by T. L. Haddix
She introduced her parents and Charlie. Travis shook their hands, holding onto Charlie’s a little longer.
“Good to finally meet everyone. Come on in the house.”
They followed him inside, and as they went through the door, Lauren held her hand out to Charlie. After a slight hesitation, he clasped it warmly with his.
“I know you’re not jealous?” she asked him in a low voice as Travis introduced her parents to the people in the living room.
Charlie shrugged. “Maybe a little.”
She smiled up at him. “I didn’t spend the night in his bed last night, did I?”
His hand tightened around hers, and she saw him visibly relax. “No, you didn’t.”
They moved on into the living room, and Lauren introduced him to the people he didn’t know. “This is Margie’s brother Jacob, and his wife Emily.” Moving to the dark-haired man standing slightly behind Jacob, she smiled. “And this character is Rob, Margie’s other brother. How are you?”
Rob hugged her, then pulled back to look her over. “I’m okay. You? We heard about what happened with Mom last night.”
“I’m fine. She didn’t do any permanent damage.”
“Good.”
“The girls aren’t coming,” Jacob said. “They’re not up to it.”
Lauren nodded. “I understand. I think we all do.”
Across the room, Travis cleared his throat. “If everyone is ready, we can head down to the lake.” With a nod at Sam Davis, he led them through a set of French doors that opened onto a large deck behind the house. The party followed him down a graveled footpath and onto the boat dock that led to the large gazebo at the end of the dock. Folding chairs were set to one side.
“I didn’t know if we’d have enough seats or not, but it looks like we’re fine,” Travis said as they all took seats on the benches that were built into the sides of the structure.
Sam Davis was the last to enter. He carried a pretty cloisonné urn and a leather portfolio. Setting the folder down on one of the seats, he carefully placed the urn on a small stand set in the middle of the floor. Everyone was silent and somber, some staring at the urn, and some unable to look at it. When he picked up the folder again, Travis sat down, ceding the floor to the attorney.
“I think everyone here knows who I am. Charity Vaughn was my client, but she was also my friend. Everyone here had a complex relationship with her, no matter what name you knew her by. Most of you knew her as Margie Vernon. Some of you knew her as both.” He paused, letting his words sink in.
“I didn’t always agree with what Charity did,” he told them. “I tried to convince her to make contact with some of you, let you know who she was and try to make peace, but she made it very clear to me that she wasn’t able to do that. I think she had found a way to survive her past, and that was to pretend it hadn’t happened. That meant leaving the people she loved behind to a very large extent.” He swallowed, and Lauren could tell he was struggling to not cry.
“Charity wrote letters to most of you who are here today. She knew that she lived a risky life, and maybe she even had some sort of precognition about her death; I don’t know exactly what she thought. What I do know is that each of you was very special to her, and I hope you can remember that.” Opening the folder, he drew out the letters and gave them to the people to whom they were addressed.
“She didn’t specify that you had to read these in public, thank God. As a matter of fact, she was pretty adamant about not having any kind of public ceremony, and she hid her private life so well, I would imagine she would be horrified if you did read them publicly.” As he finished, he moved over to take his seat next to Raven, returning the floor to Travis.
Travis looked at Jacob, as if silently asking him if he wanted to go next. Jacob nodded once, then stood and approached the urn cautiously as if it contained a deadly poison. As he stared at it, his eyes filled with tears. Unable to speak, he turned and sat back down. Emily placed her arm around his shoulders as he sobbed quietly.
Rob squeezed his brother’s shoulder and stood, pinching the bridge of his nose. He started talking. “It’s been an interesting couple of weeks,” he said, a short, rueful laugh escaping. “My father was buried yesterday. None of us kids were there, though. My mother wouldn’t have it. We’d betrayed her, she said. If we’d really loved her or my father, we wouldn’t have turned our backs on them all these years,” he said bitterly. “Thing is, she betrayed us. They both did. It all started way back, the year my father started raping my sister.” He stopped talking, clearly trying to rein in his fury.
