by T. Rudacille
***
The guards were formerly of Earth, and they were nothing compared to us. It was newly morning, and they were exhausted from having kept watch over the entrance to the bunker all night. One proclaimed, in a thick Southern accent that is pretty much the stereotype for religious zealots like the Old Spirits, that he renounced Satan, and we would be struck down by Gawd! Alice just whacked him over the head and took his gun, before looking at me with a puzzled expression on her face.
“You know, the Old Spirits don’t believe in my version of God.”
Don pocketed a knife and two handguns, and Alice slung an assault rifle, a bow, and a quiver of arrows over her shoulder, and hung a long machete from her belt, while I took the assault rifle with the scope and a bowie knife. We also took their water canteens, which were full, thank God, and their small backpack of snacks, which I carried on my back.
“Of course they don’t believe in your version of God, baby.” I said as we clasped hands and continued to walk ahead of Don, who was walking along slowly in our wake, muttering to himself about how he hated trees, animals, dirt, rain, humidity, and Pangaea, but not really on the last one…
“If you believed in what they believe, you’d be insufferable.”
“You wouldn’t date me if I wanted to become an Old Spirit?”
I looked at her, and she was smiling, the sunlight reflecting brightly back at me in her eyes and off of the few pieces of blonde hair it could find among all the bloody pieces. Even like that, she was so beautiful, and I was still so pumped up from the adrenaline that I had needed to fight, and the excitement I felt at being free, and the euphoria I felt at feeling that warm sunshine and smelling that beautiful, crisp Pangaean air.
“Nah.” I said, “Well, maybe. You’re cute. I don’t know if I could resist.”
She giggled, and behind us, I heard Don sigh heavily in irritation.
“Shut up.” We both snapped at him simultaneously.
Throughout the day, we alternated between running for long stretches and walking quickly for longer stretches. The three of us were determined to get as far away as possible, but the more space we put between us and the bunker, the more we couldn’t stop asking ourselves, who had we left behind? What were we leaving them behind to face? Were Violet and Nick back there? Was Penny? Brynna was on the Lapsarian, James was gone, and Adam and Janna were God knew where, but what did we care about them? Quietly, we talked, both of us trying to speak the words of comfort that would soothe both of our minds. Violet was strong, and she and Nick would find their way out of there. Penny was more than likely with them. Brynna was the strongest of us all, and despite the fact that she had lost James, she would survive until we could find her.
“God, James is gone, Quinn.” She whispered to me as we laid, cuddled together to protect each other from the cold Pangaean night. We were in a clearing where when we looked up, we could see the stars and the huge, watchful moon. We were facing each other, bathed in the cold light of that moon, and tears were falling from her eyes into the dirt, causing a puddle to begin forming between us. I kissed her quickly and wiped her tears away, feeling my own throat clench and tears rush into my eyes, too.
“How can he be gone?” She asked me softly, and I pulled her closer to me so I could hold her tightly and rub her back. “He’s been here pretty much every day since we got here. I can’t imagine him not being here anymore.”
“I know, baby.”
“They loved each other so much. Do you remember how they used to be wrapped around each other all the time? Whenever they thought we weren’t looking, they were kissing, or she was touching his face, or he was pushing her hair back. And God, how many times did we walk in on them making out in the kitchen, or just holding each other? I always thought, ‘That’s how I want Quinn and me to be. I want us to be like that when we’re older,’ because even though Brynn is only a few years older than us, she seems so much older, you know? I wanted us to be just like them.”
“Yeah.” I said, and because she couldn’t see me, I allowed a tear to fall from each of my eyes. I tried to sniffle discreetly, and I don’t think that she heard me. “I did, too. Now that you mention it, I remember thinking the same thing. They were so happy.”
“I just wish we were with her right now.”
“She wouldn’t show any of it to us. She would only be trying to get us through it.”
“God, I know. Brynnie… Poor Brynnie. She’d hate it if she knew how bad I feel for her. But God, I feel bad for her. I can’t imagine if I lost you, and he was everything to her.” She pulled away from me, “Not that you’re not everything to me, but he was the first stable person she ever had in her life, and he was the first man who ever treated her right…”
“I know what you mean, baby.” I kissed her forehead, “Don’t worry about it. I know exactly what you mean. Look at how much she changed over the past two years. She loved him, and it made her nicer. It made her kinder, you know? She was so happy. And James… We all know he was better because of her. He had his flaws, and he was still one of the greatest guys I’ve ever known. Besides my dad, I think he might have been the greatest guy I ever knew. And they killed him.”
