by Tori Alvarez
I sit up at her declaration, watching her get up from the floor, a floral box in hand. She places the box on the bed in front of me. It is filled with different items: a spiral with notes, memories, and lists in her writing fill the pages; a few bank statements which seem unnecessary since there is no money; pictures; a small jewelry box; and a manila envelope.
I open the manila envelope, sliding the contents on the bed. There are envelopes with each of our names, including my mom and uncle, and a notarized letter stating her wishes for the house. She has left the house to the three of us. A notebook page folded in half is also included.
Unfolding it, I see her handwriting. I fold it again, placing everything back, closing the box, and taking it to the living room.
Garrett is walking in with Javie, bags in hand.
“I think Lola found what we need.”
“What?” Alex says behind me from the kitchen.
“I think all we need is in this box,” I answer him.
“You know what’s in there?” he presses.
“Not everything. I want to open it with y’all.”
Javie comes close to me, lifting the box out of my hands and taking the lid off to view the scattered items.
“Let’s eat first,” Alex says. He may be procrastinating reading the documents because he knows it will be all too real when we finally see those things.
Lola is already in the kitchen, helping set everything out. She is placing plates for each of us, along with glasses and soda, on the table. I watch Alex sit first, his shoulders slumping. Each of us takes a chair as Lola is opening the foil-wrapped tacos and calling out what belongs to whom. It’s silent around the table except the sound of chewing.
“Holy moly, that jalapeno is hot!” Lola exclaims, breaking the silence. Everyone looks up from their plates at her as she fans her mouth and gulps water.
A round of laughter fills the air. The two new people I have brought into our lives have brought light to our usual jaded lives.
“Try milk. It will work better.” Alex gets up from his seat, pouring her a small glass.
She takes it from him, chugging it down before tossing the offending food on a napkin.
“I’m just dragging this out,” Alex says, grabbing the box from the counter and placing it on the table. He lifts the lid, and I grab the manila envelope.
“We each have a letter in here from her, but this note isn’t addressed to anyone.” I pull that one out first.
“Read it,” Javie says.
“Do y’all want some privacy?” Garrett asks as I unfold the letter.
“Nah. Stay here,” Alex answers, sitting down again.
To Alejandro, Javier, and Antonia,
I loved having you in my life. I hope I did a better job the second time around. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you more, but I did the best I could. I hope I made up for you not having your parents in your life. You will not need to worry when I die. The house belongs to you. Even though you weren’t always good, you have made me proud. You didn’t have to take care of me, but you did. Thank you. When I pass, go to Garcia’s Mortuary. I made plans there.
All of my love,
Guela
The letter is written in Spanish, but I read it in English for everyone.
“Here is a notarized letter stating her wishes for the house to go to us.” I pull out the sheet I had seen earlier and hand it to Alex and Javie so they can read it.
“She planned this.” Alex sounds surprised.
“I’m sure she knew she wouldn’t live forever, so this was her way of continuing to take care of y’all,” Lola speaks softly.
I hand each of them their letters and place my mom’s and uncle’s in the middle of the table.
“This is it,” Javie whispers. I don’t know if he meant for us to hear or was speaking to himself, but I had the same thought.
Nothing will ever be the same. Guela was our magnet, always bringing us together. I wonder, with her gone, if I will still have my cousins. Especially since Alex has been working so hard to keep me away. The letter she meant for me is clutched in my hands, a deep curiosity about what it says, but knowing when I do, it will be the end. Garrett’s arm comes around my back and pulls me close.
I glance up, checking on my cousins, to find Lola hugging Javie from behind. Her head is laying at the top of his back as her arms are wrapped around his broad back. She’s tiny compared to him. His head is down, face tucked carefully in his crossed arms on the table. Alex is stone-faced, as usual, staring at nothing. I’ve always wondered what goes through his mind.
Garrett
Toni is sleeping peacefully in my bed after the emotional rollercoaster she has been riding. I knew she needed to sleep, but she wanted to continue doing things. I coaxed her into taking a Tylenol PM so she could rest. All the worry lines between her brows she has been wearing for the past week have softened.
I step outside so that I do not disturb her while I call my mom. It rings several times before I hear her, “Hello, son.”
“Hi, Mom. Hope I didn’t disturb you.”
“Of course not. I’m just sitting here, reading. Why do I get the pleasure of speaking to you?”
“Remember the girl I told you about the last time I was home? We got back together.”
“I’m happy for you…but I’m confused why you’re telling me. You don’t normally share these things with me.”
“Because she’s the one. And I need help.”
“You did not get that poor girl pregnant, did you?”
