by J. L. Weil
I cringed at the voice I recognized behind me. It had been foolish to think she would have nothing to say for once. Rianne. My Holly Ridge High archenemy. Her voice alone made me cringe. There was still a lingering ribbon of hate harbored inside me from seeing her with Gavin at Tori’s party.
Jealousy reared its ugly head.
Keeping my back to her, I shuffled my feet on the gym floor. Rianne and one of her robotic minions sauntered toward me. She leaned a hand against the bleachers where I was standing.
Rianne looked like living, breathing Barbie. Her nose was always stuck in the air like her shit didn’t stink. Gym pretty much sucked balls on its own. I didn’t need Rianne making it unbearable, especially when we were doing a core strength unit, which meant rope climbing. Ugh. Someone shoot me now.
“Well, if isn’t bizarre Brianna.” Rianne was just plain cruel and took her popularity for granted in an enormous way.
“Say whatever it is you want to say and cut the crap,” I responded dryly.
“Someone has their granny panties in a wad.”
She was cruisin’ for a bruisin’. “Is there a point to this nonsense?” If there was one thing about Rianne, it was she liked to be in control, and she liked flare.
Rianne sneered. “You’re not much fun…but Gavin is.”
I should have seen this coming. She never missed the opportunity to point out that she could have any guy she wanted. “You mean my boyfriend?” It felt satisfying seeing the agitation in her eyes.
She recovered quickly. “For now…”
I was going to gouge her eyes out. Steam was starting to radiate off my skin.
Sitting on the mat, she stretching out her long legs. “He didn’t seem to have a girlfriend when he had his hand up my shirt. Did you know his lips taste like sex?”
Her bragging was nothing but petty lies and insecurities, but it didn’t make her bite any less harsh. Overcome with rage, my hands balled into fists at my side. I wanted to slam my curled hand into the center of her pretty face. My blood hummed.
I could feel it burning in my veins, whispering in my ear, promising me redemption.
“Rafferty! You’re up,” Ms. Jenson, our overly butch teacher, bellowed through the gymnasium.
After one last squinty glare, I broke eye contact and stepped up on the mats. Wiping my hands on my atrocious gym shorts, I got ready to make an utter fool of myself. Not exactly athletically inclined, I griped the rope with sweaty palms. My head tilted back, and the top looked a million miles away. I contemplated taking an F for the day, but the diligent student inside me wouldn’t allow it.
After five excruciating attempts to hoist myself up the rope and going nowhere, I gave up. My arms burned. Looking down the rope, the floor was just a few feet away. I dropped to the mat and dusted my hands off.
Rianne brushed past me, bumping lightly into my shoulder. “Kissing isn’t the only thing I excel at. Ask your boyfriend,” she said in a voice of molasses and vinegar.
“Blow it out your ass,” I retorted. My teeth clenched until my jaw started to throb.
Rianne flipped her long blonde hair up in a messy ponytail, before putting both hands on the corded rope. She turned to me and flashed me a devious grin. I shot poisonous daggers at her in return, my whole body seething as images flickered in my head. Rianne wrapped around Gavin. Her hands in his silky hair. Her mouth on his lush lips.
Eventually, all I saw was red. “Bitch,” I mumbled under my breath.
I watched as Rianne climbed the rope, the amethyst in my irises radiating like a cat at night. With each hand she clasped higher than the other on the twine, like a damn monkey, my magic increased. It happened like a bad dream. Every tiny detail I envisioned began to unfold. My entire body came alive, tingling with power and something more.
Different.
Darker.
It was exciting, yet terrifying. And I seemed helpless to stop what I set in motion.
Holy black caldrons.
She was about to make her descent back down when her hands, for unexplained reasons, let go of the thick rope. Rianne’s curvy form fell ten feet in the air, flat on her ass. The sound of her butt hitting the gym mat was bittersweet. All the other girls loitering around gasped, a few snickered.
