by J. L. Weil
Gavin smashed his fist into the center of his gut. “Shut up,” he roared.
In any other situation, I might have laughed.
But it didn’t matter what pleas Lukas emitted—it was too late. He threatened me—and what was mine. I gathered all that I had, and with sad eyes, I hurled my light, my darkness, my power. It struck Lukas in the heart, blinding me. Lightness and darkness swirled, for I had both.
The first taste of his magic was idyllic—a high with no equivalent—the sweetest forbidden nectar. I let the stream of his energy flow into me, pumping my veins with a sensation like nothing I’d ever felt. I didn’t need to be a sorceress or a rocket scientist to realize that I was being pumped full of dark magic.
Lukas had more than dabbled in the darkness.
Like a dam bursting, I was flooded with so much power it bordered on painful. I panicked and almost broke the connection. It was Morgana who gave me the last bit of strength I needed. Her shimmery form stood beside me, offering her light—her guidance. She placed a hand on my shoulder, and I lifted my chin.
Pushing past my anguish, I held on, praying that when this was over, I wouldn’t be an utter basket case. Morgana’s outline flickered, signaling that her spirit in this plane would not last much longer. We both knew that this was it—our final goodbye. Everything seemed to be coming down on me at once. When it rains, it pours. I was losing so much in just a blink.
A friend.
A grandma.
My soul.
On one last raspy gasp, the link I had to Lukas fractured. A bitter flamed burned inside me, spreading from the very tips of my toes to the split ends in my hair. I wouldn’t have been surprised if my hair was floating in the air like I’d been given the world’s biggest noogie with a balloon.
Oh man. Ohmanohmanohman.
I had done the unspeakable—again.
Experience taught me that in the aftermath, I operated on a no-touch policy. I was numb to the core. What I had done would cost me dearly. Lukas had been powerful, and his magical roots an deep. There would be a steep pricing for stripping him naked—leaving him human.
I felt it crawl inside me—pure evil.
What an odd thing it was to be powerless one moment and a witch on steroids the next. That’s how it felt…like I had become a witch overnight.
“It will pass,” Morgana said, suddenly in front of me. The black dress she wore was faded gray, and her form was sheer. I could see right through her. There were so many emotions swimming in her violet eyes. “And when it does, you must find a way to counter the stains on your soul. You won’t have long.”
I choked on a sob, not knowing how to say all the words that were running through my head. “I wish we had more time,” I whispered. There was still so much I didn’t know, so many uncertainties. What if I wasn’t able to fight the blackness?
She brushed a piece of hair out of my face, her touch a warm glow. “Blessed be, granddaughter. You did well.” With one last lash of the wind, she was gone, and the cold carved deep in my bone.
I fell to my knees. Sweat soaked me. Fire and ice flowed through my veins in a waging war against each other. Footsteps trotted behind me. Gavin sunk down beside me, but was careful not to touch me. “How did you know?” I asked in a weak voice. My energy was depleted, and my throat scratchy.
His gaze searched my face. “Because no one can make a storm like you can.”
My lips curved in a feeble smile. “For once, I’m glad.”
Brows drawn tight, he said, “I just wish I had been here sooner—”
I put a finger to his lips, trying to avoid the cut, silencing him. “Don’t. You got here. That’s all that matters.”
The moon’s glow dusted over his face. His closeness in itself gave me comfort. “I’ll find a way to save you. I promise,” he vowed.
There was such determination in his voice and eyes, that I even believed him. “Lukas?” I asked, wondering if he was okay. He would never forgive me, but I was okay with that. At least he wouldn’t be able to hurt me anymore, or anyone else, for that matter. He needed to be humbled, and I thanked God I had Gavin as my anchor, or I might have ended up as power- hungry as Lukas.
Gavin glanced over his shoulder to where Lukas’ body had been. “He’s gone.”
My shoulders slumped.
Suddenly I was crying—an ugly cry. Maybe it was the residual adrenaline from the fight, or that I had just stolen magic from someone I once considered a friend. Gavin gathered me in his arms, shielding me from the rain the drizzled down on us.
