"I did," he said.
My heart absolutely hammered in my chest.
I let out a long sigh.
"Was that a bad choice?" he asked reluctantly.
"I thought it was Kade who wrote that this whole time."
He let out a little laugh on a breath. "It was me," he said. "I hope that wasn't overstepping. I just wanted you to know that—"
"It wasn't," I said. "Overstepping, I mean."
I took another breath, still pacing the bedroom absentmindedly.
"I don't want to get you in trouble with your girlfriend by calling you at midnight or saying this or anything, but that letter… Luke, it was, uh, really… special to me. It, uh, helped me in ways… (sigh) Anyway, I just wanted you to know that it helped me. I wanted to say thanks. I wish I would have known it was you who wrote it so I could've thanked you sooner."
"You're very welcome, Ivy. I meant all of it. You're a remarkable woman. It was difficult to see you hurting that day."
I saw something in the hall, and I looked up to find that my mom had come to check on me. I smiled at her and held out a finger to let her know I'd join them in a minute. She smiled and nodded, disappearing again.
"How did you know?" I asked. "How did you know what happened?"
"I went into your room to check on you, and I heard you talking to your friend. I didn't mean to listen to your conversation. I thought you had invited me into the room, and I was already inside before I realized you were talking to someone else. I felt really bad for listening. That's why I didn't sign the note."
I was quiet for several seconds, thinking about that note and all the things it said.
"That's why I assumed your note was from Kade," I said. "Because he was the only person I told."
I heard him take a breath. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I'm glad I figured it out. It's actually a relief. I knew something didn't add up. The Kade I know wasn't the same Kade who wrote that letter."
"You're right about that," he said with a laugh.
"I tried to love him," I said.
I did my best to stop myself from saying that, but the words just came out without my permission. I was wrecked with nerves, and it just came out. I almost physically choked when I said it. The words literally got stuck in my throat.
"You what?" he asked.
"Love him," I said. "I tried to love Kade. I was so moved by the note that I tried to see him like that."
"What? Are you messing with me, Ivy?"
"No, I'm not. I'm serious. I thought it was Kade who wrote it, and I tried to fall in love with him because of it."
"You're kidding me."
"No, I'm not."
"Are you seeing him now?"
"No," I said. "Like I said, the Kade I know wasn't the same Kade who wrote that letter. As much as I tried to imagine he was, he just wasn't."
He let out a long sigh like he was a tire being deflated. "Thank God, Ivy. Because I seriously don't know what I would do if you were calling me right now telling me that you were with in love with some guy because of a note I wrote. I'm already tripped out enough that you're calling in the first place. You're the last person on Earth I expected to hear from tonight."
"I just found out you won that contest," I said. "I saw the contract sitting on Doozy's desk. That's how I knew it was you. I saw the handwriting."
"Oh, my gosh, are you serious?"
"Yes."
"That's unbelievable."
"It is to me, too."
"I can't believe you recognized the handwriting."
"I can't believe you wrote that letter."
We were both quiet for a few long seconds.
"Congratulations on winning that contest, by the way," I added. "Doozy said you designed a nice bike."
"Thank you," he said. "It's definitely a dream come true. They should be out next winter."
"I'm gonna have to get one," I said.
"You'd look good on that MT."
His words caused a gut-clenching sensation to happen inside me.
"You shouldn't give me those types of compliments," I said.
"Why not? You would look good on it. It's just a fact."
"But your girlfriend might not be too happy about you stating such a fact."
"That's the second time you mentioned my nonexistent girlfriend, Ivy. You better be careful. I'm gonna start thinking you don't want me to have one."
I had to bite my lip to keep myself from giggling. I stopped in my tracks and my toes curled as I stared at the floor.
"I don't… you… I thought you… what happened to your, that girl you were dating. I thought you were dating someone."
"We broke up about a year ago. I've dated like three other girls since her, but none of them…"
"What? None of them what?"
"None of them worked out."
"Oh. That's good. I mean, not that there were three girls, but that there aren't… anymore girls."
"Why do you care so much about my love life, Ivy?"
"Because I do," I said, since I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
"Hang on one second. Just go ahead," he said, talking to someone else. "Just play without me. I don't know. Five minutes. Maybe an hour. I'm on the phone. Okay, I'm back," he said, talking to me again.
"I don't mean to keep you," I said.
"You don't?"
"No. Do you need to go?"
"What I need, is to continue having this conversation with you," he said.
"You do?"
"Yes, I do. I'm still waiting for you to tell me why you keep asking about my girlfriend."
"Because I don't want you to have one," I said. "Is that what you want to hear?"
"Yes, it is," he said. "Is it the truth? Or are you just telling me what I want to hear?"
"I'm the one who called you, Luke. I'm the one who hasn't been able to breathe or think straight since I saw that handwriting on my granddad's desk. When you were here, I, I had such a good time with you. I liked you so much, but I had just started dating Derek and I knew that… I don't know. You had a girlfriend, too. Neither of us could really… But I saw you like that. I really did. I felt something. I was tempted to… I don't know. Maybe it was just me, but I feel like things would've been different if we weren't… I liked you, Luke. If I would have known it was you who wrote that note, things might have turned out a lot different."