I’d done that. Everyone else in the gymnasium might not know what really happened, but I did. And it didn’t sit well in my stomach. It wasn’t like me to steep so low. I was Glenda the good witch— at least that was who I was striving to be.
Embarrassed and horrified at what had happened, I realized I could have seriously hurt her. Such darkness. I could have killed her, whispered something deep inside me. No one would have been the wiser.
Rianne pushed the escaped hair out of her very red face eyes overflowing with accusations pinned me in the crowd. “You did this,” she spat, like a crazy person. “You made me fall off the rope, you freak-a-zoid. You’ll pay.”
I could do nothing but stare.
She was right.
Ms. Jenson kneeled beside Rianne, asking her questions. She put an arm under her and helped the distraught bully hobble to the nurse. Rianne looked over shoulder, giving me the evil eye.
Oh joy.
Chapter 24
AFTER SCHOOL, I WAS IN a mood. The whole Rianne thing had me stressed out. Gavin repeatedly eyed me warily, sensing my weird behavior, and I was seriously trying to act normal. Obviously, I was failing miserably.
“Want to make-out?” He coughed. “I mean hang out?”
My lips curved. His mention of making-out got me thinking about the other night. I never had gotten the chance to ask him about the merging our magic. It had been on an entirely different plane of hot. ”The other night while we were…you know, kissing.”
He smirked at my discomfort.
I pressed on. “Did you know that we could share magic like that?”
He tossed an arm behind the couch, angling toward me. “I knew it was possible. I’ve just never done it with anyone before; never wanted to, I guess.”
My stomach tightened and warmth blossomed all over me. “I had no idea.”
He leaned closer. “There is a lot you don’t know. And plenty more I could teach you.” His lips grazed my cheekbone.
Oh, I just bet. I shifted on the couch, putting some space between us. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t get any answers as I was already almost at the point of distraction. “It felt so surreal. Do you think that’s normal?”
His brows buried together. “Probably not. With you, it’s never as I expect.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled, slouching lower in the couch. Flashbacks of Rianne’s tumbling to ground played on repeat in my head. What a day.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, twirling the loop at his lip.
I nodded and swallowed a golf ball-sized lump. “Yeah. I just have to cram for this test and you’re a disruption.”
“I am?” He skirted the back of my neck with his skillful fingers.
Duh. I rolled my eyes. “You know you are. I need this class to graduate,” I added, laying it on thick. He knew how important school was to me.
Leaning in, he pressed a light kiss on my lips. “I’ll call you tonight,” he promised.
I was reluctant to let him go, but I needed to sort my head out. Once he was gone, I climbed the stairs two at a time. Alone in my room, I sat cross-legged in the middle of the floor. Lunar was curled in my lap, looking at me with sad eyes. It was as if he could sense my inner turmoil.
Smart kitty.
I scratched the top of his head to comfort both him and me. I needed to get a grip on my power. One minute I was blowing out windows and freezing time, and then I’m dropping people from ten feet in the air.
No time like the present. I took a deep breath, centering myself. Magic should be fun, I reasoned. All work and no play makes Brianna a dull girl.
I blinked and called forth the light inside me. Each time it became easier and easier. Staring intently at the door leading to the hal
lway, I visualized the lock turning. The click sounded like a gunshot in the silent house. It gave me such an immense satisfaction—not just that I had succeeded, but using the magic was gratifying.
Easy peasy.
Now for something a little more complex. First thing that popped into my head was the gentle glow of lights. Not just one lamp, but all of the lights, at least in my house. I didn’t want to blow the city up accidently. I wasn’t going to let my power go to my head. I’m a grounded kind of gal.
Sending my concentration to the hub of electric power flowing through me, I only needed to think what I wanted. With my luck, overthinking would blow a circuit in my brain. Slow and steady, I reminded myself. Watching in awe, all the lights in the house flicked off and on—over and over again. It was pretty cool, actually. Who needed a light switch when you had magic? When I got bored of that I moved onto something less strenuous on the eyes.