“Yeah.” Alice sat up, and I watched in the light of the moon as red began to swirl into her eyes. “Those motherfuckers!” She spat, and in her heart, I felt the sudden rise of her fury, and it instantly provoked me to feel it, too. “How could they hurt him? He was so kind; he would have done anything for us. We were his family, and he loved us so much. He was like our dad here, Quinn.”
“I know. The worst thing is, how many people’s dads have they killed? How many people’s boyfriends or husbands have they killed? We’re not special, and neither is Brynn. I hate that I always think about the bigger meaning of these things, when I just want to look at this as the worst thing that has ever happened, and that it’s unique to us, but it’s not. I also hate that every time they hit us, and we survive it by the skin of our teeth, I can’t help but wonder how anyone can be so evil, and how we can be so stupid to let them keep living?”
“Baby, I think all the same things.” She told me, and she reached over and took my hand. “So we’re going to take control of it now. We’re going to change all of that. Remember when Brynn was missing, and I said that we were going to do something to stop them? Well, now is our chance. The Red Anarchy is done.”
“Don’t say that.”
“What, The Red Anarchy? I thought you liked that name.”
“No, not the name. Don’t count us out yet. We don’t know how many people actually escaped.”
“Everyone who escaped the village went to the bunker.”
“Well the people who didn’t escape might have caused an uprising.” I reasoned, “They might have taken the village back, or at the very least, they might have taken off into the woods.”
“Or they’re all dead, Quinn. But look, James told me that there are other places on Pangaea that are on Adam’s side. He named this place called Del Mar. Obviously, it’s by the sea. If Brynnie is on the Lapsarian, then we need to go there. We need to get as close to the sea as we can.”
“Allie, this planet is huge. It’s bigger than four of Earth. We don’t know where this place is or how to get there, and God knows that the Great and Powerful Douche back there probably doesn’t know…”
“I actually do know the way to Del Mar.” Don called to us, “Yeah. I’m not sleeping, and I have enhanced hearing. I heard you.” He turned on his side so he could talk to us, “Del Mar is sympathetic to Adam, but considering that Adam is God knows where, who knows how they’ll receive us? There are plenty of cities here on Purissimus, big ones and small ones, and regardless of which way we went, we would be traveling through all kinds of natural hells, from tundras to deserts to caves. It’s a long, long road to Del Mar, and it is a dangerous one. If you think the Old Spirits are dangerous, and if you thought we were dangerous, you don’t even want to know about the Unallied.”
�
�The who?” Alice and I asked, with equal skepticism and impatience.
“The Unallied. The ones who aren’t joined with either Adam or Tyre. They’re all along the way from here to Del Mar. In fact, they might have taken over most of the places between here and there, for all we know. You think it would be bad if we encountered the Old Spirits on the way? At least they all have to answer to someone. The Unallied don’t answer to anyone, and they travel in packs. They steal from and kill anyone who isn’t in one of their packs.”
“So what do you suggest, Don? That we stay in Shadow Forest and wait for the trebestia or Shadows or Reapers or starvation to kill us? We have to do something!” Alice exclaimed, “We have to start trying to get people together to hit the Old Spirits back. Our people are out there. They have to be!”
“Or they’re all captured back in the village or in the bunker.” Don said, “That bunker is huge, who knows how many of our people they have there? They’re as good as dead, or they’re as good as enslaved, as good as brainwashed. There’s nothing we can do. You’re right, Alice: the Red Anarchy is dead.”
“No!” She exclaimed, “I did say that, but you will not say that! They are your people, Don! Yours and Brynna’s and Adam’s and Janna’s! God only knows where Adam and Janna are, or even if they’re still alive, but Brynna is out there, and she is being kept away from us, but you can bet your ass that if your places were reversed, she would be fighting tooth and nail to get our people out of harm’s way. She wouldn’t be whining about some road gangs, and going from tundras to caves to freaking volcanos or whatever the hell you’re whining about! She wouldn’t care about the danger! She would be trying to gather together a resistance to save our people! And what are you doing? You’re sniveling on the ground like a little bitch, trying to save your own skin! What kind of a leader are you?! What were you ever doing trying to lead us?!”
“I am the kind of leader who stays alive!” He shouted, and he rose onto his feet and stormed towards us. Alice stood, too, her fangs out, her eyes blazing, “And she is the kind of leader who is eventually shot in the back of the head, or flayed alive, or hanged in front of all her people! Or left to the elements to be pecked apart by crows! She is the kind of leader who is killed, because she stupidly puts herself in harm’s way for the sake of some stupid suicide sacrifice mission! It’s noble, I grant you! But if one measures the stupidity or sanity of choices by whether or not you’ll stay alive, which, mind you, is the only measure of stupidity or sanity that matters, then her choice is stupid, and she wouldn’t last three days out here. I am going to survive. I am going to pull us out of this. I just need time to figure out how. I need time to let the dust settle, to wait for them to drop their guard, and then, I will do what I can.”
