by T. Rudacille
***
Lucy was going to stay home, so the care of our village’s populace fell onto me that day. Well, not really. The only time I was busy was when I was working directly beside Lucy. Otherwise, the male doctors took over, and I would sit in mine and Lucy’s office, listening to them snickering as they passed my door. Even after so many years, they made their stupid jokes and sneers. One walked by and told me to tell Lucy that by the time he was done with her, she’d wish she’d been “right” the whole time, and I wanted to snap back so many things, but I held my tongue.
I tell you all of this so you can see what she put up with for all those years. Macie stayed at home with Millie, and that had been Lucy’s idea, because she had known that Macie would be unable to bear their torments for too long. She would not break down and cry. Instead, she would fight back. The only reason why Lucy and Macie were permitted to live was because Lucy was so good at what she did. To the Old Spirits, Macie had no bankable skill on which she could fall back, so if she caused any kind of an uproar, they would deem her easily disposable. Lucy protected her by bearing the torments of her peers in her scarily icy silence alone, and by continuing to be the legendary physician and surgeon that she had always been.
A knock came on my door around noon, and my brows furrowed when I looked at it. No one knocked. If I had the door closed, and they wanted to taunt me, they would open the door and come right in to do so.
“It is me, Violet.” His falsely cheery voice said, and I rolled my eyes, even though my heart immediately plummeted upon hearing him speak.
The door opened, and Caspar was there, looking strange with the tan that he had acquired over his time in Estersea. I was so used to him being pale, with just a few flecks of red in his lips and around his ears, so pale that he looked like he had spent the past several days dead in the morgue and was slowly returning to life. Without asking, he sat down right in front of me, and pretended to look around the room curiously.
“Well… Where is your dear idem bitch-mother?”
“That is the dumbest insult.” I snapped at him, “Bitch-mother? What does that even mean?”
“Female dogs are called ‘bitches,’ Violet. Bitches are good for breeding, and that is all. Bitch-mother. It is just a step further than bitch. I know, it is silly, but it is effective. Where is my favorite girl in the world?”
“At home.” I snapped, “Recovering from the outbreak in the jail. Recovering from everything you did to her.”
“Oh, probably crying over the damned Inversion I cut into her. People take that silly little symbol so seriously. I was just testing her, seeing if she would be as sickened by it as the rest of them have been. I know this makes me a dog, but I love seeing how people react to being branded with it. The funny thing is that I have never met anyone besides Unallied mongrels who don’t get so utterly inconsolable when they are branded with the Inversion. It is disappointing, because I really thought my Lucy was better than that. Did she recover from her illness?”
I didn’t like the way he said it. He was implying that he knew something, or maybe he wasn’t, but it sounded like he was. I was sure he suspected that Lucy had manufactured the plague, but I would say and do nothing to betray that it was true.
“She is doing well.”
“Hmm… How interesting. Everyone else has perished. The jail runs through with a river of blood. The bodies are stacked high to the ceilings, one pile of guards, one pile of prisoners, separated by their choices, holy or unholy, even in death. And yet my Lucy lives. God,” He sighed, “I really should just make an honest woman of her; she never fails to surprise me, and that is something the rest of these little holy people never do. Even after all these years, Lucy surprises me. I hate to make you envious, Violet, but I do believe I am in love.”
“You’re not going to touch her!” I snapped at him.
“Oh, Violet, how many times have you said that?” He asked tauntingly, and I did not reply, not for a long time. We simply stared at each other, him smirking, me steaming with rage.
“Do you remember all those years ago in Shadow Village?” I asked him softly, even though I wanted to scream at him how sick he was, how much I hated him, and swear violence upon him if he put his hands on Lucy again. Instead, I was calm. I spoke quietly to him; I tried to appeal to the good man I had known all those years ago, when we were still kids.
“Of course I remember Shadow Village. I grew up in Shadow Village. What of it?”
“Do you remember how when we hurt Lucy that one time,” I was sickened to see him grinning at the memory.
“You mean the first time I got my fix, as your lot say? The first time I tasted the drug I never knew I wanted? You know, I swore going in, ‘No matter what I do to this woman, I will never violate her in the worst possible way. I will not rape her.’ And I have not. Not even today. But I also said, ‘Once I do this for Violet, once my quota is met, and I may live another day, I will leave this woman be.’ Yet here we are.”