A laugh erupts that I can’t control. After drowning in Toni’s sadness, it feels good, even if it means my mom thinks I am in the wrong.
“Would you stop laughing and explain?” My mom now sounds exasperated.
“Sorry. I just can’t believe that would be your first thought of me.”
I proceed to tell my mom everything about her, even where she works, her family, and her grandmother. My mom listens intently and asks questions. I know her heart is breaking just like mine did when I found out everything she was hiding from me and the reason.
“So, they found a notarized letter from her grandmother, leaving them the house. I just don’t know if that’s enough for them to keep it from their parents.”
“I’m not sure about that, Son, but I will call the lawyer in the morning.”
“Thank you. Also, you are going to see a large charge for food on my card. I’m going to hire someone to cater after the funeral.”
“I would expect nothing less. Have you thought about the floral spray?”
“The what?” What is she talking about?
“Never mind. Text me her grandmother’s favorite flowers or colors. I’ll handle that. Send me all the information. Your dad and I will be there.”
“You don’t have to. I don’t think I want to introduce you to Toni on such a sad day.”
“It’s the sad days when people need community the most. We will be there, whether you choose to introduce us or not. Love you, Son. Don’t forget the favorite flowers or colors.” She hangs up, knowing I would try and argue with her some more.
My whole life, I never considered how easy my life had been. I never had to wonder if my parents would be there for me. It was a given they would be there to handle everything, cheer me on, support me, and guide me. I never considered others didn’t have what I had.
We arrive at the funeral home early so that Alex, Javie, and Toni can have time alone before others show up. I sit on the bench behind them, Toni in between her cousins. As difficult as the days leading up to this were, this is going to be so much more emotional. This will be their goodbye. Toni is at the casket after Alex and Javie each take a turn. I can tell she is crying, her body betraying how quiet and strong she wants to appear. Alex turns around, looking at me and giving me a nod to go to her. I listen and bring her back to sit.
Sitting in her grandmother’s backyard, watching the people come and go, some talking to the kids, others talking to their pa
rents. I wish Toni’s mom would say something nice to her sometime during the day, but I haven’t seen them speak at all. My mom had found a company to not only cater but to also supply tents, tables, and chairs so they could host at the house.
Looking around, I don’t see Toni in the backyard, so I make my way inside to find her. As I walk through the living room, I see her hugging my mom. Toni’s head is laying on my mom’s shoulder, and her arms are wrapped around my mom’s waist. An intimate hug you share with someone you trust. Watching them, I know we are going to be fine. Mom has brought her into the family.
Prologue
Toni
Graduation is something I had only dreamed of. I was working for it, but hidden in the back of my mind, I wasn’t sure if it would really happen for someone like me. We worked so hard to get me to cross the stage. With Garrett’s help, I’ve come to see I may not have had the ‘normal’ family, but I had all the support I needed. I didn’t just get the support, but I gave it, too. We all worked in tandem to ensure we were taken care of. According to Garrett, this is exactly what family does: work together for the success of the whole.
A knock on the door breaks me out of my thoughts.
“We’re here!” Mrs. Anders walks in with Mr. Anders behind her.
She comes straight for me, hugging me tightly. “I’m so proud of you,” she whispers in my ear. Four simple words bring tears to my eyes. A woman I’ve only known for about six months has become one of my biggest cheerleaders. I have been able to share so much with her without judgment. She has acted as more of a mom to me in this short time than my own mom has. I texted my mom the graduation date and time, but I have not heard back from her.
“Do I get a hug, too?” Garrett whines, coming out of his bedroom.
“You said when we started dating, you were sharing,” I tease him back as I let his mom go so she can congratulate him also.
“Your mom insisted on stopping by before we head to the graduation. We are on our way. When are you all leaving?” Mr. Anders pipes in, trying to get us all to hurry.
“We are leaving now,” Garrett answers.
Who knew crossing a stage could fill you with so much pride? I wonder if everyone who walks feels this way, too, or if it is just me because of where I came from. I want to skip all the way back to my seat, but think better of it and continue walking but did wave in the direction of where I can hear my name being yelled.
“I told you.” Alex comes up to me after the ceremony, hugging me.
“You did.” I hold onto him. “You are the main reason I’m here. Thank you.”
“Nah. It was your brains.” He pulls away, not wanting to accept my gratitude.
Whether he accepts he did so much for me or not, I will always be there for him saving us. He has never asked for anything in return for all he does to keep the family moving forward. He could have been lost in the barrage of drugs and gangs, but he stayed smart and dealt without being lost, always thinking about the end game of surviving, not building a fucking Scarface empire.