Chapter 24
“No way am I leaving you alone. And I’m not asking you, I am telling you that you’re spending the night with me.” Gavin shoved his hands into his back pockets, glowering.
Under any other circumstances, I would have jumped at the chance to be in his bed. I opened my mouth, but I was too weary to argue. Lukas hadn’t disappeared off my worry radar, and it was obvious that Gavin felt the same. Now that I had a moment to breathe, I didn’t want to be alone.
I exhaled. “Let me grab a quick bag and text my aunt.” The slightest movements, even one as small as breathing, ached. I hurt in places I didn’t know could be sore. It was a strange feeling. I was engorged with power, but I had no outlet to release it. My body couldn’t keep up with the tornado going on inside me. It shocked my system.
Gavin was also worse for wear. His shirt was torn at the hem and had blood dribbles down the front. A purplish-yellow bruise had started to form at the apple of his left cheek and just under the eye.
I reached for his hand, the cuts over his knuckles catching my eye. Seeing him like this made me wish I had the ability to heal. I pressed a soft kiss to his hand. “Thank you for always being here.”
He cracked a smile. “I love a good bashing now and again.”
My throat constricted. I couldn’t ask someone to love me more. “Good. I think I am the kind of girl that has trouble following her everywhere.”
Wrapping his arm over my shoulder, he replied, “I know you are.”
He helped me to my feet, and together we more or less wobbled into the house. Lunar, happy to see anyone, started weaving in and out of our legs as we tackled the stairs. He was such an attention hog, but I couldn’t resist picking him up and nuzzling the little fuzz-ball.
The first thing I noticed when I entered my room was the beams of light struggling to break through my white curtains. I took it as a sign. The storm had passed, and things could always be worse—no one died. Looking at the room of my childhood, I knew things could never go back to how they used to be. I had to look toward the future and come to terms with my decisions, no matter how harsh they might seem now.
Taut lines appeared at the corners of Gavin’s mouth. “You okay?”
I stretched up, securing my arms around his neck. “I am now.”
He lowered his head, resting his chin on my shoulder. Letting my eyes fall shut, minutes passed with only the sound of the whistling winds and the occasionally dripping of water. His heart beat strong and steady against mine. That’s what he meant to me—strong and steadfast.
His arms tightened.
Regrettably, I stepped out of his embrace and went to my dresser. Opening the drawer, my hands shook slightly—not completely okay after all, but I would get there. I tossed random crap into a beach bag in record time. The sooner we got out of here, the better. I wanted… I didn’t know what I wanted, but I knew that I wanted to be away from here—at least for the time being. The wounds were still raw, and a change in scenery might do me some good.
Gavin leaned against the wall, waiting patiently, and when I stopped fluttering around the room, he asked, “Ready?”
I bit my lip and nodded.
On the car ride to Gavin’s house, I sent my aunt a text telling her that I was spending the night at Sophie’s. Her short response back lifted the little bit of guilt I was feeling. She was going to be staying the night at Chad’s. Her first sleepover. I tried not to make a big
deal out of it. You would have thought that I was the parent here—worrying obsessively, but knowing she wouldn’t be alone made all the difference.
The what-ifs would always haunt me. What if I can’t be saved? What if Gavin decided I was hazardous? What if I hurt someone? My soul might forever be hellbound.
By the time Gavin pulled into his driveway, I had worked myself up to the point that I felt like I was going to hurl. There was no telling what was going to happen.
There was a warm, inviting aroma of cinnamon and spice when we walked into his house. A candle burned on the dining room table, and there were soft voices coming from the back porch—female laughter—Sophie and her mom.
Soundlessly, he tugged me upstairs, shutting the door to his room behind us. “I thought before the hordes get a look at us, we should change,” he said at the same time he yanked his shirt over his head.
My mouth went dry.
He lifted a brow. “You can use the bathroom first.”
I tore my eyes from his abs. “W-what?” My mind had gone blank, and I hadn’t processed anything he’d said.