He let out a long, frustrated sigh—one with a groan attached to it. I could imagine him rubbing his face with his hand.
"Well, now you know it," he said. "I wrote it. I meant it. And I felt something for you, too, Ivy. Why do you think I left her when I got back here? Even though nothing happened between us, I felt guilty because of how much I wanted it to. I left a piece of my heart over there in Memphis."
"You left a piece of paper here, too," I said. "Only you didn't sign your name on it so I had no idea who it belonged to."
"Something I really regret, in hindsight."
"You should really come pick it up," I said.
It was a straight-up proposition, a shameless proposition, and my heart was beating so fast it felt like it might explode.
"The piece of paper, or my heart?" he asked.
"Neither one," I said breathlessly. "I regret saying that. I don't think I would give either of them back."
"Then, why should I come? Sounds like a wasted trip if you're not gonna give me the goods you promised."
"I probably shouldn't have said you should come pick it up. That was the wrong thing for me to offer. I should have phrased it more carefully. I should have said you could come bring me the rest of it."
He cleared his throat. "I'm fairly certain you're not referring to the piece of paper right now."
"No, I'm not."
There was a long pause.
"Tell me what you're saying, Ivy. Say it in plain English."
My heart pounded so relentlessly that I thought it might burst.
"I want to see you, Luke. Reall
y bad. I wish you were standing in the same room with me right now. I'm frustrated that there's a whole ocean between us."
"I don't even know what to say," he said. "Who am I talking to? Is this really Ivy Bishop? The girl from Memphis? I feel like I'm trippin' right now."
"How do you think I feel? I've been in love with a note for over year, and now I find out that I already kinda liked the guy who wrote it."
He laughed. "If I come over there, Ivy. I just want to give you a fair warning that I'm probably not gonna wanna just be your friend."
"That's good, Luke, because a friendship's not really what I'm offering you."
Chapter 13
I was still in the guest bedroom, talking to Luke on the phone when Kip ran in, followed by Cora. She was chasing him with a plastic hammer, and he ran in, screaming.
Once he was fully in the room, he turned and clinched his fists, yelling at her to, "Stoooop!" His fists were clinched and he leaned forward when he yelled, looking like a roaring bear who was standing his ground.
Startled by his sudden anger, Cora flinched and made a pouty face. Her chin quivered, and her face crumpled, and Courtney appeared in the doorway just in time to see Cora's pitiful face turn toward her.
"What in the world?" she said, stooping over to pick up Cora. "Kip what did you do to your cousin?"
"Nothin', " he said. "She was de one chasin' me wif du hamma."
Courtney looked at me, and I nodded, confirming Kip's story. "He yelled for her to stop, and I think it scared her," I said.
Courtney noticed that I had my phone to my ear, and she apologized for their intrusion. "Y'all let Aunt Ivy have some peace and quiet in here," she said, ushering them out.
"I'll be out in a minute," I told her. "Sorry," I said, once they walked out.
"Sounds like you have a lot going on over there."
"It was the kids," I said. "We're over here eating dinner at Shug and Doozy's. Cora came in, chasing Kip with a hammer."
He laughed. "Never a dull moment," he said.
"Nope."
"I bet they're getting big."
"They are," I said. "Babies everywhere. And Shelby's pregnant again. Jolene, too, but I guess you knew that already."
"Yeah. She wasn't showing when I saw her, but she said she's starting to now. Crazy to think that I'm gonna have a little niece or nephew."
"I know," I said. I had to stop myself from saying that he already had six of them and two more on the way, but then I realized that he didn't. Not yet, at least. I was instinctually assuming he was already mine and that my family was his family. So, funny. I really did feel like Luke already belonged with me—like he was already a part of me, and my heart knew it long before my brain did. I had a flashback of him wearing that Bishop hoodie. I remembered feeling like he was already a Bishop. I just didn’t understand, at that point, that he was supposed to be linked through me. I felt a wave of excitement and anticipation because of it. I really couldn’t wait to see him again.
We had already been on the phone for about a half an hour, and I knew both of us needed to get back to what we were doing before I called. I couldn’t, however, let him go without making some concrete plans.
"When do you think you can come?" I asked.
"I was just trying to think about that," he said. "I've got a restoration starting next week. The customer specifically asked for me to oversee it. But after I get it started, I think I should be able to—"
"That's too long," I said cutting him off. "I thought you were gonna say tomorrow—tonight even."
He let out a little laugh like he thought I might be joking, and my heart felt like it was breaking. I was completely unable to be patient about this, and I was amazed and probably a little heartbroken that he, apparently, had all the patience in the world.
Both of us were quiet for a few seconds, and then he said, "Were you being serious?"
"Yes," I said, my heart pounding. In the back of my mind, I knew how selfish it was of me to assume that he could just drop everything and take a spur of the moment trip to another continent, but I rarely paid attention to the back of my mind. It was the front of my mind that was telling me I needed to see him now. Even tomorrow felt like too long, much less days or weeks.
"If you can't come here sooner than that, I'm going there."
"You have even more responsibilities than I do, Ivy."
