just reinforced that I want to see you more. I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’ll figure out a way to make it work.”
“I miss you too.” I hugged him back.
He released me and held my hand. “It won’t be the same as before.”
“It doesn’t matter. Everything will work out. I just want to be able to talk to you without tension in the air.”
“That’s kind of up to you,” he said pointedly.
I couldn’t push him for answers. And that was fine with me. That route hadn’t worked in the past, so I was going about it in a new way. My cleverness made me smile. “I understand.”
“So I’ll call you this week. Maybe we can
meet for coffee?”
“Sure. That sounds good.”
My parents didn’t push me for details on the ride home, which threw me off a bit. Maybe they had watched all of us together and realized that it was just like it was before the summer, that we were getting along as if nothing happened.
We slept in late Sunday. I told my mom that I’d do some running around with her and helped clean the house before I secluded myself in my room to finish studying for an exam Monday.
In between memorizing notes and skimming my book for facts, I traded texts with Elyse about the party. She was surprised that it went so smoothly, even though she knew my purpose behind it. Once committed, I would do whatever it took—short of hurting others—to get what I wanted. She was more surprised at Trevor’s sudden turnaround than I was. She believed it was due to seeing all the guys around me at homecoming and realizing that he could lose me. I didn’t care what his reason was. All I cared about was that he’d no longer push me so far away.
After a good amount of time studying, my focus turned to cleaning. I washed three loads of clothes—I couldn’t believe I let them pile up so much—and vacuumed and dusted my room. I rearranged my desk and dresser and put all the items in their proper place. By the time I finished, it looked like a whole new space.
My parents ordered in for dinner. I took Roxie for a walk, studied some more, then went to bed.
Not long after falling asleep, I realized Landon had invaded my dream.
I looked around. “Why’d you bring me to a library?” I asked, happy he wanted to talk.
“So you’d have to keep your voice down,” he teased.
I settled into a chair, waiting for him to share whatever he chose to. He sat in a chair across from me. The silence stretched.
“I liked it better when he didn’t talk to you,” he finally admitted.
“And why’s that?” I asked innocently.
He didn’t answer, so I moved on. “Did Emilee’s comments upset you? Is that why you kept your distance all week?”