“Margie tried to tell her.” He looked at Jacob, who had regained his composure. “She tried and she tried, but Mother wouldn’t believe her. None of the rest of us knew anything about what he was doing to her until he tried to do the same thing to you, Lauren.” Meeting her gaze, he continued. “We didn’t know, but if we had known, we would have taken care of it.”
She nodded, wiping her own tears away. “I know.”
“When Margie disappeared, after we found out what had happened, Jacob and I tried to find her,” he told them. “We didn’t have much money back then, but Jacob had worked for a couple of years and had some cash saved up. We borrowed some from Aunt Shannon and Uncle Earl, and we hired a detective. He couldn’t find her. It didn’t take long for the money to run out, and by then we’d pretty much decided that wherever she’d gone to, it was obvious she didn’t want to be found.” Walking up to the urn, he touched it gently.
“We never got to say goodbye,” he said softly. “She didn’t give us that option. Right now, it’s hard for me to think about the good times, because there was so much bitterness surrounding the last time we saw her. Maybe in time, I’ll be able to forgive her for that. I pray that I can. All I can say now is that I hope she’s at peace, wherever she is. That’s all.” He sat back down, resting his head in his hands. Shannon moved over to sit beside him and put her arm around his shoulders.
To Lauren’s surprise, Raven was the next to stand. “I’d like to say something.” He looked at her nervously and she gave him a small smile of encouragement. When he spoke again, his voice was firmer.
“I didn’t know Margie. I knew Charity.” He looked around, meeting gazes. “The person I knew was generous, caring, and stern. She worked her ass off to make her business succeed, and she enjoyed it. Yeah, she wasn’t the most morally pure person. She slept around, and she did it pretty regularly. I think she used men to punish herself. That’s just a guess, because I don’t think she enjoyed the things she did. But one of the things she did enjoy was helping someone make their first ‘real art’ purchase—that first piece of art that spoke to them. She especially loved it when a young person made that connection with art.”
He wiped his eyes and continued. “Another thing she enjoyed was, well, charities. She did a lot of that, especially charities related to women and children. No one ever knew.” Sam was nodding his agreement. “She didn’t do it for the glory, she did it because she could help people who were less fortunate than she was.”
“This is embarrassing to admit, but it is what it is, and I think it’s important that you all know. We got drunk one night about a year ago,” he told them, a little shamefaced. “I guess it’s no secret, but I’m gay. Coming out in a small town like Leroy? Not the easiest path to take. Well, for whatever reason, that night Charity and I started talking. She’d had a bad day, I’d had a bad day, and before we knew it, we were discussing our pasts. She never completely confided in me, but she said something that stuck with me. She said that she was just like me. Not the gay part,” he hurriedly added. “The part about having a terrible secret.”
“She said that when she was a teenager, she’d tried to tell people about something that had happened to her but no one believed her, and because of that, she was treated like a pariah. She couldn’t handle that, and she couldn’t change what had happened to her, so she ran. She told me that I was braver than she ever was, because
I had the courage to stay in my hometown and fight for myself. It was something she wasn’t able to do, and she said that she’d hurt a lot of people, leaving the way she did. She also said that in the course of leaving, she’d lost herself. Because of that, she could never go back, and she would regret that to her dying day.” He looked down at his feet, shuffling them a little. He looked back up.
“I just thought you all should know that. That she had regrets, and that she did think about her past.” As he made his way back to his chair, Lauren stood up and hugged him tight. After she let him go, she decided to take her turn.
Clasping her hands in front of her chest, she tried to figure out where to start. “I hated Margie for a long time for what she did to me. I also made some choices that hurt people, and deep inside, I blamed her for those choices. I married a man I never should have married, and thank God we were able to move past our marriage and become friends. We have a beautiful daughter, and I thank God for her, too, but things could have been so ugly…”
“Anyhow, after my marriage fell apart, I had to grow up pretty fast. I resented Margie for that, too. I’d struggled since I was sixteen to be a carefree teenager again, and that was gone forever. She’d helped take that away from me. I decided to get some counseling, at the urging of my extremely patient parents,” she said with a small smile for Win and Molly. “What I learned was that I had to forgive Margie in order to move on, and to forgive myself. I never did forgive Carl, though,” she told Jacob and Rob, shrugging lightly. “I just never was able to, still haven’t been.”
