by Anthology
“I want us to talk. I want us to try to work this out. So I’ll see you tonight.” He opens the door.
“You won’t. Cat hair and all.” I do an impression of a game show hostess thing with my hands to encompass my body. “It gets on everything, clothes and such.”
Corey’s practically out the door. “Call me, please. We can work this out. I still love you.”
With that, the door clicks shut, and I abandon thought of the unmade coffee and sink on the couch. In seconds, Sable bounds on my lap, and I stroke her amber fur. Purrs vibrate through her body.
“Thanks for the attack dog impression.” I scratch behind her ears. “Did you see his face? It was priceless.”
I laugh to myself, only to realize I’m still pretty tired. How long had Joel kept me up? When I jump to my feet, Sable leaps from my arms, frightened by my sudden movement.
“Sorry,” I mutter, stumbling toward the bedroom.
Something tells me I’ll want to be lying down when I remember all that happened in the wee hours of the morning with Joel in my bed.
Chapter Three
Surrounded by his scent, I easily slip into the memory of what happened hours before…
His kiss is like liquid flame. I melt under his touch like a Popsicle on the beach in high summer. His fingers find my skin and blaze a trail over my belly and up to caress my breasts. My nipples tighten and my breasts feel full, like I’ve gained a cup size as he continues his assault on my mouth.
I’ve never been kissed like this. Corey did well in that department, but Joel is far different. There is a hunger there like he wants to eat me alive, and it turns my bones into jelly.
Another hand snakes under my shirt, pushing it up until I lift my arms in understanding of what he’s trying to accomplish. My shirt gone, he doesn’t waste time releasing my boobs from the confines of my bra. Then he’s there, suckling and making me wet in the worst way. I arch into his touch, needing more, but of what, I have no idea.
It’s been a long year of not having this kind of contact. I feel lost and out of practice. Joel, however, knows what to do. He climbs on the bed and on top of me.
His heavy weight isn’t a burden. Instead, my nerve endings home in on his hardened cock pressed against my leg.
Alcohol seems to be a wondrous thing. I’m not at all concerned that I’m bare to him. Instead, I use my greedy hands to push at his shirt until he’s on his knees, whipping it off for me.
Muscles flex and create ridges and planes I want to explore with my tongue. I need to taste this man; he, however, has other ideas.
He flicks open the button on his jeans, and my eyes laser focus on the line of hardness that imprints under that denim. It’s long and thick and makes my mouth water. I swallow, nervous, but excited about having his shaft inside me.
“Are you sure you want this?” he asks, watching me carefully for my response.
I nod, hoping my tongue isn’t hanging out of my mouth like a puppy with the window down excited for his first car ride. I quickly shrug off my pants when he hasn’t made a move to touch me again. I’m unwilling to speak, sure my words would still come out slurred, but I know I want him right now.
His chuckle rumbles from deep in his chest. I close my eyes and stretch myself on the bed. He crawls between my legs, forcing me to spread them for him.
“Damn, you’re beautiful.”
My too wide hips, rounded belly, and protruding ass don’t bother me as his eyes drink in every inch of me.
He bends down, knuckles on either side of me, before he presses his mouth to mine and bites my lower lip.
Bite me, I want to say, as images from my latest vampire romance swirl in my head. Thankfully, anything embarrassing I might have said are swallowed by his kiss.
He leaves my mouth and nips down my neck, and I giggle. His body comes to rest on mine to stop my squirming. When his mouth latches on my nipple, I arch involuntarily, as the band between my brain and my core goes taut.
Gliding his hands down the sides of my rib cage, he finds his way to my center. Warm breath blows over my sensitive nub, and I moan in anticipation.
“I can’t wait to taste you.”
His statement gives me a fleeting moment of panic as I wonder when was the last time I’d landscaped Area 51. As long as it’s been, I’ve labeled that place as restricted until now. And it has been as dry as the Sahara Desert until Joel came in like a hurricane.
Red warning lights begin to flash behind my closed eyes when his mouth makes contact. Corey had always danced around the area as if he expected to have an allergic reaction to my pussy. Not knowing any better, I’d accepted his fleeting attempts at oral pleasure. But Joel is so considerate; he licks like he’s trying to find liquid gold in my pussy, and I’ll gladly give it to him.
Words of warning bang around in my head as the pleasure he creates reaches inner core breach levels.
“Don’t press that button.” I’m somewhat aware the words left my mouth and hadn’t stayed in my head.
His chuckles vibrate over my clit, and I lose it. Grabbing his head, I hang on as I have the orgasm of my life. Vaguely, I realize the poor man probably can’t breathe the way I’ve jammed his face against me.
I release him, so embarrassed my eyes are shut tight. I hear him move around and wonder if I’ve blown any chance at the rest of the show.
Then he’s there, arms under my legs, spreading them as my ass leaves the bed. Still ashamed, I don’t glance at him until he pushes in and I’m split in two.
Eyes wide, mouth agape in a gasp, I watch as he slowly slides into me. I start to reach for him, unsure what I plan to do. He takes my wrists and guides them over my head and pauses.