“Was it because we were with your mom? Did Janna help you stop yourself from doing these terrible things?”
“Janna was a pathetic child raising potentially great children. Janna was nothing.”
“You loved her. I remember how you talked about her.”
“I said what I thought I felt, but I know that she was doomed from the beginning. Her allegiance was to my disgusting father, not to me. When he sent me away after the incident with you—which he did to please your sister, I am sure—she did not stop him. She heard what I had done, and she was sickened by me.”
“I doubt she was sickened by you. I saw you two together. She loved you. She was upset, I’m sure.”
“Why should she have been upset? She hated Luciana Miletus more than anyone else in any village, town, or city on this Orb, including the Old Spirit territories. She hated her so much, she tried to have her exiled. She tried to have my father send her away, but he would not. ‘This is where she has chosen to make her home, and I find it utterly comical that you are so threatened by having another powerful woman here. Perhaps you know that she is more powerful than you will ever be, truly.’ He said things like that to her so many times. He stoked that anger in her all the time. He said all the right things to make her anger and her resentment grow into hatred for Lucy, and why? Because he knew that he was right: having another powerful woman around made my mother absolutely mad. Knowing that this woman had more of her great husband’s respect and love infuriated her.”
“So you wanted to knock her down a few pegs. Lucy, I mean.”
“Exactly.” His eyes were red, his voice uncharacteristically full of rage. When I looked closely, I could see his hands trembling, and I was transfixed, because Caspar had not shown any emotion except smug pride and cold indifference to me or to anyone in so many years. It was strange to see the young Caspar come roaring back in all his “gallant” (because that is what he thought he was) passionate glory.
“I would shatter that ego and melt that legendary icy demeanor,” He continued, “And my father would be proven wrong, and my mother would be happy. Of course, Violet.” Just like that, the passion and rage melted away, and he was right back to ice. “It is that simple. All I wanted was to make my mother proud.”
“That’s the only explanation for why you have fixated on Lucy the way you have.”
“Or is the explanation simply that I was always meant to be an Old Spirit? I have always wanted to subjugate powerful women. I have always wanted to destroy powerful men who are undeserving of their power, like my father. I have always wanted to be the woman-hating, woman-hurting, evil bastard of your sister’s nightmares. Of every woman’s nightmares. I have always wanted to be the Conquering King of every man’s dreams. That’s what we are, correct? To them? To my father’s people? We rape women and kill their men, and kill those women, if we have to. We hurt them until they are befitting of the ways of the true One God. Until they are quiet and meek and accept their husband’s guidance, their husban
ds who are worthy, by the One God’s rules, of the power they wield. See, Brynna always thought it was just women, but have you seen what we do to men, as well?”
“I have. Turns out your awfulness defies sex.”
“But it is all for good, Violet. Just ask Tyre. By the One God, he has deluded himself to think that he has done everything for good. He believes his own shows of compassion for you terrible offenders. He believes that it is from a place of love for the weak and concern for the damned that he imprisons you and allows himself and his men to torment you.”
“He buys what he sells. I know that.” I told him, but he furrowed his brows at me, looking both quizzical and impressed.
“I have never heard that one before. It is quite good.”
“You don’t buy what he sells, though. You hurt people just to hurt people.”