(Just before the kids had barged into the room, Luke and I were talking about my work at the nonprofit, so he knew how busy I had been lately.)
I honestly didn't care about my responsibilities—that's how desperate I was to see him. I knew someone would step up to pick up my slack if I had to take off for a few days.
"I don't care," I said. "Someone will cover for me."
"Ivy, are you that anxious to see me?" he asked.
"Yes, Luke, I am."
I didn't care that I sounded desperate.
I was desperate.
Talking to him and hearing his voice made me absolutely yearn to see him. I ached for it. Knowing that he was the one who wrote the letter had me beside myself, and remembering how attracted I was to him didn't help matters.
I had to see him.
I felt like I needed to leave that instant.
He took a deep breath. "Ivy this is all so… I mean, I didn't even expect to hear from you tonight, let alone find out that you want to see me."
"I'm sorry if it feels like I'm rushing you. I'm not trying to—"
"No. Don't apologize. I just had no idea that I'd be having this conversation."
"I didn't either," I said. "But here we are."
"Yep. Here we are."
"Do you want to see me, Luke?"
A few seconds of silence passed.
"More than I can say, Ivy."
I could hear the sincerity in his tone, and I felt a weight off my chest because of it.
"I want to see you, too. I can't wait, though, Luke. If you need to stay and work or whatever, then I'll go to you. I don't want to wait another week. I'll go to London."
Again, Luke was quiet on the other end.
"Luke?"
"Ivy, I feel like I'm dreaming right now, or maybe I'm crazy. Do you seriously want to see me bad enough to drop everything and come over here?"
"I will leave here and go to the airport," I said.
"Oh, Ivy." His deep voice came out unsteady. "You're making my heart… I can't even tell you how much I… Ivy, I'll come there. I'll come to you. Amos and Randall can cover for me at work. Just say the word, and I'll go to my apartment and—"
"The word," I said, not needing to hear any more. "I'm saying it. Whatever words you need to hear, I'm saying them. Drop everything, Luke. Get here. Do it as fast as you can, please."
"Okay," he said resolutely. "Let me see what I can do. I'll call you back in just a little bit."
"Tonight?" I asked.
"Yes, tonight," he said, amusement in his voice.
"Okay," I said.
I wanted so badly to tell him I loved him. The words were on the very tip of my tongue, and I had to make myself hold them back. I knew in my heart that I loved him, and it took all of my self-control to refrain from telling him.
"Okay, so I'll talk to you in a little bit."
"Okay," I repeated. "But you're coming, right?"
"Yes, Ivy, I'm coming." I still heard that smile in his voice, and I imagined what he looked like. I could see him on a London sidewalk, outside a pub, holding his phone to his ear and smiling. He was smiling because of me, and I felt all warm and fuzzy because of it.
"I like you, Luke," I said, since I couldn't let myself say the other "L" word even though I really wanted to.
"Good, because I’m about to fly across the world to come see you."
I was so elated by his words that I stood next to the bed and collapsed onto it, landing flat on my back. I scrunched up my face, feeling as though I needed to let out a silent scream.
"What was that?" he asked, hearing the whooshin
g sounds of my collapse.
"Nothing," I said. "I was just sitting down."
"I'll call you in a little while," he said.
"Okay. Bye."
"Bye, Ivy."
I could hear that same smile in his voice when he said it, and it caused a wave of love and desire to crash over me.
I hung up my phone, but right after I did, I let out a squeal of delight, shivering at the thought that I would see him soon. I was lying flat on my back on Shug's guest bed when I did that, so I didn't see anyone standing at the door.
It was Doozy, but I didn't know it until he said, "You okay?"
"Yes sir," I said, sitting straight up.
Try as I might, I could not wipe a huge grin off of my face.
"Looks like you got some good news," he said, smiling back at me.
"I did."
"Somethin' you wanna share?"
"Luke's coming."
He pulled back, regarding me with a somewhat confused look. "Luke?"
I nodded.
"You mean the same boy from London? The one from the contest?"
"He's not a boy, Doozy." I tried, but I literally could not stop smiling.
"Ohhhh, no," he said, giving me a sideways glance.
My smile grew even bigger when he said that, and I put my fists in front of my face to hide it.
"Did you come in here and call him when I told you he won that contest?"
I nodded. "But not because he won. I mean, I'm happy that he won, but that's not why I called him."
"And you say he's coming to Memphis?"
I nodded.
He tilted his head at me. "To visit or to stay?"
I shrugged and shook my head. "I have no idea. To stay, I hope. I don't know. I just asked him to get on a plane, and he said he would. That's as far as we got."
Doozy made a thoughtful expression as if he was really trying to analyze what I was saying. I could tell his wheels were really turning.
"I was just remembering… I don't know if it means anything, but after the contest was over, Jack told me that boy had originally turned in the bike designs as the Ace and the Ivy. Jack had to call him and get him to rename them because we've already had an Ivy model, back in the sixties. Plus, Jack thought he was trying to get my vote by naming his bike after my wife. They settled on the LT and MT before we ever looked at them. I didn't even know any of that happened until the contest was over and Jack told me that story."
Something Lovely Page 9