by J. M. Walker
“Rape me.
I think what bothers me most is that I had no idea. Brody was nice. Kind. I saw him help an old lady cross the street and nurse a dying bird back to life. It didn’t make sense and I feel stupid for falling for his games.
I’m not sure what’s going to happen or even when your trial is. No one has told me anything. I keep getting an ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I’ll let you know when we find out something’ but no one has told me shit.”
Piper took another deep breath.
“I shouldn’t be writing this letter. My wounds are fresh. My emotions are raw. But I’ve always kept a journal, ever since I was a little girl. So a letter is no different I guess. They say that writing letters and then destroying them after can be therapeutic. Well, I’m not going to destroy this one and I hope you see it. I hope you read it and know the pain your absence has caused me. God, I sound like a bitch. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for Paris and for leaving you the next morning. I’m sorry for not starting whatever this is between us, sooner. Jaron, I’ve been in love with you since we were kids, but I’ve also been terrified of those feelings. Because they go far beyond love. I’m obsessed.
With you.
When you showed up in Paris, I thought ‘This is it.’ Jaron and I are going to be together forever, and we’ll be happy. Little did I know that being with you, isn’t easy. Although, being with me isn’t easy either, I’m sure.
I’ve heard rumors. Stories about the women you’ve been with. It’s like now that we started sleeping together, I’m hearing more and more about how you truly are with the women you’ve fucked. But you know what? I don’t care. I don’t care at all because I know I have your heart. Or I hope I do.”
I kissed her temple. “You do, baby,” I whispered, petting my hand over her head.
“Loving you hurts but living without you is worse. It hasn’t even been a week yet and I don’t know if I can do this. I’m not strong,” Piper continued, a lone tear rolling down her cheek. “Because I know that if you hurt me, I’ll never recover from it. That’s why I’ve been so scared to reveal my feelings for you.
Jaron, you could break me, and I know if that happened, it would be the end of me. I shouldn’t depend on someone like I depend on you, but I can’t help it. I need you. I need your stormy eyes and deep voice. Your cocky smirk and your crude words. I need your rough touch and your spicy scent. I need you.”
Piper looked at me. “There’s more but I can’t. God, Jaron. I sounded so desperate.”
“Never.” I cupped her cheek and placed a soft peck on her mouth. “I thought this would be easier. They never tell you how hard love can be. My parents never taught me this shit.”
Piper laughed lightly. “Neither did mine. My parents had it hard in the beginning. My mom told me. I’m sure most parents don’t talk about that.” She looked at me then. “They probably want their kids thinking they had the happiest of marriages and so on. But not mine. They wanted to be honest with me. They just never said how hard it could be.”
“I want to finish reading the letter.”
Her breath hitched. She handed it to me. “You can finish it on your own if you want. I just go on to tell you that I love you.”
Holding the letter tight in my hands, I continued reading it. She was right. Her words proved how upset and hurt she was. Nothing I didn’t already know was in it. She went on to say how she loved me and couldn’t wait to see me. The letter ended with her saying that she would never send me the letter but would wait for me to read it when I got out of jail. She had also promised in it that she would show me that we were meant to be together and she also thanked me for saving her life.
I placed the letter on the coffee table and pulled her against me. Petting my hand over her head, I kissed her temple. No words passed between us. We just sat there in silence. But the words from her letter dug into my heart, threatening to rip it out and stomp all over my feelings for her. She thought I would be mad. No. I wasn’t mad. Not in the least. In fact, I was almost relieved. Relieved that it wasn’t just me second-guessing everything. Our love for each other was very real but everything else made me question whether we were strong enough to get through this.
My phone buzzed, vibrating on the coffee table in front of us but I never moved to answer it.
“You going to get that?” Piper asked softly.
“No. They can wait.” I kissed her head. “This is more important.”
My phone buzzed again, the person who was calling, clearly not getting the hint.
Piper sighed, reaching for it and handing it to me. “Looks like someone wants to speak to you.” She stood, a cold draft suddenly billowing around me.
“Mercer,” I said, answering the phone.
When no response came, I frowned. “Hello?”
The call disconnected before I could demand to find out who it was.
I stood, following Piper into the kitchen. “Have you noticed anything weird while I was gone?”
“No.” She frowned. “You asked me this already.”
“I know. But I need you to think really hard.” I pulled out a chair from the dining room table and sat before patting my knees.
Piper came toward me and lowered herself onto my lap. “Did something happen?”
“People know who you are.” Even though it made sense that her name was out there, it still didn’t sit well with me.
“That’s not a good thing, is it?”
She was smart. Fucking hell. “No, baby.” I leaned my forehead against her chest. “It’s not.”
“What does it mean?” she asked, brushing her fingers through my hair at the back of my neck. “Should I be worried? I’ve stayed home and only went out if I had to. I know you were defending me but of course my name made the news. It’s why I don’t watch a lot of TV. I didn’t want to see it and be constantly reminded of that night.”
“I get that.” My head snapped up. “But you let me do the worrying. You hear me?”
Piper slid off my lap and began pacing.