“I hurt people because it is in my nature to do so, Violet. How many times must I explain this to you? Your kind don’t have a hamartia, nor do those empty-headed Herculians. You lot are raw, stupid emotion, and they are raw, stupid strength. But the Athenes and the Dionysians are more than we appear. Your sister’s ilk know all, for they see all, they control all, but their powers falter. They can be blinded by what they want to see. They tamper with Fate and Circumstance and What Should Be versus What Will Be, even when tampering with such things could spell the end of both our kinds. Dionysians can only make dark deals, we cannot help others. We are doomed by birth to be terrible men and terrible women, and we learn when we are small from those who know of our curse that we will grow up to be terrible, and even if we swear we won’t, even if our mothers clutch us to their breasts at night and swear that we will never make deals for the worse, when Death comes knocking, when our skin turns pale white, and our eyes begin to dull, and the dreadful illnesses begin to set in, we fight. We begin to make deals, for we are partners with him, with Death. From the time we are born to the time he takes us, we are Death’s partners. We deliver more souls unto him than any brutish soldier or ruthless interrogator. Over our eternal lifetimes, we spill more blood than that which is spilled in war. It is not always those men or women in our debt whose blood is spilled; it is the usurpers they have asked us for help in conquering, the lover who has won the prize between their beloved spouse’s legs, the swine who stole from them in a game of cards… Sometimes, the debtor must be killed, if he does not pay his debts. But sometimes, his enemy is killed, and then his enemy’s kin kill the debtor, and Death is given multiple men for the price of one. I am that skilled at this. I know how to create a ripple effect. How to round up many souls to be taken when other Dionysians can scarcely round up one. It is all a game, Violet. Everyone plays, everyone loses, everyone is returned to Death’s cold embrace. Bargain, lose, die, and that is all. Lucy made a bargain with me, and I was more than happy to take the deal. ‘If you help me end them, I will be yours.’ So really, when I torment her while she is chained to the wall inside the prison, I am just accepting my payment. If she breaks the oath, she dies. That is how the game is played.”
“How did she want to end them?”
“Oh, do not ‘play dumb,’ as your kind say! The Red Plague. ‘Red Fever’ as your kind called it on Earth. ‘Red Dead,’ as it was called informally. The Blood Plague. She could have concocted something so much tamer. For instance, if you play around with the chemical components of Black Beauty, you can make an airborne plague that is totally invisible and yet totally lethal. We used it in one of Tyre’s towns in the east, back when I was fighting in my father’s army. The whole town was dead within a day and a half. She could have done that, but she wanted to play the slow game. She wanted them to suffer, and the Red Plague is slow, and by the One God, does it make its victims suffer. It incubates and infects over just a few hours, and then those hours bottom out into the gloriously grisly conclusion. You saw the churches after I told her to hit there?”
“You told her to hit the churches?”
“Why, yes.” He replied, “I told her where to hit every time. See, because I have a stake in this, as well. I want to rule this city. I should rule this city. After all I have done for Tyre, after all of the secrets about my father and mother that I told him, after I delivered him Shadow Village, and his oldest enemy along with it, after I delivered him the last Athene, why should I not have a city of my own? Why should I not be his right-hand? Paul has done nothing. The plan to trick your sister was his, and yes, he was able to trick her into leading him back to the village. But it was I who told them of your stupid James’s plan to hide in the bunker. It was I who made sure Tyre knew that my father and your sister were on the outs, as they say, and it was I who put Shadow Village right into his hands, and led to this world-rule he so enjoys. Paul has made a deal with you. I know he has, but the other part of this game we all play—arguably the most fun part—is that a deal may be canceled if one receives a better deal.”
“And you are going to offer me a better deal? Then I have choose between the two of you?”
“Yes.”
“So what is your offer?”
“I offer you freedom.”
“He already offered me that.”
“You did not let me finish. I offer you freedom, and your family.”
“Every member of my family is here. Lucy, Macie, and Millie are my family. Everyone else died a long time ago.”
“Did they? Or is that just what they told you?”
“I don’t believe you. Paul played this game with Brynna about my mother, and she was never here.”
“Oh, she was, Violet. She is. I saw her just a few days ago, in fact, when Tyre and I met in Estersea. She has looked better, I will tell you. I mean, anyone would look better when they are not chained up like a dog, but she is alive. She knew that I knew you, too. When Tyre left the room, she crawled up to me, took my hands, and said she wanted to make a deal with me. She knew I was Dionysian, and she wanted to make a deal. It is rare that I am asked, generally I have to seek out those who are desperate enough to bargain, but she is far beyond desperate, so she asked me.”
“And what did she want?”
“For me to let you out. For me to find a way to help you escape so that you could find John—that is the man she was seeing behind your father’s back on Earth—and together, you two could find Brynna. See, her whole idea is not for all of you to rescue her, it is to put you all back where you belong, which in her mind, is together with her paramour. She knows that if she is not with Tyre, he will tear this world apart to find her, and she will not endanger all of you that way. ‘He’ll never let me go,’ She said, ‘He’ll never stop hunting me, so I have to stay. But I’ll do anything you want if you help them find their ways to each other.’ She begged me. She laid her head in my lap and cried, begging me to help.”
“So what did she have to give you in exchange for you helping me leave here?”
