by J. M. Walker
His hold on me tightened.
I expected him to say something dirty, but he hadn’t said anything. Not even during sex. I wasn’t sure why, but it bothered me.
“Talk to me,” he murmured, the deep vibrato of his voice rumbling through me.
“I don’t know what to say,” I whispered, turning away from him.
“Tell me how you feel.”
“I like this. Being with you. Being in your arms again.” I cupped his cheek. “I like getting to know you.”
“I like this too.” He turned his head, kissing my open palm. “Jail didn’t start out that bad. Besides being away from you, it was manageable. But over the weeks that followed, word got out who I was.” He kissed my shoulder. “As much as it sucked, like I said before, Piper, I would have done anything to get home to you.”
Placing a hard peck on his mouth, I tried with everything in me to let him know how I appreciated what he had done for me.
“I’m going to go get cleaned up, check on Brynn, and then head to bed.” I kissed him one last time before sitting up. “Thank you for this though.” I pulled my leggings back on and slipped the tank top up and over my head. “Join me?”
“Of course.” He grabbed my hand when I went to walk away and turned me toward him. He lifted my shirt, placing a soft peck on my stomach. “Did you have any depression or anything?”
My heart jumped. “Postpartum depression?”
He nodded.
“No. I was lucky that way. That had been one of my fears because you weren’t here, and I couldn’t see you. But I was fine.” I pushed my fingers through his hair.
He leaned his forehead against me and took a deep breath. “I’m glad.”
“Me too,” I whispered.
Jaron stood, grabbed a hold of my hand, and brought it up to his mouth. His dark eyes never strayed from mine. They looked into the deepest parts of me. The parts that had only ever been his.
Stepping away from him, I led him to our bedroom. While we both got ready for bed, I could still feel him inside of me. All throughout me.
“Tonight was amazing,” I told him, slipping into bed after getting pajamas on.
“It was.” He joined me, pulling the covers up and over us before pulling me down and into his arms.
“I just want you to know that I understand if things can’t go back to the way they were. I mean, you changed. Not that it’s a bad thing, I just want you to know that I get it.” I scrubbed a hand down my face. “I’m not making sense.”
“I get it, baby. I’m still him but I’m not. Yes, I changed but I think I became stronger because of it, just like you have as well.”
“I don’t feel strong half the time,” I confessed.
“I get that too.” He cupped my cheek, turning my head to meet his stare. “As much as I may have changed, my feelings for you have not. It’s like being away for all of this time, only made them become more intense.”
“I agree.”
“We do have to take this one day at a time though, baby. That’s all we can do. That’s all we have.” He kissed me softly on the lips. “I wish I could tell you that you’ll get that man back. The one who went to jail for you. The one you fell in love with. But you won’t. Not completely anyway. The only thing I can promise is that I will be the best man for you. Do you understand me?”
I swallowed hard at the mere intensity rolling off of him. “I understand.”
“Good.” He hugged me closer.
“One day at a time,” I repeated, a yawn trembling through me.
“One day at a time,” he murmured in my hair, pulling me against him.
I agreed with him but at the same time, I felt like that one day would turn into a lifetime.
***
(Jaron)
Holding the shank in my hand behind my back, I zeroed in on my victim. This felt good. Too good. The blood that was already on my hands shouldn’t have felt so damn perfect. These men. These vile human beings. They deserved everything that was given to them.
“Kill him and we’ll protect you.”
I didn’t believe those words but listened to them just the same. It wasn’t like I had a choice in the matter. It was kill or be killed and I had a woman who was pregnant with my baby to get home to. I would do anything to get back to her and unfortunately these men knew that. How they did was beyond me. But I wouldn’t put it past the mayor to let that little tidbit slip into unwanted ears.
My dad told me to keep to myself, to stay safe and not get into trouble. Keep my nose clean so to speak. But when I was jumped last week by three larger fuckers and put in the infirmary, I’d had enough.
These men needed to know that I was not one to be messed with. That I would kill them first and ask questions later.
Cross me and die.
My eyes popped open, memories of my nightmare slithering over my skin.
I placed my hand on my chest, trying to ease the racing of my heart.
Turning onto my side, I stared at Piper’s sleeping form. She was on her stomach, her head facing the other way. The covers had ridden below her ass, showing the curves of her rear that the pajama bottoms couldn’t cover.
My palm twitched, itching to reach out to her. To hold her. To tell her everything. How I felt. What I had to do to make it back to her. To tell her that I loved her.
I leaned over, placed a soft peck on her shoulder, and slid from the bed. Pulling a pair of gray sweatpants out of the bag my mom had given Piper, I slipped into them and left the bedroom.
A part of me expected Piper to want things back to the way they were. But were they even good then? I fucked her three times. Once in another country after stalking her beautiful ass, once in a bar, and the last time was in a car. Although, I probably shouldn’t have done that, she never complained.
Heading to the living room, my eyes landed on the box on the floor by the couch. Maybe I should read more of those journals, then I can get to know her better. I could figure out what she needed. What both of them needed and maybe I could figure out what I needed just the same.
