by Jenika Snow
27
Renee sat on the steps of the front porch, the glass of wine in her hand half-full. She’d filled it up completely to the top, but since then had been sipping on it, enjoying the berry composition of the drink while she stared out at the scenery.
She was waiting for Weasel to get home because she had to talk to him, had to get this emotion of worry and uncertainty of the future off her chest.
Weasel’s house was spaced out to where they had some privacy, but she could still see a few neighbors in the distance. They probably thought something was wrong with her for just sitting here staring, but her mind was full and her thoughts were racing.
She took a long drink from the wine glass and held the liquid in her mouth, just savoring the flavor. Weasel was due home any minute, and she wanted to talk to him about her worries, to try to made sense of them. She wanted to see if he thought the same way, if he had anything he wanted to get off his chest too.
It wasn’t the girls’ fault, and they hadn’t put anything in her head. Deep down she’d wondered about all this anyway, about if he wanted to see other women, if he wanted to be with them. God, just thinking about that made her sick. Weasel was it for her, would only ever be the man she wanted.
Getting involved with the biker wasn’t as easy and cut and dry as maybe a “normal” relationship would’ve been. They were alpha man, hardened to the core. They were like no other men out there. And because of that the female population also wanted them. They also had desires, more primal needs that were raw, roughened.
She trusted Weasel, had loved him for longer than she wanted to even admit. And although he asked her to marry him, said he loved her as well, was he really ready to settle down with her?
Would he really want an old lady attached to his hip?
She didn’t want to drag anybody down, and she certainly didn’t want to get involved in another relationship disaster.
She heard a rumble of his motorcycle before she saw him turn the corner and head down the street toward the house. Renee took another long drink from the wine, knowing that she needed to bring this up before things moved forward.
Although she trusted him with her life, trusted him with fidelity, telling him her worries was part of being in a relationship. She didn’t want to keep anything from him, didn’t want her emotions to be bottled up because she was afraid of saying anything.
And hell, maybe he had the same worries about her?
He pulled his motorcycle into the driveway and cut the engine. He removed his helmet and climbed off his bike, his focus trained on her. She saw the emotion on his face, his expression showing his love.
She smiled, feeling her heart beat faster the closer he got. Before she could even stand up, he had her pulled into his arms. Thank goodness she’d set the wine glass down beforehand.
She heard him inhale by her hair and knew he was taking in her scent.
“I missed you, baby.” He pulled back and cupped her cheeks before leaning down and kissing her on the mouth. His lips were firm, strong, and she melted into him.
“I missed you too,” she said against his mouth. He pulled away and smiled down at her. She wanted to ask him how he felt about all of this, if he was sure that was what he wanted to do.
Renee wanted to make sure that he’d have no regrets. Marriage was a big commitment, and as much as she wanted to do it with everything inside of her, she also wanted to make sure he felt the same way.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, maybe seeing by the expression on her face that she had something on her mind.
“Nothing,” she said and pulled away, but now was the time to speak with him. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about getting married and some other things. I want to be open and honest and I don’t want to keep anything hidden.”
“Okay,” he said, the concern on his face clear.
It was now or never, no waiting until the time was right, no wondering for the rest of her life if she kept her mouth shut. They needed to talk about this and she needed to do it now. She loved Weasel and there was nothing more in the world she wanted than to be by his side for the rest of her life.
But if she didn’t bring this up now she’d always wonder. And all that would do was drive a wedge between them.
28
Weasel knew her concern. She couldn’t hide it from him, nor could she hide the fact that Deanna had come back to the clubhouse and apologized. Now he had to deal with the fallout and what it meant for his woman.
Being part of an MC, he’d gone crazy for a time. Screwing women as if they were going out of fashion. He’d partied hard and fucked even harder. Women were easy when it came to the club life. They wanted one thing and one thing only, to please the bikers that were there.
He got his fair share of pussy and didn’t care about anyone or anything. It was all so easy for him, and he relished it. He loved it.
Then one day he realized he was so fucking empty he was lost. Of course, the emptiness began, and it gradually grew until when he looked in the mirror, he no longer recognized himself.
The women became blurs, all coming together as one. It didn’t matter who they were, and he lost interest. He found himself coming away from the free sex and more into the club. The business and his brothers, that was where the club was at.
He’d watched several of his club brothers fall in love. At first, he didn’t care. It was just another woman within the club. After a while he started to watch the old ladies with their men, and he knew straight away that he was missing out.
Over the past few years he’d wanted what his brothers had. Going home at night to an old lady, to a family. A woman who stood by your side no matter what. He wanted that so much.
Being with Renee, he knew he was never going to hurt her.