“And what are you going to do until then?” I snapped, “Sit on your ass and hope they don’t slaughter every man, woman, and child you were responsible for?”
“I am going to sit and… and… plan.”
It happened so quickly that I actually gasped out loud, but Alice brought back her fist and punched him so hard in the face that he stumbled at least fifteen steps backwards, tripped over a fallen log, and collapsed onto the ground.
“You will never call yourself our leader ever again!” She screamed, and I had never seen her so enraged. Tears were pouring from her eyes, but they were tears of absolute fury, I thought. But when she continued, I knew that while she was certainly furious beyond anything she had felt for a long, long time, if not ever, she was also so sad and so frustrated by how unfair it all was. She was storming towards him, and I was holding her back, but she was pulling me along with her as she charged him.
“You will never stand above us again and say you are in charge, do you understand me?! You are free, and she is locked away, and the love of her life is dead, and she would still be fighting! She would still be trying to save our people! She is worth fifty of you! One hundred of you! You son of a bitch! You ran away! You tried to escape! You left your people to suffer!”
He was on his feet, and she threw my arm aside so she could shove him hard in the chest.
“She would be fighting for them, and you are out here cowering in the woods, trying to save your own life! You don’t care about them! You will never be our leader again. Everyone will know what you have done, you coward! You son of a bitch!”
If her punch had happened suddenly, his sudden siege of the ground beneath us was even more abrupt. Beneath our feet, the ground rattled and split, and we dove out of the way as the two sides of the cracked earth began to rise sharply.
“Enough!” He shouted at her, and just as quickly, he shut down the earthquake he had made before he ripped the forest apart. He stormed towards her, grabbed her arms, and pulled her onto her feet. Her expression of rage did not dissolve into one of fear; instead the red of her eyes deepened and she roared at him, causing the sleeping birds in the trees above us to take flight. Her roar choked off midway through, though, because his hand grasped her throat.
I was the one roaring now, ready to rip off his head for even grabbing her arms, let alone her throat. But he reached back with one hand and sent a whirlwind of air in my direction that was so forceful, I was picked up off of my feet and slammed into a tree.
“I will always be your leader.” He hissed in her face, “They will always revere me, because I am so powerful, and because I saved them from Mary and Richard Bachum three years ago. I led them onto the right side of the Almighty Split. I might as well have parted the sea. I might as well have raised the dead, healed the sick, and turned water into wine, because I saved them. They would have died under Daniel Olivier’s rule if I hadn’t led them to safety, or they would have been publicly executed by Tyre. I gave them their lives, and they will never forget that, and if they try to forget it, all I have to do is show them just how powerful my gift is, how easily I can tear this world apart, and they will drop to their knees and worship me. So shut your ignorant mouth and go to bed, little girl.”
He dropped his hold on her, and she began to follow him, but I sent a whirlwind of air in her direction now to hold her back until I could reach her.
“Leave him.” I whispered, “We’ll get him later. We’ll get him, I promise.” I kissed her forehead, “Just leave him for now.”
“You can try!” Don shot at us, “Enhanced hearing, you moronic children! I can hear you two plotting, and let me just tell you that…”
A rustling in the bushes cut him off, and simultaneously, our heads turned in the direction of the movement and the sound, and our eyes changed over from red to white. Alice and I walked forward to stand beside him, because though we were currently in a fight with him, and I had just threatened his life by saying that we would wait and then try to kill him, we had to band together against the external threats. Internal disputes could wait.
Alice smelled the air deeply.
“People from the Old Spirit camp.” She proclaimed, “They’ve always been Old Spirits. They’re not us. They were never with us. But they’re injured and sick. Really sick.”
In a blur, she was gone.
“Allie!” I exclaimed, and in a blur of my own, I took off after her. We both stopped simultaneously when we found the source of the noise: A man, barely standing upright, was walking a woman along with great difficulty. Her face was barely recognizable because of the bruises, swelling, and cuts. Her bone-thin arm was around his neck, and he was holding onto it with one hand. His other arm was wrapped around her middle, and I almost shuddered visibly when I saw that her waist was so emaciated that my fingers would come within six inches of touching if I wrapped my hands around it. He was sweating barely, even though he was breathing heavily, and despite the fact that he was obviously so exhausted, and so sick, his piercing blue eyes were wide and alert, looking in between the three of us, making it clear that he would strike out at us if we tried to come towards them.