I try to catch my breath, never having felt so stretched in my life.
“Give it a minute.” He breathes as if it’s taking all his concentration not to move. “You’re just so tight.”
I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not, considering my brain is still offline from the first explosion. “That’s what happens when you haven’t been with anyone in over a year.”
“Then it’s best we do something about it.” He begins to kiss away my frustration.
When he starts to move, I’m sure the ceiling above us has opened up to the glorious moonlit sky. I see stars—hell, I see galaxies as he takes me to places no man has been before.
His blue eyes remind me of Chris Pine’s, and suddenly I’m on the Starship Enterprise. When he cups my face, I giggle, hearing the theme song for Star Trek in my head.
“Are you going to Vulcan Mind Meld with me?”
He smiles for a second. “Quiet.” He silences my Trekkie comments and angles his thrust differently.
My eyes roll in the back of my head, making me forget. Until the words “these are the voyages” ring in my head as my second orgasm hits light speed.
His thrusts begin to lose their rhythm, and my eyes open to see the strain corded on his neck. One stroke, then two, and he groans, slumping on top of me.
My body folds in half as I sit up in some horror movie way, awake from my memory with realization on my tongue.
He didn’t use protection. And that had only been our first round of the night.
Chapter Four
Shooting out of bed like a cannon, I tear open my closet doors. Taking clothes out one by one, I dump what I don’t want until I find a pair of loose yoga pants and an oversized t-shirt to pull over my head.
I don’t bother with shoes. I’m only going across the hall. My poor cat Sable doesn’t know what to make of my approach and scurries out of my way.
For the second time that day, an unexpected man stands on the other side of the door when I open it. His fist is raised as if he’d been about to knock on the door.
“Ears burning?” His questioning eyes appraise me. “You know the saying…” His stare says otherwise. “Never mind.” I shake my head. I’d been about to go to his place and hadn’t exactly spoken his name out loud, so the saying did
n’t actually work. “I was just coming to see you.”
That’s when I notice the bag in his hand and what appears to be a cake box resting in his other palm.
“I thought I would bring you birthday dinner. I guessed you wouldn’t want to go out.”
“And ice cream cake?” I ask excitedly.
His grin widens, and I’m at a loss for words. Who is this man, and why can’t he be ten years older?
He heads in the kitchen with the purpose of a man who knows his way around. And he does. Joel and I, both being single, like to share a meal with another person on occasion. Our friendship has grown from there.
I don’t have a table. It’s just me, so I sit on one of the bar stools at the counter between the living room and kitchen. Joel joins me. He takes two bowls out of the bag and hands me one and puts the other in front of him.
“Bangkok curry from Noodles and Company. Your favorite.”
It is, and I thank him as he hands me chopsticks. He’s been trying to teach me to use them. It’s a work in progress.
His blue eyes latch onto mine, and I can see the worry in them. I might as well get this over with.
“Did we—” I begin.
Sable comes over and nuzzles Joel. He strokes her fur as he answers me matter-of-factly.
“Have sex. Yes. And I don’t want you to have any regrets or get weird about it.”
God, he’s young. His earnest eyes are so full of hope, where hope can’t possibly exist. I press on. I really need to know the answer to my question.
“No weirdness. I wanted to know if you used protection.”
Okay, weirdness totally amplified. I feel like roses are blooming on my cheeks with a heat lamp aimed at them.
“Umm…” he murmurs.
Creative curses string together like tree lights in my head.
“You didn’t?” I confirm.
He bites his lower lip and for a second, and I almost lean over and kiss him. What the hell, cougar girl? Get back.
“I didn’t have one on me, and honestly, I didn’t think after you gave me the go signal. But you’re on the pill, right? Because I’m clean. I’ve never gone without except one time in high school, and I get tested regularly. I assume since you’ve only been with one guy…”
“One guy who cheated on me,” I clarify. “But you’re safe there. I’m clean too. I got tested immediately after I found out and six months later, which reminds me I should get tested again. But I’m not on the pill.”
His eyes grow to the size of quarters as he blinks. Irrationally, I want to say a penny for your thoughts, figuring a quarter should cover the cost of them.
“You’re not on the pill?” he asks slowly, as if it’s a foreign concept or maybe a foreign language I’m speaking.
“No, Corey and I had been trying to get pregnant the last few years.”
“What about the morning after pill?”
It takes me a few seconds to put it together. “They have that available over the counter?”
He nods.
My sister and friends are all married with little ones. These last few years, I’ve been focused on getting pregnant, not trying to prevent it.
Suddenly my throat seizes up and I find it hard to choke out the next words. “You know what? It’s not a problem.”
I shake my head and wave away anything he might say. What a fool I am? What am I worried about?
His chopsticks are left in favor of his arms circling around me. “What’s wrong?”
Tears burn my eyes, and I bury my face in his chest. “Nothing.”
“Come on, Olivia. I thought we were better friends than that.”
His words make me think of Corey. I’d thought he was my best friend, and look how that turned out. A sob makes a break for it and leaves my throat.
“Talk to me, babe.”
“Babe?” I repeat. I’ve been darling and sweetheart, but I’ve never been a babe.