He’d lost her once, and he wasn’t going to do anything that would risk their relationship again. He loved her more than anything else. Nothing would have ever made him throw in his patch, but if that was what Renee needed from him, he’d do it.
Renee took a seat at the table, and he grabbed a beer from the fridge. Opening the bottle, he took a long sip, and then sat at the table, staring at her. He waited for her to tell him what the problem was. She needed to be open with him.
He smiled at her. “I’m all ears, babe.”
She smiled. “You know I was debating what to say. I don’t know the right words, or how to describe it.”
“Tell me what you’re thinking about.”
“I don’t want you to get angry.”
“I won’t. I don’t imagine this is easy for you at all.” He glanced down at her finger where his ring lay. “I’m not going to say anything. This has to be all on you.”
Tears were in her eyes, and he saw she was struggling with this. “I don’t …”
“Ask me, Renee. That’s all you’ve got to do. Ask me, and I’ll be open, honest, with you.”
“I’ve been having second thoughts about us getting married.” The tears spilled down her cheeks, and it made him hurt to see her this way.
He leaned forward and put his hand over hers.
“It’s crazy because when I’m with you like now, I know my thoughts are crazy. I love you so much, Weasel. But what if I’m not enough. What if you find some younger woman who can do things that I don’t do?”
He didn’t laugh. Weasel didn’t do anything. He grabbed her hand and held her as she voiced her fears. Each one broke his heart, but he got it.
A biker didn’t have the best reputation, and she had seen the lifestyle more than once. In most situations, men were not faithful to their women.
Weasel had been shocked by how long his brothers had been faithful to their women, but he got it now.
When you’re with the right woman, you wouldn’t dream of doing anything to risk that. Also, there was no one else.
He didn’t look at other women, nor did he seek other women out. All he wanted was Renee. She was the only woman he craved more than anything else.
“You’re not being anything other than careful, baby.” He stroked over the engagement ring he’d gotten her. “You know when you left, I thought a part of myself was dead. I fucked and didn’t give a shit. None of it filled the hole that you had left. You’re right, I’m a biker, and a younger model could come along, but I know in my heart that I love you. You’re the only woman I want.” He reached out and wiped some of her tears away. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. Nothing at all.” He moved, picking her up, and placing her on his lap.
“I feel crazy right now.”
“You’re always going to be a little crazy. It runs in your blood.” This made her laugh. “You mean so much more to me than anyone else in the world. I love you, baby. If you want to wait to marry me, then we can wait. I won’t rush or force you into anything.”
“I want to marry you,” she said. “I do.”
“I just want to point out that this can go both ways.”
She frowned. “What do you mean?”
“You can find some other man who thinks he can please you better than me. What will I do then?”
She burst out laughing. “No one can compare to you.” She cupped his face and pressed her lips against his. “No one can please me as you do, Weasel.”
“Exactly my thoughts concerning you, Renee. So what makes you think that anyone else could ever mean anything to me? You’re my girl, and I’m your guy.” He pressed his hand against her heart and took hers, placing it over his. “We’ve always belonged together, you and I. That is never going to change. Never. You want to take your time. I can wait to marry you. I don’t want to, but you need to know that when it comes to you, I’ll do anything for you. I’ll wait weeks, months, and years to be with you.”
She licked her lips and then shook her head. “I don’t want to wait too long.”
He stroked her cheek. “You can set the date and we can deal with everything. I want you to always come to me whenever you have doubts, worries, whatever it is.”
“Even if it’s stupid?”
“Especially when it’s stupid.” He gripped the back of her head and tugged her down to kiss her lips, silencing her the only way he knew how.
29
The wedding: three months later
Renee couldn’t believe the day had finally come, that she was actually about to marry Weasel, the man she’d wanted for longer than she cared to admit. It almost seemed as though she were dreaming, as though the world had stopped and she was in this otherworld.
She’d planned the wedding with the help of the other old ladies, and in only three months they’d whipped this celebration up. But with no one on her and Vengeance’s side to come, that made the guest list pretty easy.
This was a biker wedding, after all, so that was the only family she needed here.
Here she stood, in one of the back rooms at the clubhouse, the dress she wore gorgeous and delicate. It had lace and crystal, and in a biker wedding probably looked out of place, but she couldn’t wait for Weasel to see her in it.
She smoothed her hands down the gown and couldn’t help the smile that covered her face. This was actually happening, and she was about to marry the man she loved more than anything else in this world.
There was a knock on the door and then it was pushed open. Deanna, Amy, Elena, Eloise, Daniella, Hannah, and Constance all came in, their bridesmaids dresses deep blue, all slightly different but matching enough it was clear they were part of the bridal party.
“Oh wow.”
“Gorgeous.”
“Weasel’s going to shit his pants.”