Gavin grinned, eyes twinkling. “I said, you take the bathroom first. There are fresh towels in the closet.”
“Oh.” I might have stared another minute or two before hiking my bag higher on my shoulder and moving into the plush bathroom.
Behind closed doors, I refused to fall apart, so I washed my face, ran a brush through my matted hair and threw it into a messy knot on my head. I would win no beauty pageants, but I no longer looked like death. Slipping into a pair of sweats and a tank, I shoved my old ones into the bag and made a mental note to burn them later.
I reemerged feeling almost human again—and alone. Gavin was nowhere in sight. Curiously, I traced my finger along the edge of his bed, walking toward the open balcony door. The breeze from the ocean was flapping the stone-colored curtains. I stepped outside and inhaled deeply, loving the fresh scent of sea and sand.
The view was breathtaking, nothing but the lapping of foamy waves. I could lose myself in the beauty of the endless ocean. My tattoo began to tingle, and I didn’t need to turn around to know that Gavin had joined me. I welcomed his warmth as his arms circled my waist from behind.
I leaned against his chest. He rested his face against mine, propping his chin on my shoulder. Strands of his wet hair tickled my cheeks. “I had to board up the door to keep Sophie from barging in,” he murmured.
Just the deep timbre of his voice had the fireflies in my belly making an appearance. “Is it okay that I am here?”
“Sophie isn’t the only one who is concerned.” Keeping an arm secured at my hip, he reached for something behind him on the ledge. “My mom ordered me to have you drink this.” He handed me a clear glass with a yellow substance.
I took the swirling opaque fluid. Concoctions always made me leery, especially when they had a magical mist emitting from them. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Gavin’s mom, because I did, but I was a picky eater, and this bordered into the strange and unusual food group.
He smirked at my hesitation. “I promise it tastes better than it looks. It will just ease the aches and pains.”
Now that he mentioned it, all the small cuts and bruising was gone from his face. His mom was handy to have around. Regardless of what he said, I braced myself for the nasty aftertaste. Surprisingly, there was none. It was tasteless.
“Are you hungry?” he asked, releasing me and leaned against the porch rail.
I shook my head, turning around to face him. There was no way I could eat, not with my stomach twisting and turning. I might not eat again. “Morgana was there,” I blurted, out of the blue.
His eyes narrowed. “What did that witch say?”
The way he said “witch”, implied that he was calling her a foul name. I imagined she would have gotten a kick out of it. Suddenly, my heart felt heavy—burdened. “She said goodbye.”
The whole demeanor on his face changed. Sympathy glistened in his eyes. “That must have been hard.”
“It was. I never thought I would end up caring about her so much.” She had, in her own way, saved me.
Shifting his weight, he crossed one leg over another. “Love works in mysterious ways.”
That it did—mysterious and sometimes demented ways. Lukas’s so-called claim that he loved me was proof. A bitter taste filled the back of my throat. “I tore the magic right from his soul.” Tears welled up and spilled down my cheeks before I could stop them.
He grabbed my hand. “Bri, you did what you had to do.”
It sounded reasonable, but did I? Was there not any other way? My control slipped. This whole time I had convinced myself that I would never use dark magic, but when it came down to it, at the first sign of trouble, that was exactly what I had done. And the worst part was, I would do it again. If it meant protecting Gavin, I wouldn’t blink. “I’m a monster,” I whispered.
“What?” Disbelief laced his tone. “How can you think that?”
“Did you see what I did to him?”
He placed his hands on my shoulders, his brows wrinkled in concern. “And if you hadn’t, Lukas would have done worse, to you and me both. The difference is, you used your powers to protect. You acted out of self-defense. Lukas used them for greed and personal gain.”
I dragged a lungful of air. “It’s hard to admit out loud, but I would do it again. If anyone threatened you or my aunt, I wouldn’t hesitate.”
He made a sound in the back of his throat, and then pulled me into his arms. The tears came. My shoulders shook as I purged myself, overcome with guilt. Gavin held me close, rocking me, rubbing my back. When the tears stopped, he pulled back, grasping my face in his hands. “You look like you are about to drop dead on your feet.”
