“No,” Sedge moaned.
Anguish ballooned in her chest, the remembered pain, the feel of warm blood gushing down her thighs as the baby inside her died. “You can’t blame him, though, Sedge.” Silent tears rolled steadily down her face, drenching the front of her shirt.
“Oh, Jesus,” Sedge croaked. “Don’t say that.”
“I should’ve left him!” she cried out, wildness stirring behind her breastbone.
“Kimberly, no –” Sedge stepped forward, reaching for her again.
She shoved his hands away. “If I hadn’t been too weak to leave him, then … then my baby would be ….” Alive. The balloon burst: all the pain, the sorrow, the guilt, the self-hatred. Everything. She threw her head back and screamed, long and loud and throbbing, her throat searing raw.
Sedge stumbled forward and pulled her into a fierce embrace, his arms trembling as they wrapped around her.
She pounded her fists against his muscled body, still screaming as guilt tore her insides to ribbons. “No! No! No!” She tangled her fingers into the front of his shirt, pulling and jerking at the material, driving herself into a coughing fit. She started to gasp and wheeze.
Sedge hurried her over to the kitchen sink, scattering through the broken glass on the floor.
That was good thinking. She bent over the basin and threw up.
When she was done, he pulled her against the protective strength of his chest again.
She sagged boneless against him, her eyes sore, her throat like sandpaper.
“Don’t you dare,” his voice vibrated around the word, “blame yourself for anything that bastard did to you, Kimberly. Do you hear me?” He smoothed a palm over her short hair, the gesture comforting, even though his hand was shaking.
“That prick systematically destroyed you. He started out with those little jabs at your self-esteem, right? Small shit you would’ve felt ridiculous calling him on, but that picked away at your confidence, all the same. And once he had your defenses knocked down, the fucker terrorized you with violence, knowing he’d made you helpless.” He pressed his cheek to the side of her head. “He broke you, honey. How can you even remotely think you could’ve left him under circumstances like that? Any woman would’ve had a tough time with that.”
She blinked rapidly and chewed her bottom lip, trying just to let her husband’s words wash over her like a balm. He wasn’t … judging her.
“You’re not weak,” he went on. “There’s nothing you wouldn’t do for anybody, Berly. I’ve seen that with my own eyes. Like rallying the Dragons into mutiny – and don’t try to tell me you weren’t the genius behind that. You knew the community would be pissed as hell about it, but you did it anyway, to right a wrong.” His voice lowered. “And it was the same with your baby, I bet. Right? It’s one thing for your asshole ex-boyfriend to beat the crap out of you, but let him harm your child ….” He trailed off.
She nodded, her eyes moistening again. “Yes,” she whispered. “As soon as I could get out of bed after the miscarriage, I called a shelter. After that, I ran away to the Peace Corps to hide from him.”
He inhaled-exhaled. “So much about your unhappiness makes sense to me now, honey. You’ve always got this huge, invisible weight on your shoulders. Or in your heart. You’re just not satisfied unless you’re saving the whole world, and it’s not right. You’re too frantic about it. I think … it’s because you’re so relentlessly punishing yourself for what happened to your baby, feeling like you should’ve somehow been able to save your kid. You run around saving everybody else to make up for it, keeping yourself so crazy-busy that you never take the time to just … live for yourself. To be happy.” He kissed her hair. “Our whole marriage I’ve been killing myself trying to figure out how to make you happy, but now I see you’ve been refusing to let me.”
That was probably partially true. She pulled back a little and looked up at him. “Let’s not discount the kidnapping thing, either, Sedge.”
His lips lifted in a rueful smile. “I think you know I’ve never done that.”
“And don’t forget that I’ve been deprived of the work that I love.”
“That’s going to change, too, I promise. If Toni doesn’t see to it, I will.” He brushed a tendril of hair from her eyes. “You missed the big face-off in the conference room. Everyone’s listening to you Dragons now. No more kidnappings and Toni’s going to be co-leader of Ţărână. You won, Kimberly.”
She blinked once. “I won? really?”