“It’s alright.” Alice said softly, “Sir, it’s okay. We’re not Old Spirits.
We’re formerly Red Anarchy.”
“You’re Unallied now.”
“No.” Don said emphatically, “We are still loyal to King Adam, the one and only King of Purissimus.”
“My wife needs water.” He said, “Do you have water?”
“We were camped near a stream.” Alice offered gently, “We can take you there.”
“Back that way?” He gestured with his head back the way we had come.
“Yes.”
“Too close to the bunker.”
“We’re miles from the bunker.” Don said.
“I need to get her out of these woods.” The man said, “Away from them. There are inns along the road. I don’t have money, but I can work. Once I sleep, and once I eat something, I can work. I just need to get her someplace safe. Someplace where I can put her in a warm bed, and get her food and water...”
“Okay.” Alice said, and she nodded reassuringly, “You’re right.”
“They’re not going to let you work for a room.” Don said, “If you’re lucky enough to stumble into an Inn that’s kind to Old Spirits, she’s going to be your payment.”
“Don!” I hissed at him furiously, but I was not nearly as furious as the man, who had suddenly pulled a knife from his belt and walked forward. Despite his exhaustion, he had found some pocket of remaining strength to lift his wife with one arm and carry her with him as she rushed towards Don.
“You shut your fucking mouth.” He spat, holding the knife in Don’s face, “Shut the fuck up right now, do you hear me? No one is going to touch her!”
His wife moaned softly, and he pocketed the knife so he could try to lift her body so it was cradled in his arms, but both of his arms began to tremble violently, and he was forced to put her back down. He bent down, pressed his shoulder lightly into her stomach to lift her that way, over his shoulder, but when she gave a loud wail of pain and weakly moaned his name, which was John, he exhaled deeply, his heart screaming how much he hated himself for being unable to keep going, how he hated his body for breaking down, how helpless he felt, how much he loved her…
“John.” Alice said softly, and she reached out quickly to gently grasp his wrist when he went to grab his knife again, “John, my name is Alice. This is my boyfriend, Quinn. This is our totally awful leader, Don.”
Don rolled his eyes but said nothing.
“What’s your wife’s name?” Alice asked.
He didn’t answer but instead looked between the three of us suspiciously, with murder in his eyes. He would kill any one of us if we tried to hurt either one of them but her, especially.
“Alright.” Alice said, “It’s alright, John. I know that if we go back this way, we’re closer to the bunker, but believe me, John, we’re still really, really far away, and they’re after us, too, okay? So we’re just as invested in keeping away from there as you are. We’re watching out for any signs of them, too, because we don’t want to be brought back there after we’ve come so far. Now, listen… We have some food back at our camp, and we just refilled our water bottles in the stream. Come with us, and we’ll keep watch while you eat, drink some water, and rest, okay? You can trust us, John. We’re running from them, too.”
“Allie…” I started to say.
“No, Quinn!” She snapped, “They’re fine. They’re like us. They’re running away, just like us.”
His eyes, though alert, were unhinged, ablaze with murderous rage. He would hack us all to pieces with that knife if he perceived even the slightest threat from us. He was animal, one hundred percent. They had only just escaped, but his wife was so terribly injured, and if they were captured again, it would only take one more beating before they killed her. I pictured me in his position, carrying Alice along, knowing she was so sick, and in so much pain. A shudder did pass through me, because I knew that I would be just as animalistic. I would protect her just as savagely.
“John…” Alice moved her hand from his wrist to his hand, “You can trust us. I promise.”
It took him several seconds, because he was looking at his wife, whose breathing was labored now, coming in and out in deep, slow breaths that seemed to hurt her terribly, but he nodded and allowed Alice to lead him back to our clearing.
Once there, he kneeled in the dirt, cradling his wife’s frail body to his chest now, tilting her head back so he could very carefully pour water into her mouth. Alice was in front of them, pouring some water onto a handkerchief we had found in one of the backpacks. Very gently, and only after looking up at John to make sure that it was alright, she pressed the handkerchief soaked through with that cold river water to the side of his wife’s face that was most swollen, and she gave an audible sigh of relief. Alice smiled, and John actually laughed softly and looked up at her.
“She likes that.” He whispered to Alice gratefully, “She’s been in so much pain. She can’t sleep, because she hurts so much.”
“I can fix that. My best friend worked in Medical, under the best doctor on all of Pangaea. I can help her. Okay?”