He looked at me, and smiled almost sadly.
“Nothing, Violet. I do so love desperation; it is what I feed upon. It is how I survive. But by the One God, I could not barter with her. She is not broken. No, I saw so much strength still left inside her, even after the horrors she has suffered. But I would not add to her suffering. I could not. For just one moment, my heart spoke for me, and I told her that I would help you. But I cannot work for nothing. If I did, I would die. So instead of bartering with her, I will barter with you. How does that sound? Would you like to barter on your dear mother’s behalf, Violet?”
They had pulled this same trick on Brynna. I knew that. But his heart was screaming truth, and my heart was screaming for her, because though she said she did not want us to find her, I knew that with my freedom, I would spend the rest of my eternal life hunting Tyre down so I could get my mom back. First, I would find Brynna, who was alive (and God, I wanted to sob, knowing she and the rest of them were alive, but I could not quite process it yet), and then, we would find this mysterious “John,” and then, we would find my mom. If Caspar was lying, he was damn good at hi
ding it, because his heart told no lies, at least to my perception.
“Yes,” I answered instantly, “Yes, Caspar, I will.”
“Alright. I will make it simple: You kill Paul, I let you, Lucy, Millie, and Macie leave here. Not only that, but I will finish off the rest of our shared enemies in this city with Lucy’s clever plague, and that will be that.”
“How is that deal going to keep you alive? The last time we made a deal, you tried to force me into having sex with you.”
“Something I regret entirely, by the way. I do not know if I have mentioned that.”
“You have not mentioned it, but it doesn’t change anything now that you have. I still think you’re despicable. But that’s irrelevant right now. How is this deal going to keep you alive? I’m helping you, so you’re helping me.”
“You’re helping me by killing a man, Violet. Death will still be getting his man, but as surely as you and I are sitting here, that man will not be me. So are we on, then?”
“Yes.” I said, “We are on.”
“Good. Let us shake on it.”
I reached out and shook his hand, cringing internally at the feel of his cold skin against my skin. When I went to pull my hand away in a shameless recoil, he gripped it gently to keep me from doing so. When I looked up at him in surprise, his eyes were downcast to the floor. After a moment, they rose, and no longer were they that dark green, almost black shade. Instead, I was looking into the bright, dazzling green by which I had been so transfixed all those years ago.
“You know that I have always cared for you, Violet.” He said quietly, almost shamefully. “In my own way, I have always cared. You have been petulant these last few years. Sometimes you make me so angry, so I take my anger with you out on your precious Lucy. The ones we love do so often pay the price for the harm we cause.”
I was silent, because even though I knew he was just trying to get into my heart and make me feel guilty, I could not fight the sick feeling of shame that welled up inside of me. I felt like if I had not shunned Caspar after he had killed Nick, if I had allowed him to think I still cared for him, he would have left Lucy alone.
“They are all alive?” I asked, just before he let go of my hand, “My mom, my sisters, my brother, James, Quinn, Alice, Adam, your mom… They are all out there?”
“Yes,” He replied, and he actually smiled genuinely, though the smile was slight, “And if you do this for me, I will let you leave here so that you may find them and be with them again. And then I will leave you alone, Violet. I will have the only thing that I want more in this world than you: I will have this city, and soon after that, I will have the world. But by the One God… I do so wish you would rule it with me.”
“I won’t.”
“I know that.” He nodded and turned away, but before he left, he turned back to me again, “I was not putting on an act when you met me. That boy was who I was.”
“I know.” I told him, “You still had your darkness, but you were not like you are now.”
“I am glad you know that. It is my sincerest hope, Violet, that you know how relieved I am that I showed my true colors to you then, even if I did not know that they were my true colors. It is a relief to me that you did not love me, and because you did not love me, I could not corrupt you. I could not make you as I am now. I could not make you want to rule with me. I am glad for that.”
“Believe me, Caspar, so am I.”
“Alright.” He smiled, paused for a moment to look at me, and I knew that he had been expecting a different response. He had been expecting some warmth from me, and a part of me wanted to give it to him. But I simply could not.
So he turned and walked away, and when he spoke to me over his shoulder, his voice was carrying its typical lilt of arrogance and bored apathy.
“Make haste with this, Violet. Your storm overhead is not the only one that is brewing.”