“What is it?” My heart picked up speed the longer she didn’t answer me.
“I remember seeing something odd when I was at the grocery store before you came home. I didn’t think anything of it but now, it makes sense.” She stopped, facing me. “There were a couple of women standing by the produce section. They were whispering and looking at me when I walked by with Brynlee. I don’t know what they were talking about, but they kept staring at me. So they were obviously talking about me. But I’ve never seen Price around. It was in the news a few times that he was taking a vacation or a break from politics. I didn’t know you could do that while being mayor.” She rolled her eyes. “He probably paid people off.”
“Probably.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket and sent a quick text.
Me: I need you both to watch over my girls.
Cyrus: Already on it.
The reply came almost instantly from Cyrus. The guy hardly ever slept anymore and for whatever reason, that forced the guilt I had been feeling for the past several years, down harder on my chest.
“Jaron.”
I looked up, placed my phone on the table, and sat back in the chair.
“Can we get through this?” Piper asked, pulling at the hem of her tank top.
I wanted to tell her yes. I wanted to tell her that this was only a bump in our road and that we would get over it together. But none of that came out. Instead, I just sat there and stared at her. We had confessed our love for each other. I thought as soon as those three powerful words were said, that everything would be easier. But I was wrong. The air around us grew thick. The passion that was there became electric, bordering on insanity as I couldn’t think about anything else but getting back inside her tight, hot, wet body.
“Jaron.” Piper’s voice took on that husky tone I had fallen in love with. It proved to me that no matter how much we fought, that lust would always be there.
Running
two fingers along my mouth, I stared at her.
Her eyes followed the movement, her mouth parting slightly. She shivered, hugging herself. “God, I can feel you when you’re not even touching me.”
I chuckled, my body stirring at her confession. “Good.”
She gave me a small smile and took a step toward me. Just when I thought she was going to hint for more, a yawn trembled through her.
My laugh deepened. “Let’s go to bed, baby.”
She nodded, making her way to the bedroom but not before she gave me a look over her shoulder.
My dick jumped.
Maybe she wasn’t that tired after all.
Piper
It had been a few weeks since the night at Gigi and Vince’s place. While I missed the girls, I knew that Jaron and I needed to work on us. There was no way we could get through this if we didn’t. He would spend every evening reading through my journals. Even re-reading them, to the point he had them memorized. I was impressed that he was committed to finding out everything there was about me that he could.
I started writing another journal but didn’t let him read it yet. It wasn’t time. Maybe in a year or more but right now, it was for my eyes only. He never pressed. Just asked what I was doing when he saw me scribbling away in the notebook. I would tell him. He would nod, kiss my head, and leave me to my thoughts.
It was later into the evening on a Friday. We were invited back over to Gigi and Vince’s place but decided to stay home instead. Brynlee was in bed and Jaron and I were snuggled on the couch. He was going through my journals again but there was one that he missed. I often wondered if it was intentional.
“My body hurts. It’s not pregnancy pain either. No, I’m turned on and I can’t do anything about it. Jaron isn’t here to please this ache.”
Jaron looked at me then. “Did you masturbate?”
I gave him a small smile. “Keep reading.”
He cleared his throat and continued.
“I talked to Jaron today and without telling him, I told him. It was weird. It was like he knew that I was aching for him but couldn’t do anything about it. I think he was hinting for phone sex but that never happened. It wasn’t like he was alone anyway. Someone could overhear and I know he wouldn’t want that. Maybe I should use my fingers.”
“Fucking hell.” Jaron blew out a slow breath.
“If he were here, I know he would help make me feel better. Maybe I should live with the pain. I know it’ll go away eventually.”
Jaron turned to the next page, a deep frown settling between his brows. “You didn’t do anything about it, baby?”
“Nope.” I rose from the couch and headed into the kitchen. Pulling two beers from the fridge, I went back to the living room and handed Jaron one before sitting back down beside him. “I think I was punishing myself. Or I didn’t think it was fair that you were stuck in jail and here I was, playing with myself because the pregnancy was making me…”
“Making you what?” He placed the journal on the table and took my beer from me. He put both of the bottles on the table before turning to me. “Tell me.”
“Horny,” I whispered.
He chuckled. “You can let me fuck you in public, but you can’t say that one word without blushing?”
“Shut up.” I laughed, punching his arm. “It’s embarrassing.”
“Why?” He turned me around and pulled me back against him. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed over.” He grabbed my hand and stuck it between my legs. “I think you should show me what you would have done if you had touched yourself though.”
“Oh? And why would I do that?”
“Because it’s hot as hell.” He kissed the side of my neck. “Do it.” He released my hand.
Getting a better idea, I moved to other side of the couch. Bending my knees, I spread my legs and slid my hand up my inner thigh.
Jaron’s eyes followed, watching what I was about to do for him. “Show me.”
I licked my lips, pushing my shorts down my legs, leaving my bottom half completely naked for him.
His eyes darkened.
Just as I was about to touch myself like he wanted, his cell rang.
He muttered a curse, pulling it from his pocket. “It’s Sammy.”
“Take it.” I slid off the couch and got dressed. “He only calls if it’s something important.”