For the first time, practicing and doing spells felt less like a chore and more natural. I started to believe in myself and believed I was a witch. Not just any witch, but a kickass witch.
The doorbell rang before I let my head drift too far in the clouds. Bolting up, Lunar gave a strangled meow at being disturbed from his spot on my lap. I dashed down the stairs, sliding over the rug in front of the door before throw it opened. A beam of sunlight glared in my eyes, forcing me to squint as I focused on the figure outside my door.
Sophie.
Her dark hair shadowed over her face, a face that looked disgruntled. Her usually glittery sapphire eyes were serious and slightly lost.
I leaned a hand on the doorframe. “Hey,” I said, winded. “Is everything okay?” My heart jackhammered in my chest as my thoughts strayed to Gavin. Maybe something had happened after he had left here.
Please God, no.
“I don’t know. Maybe.” Her eyes were scanning a circle around me. “I think so.”
I smeared my sweaty hands on my jeans. “Okay, now you’re freaking me out. Which is it?”
“Are you alone?” she asked, glancing behind me.
“Uh, yeah.”
“Good.” She strolled through the door. “We’ve got to talk.”
I gulped. “Gavin—”
She waved an artful hand in the air, moving into the living area. “My egotistical brother is fine.”
I released the breath I’d been holding, trailing behind her.
“It’s you I’m worried about.” Her colorful dress swirled out around her as we sat on the sofa.
“Me?” I echoed. What was she talking about?
She nodded her head, earrings jingling with the movement. “Your aura… It’s—” She started, and then stopped as if she was unsure how to phrase her words. “The black hole in your aura…it’s bigger.”
“Bigger?” These one-word responses were getting old, but I couldn’t seem to form anything articulate.
Again she nodded, crystal eyes warm with concern and uncertainty. “I did some digging and asked around, and from what I gathered, the darkness is chipping away at your aura. Weakening it.”
“Come again.”
“Point blank…you’ve been using black magic.”
My mouth dropped far enough to hit the earth’s crust. To say I was shocked was an understatement. “How is that possible?” But even as I spit the words, I thought about what had happened today in gym. What I had done to Rianne. It might have been satisfying, yet it had also felt wicked.
“Honestly, I don’t know. Your aura is the first I’ve seen with these missing pieces. Maybe you’ve used it without knowing.”
“Does it feel different…when you use black magic?”
“From what I’ve heard, it’s like a drug. Once you’ve used it, there is a pull that calls to you, sucking you in for more. It’s addictive in the worst way. All magic comes with a price.”
None of what she said made me feel any better. I felt worse. Monumentally worse. Slumping into the corner of the cushions, I wished I could just disappear from my life. “Something happened today,” I whispered, barely audible.
She didn’t say anything, just waited patiently for me to go on. I hadn’t figured out why I hadn’t told Gavin, but I think that deep down in some cobweb part of my brain, I knew what I did wasn’t good. “Today in gym I used magic to hurt someone. It wasn’t like the other times—it was different. There was this soft voice inside me, egging me on. I dropped Rianne on her ass like I was swatting a fly.”
“Have you told anyone?” A thoughtful look crossed her face.
“Nope. You’re the only one who knows the truth.”
Her lips pursed. “I just don’t know. That seems more like a prank, but something doesn’t add up. I can see it, yet it’s not clear. The only thing I can see for certain is that you’re at the center. There is this foggy mist blocking my view.” She sounded frustrated and scared. “Something is telling me that there was a reason you were never told of your heritage—never told of your powers.”
“Probably because I’m worse than the wicked witch of Oz. There’s darkness inside me,” I said, dejected.
Sophie shook her head. “These missing pieces in your aura are just splinters. The rest of you is pure, vibrant, and filled with nothing but goodness. Especially when you’re not shitty on yourself.”
I snorted. “Thanks.”
The corners of her mouth lifted. “What are friends for? We’re going to figure this out. My brother might be a bonehead, but he is relentless, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to keep the girl he loves safe.”