“Yep.” He chuckled. “Now come on, I’m going to take you upstairs and remind you how a man is supposed to treat a woman. A hot bath, a cup of tea, those smelly candles you like, maybe a little massage action.”
“Oh, boy.” She gazed into his eyes, taking in all of the love and safety he had to offer her, letting it wrap around her. “Believe me when I tell you that I’m all yours, hubby.”
He swept her into his arms and headed up the stairs.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Toni kicked off her slingback pumps and crossed to the lamp on her bedside table, turning the brightness down to something more romantic. Her blood sang with anticipation, that special kind of giddy excitement a girl only felt when she knew she was about to get laid by a super sexy guy. Maybe later she’d do a victory moon walk.
Nearly chuckling, she scooped up the bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape sitting next to the Contessa phone on her nightstand. What would Dev say if he knew she was about to use his gift of one of his finest French reds to seduce another man out of his clothes?
“Hey, Jacken, why don’t you grab a couple of wine –” She cut herself off.
The object of her lust was standing with his back pressed flat against her locked bedroom door, his eyes unblinking, his lips parted around short, shallow breaths.
Here was a new sight: Jacken on the verge of an all-out panic.
She held up the bottle, slowly, carefully. No sudden movements around the virgin, ladies and gentlemen, we don’t want to scare him off. “I thought we could enjoy a glass of wine first.”
“No.” He cleared a scratch from his voice. “I mean, no, uh … thank you. I’m good.”
Politeness? Oh, this was worse than she’d thought. “Are you sure?” She couldn’t help a small smile. “You look a little nervous.”
“Yeah, I’m … feeling a bit boggled.”
“Boggled?” She laughed as she set down the bottle. “That doesn’t sound like a word you’d use.”
“Fucking boggled, then.”
She rolled her eyes, even though she laughed again. “Our children are going to be such potty mouths, Jacken, I swear to God.”
The shell-shocked expression returned to his face. “Children,” he repeated hoarsely. “Jesus, Toni, I can’t believe … this just can’t be real.” He shoved both hands back through his hair, then stood with his fingers gripping the base of his neck, his elbows spread wide. The stance served to display and augment the magnificent bulk of his body to perfection, his biceps curled up thick, the massive range of his shoulders and lats tapering down to a flat, board-like belly and narrow hips, his solidly muscled legs planted apart in his typical posture of confidence and power.
The sight sent a bolt of pure lust shooting straight through her. “You’ve got such a great body. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to see you naked.”
His arms fell back to his sides. He blinked, then snorted. “Yeah, well, I might have a clue about that on my own end.”
She strode up to him with a heavy-lidded look. “Well, then, why don’t we start making everything feel a lot more real?” She tugged the shirt from his waistband.
He exhaled a burst of air and jerked sideways away from her.
She arched her brows at him. “Running away? That’s what boggling does?”
He flushed. “No. I just … I don’t ….”
She stepped back. “Let’s take a short station break. How much do you know, exactly? Are you aware of the whole penis-in-the-vagina thing
?”
“Jesus,” he hissed, his face turning a deeper shade of red. “Yes, of course. We all took sex ed in school, and … I watched part of a porno once.”
Eee-yikes. “Um, well, those aren’t exactly the best training videos for what women like. So maybe it’d be best if you just follow my lead.”
“No … I mean, yes, following you is fine. It’s just …. It’s hard to get used to the idea that I’m allowed to do this, Toni, okay?” He held up both hands, showing them to her. “I’ve never been allowed to touch you. At all.”
“Oh, honey,” she murmured, her heart warming. “Keep reminding yourself that I’m yours now, okay?” She grabbed his shirttails again, but paused. “I’m going to just do my thing, all right? If I move too fast, you be sure to let me know.” She hauled his shirt off over his head, catching a glimpse of the twin dark patches of hair under his arms. In his armpits and on his head seemed to be the only places on his body he had hair. And … her eyes strayed to the front of his pants. There?