Taking the box with me, I headed to Brynn’s room. I opened the door quietly and slipped inside. I never had a chance to tell Piper, but I loved the design of the room. It was warm and inviting. With a soft yellow for the walls, white furniture, and pigs of all shapes and sizes everywhere.
I smiled, my heart thumping hard at the love you could feel just by standing within the four walls.
Brynn was sleeping soundly in her crib and as much as I didn’t want to disturb her, I needed to feel her in my arms. I had heard that a baby could bond with their parent from having skin on skin contact. It was worth a shot and I was willing to try anything to help Brynn know exactly who I was.
Gently taking off her onesie without disturbing her, I lifted her in my arms. She cooed, stirring awake.
“Hey, baby girl,” I murmured, holding her against my chest.
She sighed, sucking on her soother. Her deep gray eyes fluttered closed, another sigh leaving her.
I chuckled, bringing her to the rocking chair in the corner of the room and kicking the box closer, so I could read while holding her.
Getting comfortable, I rested an ankle on the opposite knee, grabbed a journal, and began reading.
I felt the baby kick for the first time today. It was an odd feeling. Kind of like butterflies fluttering around in my belly. I was alone when it happened, so I couldn’t really celebrate with anyone. But I called up Luna and gushed and she did the same about her baby. I can’t believe we’re pregnant at the same time. I wish I could see her.
I frowned, wondering why she couldn’t see one of her best friends.
I turned the pages until I came across one that was dated after Brynn was born.
I had no idea what to name our daughter. I went on Pinterest and spent hours trying to find something unique. I came across Brynlee and fell in love. It’s perfect.
I agreed, running my hand in circles over Brynn’s back.
My eyes widened. She didn’t.
I lowered my leg, placing Brynn on my lap on her back and searching through the box until I came across what I was looking for. Her birth certificate.
Name: Brynlee Emma Mercer
“Fucking hell,” I whispered. She did. She actually gave her my last name. I never expected it, knowing we weren’t married. It wasn’t even hyphenated with both of our names. It was my name. Only.
Picking Brynn up, I put the onesie back on her and placed her back in her crib. My feet carried me to Piper before I knew what I was doing. It was like I was looking down at myself and watching.
She was still sound asleep, but I didn’t give a shit.
Turning on the lamp, I knelt on the bed and rolled her onto her back.
Her eyes popped open. “Jaron? What’s wrong? Is it Brynlee?”
I shook my head, not sure what I wanted to do or say. Thank you was on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t know how to voice it. It was stuck, the words a dead weight between us.
“Jaron?” She frowned, sitting up. “What is it?”
Instead of answering, I pulled her against me and wrapped my arms around her.
Thank you for not giving up on us. Thank you for giving me a daughter. Thank you for this gift that I can never repay you for.
As much as I wanted to voice my thoughts, I couldn’t, so I held her instead.
A shuddered breath left her.
Running my hands through her hair, I gently tugged her head back and stared intently into her eyes.
Something passed between us. We knew how the other felt even though we hadn’t said it yet. But those feelings suddenly turned into something more. They became dark, feral. I needed her in ways I had never felt before. It went far past just love. It became possessive, bordering on insanity. The thought of her being taken away from me left me on the verge of snapping.
“You’re scaring me,” she whispered but I knew she could feel it too. Her nipples hardened, her breathing picked up. We had always been attracted to each other, but this took on a whole other meaning.
Piper licked her lips, wetting the full pout of her mouth.
My body vibrated, my skin tightening over my muscles.
“Hey.” She ran her hands down my stomach, dropping them to my sides. “Talk to me.”
“I had a nightmare,” I finally said. “And then I went to see Brynn. I needed to hold her. I also continued reading your journals. I found the one where you gave her my last name.”
“Oh. Well, I thought it was only right. You weren’t there to help me name her and you weren’t there for anything else. I thought it was only fair. And I know…we are…we’ll be…”
“What?” I needed her words. Her feelings. I needed her to tell me that she loved me. I tightened my hold on her head. “What?” I repeated, my voice lowering.
“What’s going on? Are you mad?” She cupped my face. “Please don’t be mad.”
“Fuck, baby. I’m not mad. I’m far from being mad. I’m turned the fuck on, and I have no idea whether I should rip you open, make love to you, or go take a cold shower. It’s driving me fucking crazy because I can see your nipples through your tank top, and I can…” I closed my eyes, taking a deep inhale, the sweet scent of her desire wafting into my nose. “I can smell your pussy,” I growled.
“Oh.” Her breath caught. “I’m…sorry?”
I chuckled, leaning my forehead against hers. “I just…I need a moment.”
“Jaron.” She ran her hand over my crotch, her fingers grazing the line of my thick cock.
Another growl escaped me. “Piper.”
“I don’t know what’s going on with you but I’m here. For whenever you’re ready. You can make love to me, fuck me, rip me open…” She tilted her head back. “Whatever you want. I just want to make you happy.”
“I…” A tremor of something unknown rushed through me. Instead of taking her up on her offer, I released her and jumped off the bed. Pacing back and forth, I shoved a hand through my hair, avoiding her eyes but needing her to look at me just the same.