He nodded and looked up at her, smiling very slightly now. Alice looked up at him, smiling, too.
“That’s a leader, Don.” I said, because suddenly, I realized that potential in her, and suddenly, I was kicking myself for never having realized it before. “Why don’t you take some notes?”
“Where were you from on Earth, John?” She asked him softly.
“Indianapolis.”
“Was she from Indianapolis, too?”
“No. She was from Washington.”
“State or D.C?”
“D.C. I forgot that you had to specify. Been a long time.”
“Yeah.” She said with a laugh, “How long have you two been married?”
“Not long. We just did it here. But we’ve been together for a long time. Since long before we came here. Almost twenty-five years on Earth.”
“Wow.” She said, and she laughed softly, “That’s impressive.”
“It definitely didn’t impress them. We were ‘too passionate.’ They passed her around. They hurt her. Relentlessly.” He pulled his wife to him and kissed her forehead, and she whispered his name. “I’m here, sweetheart. I’m right here.”
“The Elixir is just starting to bloom, and if there is water, there generally is a bush of it nearby. Do you know Elixir?” She asked him, and he shook his head.
“If I can find enough, I can heal her completely. It heals internal and external injuries flawlessly. Even if I find a little bit, it will help. Can I go find some for her?”
He nodded.
“You’ll let me give it to her?”
He nodded, and when he spoke next, he whispered so softly that I could barely hear him.
“Your heart… is so pure, Alice. It is so kind. We’re not supposed to let ourselves see into other people’s hearts, but I can see into yours. I can see that you only want to help us. So, yes, I will let you give her whatever you think will help.”
“Alright. I’ll go find some Elixir, and we’ll get your wife patched up in no time, okay?” Alice said, and she went to stand up, but he grasped her hand.
“Lara.” He said softly, “Her name is Lara. Lara Olivier.”
Violet
Before I knew Adam, before I had gotten used to his piercing, freakishly green gaze, I would shrivel under it, especially when he was not just gazing, but when he was smiling that tiny fraction of a smile, that smile that showed there was something devious within him. How could I not shrivel when I was faced with his power, his arrogance, and the wickedness that lay just beneath the surface of it all? But I had seen his love for my sister soften him, and I had known, before their violent falling out, that he would have protected me just as violently as he would have protected her.
But when I stood in front of Caspar, staring into his gaze that was identical to his father’s, I felt an identical sense of discomfort, like he was staring straight through my eyes into my heart and mind. I could feel the split; as his gaze came in, it jer
ked painfully upwards to my brain and painfully down to my heart, traveling quickly until it detonated upon its two separate targets. But I forced myself to stand up tall, to look back into his eyes without the slightest faltering. If I showed that I was nervous, he would know why I was there. He would be able to discern that my sole reason for wanting to speak to him was because I wanted to escape.
“So, you want to escape?” He asked, and that fraction of a smile that was also identical to his father’s widened.
Either I was not standing as confidently as I had thought I was, or he really was better at reading hearts and minds than Athenes and Ares combined.
“No.” I said.
“Don’t lie to me, Violet. It is embarrassing for you. Besides, maybe I want to help.”
“You don’t.”
“I do. This is no place for you or your new best friend, Lucy. Now Lucy’s daughter, on the other hand… She is mine. She was given to me.”
My stomach plummeted, and as I looked at him, I wondered how I ever could have trusted him, how I ever could have allowed myself to tell him all the things I had told him. I had weakened myself by being so honest with him, and I had weakened Brynna. Granted, he had weakened his father by showing how devoted he was to Brynna, but Caspar knew all of our secrets. I didn’t know half of his or half of his mother and father’s.
But really, was there a secret more dangerous to Adam than the depth of his devotion to my sister? It didn’t matter, because Caspar had betrayed his father and joined the other side, and I was still technically on Adam’s side, so it didn’t matter to me what weakened Adam. I needed to know Caspar’s weaknesses, and besides his tense relationship with his father, I knew none of them, and what good was knowing about his tense relationship with Adam now that he had joined the other side? He had beaten him.
“Where are your parents?” I asked him, because I did not want to know too much about his new marriage to Dr. Miletus’s daughter. She was my age, and though I had briefly entertained the idea of a relationship with him, Illa Miletus was nothing like me. She was so quiet and meek, and I could not imagine what cruelty he would be able to inflict upon her without her being able to do or say anything about it. As far as I knew, she had never had a boyfriend, and now she was married to Caspar, who hated her mother and would take that hatred out on her in any way he could.