A comforting hand strokes down my back. “Just talk to me,” he pleads.
Pulling away, I wipe at my eyes and decide to say it like you rip off a Band-Aid.
“We tried to get pregnant, but I failed. We tried almost everything. So you don’t have to worry. There’s no chance of me getting pregnant.” The admission is gut-wrenching. “This is why we can never be.”
“What?” He looks almost offended.
“What we did last night is great. But you’ve got your whole life ahead of you.”
“Don’t you?”
I sigh. “You’re twenty-five. You should be dating someone your own age. A girl who can give you babies one day.”
“Babies. Who says I want kids?”
“Whether you think you do or don’t, you’re still young enough to change your mind. I’m thirty-five, and my eggs are aging. If I can’t have kids now, how do you think I can have them if we’re together and you change your mind?”
“So that’s it?”
He’s angry, and I’m sorry for it. My heart breaks. He’s a good guy and everything I wish I’d had ten years ago.
I nod. “There’s a girl at work who’s a year younger than you. She’s really cute. You should come by so I can introduce you.”
The stillness in his body is nerve-wracking. “We had sex. You promised no regrets. And now you want to fix me up with someone else.” He ends on a humorless laugh.
“I don’t regret anything,” I lie. “We can still be friends. I just think I need to date guys my own age. I’m not ready to settle down yet. But if I find someone, I want their expectations about our future to be certain. Most men my age or older might already have kids, or they are totally sure they don’t want any.”
Somewhere along the way, we are no longer sitting, but standing facing each other. His height makes me feel small. The way his eyes have gone flat without emotion makes me want to cry.
He gives me a stiff nod. “I should probably get going.”
His back is to me before I can squeak out a protest. “Wait.” He doesn’t stop his stride as I call out, “Your food?”
The door is open when he finally turns enough to say over his shoulder, “Keep it. Happy birthday, Olivia.”
Ungracefully, after the door closes, I fall to my knees and sob.
Chapter Five
My phone rings off in the distance. I sit on the floor where I landed, having cried myself into dehydration.
It’s my birthday, I think dully as my phone finally silences.
The look of betrayal on Joel’s face replays over and over in my head.
The phone rings again, and I remember I have family who may need me. What if someone is sick or hurt, and I’m too busy wallowing in a cesspool of my own making? Bones creak and pop as I get to my feet. I plunge into the gloomy darkness of my bedroom and find my phone.
“Hello,” I say, taking a nosedive on the bed.
I want to bury myself in the covers and forget. But how can I when Joel’s clean, woodsy scent clings to my sheets like I’d clung to him hours before?
“Happy birthday, Livvy.” And that’s when I start to cry in earnest. “What’s wrong?”
“Joel hates me,” I whine like a dog who wants to come inside on a cold night.
Rolling over, I tuck my cell between my shoulder and my ear. I wrap myself in covers, shivering from the frosty look Joel had given me when he left.
“Joel?”
“I had sex with him,” I say like the words are lyrics to a Taylor Swift song, sorrowful and filled with pain.
“You didn’t!” She sounds like our mother when she’d scolded me in the past for doing something wrong, while trying not to laugh when whatever I’d done had been funny.
“I did!” I sob, covering my face with a pillow as if to hide from the reality of it.
“How was it? Wait.” The background noises start to fade before I hear a door close. “Okay, Corey’s here, and I don’t want him eavesdropping.”
It all comes back to me. “Traitor. How could you invite him over for my
birthday dinner?”
“He’s Darren’s cousin. I didn’t invite him. But when he showed up, I couldn’t send him away. The kids adore him.”
Groaning, I’m reminded again that Corey will never completely be out of my life. We’d grown up in a small town in northern Maryland. The dating pool is small there, but at least we only ended up with cousins, not brothers.
“Let’s get back to sex with Joel. How was it?”
“I was drunk, thanks to you. And when I woke, Corey was at my door, pounding like he knew I was inside.”
“Oh.”
“What did you tell him?” I demand.
She sighs. “It’s not what you think. I was caught off guard. He was talking to Darren, apparently, while I was trying to get a crayon out of Izzy’s nose. I didn’t know who he was talking to, I swear. So when he asked if you were home, I answered truthfully and said you ought to be.”
“Great.” I start to ask about my niece and the crayon when she beats me to the punch.
“What happened?”
Resigned, I tell her the rest.
“I open the door, thinking it’s Joel, but it’s Corey. Joel was still in my room and comes out shirtless. Corey looks like he’s going into anaphylactic shock. Hell, I was about to get my Taser gun to shock him back to life when Joel kisses me.”
“In front of Corey?” my sister asks like she has a bowl full of popcorn in hand.
“Exactly. Then they practically circle themselves in male domination. I wanted to preen like a peacock, but the thought of cock had me thinking of Joel and his magic stick.”
“Magic stick. Does he move like Mike?”
“Mike?”
“You know, Magic Mike?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never seen the movie,” I confess.
“Blasphemy. What do you visualize when you break out your vibrator?”
“My imagination.”
She tsks. “We must rectify this immediately. Do you have a DVD player?”