This is another thing I have to thank the Anders for. Mr. Anders has encouraged Alex to get his GED. He is working on a couple of classes and will be testing this summer. Mr. Anders has even given him a job on the ranch. He is learning about being a ranch hand. It’s not glamorous work, but it has made him happy—an honest dollar made and not having to worry about the cops knocking down your door to arrest you.
Javie is so good with his hands he found a paid apprentice job with a welder. Who knew welders were in such high demand and made a really comfortable living?
The Anders’ ranch is not too far from Guela’s house. They just jump on the freeway and, in about thirty minutes, they are there. Garrett told me he passed my neighborhood on the freeway all his life and never thought about what was concealed behind the rundown shopping centers. Maybe we can leave the hood. Maybe it doesn’t have the hold I always thought it did. Maybe it’s just wanting it bad enough and working for it. That’s really it. Working for it. When things get rough, many quit, not weathering the storm.
“I need to get my ass in gear, too!” Lola comes up to me, hugging and kissing my cheek. Her immeasurable positivity is a fresh welcome to my life. My doomsday mentality can take a break with her around.
“You do. No more breaks to find yourself. I think the you you are is perfect.” I hug her back. This friendship, one of trust and mutual respect, is something I will always treasure.
As Alex requested, I stayed away from the hood parties I was so inclined to join before. I would crawl back to the hood—the only place I thought I deserved. I never felt like I fit into this ‘normal’ life until Garrett and Lola forced me to re-evaluate it. I tried talking to Amelia on a few occasions to encourage her to finish her Associate’s degree and to kick her piece-of-shit boyfriend out. She didn’t take to kindly to my ‘judgment’ and stopped speaking to me.
You never know whether the moments that pass us by will be a monumental part of our life. We go about our daily lives as always, never knowing how or when the people we meet or the experiences we have will shape us. Life is just one big experiment. A bunch of trials and errors, hoping they lead you to prosperity.
I wish my mom was here. To hear her say, just once, she is proud of me is all I ask but not something I will get. I’m not surprised she didn’t show, but it still stings a bit. But even with this small hole, I am happy. This content feeling full of joy is strange but very welcome.
Garrett is talking quietly to his dad a few steps away from the group. I hope all is well, because I’ve learned they are the same and can clash at times. At that moment, they both turn to face me, smiling. That’s a good sign.
Garrett comes to stand right in front of me. “I am so incredibly proud and happy for you.” He places a small kiss on my lips then drops down on one knee. He holds out his hand, holding a beautiful solitaire engagement ring.
“I don’t want to spend my life with anyone but you. Will you do me the honor of being my wife?”
Stunned at his request, I am speechless at first. This can really be my life. “Yes,” I respond happily.
Garrett saved me. Not by being the knight in shining armor who whisked me off to the castle, but by opening up my heart. Showing me what true love, respect, and trust looks like.
Acknowledgements
First of all I need to thank my family. To my husband who tolerates my face constantly focused on my computer screen, I love you and would not be chasing this big dream without your support. To my daughter who I want to model chasing dreams and working hard. I want her to know the world can be hers as long as she works for it. To my dad who continues to be proud even if he doesn’t quite understand or enjoy the genre I write. To my mom who I miss everyday, who enjoyed reading just as much as I do.
Next I need to thank my alpha readers. Shirley, Adelina and Selena, THANK YOU! Without your kind words and critique I would have stayed stuck. I was so nervous turning it in to the editor. The story changed so much from when I first began, I doubted myself.
Thank you to the indie community. It has been a wonderful adventure filled with ups and downs, but through it all these amazing authors are there supporting, cheering, answering questions, etc…
But there are two indie authors I especially have to thank, Melanie A. Smith and Maria Ann Green. These two amazing ladies have helped me throughout this process. They have offered words of encouragement, helpful ideas, feedback, and actual hands on help. Go read their books! I promise, you won’t be disappointed.
A huge THANK YOU and SHOUT OUT to Maria Ann Green! She jumped in and helped me complete my book cover when I was battling software and losing. I have her to thank for completing the amazing cover I began.
To all the readers, bookstagramers, bloggers, reviewers THANK YOU. I am amazed with the time and energy everyone spends sharing the books they love. The books that transport them. The books they get lost in.
About the Author
Tori is a Texas gal
born and raised. She is an educator by day and writer by night. A daydreamer by heart, she finally began writing the stories that would play in her head. She is a lover of wine and reading.
Debut Novel
Naïve in Love
Stay in touch with Tori Alvarez
www.torialvarez.com