“Oh, King Adam and Queen Janna are with your sister, Violet.” He answered me, “And shall I pass along your congratulations to the happy couples? Queen Janna is no longer Queen; she is merely the widow of James Maxwell, a lowly commoner whose punishment was so brutal that it deserves a place amongst the Old Spirit legends. As for your sister, if my father still had his royal standing, it would be said that as of several nights ago, the reign of King Adam and Queen Brynna began.”
They had no royal standing under the Old Spirit rule, but God, hearing that gave me pause. I couldn’t believe that my sister was married to Adam, a man who despised her and whom she was growing steadily to hate, and that she was married to him when James had only just died, and that Janna had been married off to James before. It was all so messed up, so cruel. But hearing that my sister was Queen… I couldn’t quite discern how that made me feel.
“So, congratulations, if your bastardized family were standing, you would be a ‘princess,’ and isn’t that what you Earthean American girls always wanted? The glass slipper? The ball that ends at midnight? True love’s first kiss?”
“You seem to know quite a bit about what princesses want, Caspar.” I said, “So they tortured your mother?”
“They did. Something my father should have done. It would have kept her in line. And just think: if he had kept her in line, she never would have slithered between James Maxwell’s legs, and then, your darling sister never would have had her heart broken by him. Of course, if your sister were not such an icy bitch, he never would have sought out my mother.”
“First of all, he didn’t seek out your mother, she sought him out, because she was on the war-path after your father showed just how badly he wanted Brynna. She also screwed my brother. Did you know that?”
He didn’t say anything.
“You love her, Caspar. How can you talk about what they did to her like that?”
“Because I just do not care. She allowed my father to exile me from their lives for so long. Whenever he deigned to come to the Village, I was immediately put out with the dogs, because he could not stand to see me. When I was a small boy, I was hidden away from him, because he could not stand the sight of his first-born son. Once Idan was born, he truly had no purpose for me. He had a successor to his thrown, if ever he were killed. And he will be killed. I promise you, Violet Olivier, that my face will be the last that my father sees. I will drive a poisoned blade just beside his heart, so that he does not die quickly but so that he feels the awful pain. And that agony will persist as the poison courses through him. I will sit beside him, and perhaps I will have the antidote just within his reach, but I will sit beside him and watch him die. My hatred of that man is resounding, and he will know it.”
How could I possibly be pitying him? Maybe it was because he was no longer looking at me. Maybe it was because I could hear, very, very slightly, the emotion in his voice. Maybe it was because every time I heard him speak about his father’s rejection of him, I thought of my own father. Caspar had done terrible things to Dr. Miletus, he had talked me into doing terrible things to her, he had joined up with the Old Spirits, he had betrayed us all, and I was pitying him!
“But your mother loves you, Caspar.” I reasoned, “She was so proud of you. Don’t you remember that? I saw it, whenever we went by your house. She lit up at the sight of you. How can you talk about her like this? How can you know what they did to her and not want to kill them for it?”
He was silent.
“Caspar… If you help me get out of here, I will do everything I can to find her. I will find the Lapsarian, and I will get her back. Okay?”
“I could get her back tomorrow if I commanded it. They do what I say, and I could…”
“But you can’t. You can’t show any loyalty to her, not when she is so enmeshed in their master plan to make Adam miserable. But I can find her. I can take her from them so they can’t hurt her anymore. All you have to do is help me. I need your help.”
“So, what? I set you, Lucy, Lucy’s crazed wife, and my untouched Illa free, and then the four of you hunt down the Lapsarian, which, just so you are totally aware, stays far out at sea except when refueling. Our seas are vast, Violet. Unless you knew the exact location, you would never be able to find it. So, once you magically find the ship, the four of you will launch a full scale assault against the six hundred heavily armed guards and the warden, who is the most celebrated warlord to ever live, who is known as much for his brutality and shrewdness as he is for his piousness. All of this while evading being recaptured, and with a screaming infant stuck to Lucy’s wife’s breast? Forgive me, but I find my faith in your plan slightly lacking. Forgive me, but I do not know if I can see you off on this suicide mission and still be able to sleep at night. My mother is not worth your life.”
“You don’t mean that, and you know it. I know it.”
He rose onto his feet, his eyes blazing.
“Do not tell me what I do and do not mean, Violet Olivier! You know nothing of what I feel. You think that your disgusting father joining up with these morons and trying to kill you after you chose to defy them makes him worthy of your ire? You know nothing of my hatred for my father, and you know nothing of my hatred for my mother, who allowed him to exile me when I was too small to understand why, who allowed him to send me off into warzones where he prayed that I would be killed, all because I possess a power that terrifies him, that he cannot even begin to understand! Do not tell me how I feel about that whore, that lecherous shrew that I call my mother. I care nothing for her. Nothing, do you hear me?”