I gave a wet snort. “Is that your way of telling me I look like crap?”
There was a glimmer of a smirk on his lips, not the full, heart-stopping kind, but it still touched me. “Hardly. In my eyes, you could never look anything but beautiful. I know you are good inside, and no spell is going to tell me otherwise.”
I laughed. “That was so cheesy.”
He kissed the tip of my nose. “You loved it.”
I did, because I loved him. His words, all teasing aside, wrapped around me, filling me with warmth. He might not be able to wash away all my fears, or the guilt weighing inside me, but for the moment, they were what I needed.
His hands trailed down my bare arms. “You should lie down, or I could carry you…”
Clearly, I was going to get off my feet, one way or the other. The question was whether or not he was going to have to force me. “Only if you come with me,” I countered, knowing he was right. I was feeling pale and lightheaded.
His answer was to twine our fingers.
Wordlessly, I climbed on the bed and scooted over, making room for him. He slid under the covers, tucking me into his arms. I rested my head on his chest, just under his chin and felt him brush his lips against my hair.
We lay there, talking about nothing and everything, passing the time. He made me laugh when I didn’t think I could, taking my mind off the heavy stuff. Our arms and legs were tangled together. The sun had gone down, and it was nearing midnight when I let a yawn.
A wicked glint lit in his eyes. “I know what you need.” His hand traveled over my hip, then dipped at the waist. The mischief in his smoky blue eyes told me just what he had in mind.
I held my breath. “Oh yeah, and what might that be?” I drew a heart with my finger over his heart.
He ran his finger down my cheek. “I think it’s better if I show you,” he said in a sinful tenor, easing me gently on my back.
I beamed. “What are you waiting for?” I was impatient to lose myself in what he offered.
Grinning, he bent down and took my mouth, slanting his head to get the perfect fit. My eyes fluttered shut, and the fireflies in my belly went wacko. I ran my fingers into the still slightly damp hair that curled at the nape of his neck. A
faint spark jumped from my skin to his.
Turned out, he meant kissing and stuff. I needed a little bit of both.
I moved, throwing my leg over his. I flicked my tongue across his silver hoop, sending us both into frenzy. He growled, deepening the kiss and emptying my brain. Every inch of my skin was sensitive to his touch, heating and glimmering as his fingertips teased me. From there things went to sauna hot. Clothing bunched up. Sheets pushed aside.
My lips felt swollen from his silky kisses. God, he was just so damn good at it.
Squeezing a hand at my hip, his tongue swirled in my mouth, and my heart slammed against my ribs.
Holy awesome sauce.
“Make me forget, if just for a night,” I murmured. My voice broke as he nipped at my lip.
Thick, long lashes hooded eyes like the color of the ocean’s floor—dark and blue. “I can do that,” he whispered.
I shivered.
In the background, waves splashed in a romantic melody, singing in harmony with the sounds of nature. It was like one of those relaxation CDs my aunt pumped through the shop’s speakers.
Sliding his lips from mine, he briefly nuzzled my ear, and then at the hollow of my neck. Not even the cool breeze from the sea could give my flushed body relief. I was burning from the inside out. The weight of him did wicked things to my thoughts.
Hubba hubba.
I balled my hands into the sheets, gripping tight in an attempt to keep myself from flying off the bed. Just like the first time, it was sweet, ignitable, and dazzling. Not once did I think about Lukas, my deteriorating soul, or the fact that Gavin’s mom was somewhere in the house.
But something was different. Me.
Inside my head, I could hear a dark voice whispering—enticing. I couldn’t make out the words, however the intent was crystal clear—it was vile. My head shook from side to side on the pillow. I had to stop. I couldn’t be with Gavin. Not with this gloominess flowing in my veins. I had a harder time convincing my body to pull away. It thrived under his touch, curving into the hard planes of his torso. But my body wasn’t alone in its desire, my magic also responded—humming at the surface.