Hearing that Gavin loved me cracked through my self-pity and sadness. It gave me hope, even if he hadn’t yet said the three little words my heart was longing to hear. It gave me something to cling to, that it might just be possible for me to overcome or get through whatever this dark spot in my life was.
“Okay, so what should we do?” I asked, ready to tackle this invisible mountain.
She folded her hands in her lap and said seriously, “Simple. We find what spells trigger the blackness.”
I plopped my head on the back of the couch, closed my eyes, and groaned. Simple, my scrawny butt.
Chapter 25
MY PHONE BLINKED WITH ANOTHER message from Lukas. This was like the umpteenth one since the party last weekend. Someone was feeling some serious regret. Good, let him stew.
You can’t ignore me forever.
Sure, I can. Really? I sent back. This was my response after loads of dismissed messages. He was persistent. I’d give him that. And I couldn’t ignore him forever, not without flushing my phone down the toilet.
He sent a text back in record time. I’m sorry, okay? How many times do I have to say it?
At least a hundred more. I couldn’t help it. The two guys who were most important to me hated each other’s guts. It tore me in half.
My phone vibrated. Be real.
I wasn’t really being fair. He hadn’t been the only one involved in the whole incident at Tori’s. I’d easily forgiven Gavin, why had I not yet forgiven Lukas? If I was going to be honest with myself, it was partially to do with my new relationship status. I was avoiding Lukas because I knew that I had to tell him that Gavin was my boyfriend.
I needed to firmly tell Lukas to keep the lines between us from crossing any boundaries. Friends. That’s what we were. Something like this was probably better face-to-face, but I was chicken. One glimpse had those dimples and I was afraid what I might agree to. I was taking the easy way out. Not in person, but a text was impersonal. A call seemed like a happy medium. It worked for me.
Before I lost my nerve, I hit his preloaded number in my phone and waited on the other end to hear his sunny voice.
“So does this mean I am forgiven?” No hello. Or what’s up, Brianna?
I snickered. “Yeah. I guess it does, but—”
He groaned. “I hate buts.”
I didn’t blame him. “I wanted you to hear this from me.” There was a long awkward pause, and I took a deep breath. “Loo
k, I know things between you and Gavin are…tense, but I don’t want you and my boyfriend—”
“Boyfriend?” he interrupted
Oh, right. The whole reason I called him. I thumbed the palm of my hand on my forehead. Way to go, doofus. I sighed. This wasn’t going as well as I planned. “That’s what I was trying to tell you.”
Long pause. “I see.”
“This doesn’t change anything. Not with us. I still want to be your friend. I still want to practice with you.” I rushed the words out.
“You know how I feel about you. I don’t want to be just your friend. I don’t know if I can do that.” There was pain in his voice, and anger.
Was I always destined to hurt people I cared about?
My voice was thick with tears. My throat closed. “I-I’m sorry.” I hardly managed to speak.
The phone clicked in my ear.
Shit.
I don’t know what I expected, but tears hadn’t crossed my mind. Falling onto my pillow, a stream of tears ran down my cheeks, and like every other time my emotions got the best of me, my bedroom window pelted with the pitter-patter of raindrops.
I hated to cry, but recently, the waterworks kept coming. At some point, I would have to exhaust all my tears.
After a good, long cry, and a pint of triple chocolate ice cream drizzled with an enormous amount of chocolate syrup, I wasn’t exactly feeling any better, but my conscience was clear. And now I had a bellyache. Talk about a sugar high. What I needed was something to take my mind off my life. Magic. Lukas. Black auras. The whole kit and caboodle. Drowning in junk food hadn’t worked. It was Saturday night, and I was alone, wiping dry tear tracks from my cheeks, wishing I wasn’t hurting, that I hadn’t hurt someone else.
I spent the rest of the day on my bed, licking the spoon and wondering if what I was about to do was a stupid idea. Lord knows I was full of them.
There was one person who had the answers I sought. Morgana. I still couldn’t think of her as my great grandma, nor did I really understand how we communicated.