“Caspar…” I reached out and grasped his hand, “I
t’s alright. Okay? It’s fine. You don’t have to say it, but I know. I saw how much you loved her, and how much you loved your little brother. I know that you hate Adam, and that’s fine. It’s justified. And yeah, it would be a suicide mission if my plan were what you just said, but it’s not.”
“So what is your plan, Violet?”
“Well, it is everything you said, except you left out one crucial part: I am going to round up what’s left of our people, and they are going to come with me.”
“Oh, you are going to take a page out of your sister’s book? Try to be the benevolent leader? The shepherd leading the flock?”
“Yes.”
His smile faltered, because he knew that I was serious. His heart told me that he doubted my abilities severely. But I did not doubt myself, not even when staring his doubt of me in the face.
“Oh, Violet.” He sighed, “Alright. I will go along with your little plan, but only because I am truly interested in seeing how it all plays out. Believe me when I say that my bets are against you, and if it were your sister making this pledge, I would be placing my bets on her, but you are not your sister, so I will place my bets on my new friends. Still, I would like to watch you try, and I will assist only when the odds are tipping in our favor to keep the playing field even, as they say. I am most excited for this, to see if Violet Olivier can match the great and powerful Brynna Olivier. If Violet Olivier can stand with a shrew, the shrew’s lunatic, bastard child, and virginal daughter, and topple Tyre’s dynasty.”
I smiled, not at him, but at the thought of watching all Tyre had built over the years of the war, the years before we had come and the years after, fall the ground. If I played even the smallest role in its fall, I would count myself lucky. He was right that it was Dr. Miletus, her wife, her baby, Illa, and me standing against the big, bad world, and I pictured us standing before that colossal ship that rose out of the sea like a towering mountain, knowing that it was lorded over by an evil man and populated by evil men with guns and knives and bloodlust to rival all of us Red Anarchy people combined. I should have been afraid, but I was not. I was not afraid of them, at least. But I was afraid, afraid of failing, because if I failed, I would be failing Brynna, and honestly, was there anything worse than failing her?
“Are you sure you do not want to just sit idly by and allow the Old Spirits to have their fun with you? It will be brutal, and it will end in your marriage to someone of nobility, all of whom, need I tell you, are not quite noble in the bedroom. But you will be alive. You will be with the winning side. You will be guaranteed your life. What more could you ask for?”
“What could I ask for besides one of the Old Spirits’ infamous punishments, a brutal husband, and a life as a submissive wife who can’t even speak my dead boyfriend’s name, or my sister’s name, or James’s name?” I actually laughed softly, “No, Caspar, I’ll take my chances.”
He looked at me, and after a second, he said, “Alright,” and shrugged. “It is your eternal life with which you are gambling.”
“Yes, it is.”
“We must seal our deal.” He said, and he spun the chair so that he was facing me. While he had been sitting, I had not noticed that he had been doing so with his legs spread wide apart. Brynna had told me once that when men did that, it was a power play, before adding, “That is Body Language 101, Violet Mae.” So, when Caspar grinned, pressed the tips of his fingers together, and continued to look at me, I understood that not only was it a power play, it was a prompt.
“I am not having sex with you.”
“Oh? Well, then,” He shrugged, “No deal. I have to get something out of this arrangement besides just the promise of entertainment, don’t I?”
“You get your life, Caspar. Who do you think you’re talking to? I know that you need to make deals to stay alive.”
“Yes, and that only happens when I take something of value from the person with whom I am making the deal.”
“What of value would you be taking from me if I had sex with you?”
“Is your dignity of value to you?”
If I said no, would he still be pushing this issue?
“That was a rhetorical question. It is of value to all of us. Granted, I prefer gold, or souls, or the life of a child still within its mother’s womb, and all that. But I have been thinking about sex with you for quite a while. So, if you want my help, I recommend you start taking off your clothes.”
“Caspar, I’m not…”
“No deal.”
“You saved me from someone who wanted to…”
“No deal.”
“Please, Caspar.”
He looked at me, sighed heavily, and stood up.
“There is nothing more to say here. Your sister can rot on the ship, my father can bed her in the hopes that her shriveled up organs will hold life, Janna can be passed along from man to man until her organs shrivel up and die, and you can rot here, beneath your noble husband while I bed my pure, virginal wife and think about how sick and sad that makes her dreadful mother. Oh, my… Dr. Lucy is my mother-in-law, and her crazed wife is, too. Dear Lord, what will the holidays be like?”