The girls each gave their praise as they came toward her. They touched her hair, her dress, smiled at her, told her how beautiful she looked. She felt loved in that moment, part of a family, a sisterly bond.
“How are you feeling?” Constance asked and Renee turned and stared at herself in the mirror. The other girls were primping and prepping across the room.
“I’m pretty nervous,” she said honestly.
“That’s normal. Weasel will see you and he’ll cry. We have a bet between us.” Constance laughed.
Renee moved the long fall of her hair over one shoulder and stared at the tiny pearl earrings Constance had given her to use as her something borrowed. Each woman had given her something that was important to her, and it touched Renee deep in the heart.
Everything on her right now looked delicate, fragile, maybe not the girl she’d been at one time or the woman she’d grown to be, but she felt like herself right now.
But I also kind of feel like I’m not myself, like this isn’t my life.
Constance attached the veil to the back of her hair with a crystal barrette, and as everything really sunk in, she breathed out and forced herself not to cry.
Renee closed her eyes for a moment and just breathed. “I need to get past my nerves. I know this should be normal, but I feel like I’m coming undone at the seams.”
“That’s normal. You’ll do beautifully. And yeah, everyone will be watching you, but that’s only because this is your day.”
“Ready?” Amy came up and asked Renee.
She exhaled and nodded. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
Ten minutes later and the girls were all standing up at the podium with the groomsmen on the other side, and Weasel standing in the center waiting for her. God, he looked good in a suit.
There were over one hundred and fifty guests in attendance, all of them friends of the Soldiers of Wrath MC. A part of Renee was sad she didn’t have her own side here, but she had Vengeance, and that was all that mattered.
Seeing all these bikers wanting to share in this celebration had her crying for real now. She didn’t know the majority of them, but that didn’t matter. The Soldiers were one huge family.
“Are you ready?”
Renee turned and looked up at Vengeance. She had her arm in the crook of his, and as she stared at her brother, the man who had always been there for her, shown her how to survive, taken care of her, she knew everything was exactly right in the world.
This was the first day of the rest of her life, and she was more than ready. She’d been waiting for this since she realized Weasel was all she wanted, all she needed.
“I’m ready.”
And she was. Renee was ready to be an integral part of this life. She was ready to make this her reality.
30
Weasel wrapped his arms around Renee, holding her close. He didn’t want to ever let her go, and for them both to stay in this moment for the rest of their lives. Breathing in her scent, he closed his eyes, ignoring everything around them until it fell away.
Renee was now his bride, and he was determined to love her for the rest of his life. Vengeance had stopped by to see him and wanted to give him the warning talk. The talk that he imagined most brothers gave to the men who were marrying their sister.
“If you ever hurt her in any way, brother or not, I will hunt you down and make you wish for death long before I let you have it.”
It was a warning, and one he respected Vengeance for taking.
“I can’t believe we’re here, dancing … married,” she said.
He pulled away and smiled down at her. “Did you think I’d run?”
She giggled. “No, but I was tempted to,” she teased.
This wedding had been a hard one to put together, simply because of the worries he knew she felt.
Most men would begin to feel insecure about everything, concerned about settling down with only one woman. But Weasel didn’t think about any of that. He looked forward to this, and spending the rest of his life with the woman he loved. This life was hard, and he noticed that every time she experienced any doubts, it was around the time of a club party, when the whores came out to entertain the boys that wanted them. He was never going to stray.
The love of his life was in his arms, where she was supposed to stay.
>
“I couldn’t have run,” she said. “I know I’ve been a nightmare throughout this entire process, I really have, but, today was the best day of my life.”
“You know you could have a man worrying about his manhood,” he said.
She laughed. “You have no problem with your manhood, and you know it.”
Spinning her around, he held her tightly to him. “Maybe you need to show me how much you love it.”
Renee reached down and grasped his ass, giving it a squeeze. “Don’t tempt me.”
“Now that is fighting talk,” he said.
“I’m not talking, Weasel. You are. This is how I’m going to hold your ass later when you’re fucking me.” She kissed his neck, licking over his pulse. His cock hardened, and as he spun her around again, she moved her hands back to his waist. “What are you going to do to me later?”
“Oh, baby, I’m going to fuck you so hard, you’re not going to be able to walk straight for a couple of days.”
“That sounds like a really good promise.”
“It is, baby, It’s a really big promise.”
The song ended, but instead of lingering with the guests he took her hand and led her to the room he’d used while at the club.
“This is being really rude,” she said, but she sounded breathless.
He opened the door, pulled her inside, and closed it, pressing her against the wood. Taking hold of her hands, he pressed them above her head, staring into her eyes as he did so.
“What’s going on, Weasel?” she asked.
For several seconds he didn’t speak. He couldn’t—there were no words for him to use. “Now is your chance,” he said.