Jacob shook his head. “Some sins are unforgivable.”
“True. But I’m determined that man’s actions won’t ruin the rest of my life. He’s played a hand in so much of it already, and I’m not willing to let him have anymore.” She glanced at Charlie as she talked. Smoothing her hair back out of her face, she shook her head. “I don’t know how this turned into a group confessional, but that seems to be what it is,” she said, relieved when everyone chuckled.
“I understand what Margie did,” she told Jacob and Rob. “She didn’t have a choice. I know that now. She didn’t have anyone to turn to. The people who were supposed to protect her? They were the ones who hurt her the most. Carl probably groomed her to believe that no one would listen, and when she tried telling Mary Margaret, tried telling her teacher, they did exactly what Carl had said they would. Why would she try to tell anyone else?”
She told them what Ava had said, her dream about Charity, leaving out the personal details. “I think she is at peace, finally. I won’t tell you what she told Ava, not the specifics, but it was enough that Travis and I knew that it had to come from Charity. Ava wouldn’t have been able to come up with it on her own. I don’t know what’s going to be in my letter, but I hope that it answers some questions, and wherever she is, I hope that Margie is whole again.” She walked back over and sat down next to Charlie, who placed his arm around her and held her tightly.
Finally, it was Travis’ turn to speak. As he stood, he looked at Lauren and smiled. “My turn to confess.” He walked up to the urn and gently placed his hand on the rounded top. Clearing his throat, he began.
“I knew Margie a long time ago. We dated for a few months, and when she left, she broke my heart. When Lauren called and asked if I minded having her memorial here, I wanted to say yes. I did mind. But I couldn’t do that. See, Margie and I spent a lot of time here at the lake. I won’t bore you with the details,” he said, “but it was a very private, personal place for us. So I called Lauren back and told her that I was fine with having this here. And I am.” He smiled at Lauren again, sadly this time.
“I’ve been doing quite a bit of thinking, and I want to run something by everyone.” Turning to Jacob and Rob, he continued. “Margie loved fireworks. Remember that? Everything about them excited her. And when I learned that she had entrusted me with her ashes, wanted them scattered here at the lake, it just didn’t feel right. I tried and tried to reconcile my head with the idea, but I couldn’t. Well, I just happened to be flipping through the channels the other night and I came across a show about a pyrotechnic company. When I did, I remembered something I had heard about a couple years ago, and it all clicked into place.”
Jacob interrupted. “You want to shoot her ashes off in fireworks display, don’t you?”
Travis nodded. “I contacted a company out of Cincinnati that does that. What do you think?”
Jacob was smiling. “I think it’d be perfect. She’d love it. What does everyone else think?” He looked around the gazebo, where everyone was smiling.
“I think she’d be amazed,” Lauren said. “And delighted.”
“Then that’s what we’ll do,” Travis said. “When it’s ready, I’ll have you all back up here if you’d like.” He sighed. “Does anyone else want to speak?”
They all shook their heads, and he nodded. “Then why don’t we head back up to the house? I’ve had a friend come by and prepare some food, if any of you would like to stay.”
Everyone got up to leave, but Lauren tugged Charlie behind the others. “I need to speak to Travis privately for a minute.”
“Okay. I’ll try to contain myself.” He gave her a quick kiss. “Holler if you need me.” With an inscrutable look for Travis, he caught up with her parents and Shannon. Davis took the urn, and told Travis he would place it back in the house.
“That’s fine. Just put it back where we had it earlier, if you don’t mind.”