“What’s wrong? What did I do?”
“Fuck, Piper.” I spun on her, making her jump. I blew out a slow breath, trying to take control of the sudden rage rushing through me. What the hell was going on with me? “First off…” I took another deep breath. “You don’t need to make me happy. Do you understand?”
“What?” She shook her head, her hair brushing her shoulders with the movement. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“I’m saying that I’m happy. I am happy. Yes, I’m fucked up. But I’m happy and no, you didn’t do anything wrong. You could never do anything wrong. I’m so fucking confused right now…I just…I need…” I didn’t know what I needed but this wasn’t right. She didn’t need to worry about making me happy because it didn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter. Her happiness came first and foremost. That was all I cared about. Nothing more. Nothing less. Her happiness was it.
“I don’t know what’s going on with you but you’re the one who suggested sex, Jaron.” Piper pulled the blankets up to her chest, shielding her nipples from me. A growl was on my tongue. A demand for her to not hide herself from me threatened to fall from my lips. But like the stupid ass that I was, I didn’t say shit.
“I need a moment,” I mumbled, leaving the room. Shutting the door behind me, I leaned against it and blew out a slow breath. It had been less than two days since I had been home. I thought that we would have a happy reunion and that would be it. But I was wrong. I was so very wrong.
Piper
I didn’t sleep well after Jaron left my room last night. I knew I had to have patience with him. I got it but it didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt any less.
“I’m fucked up.”
He had always been grumpy, saying exactly what was on his mind, but this time was worse. He changed and I understood why. Not that I needed him to be exactly the way he was before, but I did need him to see that we were meant to be together. He told me he felt he didn’t deserve me. It made me wonder if he still felt that way.
Letting out a hard sigh, I saw that it was pushing five in the morning. Brynn would be up in a couple of hours, if she wasn’t up already.
Not being able to sleep, I quietly made my way out into the living room.
Jaron was on the couch with his arm over his eyes.
I walked up to him and pulled the blanket off the back of the couch.
He dropped his arm, staring up at me.
No words fell between us. Instead, we had a silent conversation. One that neither of us could ever say no matter how much we tried.
He rolled over onto his side.
I sat on the couch and laid down, snuggling up to him and wrapping the blanket around us.
Jaron curled his arm around my middle, pulling me tight against him. He shifted, his body becoming tense.
“What is it?” I murmured.
“Take this off,” he demanded gently, giving the hem of my tank top a tug.
I stood from the couch and stripped completely.
He pulled his sweatpants off and tossed them to the floor.
Laying back down, the tiny hairs on my body tingled when his cock pressed up against my ass. But even though we were completely naked, he never took it further.
Jaron kissed the side of my throat, letting out a soft sigh, his body finally relaxed. Brushing the back of his knuckles down my side, he ran his hand back up to just beneath my breast. He repeated the movement, as if he was committing me to memory much like I had done when I touched his face earlier. His hand moved to my stomach, his fingers leaving light feathery touches.
My body tensed that he was touching a part of me that I had become self-conscious about ever since I gave birth to Brynlee.
“This is my favorite part of you,” he murmured, his deep voice so soft, I wasn’t sure I had heard him correctly.
“Do you know why?”
“No,” I croaked.
“Because you grew something that belongs to both of us. That’s a part of us. Our best parts. You did something that a lot of women can’t do but wish they could. You grew another person. A baby. Our baby.” He kissed my shoulder. “I’m in awe of you, Piper.”
A hard lump formed in my throat, my eyes welling at his unexpected words. “I couldn’t have done it without everyone.”
He pulled me tighter against him, his length twitching against my ass. He grunted, reached between us, and adjusted himself. “You’re squishing my dick, babe.”
“Oh.” I laughed. “Sorry.”
He chuckled, pulling me even tighter against him.
“I thought I was squishing you.”
“It’s fine.” He hooked his arm that was under my head, around my chest. “He’s not used to having a beautiful woman pressed up against him. He’ll get over it.”
A hard laugh escaped me. “Well, tell him I’ll kiss him better if it ends up hurting too much.”
Jaron growled in my ear, his cock pushing up between the cheeks of my rear. “I think he likes that idea.”
A breathless giggle left me. “We can go to bed. Might be comfier.”
“No.” Jaron brushed his fingers down my side before gripping the back of my thigh and pushing my knee up to my chest. “You’re too far away in bed. This is better.” He pushed the tip of him up against me.
I sighed, a shiver rippling down my spine.
He was hard where I was soft.
“Jaron.” As soon as his name left my mouth, he thrust into me. I bit my bottom lip to keep from crying out. “God.”
“Shhh…” He kissed my cheek and pulled my leg over his waist, but he didn’t move. “I know you feel insecure about the added weight from the pregnancy. But you are beautiful, Piper, and I still want you. I will always want you.”
I loved and hated when he spoke to me while he was fucking me. It was like as soon as he slipped into my body, all of the truths were revealed because he was right. He said it before, and I was sure he would say it again. Sex was the most vulnerable position. For us anyway. Because as much as we had trouble talking, we spoke with our bodies.