She forced her eyes back up, and smoothed her palms over his tattooed chest, feeling his muscles tense beneath his flesh. “Let your hunger for me guide you,” she whispered. “Don’t think of anything else.” His skin was warm and surprisingly soft over the hard contours of his muscles. Satin over steel …. She swept her thumbs along the ridges of muscle underlying his pecs. A small sound escaped her lips as the raw virility of him sent heat spiraling through her, desire pooling hot and liquid between her thighs.
Jacken slammed back against the door, a crack of wood, his nostrils flaring.
She gave him a sultry smile. “That’s me. I’m so wet for you, Jacken.”
His eyes opened wider.
“Touch me, too.” Wrapping a palm around the nape of his neck, she pulled him down for a kiss. “I want your hands on me so much,” she said against his lips. Taking one of his palms, she placed it on her breast.
A breath ripped out of him and rushed into her mouth. He tried to pull away, but she wouldn’t let him. She locked her palm solidly over the top of his hand at her breast and slanted her lips passionately over his, plunging her tongue deeply into his mouth, delving and exploring, making him kiss her back. God, it was so much better than that drugged-out day in the mansion’s main parlor. Everything was so vivid this time. His tongue was sweet velvet against her own, and the taste of him was like having living fire inside her mouth, with all the burn and none of the pain.
She arched against him until finally, finally, he gave her boob a single, cautious squeeze. Her nipple peaked against his palm, and she moaned low in her throat, the need between her thighs growing hotter, wetter.
Jacken tore his lips from hers, a long, hissing breath threading between his clenched teeth.
She didn’t want to stop, but it was impossible not to notice that the noises he was making weren’t entirely pleasure-filled. “Jacken,” she breathed, “what’s wrong? Are you in pain?”
“Jesus, yes. I need to claim you, Toni.” He tunneled his fingers into her hair and tilted her head to one side, his eyes latching onto her throat with glinting hunger.
She looked at his elongated fangs, brilliant white and wickedly sharp, and an unholy thrill curled up her spine. Who would’ve guessed the prospect of being bitten would be such a turn-on, but she’d never wanted anything so much in her life. “Yes, I’m ready.”
“Thank God,” he groaned. He pulled her close and dropped his face to her throat, one hand cradling the back of her head and the other pressing the center of her spine. He nuzzled her flesh, the rush of his breath tickling her as he drew in several deep lungfuls of her scent. She felt him shudder, and her heartbeat picked up its pace.
“Your scent’s already so deep inside my head. Damn ….” A low growl rumbled out of him, the animal quality of it spraying gooseflesh up her arms. He latched his lips onto her neck and sucked eagerly at her skin, the pull of his mouth drawing a corresponding tug out of the depths of her womb. Her nipples ripened and puckered, her breathing speeding up. A pulsating power hummed from his fangs, sending a shiver of anticipation through her belly. Suddenly she couldn’t hold her head upright any longer.
Jacken lifted his own head. “Toni.” His voice was heavy with desire, deep and silky. “Do you know about the first bite hurting?”
“What?” she mumbled.
“Shit,” he cursed softly. “Toni, open your eyes.” His grip on her hair tightened, keeping her head from lolling off her neck. “I need you to listen to me.”
It took a Herculean effort, but she pried open her eyes a little, peering at him through the slit of her lids.
“This is going to hurt,” he told her. “I’m sorry, honey. The first bite always does. Just … hang in for five seconds, then the Fiinţă will kick in and you’ll be fine.”
She nodded drowsily.
He hesitated still. “After you’ve got Fiinţă running regularly through your body, then it’ll never hurt, okay?” His hand at the small of her back urged her snugly against his body.
“It’s all right,” she murmured.
But, no. It wasn’t all right.
As his enormous shoulders hunched over her and his hard jaws snapped closed around her throat, her entire body jerked in pain and shock. Holy Mother of –! What she’d thought would be no worse than a couple of immunization shots felt instead like two daggers plunging into her vulnerable carotid. She cried out, fear rocketing through her.
Blood gushed out of her artery, filling Jacken’s mouth, bringing such a noise of shattering pleasure out of him, her panic deepened. He sucked harder, and instinct for survival seized her. “Jacken!” She struggled against him. “Stop!”