“Caspar!” I snapped, and my body was beginning to shake. “Please just help me.”
“What is more shameful to you? Sleeping with me, or begging me to help you?” He asked, and I didn’t answer, because I didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t going to help us unless I slept with him, but God, I couldn’t imagine doing it. Not when Nick had just died. Not when I wanted absolutely nothing to do with him because he was so much worse than I ever could have imagined. How could I have ever sympathized with him?
“Oh!” He said, “I almost forgot. Your beloved little sister, Penny, is on her way to the Lapsarian in a crate, and maybe if you’re nice to me, I will ensure that she makes it there with her dignity in tact.”
“What?” I asked, and now, tears were in my eyes. He was threatening to… to Penny? She was a little girl! She was only seven years old. No one I had ever felt kindly towards could ever threaten to stand by while she was violated that way. And Brynna had been violated that way… She would die if she knew Penny had suffered it.
“Take the deal, Violet. Save both of you. All of you. It is just your body, right? I have heard from my Old Spirit comrades that this is a common coping technique of women who are given the violation punishment. It is rather stupid, because though I am aware of the existence of a soul, what is your soul without its body?”
I looked at him, my entire body shaking, but my tears stopping. I refused to cry, not until I was safe. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. Both of my sisters’ lives depended on this, this awful act, this violation of me. Brynna would die if she knew of it, so I would never tell her. When I saw her again, I would never say a word about it.
“I’m not good at it. I’ve only been doing it for a little bit.”
“Well, thankfully, I have been doing it for a while. I can make up for your inexperience and lack of skill. Now, come here.”
I stood there, shaking, frozen. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t possibly do it…
“I will give you two minutes before I revoke this offer and put you back in your cell. And then maybe I’ll come by with a few of my new friends, and I’ll watch Dr. Lucy bed you. She is sick with the perversion of sameness, after all.”
A sound, something between a cry and a gasp escaped me, and my body began to move towards him. When I was in front of him, and his hands were on me, everything began to fade away as my consciousness cowered in the back of my mind. I did not want to be aware of it, what he was doing.
“Give me your consent.” He said, but I could not. The words were stuck firmly in the back of my throat, choking me. “Say ‘yes,’ Violet. It will be more unpleasant for you if you do not just say ‘yes.’ If you say it, you will be able to convince yourself that it is what you wanted.”
But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t possibly say it.
My hand had wrapped around someth
ing on the desk. It was cold and metal, and I had seen it glinting in the light, but I had barely noticed it. It was in my hand, and I knew that it was sharp, sharp enough that I could… could…
My hand was plunged into his stomach up to my wrist, a letter opener in its tight grip, and it was twisting. My other hand was over his mouth, stifling the sound of his scream as his blood poured over me.
“Brynna…” I said, “I need to know where they are. Illa and Dr. Miletus’s wife. Make him show me.”
And she heard me. In his mind, she threw thoughts and memories aside and ripped his brain apart to find the information I needed. Then she made it broadcast out of his eyes into mine.
When I ripped the knife out, and his blood sprayed onto me, I glared into his eyes.
“No.” I said, firmly, emphatically, “No, do you hear me? I said, ‘NO!’” And I brought my hand back, slashed the knife across his throat, and watched as he gagged and choked on his blood. He would not die, but he would be in pain for a while. There are only a few ways to kill a Dionysian, and with a letter opener is not one. Still, I could cause him pain. I could keep my dignity by taking his. I could watch him fear, just for a moment, that he would die. I could think, however briefly, that he would die at my hands.
And I could make sure that he knew there was no question. There was no consent. He could not have me at all, but he could certainly not have me with my forced grant of permission.
His eyes promised that I and everyone I loved would pay.
“No,” I said, “You will pay, Caspar. I promise you right now that you will never sit by and watch your father die. I am going to kill you, and he is going to watch you die. I am going to watch you die.”
I stabbed him one last time, waiting until the spray of blood had settled, and then, I took off, armed with the letter opener and the knowledge of where I needed to find my friends.
Our escape had moved from “possible” to “probable,” and it was up to me to make it certain. With the blood of Caspar covering me, and with the letter opener held in my shaking hand, and with utter elation in my heart, I charged through the hallways of the bunker, knowing that every step put us closer to freedom, and therefore closer to starting our hunt for the Lapsarian. With each step, I was closer to Brynna and Penny.
“I’m coming, Brynn.” I said, “I’m coming for you.”