Alone with Travis on the gazebo, Lauren exchanged a sad smile with him. He opened his arms and she gave him a brief, fierce hug. He sighed, then let her go.
“So that’s the guy?”
“That’s him,” she confirmed, smiling.
“He seems very protective of you, very devoted. And he doesn’t like me at all. Does he make you happy?”
“He does,” Lauren answered, wonderingly. “He makes me laugh, and Ava adores him.”
“Then I’m happy for you,” Travis said. “Thanks for keeping Margie’s pregnancy a secret.”
“It wasn’t mine to share. Besides, her family didn’t need to know. There was already so much pain, that was the last thing they needed to hear.” She started walking slowly toward the house, and Travis fell into step beside her. “I hope that whatever she wrote to them in their letters, it brings them peace. They deserve it after all these years. As far as that goes, so do you.”
“I’m getting there,” he told her. “It isn’t easy, but knowing she didn’t kill our child helps.”
“I can only imagine.” As they neared the house, she laughed. “I can just imagine her delight and excitement about the fireworks. I can see her face, as clearly as if she were standing in front of me, Travis. She would absolutely love it.”
“It’s what she wanted. It’s just the method of delivery that’s changed.” They reached the deck and he ushered her inside. “I guess I’d better play host now.”
As they went inside, Lauren was surprised to see the young lady from the café, who had set up a large spread of food in the kitchen and dining room. Seeing her surprise, Travis shrugged.
“She can use the money, I needed a caterer.”
Lauren reached out and squeezed his arm. “You’re not quite the bad guy you let everyone think you are, are you?”
Travis laughed ruefully. “I can be. You’ve just never seen that side of me.”
~ * * * ~
After they’d eaten and guests started leaving, Travis pulled Charlie aside for a little talk. “I just wanted to have a word with you. Chances are we won’t see each other again for a while, and this might be the only chance I’ll have to tell you a couple of things.” Charlie eyed him warily and shifted his stance, waiting for the other man to continue.
“Lauren’s made it pretty clear that you’re it for her, and anyone with eyes can see how things are between the two of you,” Travis said. “I don’t expect that to change. People like you guys? You tend to mate for life.” Travis nodded.
“I checked you out. I wanted to make sure you were a worthy prospect.”
“Well, I can’t tell you how much that reassures me,” Charlie told him in a low voice. “I was just holding my breath, hoping you would approve.”
Travis sighed. “I didn’t mean it that way, and I think you know that. I just wanted you to know. I also wanted to tell you this—Lauren can come to me any time she needs to. She knows that, and that won’t change once you get married. I assume you’re heading that way?”
Charlie gave a short nod of acknowledgment. “We haven’t discussed it, but yes, that’s probably where we’ll end up.”
“I am happy for you, then. But if you ever hurt her, you’ll answer to me. She’s been through enough. She deserves happiness from here on out.”
Charlie didn’t respond for a moment, meeting Travis’ gaze head on. There was a steely thread in his voice when he finally spoke. “I agree. And while I appreciate your concern, I’m perfectly capable of protecting her.”
“Understood.” Travis held out his hand and they shook, satisfied that their territories would be respected. Lauren, who had been saying goodbye to everyone, came back in time to see the handshake. She gazed from Charlie to Travis.
“Everything okay?” she asked, moving to Charlie’s side. He placed his arm around her waist and drew her close.
“Everything’s fine,” he told her. “Ready to head out?”
“Yes. Mom and Dad are at the car.” Stepping over to Travis, she gave him a firm hug. “Take care of yourself.”
He smiled at her. “I’ll be fine,” he assured her. “You all have a safe drive back to Leroy.” He walked them out to the driveway, tipping an imaginary hat as she and Charlie went down the steps.
As they got into the vehicle, Charlie looked up and saw the mild slump of the other man’s shoulders as he turned and went back in his house. For a brief moment, he felt sorry for him. Knowing that the people who waited inside the SUV counted him as family, he felt blessed and gave thanks that he was the one getting in the vehicle, and not the one going back inside his empty house.