He nodded, putting the phone to his ear. “Yeah.”
As I was walking by him, his hand grazed my hip. I stopped, glancing down at him.
I love you, he mouthed.
“I love you too,” I whispered.
Jaron sat back, pushing his fingers through his hair. “What’s up, Sammy?”
Grabbing my beer, I headed to the kitchen to clean up from our dinner earlier. I heard Jaron’s muffled voice coming from the living room. Unsure as to what Sammy could be calling for, I gave them a moment of privacy. Just in case it was club business that I shouldn’t be privy to. Not that Jaron ever kept things from me but both Cyrus and Sammy had told me often how they filled him in whenever they went to see him.
Letting out a hard sigh, I leaned against the counter and finished off my beer. From where I stood, I couldn’t see Jaron, but I could hear him. His mumbled words, the gruff deep vibrato of his voice. Something was wrong. I wasn’t sure how I knew but I could feel it deep in my gut.
Jaron suddenly appeared in the entranceway to the kitchen. He was no longer on the phone but there was a deep scowl on his face. Whatever Sammy told him, couldn’t have been good. The lines etched on Jaron’s face told me that he was pissed. About something. But I had no idea what. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask, to beg for his words, to plead for him to give me all of him. Every word. Every syllable. Every damn breath as he spoke his truths.
His hands were shoved into the pockets of his jeans, but I could still see the outline of his thick length.
My eyes glanced up, locking with his.
He smirked.
My cheeks heated at being caught staring at his crotch.
“Don’t.”
I swallowed hard at that single word.
Jaron took a step toward me. “Don’t ever be embarrassed for looking at me. You want something, you don’t even have to ask. Just take it, Piper. Take whatever it is that you need. I’ll always be willing to give it to you.”
“Even if we’re fighting?” I asked, my voice small and unsure. I loved him. I loved him with every inch of me, but I had never been in a relationship before. Were there rules that I didn’t know about?
He took those final steps between us and cupped my face.
I shivered, pushing my cheek into his calloused palm.
“Especially when we’re fighting,” he said, his voice low.
“Is everything okay?” I didn’t want to ruin the moment, but he didn’t look happy after his conversation with Sammy.
“The mayor’s still causing shit.” Jaron cupped my jaw. “I don’t want you going anywhere alone. I know it makes me sound controlling but it’s the only way I know how to keep you safe. You want to go out, we go together.”
I nodded. “Okay but what if I went somewhere with the twins?”
A dark shadow passed over Jaron’s face. “I sure as fuck hope you mean Cyrus and Sammy.”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course.”
“Don’t roll your eyes, Piper.” His grip on my jaw tightened. “I remember how jealous you got when Candace called me.”
“That’s different.” But was it?
“It’s not but good try.” He smirked.
I huffed. “I won’t go anywhere with either set of twins, alright? Does that make you feel better?”
“No.” Jaron cupped my shoulders, running his hands down my arms. “Normally, I wouldn’t care if you went anywhere with Cyrus and Sammy but with the mayor sniffing around, I’d rather you be with me, so I know where you are at all times. I know that sounds even more controlling…”
“I get it.” Maybe it was controlling
but after what we had been through already, I didn’t care so much. “Anything else going on?”
“No.” But as he said that single word, something flashed in his eyes.
I leaned back, staring up at him. “You’re lying.”
“It’s nothing, babe.” He kissed my forehead. “Let me worry about it.”
“No.” I gently pushed him back, keeping him at a distance so I could get these words out. “We are a couple. That means we worry together. Tell me what’s going on.”
“It’s shit that’s added to the pile, Piper.” Jaron pulled away from me and began pacing. “The mayor said some nasty shit when I saw him weeks ago, but I never told you because I didn’t want to worry you. Now, he’s saying more shit.” He shook his head. “He was a monster before but now, he’s worse.”
“How can someone like him be worse? I’ve heard the rumors.” I shivered at the thought of what that man was capable of.
Jaron stopped pacing, his eyes connecting with mine. “What have you heard?”
“That he had underage girls working at one of his strip clubs. But no one actually knows if it’s his club or not but, come on, the guy is shady as fuck.” I rolled my eyes. “I remember the way he looked at me when I was at your trial.”
“So do I.” Jaron’s hands clenched into fists. “I should kill him just for that.”
“No.” I took a step toward him but the look on his face made me hesitate.
“What?” His tone was short and clipped. There was a battle in him. Stay and keep his family safe or go after those who wronged him and us.
“I don’t want you to lose yourself more than you already have.” I placed my hand on his chest, feeling the beating of his heart beneath my palm.
“I’m fine,” he bit out, covering my hand with his.
“Are you, Jaron? Can you honestly stand there and tell me that you are, in fact, fine?” I searched his face, waiting for a sign that he was going to run. That he was going to fall to his knees and break before me but instead, I got something far more than what I expected.
He pulled me into his arms. Just when I thought he was going to hug me, he cupped my ass and lifted me into his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist, holding on and waiting for him to tell me what was going on with him. Whatever he needed, I would be there to give it to him.