He only held her tighter, one arm wrapping around her waist like a steel band, the other hand tangling around a fistful of her hair.
A fear unlike any she’d ever known roared through her. Her eyes flared wide and she hauled in a sharp breath. The sound of Jacken’s greedy swallowing and his constant rumblings of elation filled her with the absolute certainty that he was going to lose control and drink too much.
He was going to kill her!
Chapter Thirty-Four
Toni gasped as Jacken drove her down to the floor, his heavily muscled body crushing her into the carpet, his fangs still working relentlessly at her throat. “No, Jacken!” Damn him! She struggled harder, bucking and heaving. “No-oooooh.” Her protest sputtered into a moan as she went utterly limp.
The pleasure was impossible. Fist-sized starbursts of heat were lighting off all over her body, gradually melding into a single large pool of fantastic sensation that – Oh. My. God. Her back spasmed into an arch on its own as the tide of warm molasses ecstasy glided lazily through her extremities, seeped into the trunk of her body, then gathered with mind-altering magnificence right in her crotch. She dug her fingernails into Jacken’s shoulders, the sultry heat flooding the folds of her sex. She swelled and clenched and … dear God, she was sopping wet. Yes. Oh, yes. Her vagina started to throb with pre-climatic pulsations.
She was panting urgently enough to hyperventilate when that fool man of hers withdrew his wretched, wonderful fangs. “Don’t stop,” she moaned.
He reared above her onto his knees and threw his arms wide. Flinging his head back, he howled in utmost savage glory.
She gaped up at him, stunned rigid.
When he looked down at her again, his eyes were stained unfathomably black with lust. “Fuck, you taste fantastic.” He dropped his gaze to her heaving breasts, then surprised the hell out of her by grabbing the front of her wraparound blouse and yanking hard. Like a special effects tear-away blouse, it came off in one pull, bra and all.
“J-Jacken,” she stuttered, “my God.”
He paused a moment to stare in fierce-eyed admiration at her best feature, then with a low, almost purring snarl, he clamped his hand around her bare breast. He massaged and molded it, clumsy and too rough, but her nipple hardened anyway, and in the next breath, his face was pressed between her
cleavage. He kissed her there, his breath warming her flesh, then moved to lap at one of her nipples. She dug her fingers into his hair, encouraging him. He latched onto the tight bud with his lips, suckling her with such strong pulls a low groan pushed passed her lips.
Immediately, he jerked off her.
“Don’t stop,” she protested again. “It’s so good.”
“Holy shit.” His voice was a deep rasp of amazement.
She followed the direction of his gaze down to the front of his black pants. The crotch was bulging outward.
With unsteady hands, he unclasped his belt, then slowly undid his button fly. Pop … pop … pop …. Boxer briefs came into view, actual ones, not workout gear.
Her mouth went dry. It looked like a lead pipe had been stuffed down the front of his underwear.
“Yeah.” He eagerly pushed his briefs down his hips, his erection springing into view. “Shit yeah.”
A pleased sound broke from her throat. She’d never seen such a fine a piece of male equipment in all of her dating years. He was in possession of both length and girth, and … beautiful. No bulging veins marred his length, as was so often the case with this part of a man, and the top of him wasn’t some purple, bulbous head. He was impeccably smooth, pure white marble from his thatch of black hair – hair! – all the way out.
“That,” she breathed, “would’ve been a waste of some fine male apparatus if I hadn’t come along.” She wrapped her fingers around the jutting appendage.
“Hell!” His body convulsed, and he wrenched her fingers away. “I need to come inside you to complete the bond between us, Toni, not all over this damned room.”
“All over the room?” She pushed up onto her elbows, lifting her eyebrows high. “Wow. Is there something about the Vârcolac male’s trajectory abilities I should know before we –?”
Her sentence gasped to a halt when Jacken towered to his feet, pulling her up with him. “Get undressed,” he ordered her.
The command was clipped curtly and the way in which he’d just helped her up was rather abrupt, but she didn’t complain. The high voltage of power emanating from him suggested a discussion about his manners wouldn’t have been prudent just then.
The Community Series, Books 1-3 Page 25